Comments on: Number 5 Reason Why GrandMuffti Should make Aliyah

By: brad

brad — Fri, 25 Feb 2005 15:04:29 +0000

C Cup and up have a radio ad playing on Israel Radio. Gist of it goes like this:

“he loves my chest….”
“when he’s waiting while I’m trying on things, he waits so patiently…..”
“because I have a double D”

The Haredim must love that. Who are we kidding, all men love that.

By: T_M

T_M — Fri, 04 Feb 2005 00:59:04 +0000

TM finds it amusing to speak at such a remove from oneself.

By: Grandmuffti

Grandmuffti — Fri, 04 Feb 2005 00:52:11 +0000

Muffti wonders what T_M is wondering about. As a man who refers to himself in the 3rd person, Muffti would be happy to answer any and all question on the practice. Try it, it’s fun!

By: T_M

T_M — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 21:02:34 +0000

And TM knows the Muffti knows and is just pretending. But TM sometimes wonders about writing in the third person.

By: Grandmuffti

Grandmuffti — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 20:53:05 +0000

Muffti knows where the logic is, TM. He just pretends to be seeking.

By: Esther

Esther — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 19:43:34 +0000

You’re so right about the crystal meth. My drug culture knowledge is sorely lacking. But I hear that crystal’s a really good diet aid.

By: T_M

T_M — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 09:30:08 +0000

Awww, shucks!

By: laya

laya — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 09:13:14 +0000

for the record TM, i rarely get angry, just tired of it the broad sweeping generalizations and one sided criticism. Otherwise i think you’re just dandy!

By: T_M

T_M — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 08:48:52 +0000

Daphna,

Super revealing clothes + Hareidisville = Possibility of spit showers coming your way

Whenever I write this, Laya turns beet red with anger, ck rolls his eyes, Michael snickers, Grandmuffti seeks to find the Logic, Neo-con refrains from commenting, Ezra and Josh think I’m a secular Jew who’s about to be assimilated, and Haredi Jews everywhere the world over begin to gather spit.

By: Daphna

Daphna — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 08:44:50 +0000

Ahhhhhhh…okay, now it is all clear. So you see, TM, it is all okay. I am not your wife! So I should be spit-free

Whew, my poor little brain was just becoming terribly addled. And I have not had nearly enough caffeine today. Too much too much. Time for my diet shoko–I need some comfort food.

By: Michael

Michael — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 08:18:20 +0000

No, Russian Orthodox priests and TM’s wife. The only people ever spat upon by charedim in Jerusalem.

By: Daphna

Daphna — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 08:13:03 +0000

What is this TM? Now we are spitting on nice Jewish girls? I thought that treatment was reserved for Russian Orthodox priests? Oh, so very confusing.

By: ck

ck — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 07:03:40 +0000

Esther: I believe the clubbing element of the diet you described is missing a couple of dietary supplements: ecstacy, special k or crystal meth. So good to know that we’re finding work for all those Moscow U. Chem PhDs.

By: T_M

T_M — Thu, 03 Feb 2005 00:07:16 +0000

Daphna, it depends. Do you wish to be spat upon?

By: daphna

daphna — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 22:46:55 +0000

Is it that simple? Esther, you are mamash a genius! Walla! What brand of cigarettes? I will start sucking up the nicotine tommorow. I too will be able to buy super revealing clothes at Fox. Now that should go over well at work. Especially since I work in harediville…..

By: Esther

Esther — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 18:30:13 +0000

Daphna, if any of us were willing to adhere to the typical Israeli woman’s diet, we’d all be one of the three sizes you mentioned…

ISRAELI WOMAN’S DIET

Breakfast: cucumber and tomato salad, 1/2% cottage cheese.
Lunch: two packs of cigarettes.
Mid-afternoon snack: Diet Pepsi
Dinner: half-bottle of vodka, bisli
Exercise: go out clubbing until dawn, punctuated with smoking breaks for energy

No muss, no fuss. You’ll be anorexic in no time at all!

(You’re WELCOME.)

By: Daphna

Daphna — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 07:48:01 +0000

No hate on skinny girls, just hate trying to shop in a country where any outfit that is vaguely nice and attractive comes in the following sizes: slim, skinny and anorexic. And while I am not fat, I do not find that those sizes fit me. (I have the traditional Jewish girl figure) And to cap it all off, most of the stuff they have for women with chests is loose and flowing–settler-chick or haredi-chick style. So not me.

After 3.5 years, I am irritated. And longing desperately for Anne Taylor and Petite Sophisticate and Eddie Bauer.

As for falafel, I like falafel, but not in the same way I did when I was a tourist. I mean, I eat here every day, so I need to have some variety. Plus, for the first year I was here, my idea of eating out was falafel (budgetary constraints), so I am kinda enjoying the feeling of being prosperous and having “made it” enough to have a bit more variety.

Actually–good cheap thrill…you can buy just the falafel balls for grushim. Like, five of them for 3 sheks. Nice snack.

By: Dina

Dina — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 06:01:52 +0000

A friend of mine pimps out Jewish girls…he runs the 47th Street Escort Service.

Would you like his number?

By: Michael

Michael — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 03:10:15 +0000

Another reason to date and make babies exclusively within the tribe, I guess.

But where are these Jewish girls?

By: JC

JC — Wed, 02 Feb 2005 02:52:05 +0000

Well…okay–ya’ got me there. But it’s the “and Up” part of the store’s name that has me wondering…hmmm…no svelte Natalie Portman-types with D-Cups around here…that area must be “off-limits” and reserved at the back of the store for the caftan crowd…hahaha–YES!