Not Jewish? Do you have a thing for sultry Semites but are afraid you don’t stand a chance because you’re not “Chosen?” Do you want in with our plans for World domination? Do you seek the approval of your Jewish in-laws? Are you a resident of a country so economically deprived that even Israel looks good to you? Are you put off by the need to study for years and adhere to difficult to follow rules?
Then join our hot new Jewish denomination – Rabbi ck’s Temple of the Ephemeral Jew! At Reb ck’s TEJ there are no long services, no boring Rabbi’s speeches, you make up your own rules based solely on what’s convenient for you! Conversion too is a snap. Literally. No more learning complicated stuff, no more unconscionable delays, no more hard rules to follow. Express an interest and with a snap of Rabbi ck’s fingers, as well as a brief commitment ceremony, you’re a member! And that of course is followed immediately by a yummy bagel brunch and the viewing of our favorite episodes of Seinfeld.
So don’t delay and join today before those grubby Rabbis make use of their well honed blackmail and prostitution skills to pass a law overturning the ruling of Israel’s Supreme Court.
At Reb ck’s TEJ, Judaism is whatever you want it to be!