This is your life… this is your wine

YuckManischewitz?

Found this rather disturbing image at IsThatLegal? (via Toner Mishap). Professor Muller describes its provenance as follows:

Over the break, while in the liquor section of a supermarket in the Dominican Republic, I saw this ad.

Either you will find this funny without my explaining it to you, or no amount of explaining will do the trick.

The first time I ever got drunk was at Rabbi Merkin’s house where he invited our entire grade 7 class for a Purim party. I drank most of a bottle of this blackberry Manischewitz wine and got severely ill as a result. My Mom Brakha was less than impressed with the site of a drunken 12 year old ck stumbling home reeking of bad, bad wine. Since then I classify wine under one of two categories: wine that hurts and wine that hurts less. The notion that somebody, anybody, would find Manischewitz appealing, boggles my mind. No, the people depicted in the ad are not Falashas. Apparently Manischewitz is very popular in the Caribbean. Go figure.

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Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.
18 total comments on this postSubmit yours
  1. Gosh, that warms the heart!

  2. Your Rabbi’s last name was Merkin? That’s hillarious!

  3. Hmmmm, maybe those people in the carribean are on to something… Next time I come over to your mom’s place I’ll try it out! ;) Btw, Tiff totally kicked ass at hockey last night! :)

  4. Maybe it’s just me, but I find myself composing the power ballady anthem that will be featured in the radio and TV campaigns…

    I’m thinking a combo between the Bud Light “Wingmaaaan” commercial, the “I Love Coors Light” commercial (“–and twins!”) and Night Ranger’s stellar “Sister Christian” (“you’re motorin’…)

    Come to think of it, it’s probably just me.

  5. Geoff, how did you know that?

    Thanks for providing me with a word I will never have occasion to use.

  6. TM – one unfortunately acquires a great deal of useless knowledge over the years.

  7. Oy, you don’t have to tell me!

  8. Apikoros! Mamzer! Do not sully ha-yayin ha-kadosh!

  9. Yeah. We found out very quickly that Merkin means pubic / genital wig. But he was a good guy. I think he’s in Baltimore now or something.

    As for you Michael, fine. We’ll be drinking Jaegermeister and Hurricanes and you can walk around the French Quarter sippin’ on ‘schewitz. Don’t come cryin’ to me afterwards though about your hangover and stuff. I’ll be too busy laughing my ass off at you.

  10. Nothing wrong with the Jew brew. It tastes like cool-aid and if you get a hangover from it thats probably ’cause you don’t drink it right. imo

  11. I’ve drank entire bottles in one sitting without a resulting hangover. And I don’t drink much. Maybe you’re just a wuss.

    Speaking of Mardi Gras, are you guys actually coming? Because it’s in less than a month. And I’ll need at least that much time to mentally prepare.

  12. I bet you weren’t fucking 12 years old when you drank an entire bottle of that drekk tough guy. And I didn’t get a hangover, just got very drunk. Had you attempted that at 12 I can just imagine what the terrible repercussions to your delicate Ashkenazic system would have been. As for Mardi Gras, we’re either popping over to terrorize you or I’m going to Israel. I find out for sure tomorrow morning although, I would still strongly encourage muffti to go down in my stead. Show you how a real man drinks. ;)

  13. If Muffti’s invited, Muffti will come. But he didn’t become an atheist just so he could go back to drinking manishewitz! :)

  14. Hi, my name is ck, and my worldview revolves around what direction one’s ancestors decided to go 2000 years ago. I also can’t accept that I am, in fact, a big ol’ sissy who can’t hold his Jew-liquor.

  15. If Muffti wishes to come, Michael will endeavor to make sure there is a Jewlicious place for him to crash.

  16. Patty, you played a great game too…Too bad about all that time in the penalty box. you know, not that I mind or anything, but you probably shouldn’t booze it up before the games… I guess sometimes it’s just hard to separate the boozy from the floozy…:) Like maybe you just took that ad a bit too sreiously, you know the one: “Hey girl, feeling like playing hockey…so COKE IT UP!” ramble, ramble, ramble…gurgle, spit. puke.

  17. Tiffy, you know the boozy floozy in me will never die! Better lay low for a while, though, or David will never give me a Jewlicious T! In which you look really hot, by the way! ;) Your 100% kosher baby, you know what that means!!!!! Man, I still really want THAT t-shirt.

  18. A pleasure to look at, go on with this! Thanks!

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