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Goal!!! Becks Discovers Jewish Roots

Beckham is a Jew!Score one goal for the pamphlet of Jewish sport heroes, and inscribe a new name on the list of Jewish hotties: soccer icon David Beckham is a member of the tribe.

Turns out, his mom’s Jewish. So when Becks found out, he did what any new Jew does. He went to enroll in a seminary to learn more about his Jewish roots and gave extensively to tzedakah got a new tattoo.

The old tattoo, still present splayed across his chest, is of a cross. Hmm. How to get around that? Everyone knows the cure for a cross on the chest is a verse from Shir Hashirim on your left forearm…

“I am for my beloved and my beloved is for me,” reads the Song of Songs tattoo that Becks sports instead of tefillin. And not to be outdone in poshness:

Beckham’s wife, former Spice Girl Victoria Adams, was so moved by her husband’s gesture that she decided to tattoo the same verse on the back of her neck.

But seriously, why are we surprised that he’s Jewish? I mean, look at the evidence:

1) His name is David. (Proof enough.)
2) He has a son named after “the old country” (Brooklyn).
3) A devoted father, he carries pictures of his wife and sons with him (OK, so they’re tattoos on his back, but still..)
4) His other tattooes include “the number seven in Roman numerals (seven being a mystical number, as we all know), a guardian angel across his back and a Michelangelo angel on his right arm” (at this rate, they guy’s like a walking verse of “Shalom Aleichem”).

OK, so it is possible that he had an affair with his nanny (which would be very Fran Drescher, and therefore Jewish, of her). No one said he’s a nice Jewish boy. But he is nice to look at. And apparently a Jewish athlete to be emulated, at least on the soccer field.

Besides, I heard this rumor this week that Jewish men are hot.

Esther Kustanowitz

For more posts by Esther, see EstherK.com, MyUrbanKvetch.com and JDatersAnonymous.com.

76 Comments

  1. Jobber

    8/4/2005 at 2:27 pm

    Are soccer fans more rabid than NFL fans?

  2. josh

    8/4/2005 at 3:08 pm

    He married a shiksa. I think carnal knowledge requires a good stoning (‘skila’).

    On the other hand, a definite tinok s’nishba. We’ll see where this goes, but I frankly don’t care too much for ‘celebs’.

  3. Leslie Bunder

    8/4/2005 at 5:46 pm

    the David “I’m partly Jewish” Beckham thing is really, really old news. He revealed his Jewish connection way back in 2004 in his autobiography.

    His mom’s father was Jewish.

    Story and more here

    cheers

    Leslie

  4. esther

    8/4/2005 at 5:59 pm

    Nice job with the pic, ck. That’s one to hang in my locker at school.

  5. DiGiTaL

    8/4/2005 at 9:47 pm

    Was his tattoo written in Hebrew and/or Yiddish?

  6. marisa

    8/5/2005 at 8:29 am

    This is hysterical.

    I also have a post today on my site about tattooed Jews. It’s all the rage.

    needled.com/ar...

  7. Matt Busby

    8/8/2005 at 3:57 pm

    He has been circumsized. He is not as big a shmock as he was.

  8. David

    8/8/2005 at 4:21 pm

    C’mon now, let up on the Tatts. My family found they could be taken off and tried to “run me through the machine” Even a good Jewish boy does things now and than

  9. esther

    8/10/2005 at 10:53 am

    Leslie, I’m just looking at the article you posted now, and it’s funny: I hadn’t seen your list when I made my own above. Great minds…

  10. Pingback: Rhea Coleman » Blog Archive » Beckham’s Jewish Roots: Madonna Responsible?

  11. Lyndsey

    11/17/2008 at 8:49 am

    first of all he named his son brooklyn because they found out Victoria was preganant with him in Brooklyn, NY. The only reason his son is going to Jewish school is because it is one of the best preschools in all of Los Angeles. His tattos of the three cherubs by “michaelangelo” are for his three sons, and having a verse from a jewish song tattooed on you doesn’t make you a full-practicing Jewish person. The angel on his back is tattooed over the names of his 3 sons (brooklyn, romeo and cruz) to protect them. There is nothing wrong with someone who wants to put art on his body, it doesn’t offend ANYONE.

  12. John

    10/6/2009 at 2:00 am

    Beckham is only slightly more jewish than a Heinrich Himmler. Give me a fucken break. you guys are so fucken self absorbed

  13. Cindy

    1/16/2010 at 9:04 pm

    He’s only part Jewish so that means he’s Jewish? It’s laughable. I suspect he’s paying more homage to his other roots which account for his athletic prowess and good-looks.

    • themiddle

      1/17/2010 at 12:16 am

      Of course, because there are no good looking Jews or athletic Jews.

      Idiot.

  14. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 10:24 am

    As a rule, Jews are not good athletes and are not that good-looking. Deal. Idiot yourself.

  15. themiddle

    1/17/2010 at 11:49 am

    Actually, as a rule, non-Jews are not good athletes and not that good looking. However, since they are 99.8% of the global population and 97.5% of the US population, it is far more likely that you’ll be exposed to a non-Jewish athlete or model than a Jewish one. Even in areas where Jews are found far in excess of their percentage of the population, like, say, the medical profession, they are still a small minority compared to the majority who are not Jewish.

    Idiot.

  16. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 12:41 pm

    Me thinks you need a serious education or need to learn how to read a book. Jews are as they claim themselves only 1-2 percent of the population. Name one famous Jewish (and I mean really Jewish) sports legend. Last I read you were all killed off in the Holocaust. Now all of a sudden you are 97 percent of the population? Insanity at its worst. And as I last saw in real statistics (not fabricated ones like what you are spouting off), most doctors are not Jews. The old adage of “if you say a lie often enough it becomes a truth” doesn’t even apply here in your absurdity and lame attempts to besmirch an obviously European man. Go back to your racist hole where all worms like you belong.

  17. TheMainMan

    1/17/2010 at 12:51 pm

    David Beckham looks British to me. Let’s see, he has light hair, blue eyes, light skin, fine features and he speaks English and he was born and raised in England and he was raised Christian. Hmmm. What can one deduce from this? Oh, yeah, he must be Jewish! Jews are so full of crap it’s pathetic.

  18. mark in east berlin

    1/17/2010 at 1:58 pm

    cindy, mainman, you do realise that you’re looking rather daft here, right?

  19. TheMainMan

    1/17/2010 at 2:35 pm

    huh? daft best describes your mind fool. jews always trying to confuse and detract from the obvious lies they spout. the topic was about jews claiming that david beckham is jewish. i saw recently that jews also tried to claim that elvis was jewish. you people are shameless and racist to boot. really pathetic. get a life fool!

  20. themiddle

    1/17/2010 at 2:35 pm

    Cindy, thank you for proving that you are, indeed, an idiot.

    Mark, of course, didn’t even need to see the IP address to guess correctly that “Cindy” and “TheMainMan” are the same person.

  21. froylein

    1/17/2010 at 2:39 pm

    When I was living in Britain years ago, there was an interview with Beckham in one of those glossy gossip mags, and a key point of interest was Beckham’s Jewish background and his Jewish education as a child.

    If that affects anybody’s views on Beckham’s abilities as a football player, that’s too bad.

  22. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 2:46 pm

    Thank you Mark in East Berlin/TheMiddleMan, whoever the hell you are for proving that jews are racist and stupid. What a pathetic troll. But then is anyone surprised by all of these lies? Notice how jews never address a lie, they just start calling everyone names and then try to discredit them. LOL. You people are so predictable.

  23. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 2:50 pm

    It was his British education and heritage that made him famous, good-looking, intelligent and hot. If anyone has a problem with that, that’s too bad.

  24. themiddle

    1/17/2010 at 3:06 pm

    And what part of your education and heritage makes you so ignorant and stupid, Cindy?

    • froylein

      1/17/2010 at 3:08 pm

      I suppose it’s Cindy’s British teeth that make her so good-looking.

  25. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 3:32 pm

    Egads! Just how many personas do you have? Are you really that desperate to support this lie? LOL. You are really tragic.

  26. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 3:36 pm

    Liars always spin their own demise so go for it. I encourage it! Please show how ignorant, stupid and racist you really are!

  27. themiddle

    1/17/2010 at 3:40 pm

    Actually, we really are 3 different people, all poking fun at you because you are so deserving.

  28. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 3:46 pm

    And your lies/multiple personas are so deserving of my abuse. Trolling at its worst. You need some serious help. Are you a registered sex offender?

  29. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 3:48 pm

    I’ve heard of you guys here. As a matter of fact, this webpage is all about you.

    theawarenessce...

    • froylein

      1/17/2010 at 3:52 pm

      Won’t the other kids let you play with them that you are trying to hang out with adults now? You must be really desperate to entertain yourself with those that you consider inferior.

  30. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 5:02 pm

    No, I’m just interested in the truth unlike you. You are only interested in perpetrating lies and deceit. By the way, how are things in the clergy abuse arena these days? I’m shocked that suckling infant penises is still allowed, aren’t you? What kind of jew would do this to their baby knowing that other babies dies of herpes from this practice?

  31. mark in east berlin

    1/17/2010 at 5:09 pm

    you seem to be straying off-topic, dear cindy.

  32. Cindy

    1/17/2010 at 7:15 pm

    And you seem to be avoiding my question, mark in east berlin/middleman/froylein, etc. whoever you happen to be at this time.

  33. Rabbi Yonah

    1/17/2010 at 9:19 pm

    Can anyone tell me why we bother replying to Cindy? Clearly she has Takes12know1 virus.

  34. LB Chasid (in La)

    1/17/2010 at 11:32 pm

    Can we just post Cindy’s IP Address and be done with it already?

    Idiot.

  35. Cindy

    1/18/2010 at 11:15 am

    Oh, here come the jews ganging up on me because I am exposing another lie and their racist behavior. Can you end this nonsense and remove this ridiculous thread? And go ahead and try posting my IP address. I will make a point of posting all of your IP addresses and expose all the trolls and liars here.

    • froylein

      1/18/2010 at 12:40 pm

      Yeah, right. That’s some odd spelling of “behaviour” for an alleged Brit, isn’t it?

  36. Cindy

    1/18/2010 at 2:56 pm

    I’m not British. There you go again projecting your own racism onto other people. You assume because I am calling out your lies that I must be British. Things slow at the kibbutz today?

    • froylein

      1/18/2010 at 3:40 pm

      Read above, slowly, and try to understand what your earlier comments conveyed. Then crawl into a cave and stay there. Hibernate or play dominoes for all I care. Who knows? Your cognitive abilities might actually benefit from that.

  37. Cindy

    1/18/2010 at 4:07 pm

    Please read your own posts and feel free to address any issue besides insulting me. Your lame statements do not bother me, but they seriously damage your credibility. I noticed how not one jew here addressed the clergy abuse or racist behavior towards white people and Europeans and other races in general. Claiming that a person belongs to a false heritage, advocating and promoting false personal information and parading as multiple identities is dishonest and immoral. But then why did I expect to find morality on this forum?

    • froylein

      1/18/2010 at 4:32 pm

      First of all, this thread is not about abusive clergy of whatever faith. It is about David Beckham’s Jewish background; I weighed in on that one basing my comment on information I obtained while living in Britain; Beckham was rather outspoken then about his Jewish heritage. You disliked the idea that a person you value highly could be of Jewish faith even if non-practising. I don’t think that this actually was what triggered your hardly sane reaction, but that you rather were looking for a spot and an audience to spew your ignorance and likely inferiority complex-driven hateful venom at. You chose to hijack this thread for pushing your own, despicable agenda that I consider almost as despicable as sexual abuse of children (which you, in a way, also do as you mock any victim’s legitimate claims by using this serious issue as a red herring in weak attempts to cover up your thinly-veiled anti-Semitism and off-base concepts of race as in ethnicity as opposed to religious affiliation, hence abusing the victims’ suffering for your own purpose and not for their benefit).

      You’re the only person on this thread who has assumed several identities as we are able to tell from the IP addresses posters can see in the admin section.

      To cut this short, we’ve encountered the likes of you before.

  38. Ephraim

    1/18/2010 at 6:32 pm

    Don’t argue with anti-Semites, frolein. It just encourages them.

  39. themiddle

    1/18/2010 at 8:56 pm

    S/he’s not British. S/he’s from Wisconsin.

    S/he’s a bigoted idiot from Wisconsin.

  40. Cindy

    1/18/2010 at 9:10 pm

    Froylein, do you ever tell the truth? If you read my posts they are about you denying David Beckham his true heritage and proclaiming that he is of another race in order to advance your own personal agenda. I have to ask how much you hate white people and Europeans that you have to falsely claim that someone who is obviously British is now Jewish because he went to a synagogue a few times and has a relative who was Jewish? You are more than ready to completely obliterate his British background, up-bringing, mother’s side of the family, education, rise to fame and wealth (the British made him a star) just to satisfy your fanatic prejudice and racism. That you cannot see the absurdity in this claim tells me that you are indeed blind to your own prejudices and words. And of course, when all else fails you resort to name-calling to further enforce your ignorance. It is you who are racist and hateful that you would deny a man his true race and affix a false one to him based on your own selfish intentions. That is truly despicable. But it has always been beyond jews to see outside themselves and to be impartial about anything where they are concerned. It has been your weakness throughout history and always will be. By the way calling someone anti-semitic does not absolve you of being racist yourself.

    • froylein

      1/19/2010 at 11:17 am

      Cindy, do you see the hubris in your deciding on what Beckham’s heritage is? Unlike you and your ilk, no rational person confuses religious affiliation and cultural heritage with nationality and ethnicity.

      Also, have some elementary schooler explain to you what “name-calling” means.

  41. Cindy

    1/18/2010 at 9:20 pm

    themiddle, get some help. Having multiple personalities is a disorder.

  42. TheMainMan

    1/18/2010 at 9:26 pm

    what’s wrong with wisconsin you twisted a-hole? better than whatever sh*thole your sorry azz came from. fucken retard

  43. LB Chasid (in La)

    1/18/2010 at 11:25 pm

    Cindy, your life must be pretty bland and boring. Investing so much time and effort on here to expose the lies and racism. Do you feel you have accomplished your goal? Do you think about this article when you are offline? Do you get excited when you know you will get to go see what comments have been posted or excited to post something new? I think you have some social problems and there are many Jewish organizations in your area that can give you counseling. We know that it is easy to type the hate but what about in person? I hope you act this way in person vocally and loud and proud so people know what your stance is. I didnt even take the time to read all your jibber jabber but I wish you success in whatever your goal is here. You make this place LOL.

  44. themiddle

    1/19/2010 at 1:31 am

    Cindy, I am all of the characters on this site except for you. Welcome to my universe, little one.

  45. Cindy

    1/19/2010 at 11:41 am

    “Me and my ilk”? That sounds racist to me. That’s like “you people”. No rational person would ascribe someone’s heritage to a religion because of a few visits to a religious institution. or some relative who practiced that religion. Judaism is not an ethnicity or a race or a heritage. It is a religion, plain and simple like any other. Just because I had a grandfather who practiced Buddhism does not make me an Indian. Understand? “You people” try to turn your religion into a racial group in order to justify your hate laws and oppression around the world. Stop molesting people with your racist and narrow-minded fanatic dangerous views. And you can insult me all you want, it doesn’t bother me because I consider the source.

    • froylein

      1/19/2010 at 12:50 pm

      “You and your ilk” are people who try to paint Judaism as a monolithic race. “You and your ilk” are people who hold the wrongdoings of Jewish inviduals against the world’s entire Jewry. “You and your ilk” are people who cannot stand the idea that an accomplished person might be of Jewish faith or has experienced and given evidence to having had Jewish elements in their upbringing or has got Jewish people in their family tree. “You and your ilk” are people that have got nothing to show for themselves other than the hate by which they try to set themselves apart.

      Do some reading; Buddhism is a philosophy, not a religion.

      hate laws and oppression around the world

      A conspiracy theorist, are we?

      Also, I’m not insulting you. I’m calling things as I see them in a rather moderate tone even, and I’ve obviously hit the proverbial nail on the head more than once.

      We didn’t ask you to come here. Keep your paranoia to Wisconsin.

  46. Cindy

    1/19/2010 at 2:42 pm

    This is your lame comeback? LOL. What a liar you are! Your ilk are delusional racists who go around pronouncing everyone else as racist when you are the biggest purveyors of hate-mongering in the world. You can side-step that all you want but it doesn’t change the facts. And yes, Buddhism is a religion dimwit. Read from your own prejudiced biased pseudo-encyplopedia description:

    Buddhism is a religion and philosophy encompassing a variety of traditions, beliefs and practices, largely based on teachings attributed to Siddhartha Gautama…

    They worship gods. That makes it a religion for those of us who even understand what a religion is. Now the next time you open your big ignorant mouth, try saying something intelligent for a change.

    • froylein

      1/19/2010 at 4:12 pm

      Try to find any admitting of deities in the teachings of Siddharta Gautama. Spoiler alert: he denied their existence.
      But I know where your intellectual confusion stems from as Hindus worship gods. There are “mixed” types of observance e.g. in Cambodia, but those don’t even classify themselves as genuine.
      Maybe looking beyond your little sphere would help you in understanding the differences. Maybe you’d also learn that most Indians are not Buddhist but Hindu (about 80%), Muslims coming in second at about 13%, with Christians, Sikh and adherents to other religions constituting a single-digit percentage of the entire population.

      But hey, quoting Wiki might qualify as an actual academic achievement in your neck of the woods.
      If you need any recommendation on quality reading material regarding religions and philosophies, feel free to drop us a line.

  47. Tom Morrissey

    1/19/2010 at 3:00 pm

    Just an angry Landon Donovan fan, I figure.

  48. Roaming Rabbi

    1/19/2010 at 4:19 pm

    this argument been going on since 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!

    who is this cindy hatemonger?

    is she sexually frustrated? poor soul what a sad thing to be

  49. LB Chasid (in La)

    1/19/2010 at 5:43 pm

    @ Cindy. I applaud you for ignoring my response as it is very difficult to respond to facts.

    I direct everyone to the Big Book of British Smiles.

    tvtropes.org/p...

    We can LOL @ That then get back to the serious intellectual discussion with Cindy Contradiction.

  50. Cindy

    1/19/2010 at 7:12 pm

    What serious intellectual conversation is that? LOL You mean the one about your fabricated David Beckam heritage? You people are so delusional it’s tragic. I noticed that you did not address any of my questions either. Can someone remove this ridiculous thread that only serves to spread hatred and racial discrimination among your elitist racist group and everyone else and get on with your pathetic lives?

  51. Cindy

    1/19/2010 at 7:14 pm

    Just as I thought, Froylein is a Nazi.

  52. themiddle

    1/19/2010 at 8:26 pm

    I think it’s important to remember that Cindy is an idiot.

    In case anybody forgot.

  53. Cindy

    1/19/2010 at 10:22 pm

    I think it’s important to remember that you refuse to address any issues presented and chose to be ignorant and racist instead.

    In case anybody wonders.

    • themiddle

      1/19/2010 at 11:47 pm

      Will you kindly point to a place where I was “racist” or “ignorant?”

      If there are any “issues” I didn’t address, it’s only because these were “issues” that only an idiot would consider to be “issues.” In other words, they’re your “issues.” Own them and love them. Idiot.

  54. LB Chasid (in La)

    1/20/2010 at 12:45 am

    Cindy + Commenting on a 5 year old article + classic responses = Complete LoL. You know its LoL when even Rabbi Yonah has time to say hello!

  55. Cindy

    1/20/2010 at 10:47 am

    Themiddle, your racism and idiocy really exhibits itself below. All of the renowned athletes in history are non-jewish. Get an education or read something besides “How to argue like an idiot”. Of course not one jew on this board will call you on your racist and ridiculous statements. Since you people can’t produce any jewish athletes of your own you steal them from other cultures. And as stated before the majority of doctors are not jewish. That’s another lie you perpetrate just to puff yourselves up. And we all know how jews love to steal what doesn’t belong to them and bloat themselves. And those census numbers you profess are bogus. There are a lot more jews in the world than you let on. You use publish those low figures to cover up that the fact that you don’t achieve nearly as much as you claim and less than most cultures in general.

    “Actually, as a rule, non-Jews are not good athletes and not that good looking. However, since they are 99.8% of the global population and 97.5% of the US population, it is far more likely that you’ll be exposed to a non-Jewish athlete or model than a Jewish one. Even in areas where Jews are found far in excess of their percentage of the population, like, say, the medical profession, they are still a small minority compared to the majority who are not Jewish.”

    As for the timeline, so what! A lie is a lie no matter how old it is.

    • themiddle

      1/20/2010 at 1:39 pm

      Cindy, I think a seven year old could out-perform you on reading and comprehension skills.

      By the way, Beckham refers to himself as half Jewish here.

      I also thought you might enjoy this biography.

  56. Cindy

    1/20/2010 at 2:17 pm

    “half-Jewish”. Get it? That does not make him “of the tribe”. He’s still half-British. And I would expect that you would ignore your own pleas for answers from me on where you were racist. The weak-minded and immature always resort to insults and lies when questions are answered and facts are presented to them.

  57. Cindy

    1/20/2010 at 2:18 pm

    themiddle, a worm could outwit you.

  58. LB Chasid (in La)

    1/20/2010 at 7:43 pm

    Cindy compared to you, I think a pile of bricks could partake in a more intellectual conversation.

  59. Cindy

    1/20/2010 at 8:56 pm

    LB Chasid (in La), intelligence just doesn’t seem to manifest itself in you at all, does it? Nothing but insults and lame comebacks.

  60. Tandra

    1/27/2010 at 11:36 pm

    you suck

    • themiddle

      1/28/2010 at 12:54 am

      Tandra = Cindy = Rasha = Idiot

  61. Tandra

    1/27/2010 at 11:36 pm

    i mean all jews suck

  62. Stewart

    3/8/2010 at 12:38 am

    themiddle is a fucking moron

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