Mecca Cola, the official drink of the Organization of Islamic Conference (OIC) is now available in Israel. Mecca Cola, which gives 10% of its net profits to charities that benefit Palestinian children and another 10% to local charities, began in France (figures) in 2002 riding a wave of anti US and anti Zionist sentiment. It has been so successful that it has inspired counterfeits and imitators. Miqdad Idris, Mecca-Cola’s Israel company director had initiated the distribution of the product in Israel. “It is our right as Muslims to create an alternative to things that exist in the world”. Mecca Cola, which urges consumers “Don’t drink stupid, drink committed,” produces about 4 million 8 oz servings a month. Coca Cola produces 40 million an hour. Mecca Cola drinkers say it tastes like Pepsi.

I personally think that paying for and drinking any soda pop is stupid, no matter what the cause. But it got me thinking … As long as you’re all drinking this crap, how about a refreshing Cola beverage for the Jews? I mean the profit margins on selling sugary carbonated water must be HUGE! Click on the Jewlicious Cola logo to the left to see our first poster. Venture capitalists can send bucketloads of cash to ck@jewlicious.com. We’ll even give part of the profits to needy olim!

Al Jazeera reports that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi has been captured by a joint force of US troops and Iraqi police. Zarqawi, responsible for a string of suicide bombings, assasinations and attacks in Iraq as well as the beheading of American Nicholas Berg, had a $25 million bounty on his head. Some visitors to Al Jazeera’s Web site believe that Zarqawi’s capture this close to the US elections was more than just a coincidence and predict the capture of Osama bin Laden in about 5 weeks time. We’ll see, huh?

… stupid? What the hell does this BlogAd for New York / New Jersey law firm Coleman and Weinstein mean? “We’re smart-looking lawyers, and good ones as well… We do it smarter-faster-cheaper and make your business look good.” So the smarter-faster-cheaper part is where the Yiddish thinking comes in, and the dressing British part is what makes them look smart? Meaning the British aren’t actually smart, they just look it. And Yiddish speakers do things intelligently and inexpensively but they usually look like crap? And these are good things that you ought to look for when shopping for a lawyer? I just don’t get it.

Uhm, I don’t know what to make of this so , well… let’s just run with it ok? St. John’s Telegram reports the following story today that claims that many people of Acadian or French Canadian heritage may actually be Jews! Common surnames include LeBlanc, Bourgeois, Landry, Mallet, Doucet, Vienneau and many more. Bernard Landry, pictured here, is the head of the Nationalist Parti Québécois – the official opposition. The advent to power of the PQ in 1976 is often cited as a reason for a subsequent major anglo and Jewish exodus from Quebec. Here’s the story:

Cajun or Jewish?
Sandra DeVlin
July 29, 2004 Thursday Final Edition

Jackie Bourque is in the eye of a whirlwind of mixed emotions since discovering she and thousands of others in Atlantic Canada may have been misled over many centuries about their Acadian heritage.

“I had been led to believe I was a Cajun girl and that we had to maintain our French … and not mix with the English,” says the Bathurst, N.B. native who is currently living in Quebec.

“It took me several weeks to actually accept that I am Jewish more than I am Acadian,” says Jackie, who believes she has stumbled upon a little-known or little-discussed fact: that many of the familiar Acadian surnames are more likely of Jewish origin than of French.

“People will not generally accept this,” she says, “because they have been brainwashed.”

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12 year old Ilana Wexler totally rocked the house in front of 35,000 wildly cheering delegates at the DNC. The founder of Kids for Kerry was invited to speak at the convention by Theresa Heinz Kerry after Heinz Kerry heard her speak at a Bay area Women for Kerry event.

With her high-pitched delivery and breathy enthusiasm, the seventh-grader from Oakland, Calif., wowed the crowd Tuesday night.

And when she chided Cheney for using a four-word expletive in an exchange with Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy, she brought delegates roaring to their feet.

“When our vice president had a disagreement with a Democratic senator, he used a really bad word,” Ilana said. “If I said that word, I would be put in a timeout. I think he should be put in a timeout.”
(see the video on MSNBC)

According to the JTA, Wexler is already taking booking calls from Jay Leno and David Letterman.

I love interfaith dialogue! It contradicts the commonly held notion that religion is close minded and makes you feel all mushy and warm inside. Recent examples of similar efforts to bridge religious divides include Jewish community assistance lent to an unfortunate Afghani child. There’s also the condemnation by the Canadian Jewish Congress of anti-Muslim graffiti sprayed in a multifaith prayer room at Ryerson University.

And don’t think it’s one sided either! CAIR (The Council on American-Islamic Relations – a DC based Islamic lobbying group) is certainly doing its part. They have their warm and fuzzy Hate Hurts America Campaign which “aims to fight against a “downward spiral of interfaith mistrust and hostility.” So far the campaign’s Web page only contains an article criticizing Jackie Mason’s impolitic opinions, but I’m sure there’ll be lot’s of cool stuff there soon.

So does CAIR now sit on its laurels? No! CAIR recently announced that

“in an effort to foster better cooperation between Muslims and Jews,” its Southern California chapter, along with several California mosques and branches of the Muslim Student Association, is sponsoring a speaking tour by “the renowned Rabbi Yisroel Dovid Weiss, director of Neturei Karta. CAIR says its association with Weiss’ group will improve interfaith dialogue and “focus on ways for Muslims and Jews to cooperate, in order to challenge racism, injustice and those who attempt to divide us along religious lines.”"

Sweet! For those of you that don’t know, the Neturei Karta are a radical, rabidly anti-Zionist, anti-Israel group of ultr- Orthodox Chassidic Jews. At their demonstrations they often fly Hamas and Islamic Jihad flags . Far from being a mere knee-jerk attempt at interfaith dialogue, these Neturei Karta guys unequivocally support suicide bombings against fellow Jews and believe that the Zionist state known as “Israel” is completely illegal. Can’t wait to hear these guys speak. Thanks CAIR! Thanks Neturei Karta!

I am also pretty sure there’s going to be loads of interfaith dialogue at the UN, especially in light of what happenned at a recent meeting between UN ambassadors from Arab and EU countries. At the meeting the Arab ambassadors, using blunt language that left the Europeans “shocked” and “depressed,” declared that they would do all they could to prevent an upcoming resolution condemning anti-Semitism from ever being voted on.

Feel the love yo!

Tiff agrees with me so here’s the scoop. I will no longer post anything else about the whole kabbala celebrity thing. It’s overdone already. No more Britney Spears kabbala wedding – that story’s made it all the way to China, India and Australia – I don’t think there’s a single person in the entire world that doesn’t know about it. No more Madonna encouraging Britney to have a kabbala wedding – in fact no more Madonna / kabbala anything!

I don’t like their music, I am unimpressed with this Judasim Lite© thing, and I assure all you aspiring Jewish hipsters, there is NOTHING hip about either Madonna or Britney Spears. Go download some Le Tigre, Peaches , Princess Superstar or the Yeah Yeah Yeahs if you want to pretend to be hip.

I will however note with approval that Madonna is planning on celebrating Rosh Hashanah in Israel. I know, I know – how does a non-Jew celebrate Rosh Hashanah? However, going to Israel is always cool. Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher may tag along as well. I hope they have a sweet visit! And no Punk’n anyone Ashton – Israelis won’t find that too funny I don’t think.

This is ridiculous. Does this signify the end of the world as we know it? Or has the commoditization of Judaism just sunk to an all time low? I thought faux-mitzvahs were bad, but the sale of red strings at Target is, well, I think it speaks for itself. Check out Gawker for some funny commentary on this disturbing trend.
UPDATE: Target now says: “We’re sorry. This item is temporarily unavailable.” Has good taste won out or are they really totally sold out? Oof.

The public relations head of the Revolutionary Guards, Commander Seyed Masood Jazayeri stated that Iran would wipe Israel “off the face of the earth” if it dared to attack the Islamic republic’s nuclear facilities. In other news, Iran threatened to wipe Israel off the face of the earth if it did nothing to Iran’s nuclear facilities. Also, if Israel continued to allow the sale of felafel and shwarma, allowed the playing of matkot along the beach in Tel Aviv, and well, if Israel continued to do anything at all, it would also be wiped off the face of the earth.

The Revolutionary Guards have a PR department??? Masood, dude – when you’re done with your Revolutionary Guard gig, you should like totally give Lizzie Grubman a call. You’re a natural!

Tisha B’Av, the 9th day of the 11th month (yes, the original 9/11) is finally over. I’m glad because I am kind of starving. I’m also glad because we seem to have emerged relatively unscathed. I say relatively because an old synagogue and Jewish community center in Irkutsk, Siberia burnt down. Tragic, yes – I don’t imagine there’s much to do in Irkutsk, especially if you’re Jewish – but compared to the destruction of the 1st and 2nd temples, I still stand by my assessment. We got off easy. But still, if you want to help the Jewish community of Irkutsk, click here. It would be a nice thing to do.

Back in Jerusalem, it was relatively quiet as tens of thousands of people braved the heat and the hunger to spend Tisha B’Av by the Kotel. The Temple Mount remained unscathed as rumours of an attack proved to be untrue. Just to be safe though, Jewish access to the Temple Mount was blocked by the police. A group of 30 “Temple Mount Faithful” could not get in but apparently 2 other groups did. Heck I even got on! It wasn’t Tisha B’Av, but I was wearing a “christ killer” t-shirt and I was hangin with this really sketchy woman. But I digress.

Gershon Solomon, leader of the Temple Mount Faithful was pretty pissed:

This is a total retreat from our sovereignty over the Temple Mount … It’s another dishonor to the Jewish nation by a weak leadership that doesn’t understand the significance of the hour

Hmmm. Oh well. At least someone got Tisha B’Av’s message about sinat chinam – 2 Top Palestinians Settle Dispute With a Kiss:

The Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat and his prime minister, Ahmed Qurei, hugged, kissed and settled their political dispute today with a pledge to pursue limited reforms that have been attempted previously without success.

Uh… ok. Frankly, I don’t understand why Qurei is giving poor Yasir such a hard time. Maybe he’s unhappy about his family’s cut of the Israeli/Palestinian cement trade….

Hey! Remember how everyone was all freaking out about how these skinny, delusional, pimple faced er, I mean extreme right-wing Jewish settler underground bad-ass dudes were planning on blowing up the Al-Aqsa mosque? Well guess what? It was all a little Tisha B’Av joke!!! I did not know of this Tisha B’Av custom, but hell, there’s so much I don’t know ….

Just in case the Minister of Insecurity is reading this and is a bit confused, don’t worry Mr. HaNegbi, the poster is a hoax, the mosques are still on the Temple Mount, there is no construction of the Temple underway just yet. Don’t worry we can still enjoy a merry fast and go hang out at the kotel this Tisha BAAv.

May we all rejoice in the rebuilding of the Holy Temple speedily in our days, in spite of the great agony and pain that this future reality might bring to the hearts of a billion Muslims as well as to some of our more moronic Jewish leaders.

Anyhow, you can read about the hoax here, or uh … read my last post about sinat chinam again. Have an easy fast y’all.

Today is the 9th day of the Jewish month of Av. This has been one heck of a day for the Jews. It marks the day both the first and the second holy temples were destroyed, the day the fortress of Betar fell to the Romans, the day the Jews were expelled from Spain and other tragic events in Jewish history. Amongst other things, Tisha B’Av is a fast day, like Yom Kippur – 25 hours long. However, whereas Yom Kippur focuses on individual sin, Tisha B’Av focuses more on collective sin. The Talmud tells us that the first Temple was destroyed because of idolatry, incest and the spilling of blood within it. The second Temple was destroyed because of senseless hatred – sinat chinam (Yoma 9a).

Sinat chinam is an interesting concept. It encompasses things like envy, greed and self-glorification. It encompasses treating others with contempt. It implies a lack of reason in a religion that almost always demands and insists upon reason. I say almost because there is one notable exception.

According to Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, Israel’s first chief Rabbi, the second Temple, destroyed by sinat chinam, senseless hatred, will only be rebuilt by ahavat chinam, love without reason. Now, since this is a day for quiet introspection while sitting on low stools, I’ll just let you meditate on that. I know I will.

I was reading this post and lively commentary on halachah and vegetarianism when it struck me just how many people around me do not consume flesh. Let’s see… I guess it started with Alisa, and then my sister Tiffany, sambelina at work, laya, bloggers belle de jew and her buddette who writes for heeb, and of course Alicia Silverstone, sexiest vegetarian of the year.

The whole vegetarian thing is particularly timely given that tonight is the fast of tisha b’av which is preceded by 9 days of enforced vegetarianism. I have of course read all the requisite books about how great a vegetarian diet is and the horrors of the meat processing industry. I keep my meat consumption to a bare minimum and I really do enjoy tofu and seitan and all that stuff. But I’m no vegetarian and neither is any guy I know, except for Wierd Al Yankovic (if I knew him). So what’s with all these women being vegetarians? Is vegetarianism the new Atkins for chicks? Maybe I’ll ask my little sister Tiffany. She knows everything.

So let’s say you’re running for Sheriff of Palm Beach county, and let’s say you’ve decided that getting local Jews to vote for you would be a great idea. So you get your staff to put together a nice 4 page full-color brochure aimed specifically at Jewish voters. Cool. And then you decide that the cover of the brochure should feature a grey wall with Dirty Little Jew spray painted on it with bright red ink. Hmmm… good intentions aside, that’s maybe not such a good idea. It only gets wierder after that. Read all about Ken Eggleston and his quest for the Jewish vote in the Palm Beach Post.

Sure kids – try this at home:

Jews vs. Arabs – and the winner is … Jews!

Jewish Religion vs. Jewish Fashion – and the winner is … Jewish Religion!

Sharon vs. Arafat – and the winner is … Sharon!

Falafel vs. Shwarma – and the winner is … Falafel!

No comment. Feel free to suggest your own Google-Fights!!!

Reuters reports that over “100,000 Israelis have joined hands in a human chain from Jerusalem to the Gaza Strip to protest against Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s plan to pull Jewish settlers from the occupied territory.” OK, maybe it wasn’t a conga line per se, but it did stretch for 60 almost unbroken miles, from the Northern Gaza strip to the Western Wall in Jerusalem. And it was festive, with demonstrators sporting Israeli flags, orange caps and t-shirts (representing Gaza for some reason) and blowing horns. What’s more festive than an orange cap and horns?

Thanks to laya for phoning this story in from Israel. She’ll be blogging here as soon as she’s done her IsraelExperts / birthright israel madrichah gig.

So I was reading this article that I found thanks to Jewschool (Dull Piece on Jewish Cool). Titled “From Jew to Jewcy: Has a pop culture phenomenon replaced the need for community?” it was, as described by Jewschool blogger, Reb Yidlicious, dull. It’s also too long. And whiny. The author goes into this long self referential spiel about his alienated generation of young hipster Jews and how they want to connect with their Judaism but like, in a new way… 1,206 words into the article the author mentions Torontonian Mireille Silcoff and her monthly salon “for people who, like me, who wouldn’t think of going to synagogue but still want to talk about stuff.” (Shinan Govani, National Post: Toronto Scene; Dec. 13, 2003, Pg. TO01)

This sidetracked the shit out of me because Mireille Silcoff used to be former Montrealer Mireille Silcott, author of 2 books on ecstasy, Montreal Mirror party/DJ culture/rave scene columnist (3am eternal) and all around scenester herself. She started off as Silcoff, and changed her name to the less Jewishy Silcott and is currently back to Silcoff. Now living in Toronto where she’s an editor for the National Post, she is being trotted out as an exemplar of the new generation of hipster Jews seeking to build a community for those who feel uncomfortable with traditional Jewish communal organizations, like synagogues for instance.

(more…)

An Israeli helicopter attack in Gaza killed two members of the Islamic Jihad, one of whom was believed to have “jubilantly displayed the severed head of an Israeli soldier two months ago…” The slain terrorist, Hazem Rahim, was on an Israeli list of Palestinians wanted by the Israelis for desecrating the soldier’s bodies after an attack on an APC in May. After the attack, a Palestinian mob was televised mutilating the body parts of the dead troops. Palestinian militants later attempted to exact demands from the Israelis in exchange for the return of the body parts. Minister of Defense Shaul Mofaz vowed to “get to all those who hurt our soldiers and desecrated their honor”.

Well … one down, a couple more to go.

The Hamilton Ontario Jewish Federation raised $10,000 to help pay the medical expenses of Djamshid Popal, a 9 year old Afghan boy sent to Canada by Canadian Army medics for treatment. Djamshid is suffering from a serious heart condition brought on by untreated rheumatic fever. The Hamilton Jewish Federation will hand a cheque to Hamilton Muslim Association president Javid Mirza, who described this gesture as an example of “the good that can be achieved by working together.”

what is the line between practicality and love? if we’re practical then the conclusion is “lets just be friends.” if we’re in love then the conclusion is “love conquers all and we can overcome anything together.” why does love overwhelm us like this? we go back and forth between extremes. want to know something crazy? we’re still just friends. she’s completely terrified to call me a boyfriend or a lover. if she does, she’ll have to think of me in terms that she’s sure will lead to our break-up. she seems so sure that if we deal with important life-long issues of settling down, we’ll have no choice but to separate. i’m confidant that’s bogus but how do i convey that?

(more…)

Due to their unprecedented growth and in an effort to gain more membership, the King David Bikers have announced that they are moving from their regular digs in Boca Raton to Hollywood. The 80 member Jewish motorcycle “gang” is making a strategic move from its Sunday morning meetings at the Rascal House in Boca Raton to Hollywood to make itself available to the densely populated Jewish communities to the South.

KDB founder, Jeff Mustard, stated “I looked for a month and a half to find the right place before settling on JPs Bistro a/k/a Jerusalem Pizza, a Kosher restaurant just a little west of I-95 on Stirling Road” King David Bikers meet every Sunday morning between 9:30 and 11 am. They don’t deal in hookers or drugs or turf wars though. Mostly they just eat and support various Jewish causes. As mustard puts it “The difference between the KDB and other clubs is that membership will replicate the Jewish lifestyle, meaning mostly every ride will revolve around food, as opposed to alcohol, as is often the case with other club rides. “As Jews, we must be the hungriest people in the world, we barely finish a meal and we’re wondering what we’re gonna eat next; what better excuse than to ride somewhere on your bike and get something to eat.”

Visit their Web site for more info.

if i were a betting man i’d say that this is the girl that i’m going to marry. the initial euphoria of telling each other that we’re in love is beginning to settle into reality as she begins contending with issues that complicate the purity of our love. so what if i don’t match a million out of a million things she would have defined as her perfect mate?

none of us are perfect and when connecting with someone else the imperfection of both is magnified and the relationship itself can never be perfect. we will never find the perfect person for us to build the perfect relationship with. however, i am extremely flexible with her dedication to the religion and wanting to be more religious. but she has to be ok with the fact that i won’t be the one suggesting we do more religious things.

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Shout! Factory Records has announced the planned release of a six-disc CD boxed set featuring the work of comedian Lenny Bruce (nee Leonard Schneider). The boxed set will include 7 hours of previously unreleased material. Bruce’s comedy featured scathing political humor in tandem with off-color language that often got him in trouble (see pic) but made him an artist way ahead of his time.

Bruce had interesting things to say about Judaism too:

Dig. I’m Jewish. Count Basie’s Jewish. Ray Charles is Jewish. Eddie Cantor’s goyish. B’Nai Brith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. Marine corps – heavy goyim, dangerous -… Pumpernickel is Jewish, and, as you know, white bread is very goyish … If you live in New York, even if you’re Catholic, you’re Jewish.

Bruce died on August 3, 1966 of a heroin overdose. He was 40. Read more about him here. The boxed set will be available September 14, 2004.

I was really worried that I’d have nothing to write about today. Seems like it’s just the same old stuff rehashed – people pissed off at Sharon about his comments regarding French Jews, other people so pissed off at Sharon that they want to kill him, Arafat is still in trouble, the Jewish community in New Zealand is still upset about recent grave desecrations … I know these are all important things, but this blog has turned me into a news junkie and I don’t want to just be informed, I want to be entertained.

And then along comes Kinky Friedman, riding to the rescue like a Western hero of days gone by. Decades before there was Matisyahu, 50 Shekel, the Hoodios, Remedy Ross and the whole new crop of Jewish hipster musicians, there was Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jew Boys – the original bad ass Jewish Hipsters. With country and western hits like “They’re not Making Jews like Jesus Anymore,” Kinky was so improbable, so over the top, so uncool that he was in fact the coolest thing ever.

So what’s nuttier than a Jewish country and western singer? How about a Jewish country and western singer running for Governor of Texas? In this era of Arnie, Jesse and uh … George, such a scenario is not so improbable, and as Friedman demonstrates in Forward, not so nutty. I mean they can do worse. They have done worse. Go Kinkster!

Alicia Silverstone, 27, star of such films as Clueless and Batman & Robin was recently voted this year’s sexiest vegetarian by radical animal rights group PETA. Silverstone said “Once I became vegan, my nails were stronger, my skin was glowing, I lost a lot of weight. Whoooaa! Is this like great karma or what?” She went on to say, “Going vegan is the single best thing I’ve done in my life. I am so much happier and confident.”

Silverstone shared the honor with Outkast’s Andre 3000. They beat out yiddles Wierd Al Yankovic, Lisa Loeb, Bill Maher, Corey Feldman, David Duchovny (father’s Jewish), Michael Bolton and Perry Farrell as well as a number of other celebrities (like Shalom Harlow, who is NOT Jewish). Previous winners include Lauren Bush (huh??) and Shania Twain.

I, of course, have my own ideas on who 2004’s sexiest veggie is, but it wouldn’t be tsniusdic to mention it.