Comments on: Could Lead to Dancing

By: John Ohala

John Ohala — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:35:12 +0000

Okay, since no one responded, here is the joke:

A young couple, of a conservative Jewish persuasion are anticiptaing getting married, so they go to their rabbi for instruction. After the instruction, the young man addresses the rabbi: ‘Well, Rabbi, I know that in our sect, after the ceremony when there is music and dancingy, it is customary for the men to dance with the men, and the women to dance with the women. But this, after all, the 21st century — a new, enlightened age — and I would like your permission to be able to dance with my wife.” The rabbi responds: “No, no, no! It is immodest for the man to dance with a woman.” Now the young man is concerned about what IS allowed after marriage. So he asks the rabbi, hesitantly, “Well, I suppose that after marriange is it okay have sex?” The rabbi quickly respondis: “Of course! It is a mitsvah (a blessing). To have children.” The young man asks “Any position?” The rabbi responds: “You’re inferring that there is more than one? But never mind, it is between you and your wife.” The young man asks: “Woman on top?” The rabbis, with eyes widened, says: “This is an education for me; but, yes, it is between you and your wife!” The young man asks: “And can we do it in an airplane, in flight, in the lavatory, in order to join the “MILE-HIGH-CLUB”?” The rabbi answers: “I am learning so much friom this, but, yes, it is between you and your wife. But make sure to close the door of the lavatory!” Then the young man asks: “And can we do it standing up?” “NO!” says the rabbi, “you may NOT doing it standing up!” “Why not?” says the young man. The rabbi says: “Beciause it could lead to dancing!”

By: John Ohala

John Ohala — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:19:54 +0000

To Mark who wants the full joke for which the punchline is “Could lead to dancing”. If you haven’t already gotten an answer to your request, email and I will happily provide it. But, oy vey! what a long intro it requires! Email directly to
ohala@berkeley.edu — I don’t check this site regularly. (My loss.)

By: esther

esther — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 05:23:28 +0000

Mark, the beauty of this punchline is that it applies to all situations. Kind of like manna was supposed to taste like anything you wanted it to. Or maybe that was tofu.

Still, the joke I heard was: “Why is premarital sex banned? Because it could lead to mixed dancing…”

By: Mark Dworkin

Mark Dworkin — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 23:17:18 +0000

There is a joke whose punchline is “Could lead to dancing”.

I’d appreciate it if someone could email me the joke.

To all a Zisen Pesach

Mark

By: Jewish Mother

Jewish Mother — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 17:25:16 +0000

Needs met? Smell? Huh?

By: Urban Pimp

Urban Pimp — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 15:42:04 +0000

I had a rabbi who said that “dancing is something that you do vertically that you would rather be doing horizontally”.

By: Jobber

Jobber — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 01:13:12 +0000

The best ones is the aquatic Israeli they have at some of the JCC’s now. W/ the Kibbutz music and all…

By: themiddle

themiddle — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 07:16:24 +0000

Yikes, Chutzpah, give us some warm and fuzzy instead of ascerbic generalizations. Please.

By: Chutzpah

Chutzpah — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 05:42:21 +0000

opps ..above was for the martian thread

By: Chutzpah

Chutzpah — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 05:39:54 +0000

Martians smell better, are quieter and make better neighbors than Orthodox Jews. I live in a shtetl, I know.

By: DiGiTaL

DiGiTaL — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 21:23:23 +0000

That guys looks like hes in some sort of JEdi training in that garb

By: Jobber

Jobber — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 18:42:26 +0000

Long ago, we used to have these dancing days w/ the Arabs on campus, it was pretty cool.

By: Netshach Shebe Netsach

Netshach Shebe Netsach — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 07:15:20 +0000

Israeli Dancing Kvetch:

I used to go to scheduled Israeli dancing at
the Community College I went to and at UCLA
later when I transferred there; like more then
20 years ago. It gave me practice for the
Chotanas I went to later, because untill I was
22 I never went to a wedding at all, jewish or
not. No one I knew got married, so it seemed. It wasn’t the local sport to do so. So when it finnally came to actually being
invited or going to one, I was prepared to
function.

They are cute and fun if you are into that.

And No, civilization is still reeking along
regardless….

By: esther

esther — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 06:36:26 +0000

I should have specified that no special footwear is required. But, the article notes, most people wear sneakers. Birkenstocks to Blahniks, I’m assuming they’re all welcome (if one is a little more practical than the other).

If I were running things, I would throw out anyone who wore Uggs. In general, not just at Israeli dancing.

By: ck

ck — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 06:29:12 +0000

Footwear? The only acceptable footwear for Israeli dancing is bare feet, reminiscent of the early kibbutz movement and how they were so poor they had only one communal pair of shoes.

By: Chutzpah

Chutzpah — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 06:03:42 +0000

Hey ya’ll,

What footwear do I need for these classes? Teva Sandals are catching up in price to Frye Boots.

At least the “Chirkeziah” does not involve yelling Sue-ee or Yee Haw.

Can I get a hand clap for the way i work my back?

Tick tock, all around the clock, drop it
Push ya tush, like that!