Comments on: fricken babies http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/ It's a Jewish Blog! Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:17:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: arlyn http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-696940 arlyn Fri, 21 Sep 2007 23:10:49 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-696940 dude, you're Jews- you got to make ...more Jews! Or at least mama/babcha said. Me, I have none. I see the whole process as vile. dude, you’re Jews- you got to make …more Jews! Or at least mama/babcha said. Me, I have none. I see the whole process as vile.

]]> By: Jewlicious » Blog Archive » I was promised a war-torn desert country http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-479879 Jewlicious » Blog Archive » I was promised a war-torn desert country Wed, 27 Dec 2006 18:43:18 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-479879 [...] Until then, I’m just gonna close the shades and pretend like this is not happening. I hate snow almost as much as I hate babies, and I’m somewhat convinced that simply ignoring either helps them go away. [...] [...] Until then, I’m just gonna close the shades and pretend like this is not happening. I hate snow almost as much as I hate babies, and I’m somewhat convinced that simply ignoring either helps them go away. [...]

]]> By: Jewlicious » The Jewlicious Media Blitz of December 2005 http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-166935 Jewlicious » The Jewlicious Media Blitz of December 2005 Thu, 29 Dec 2005 17:21:50 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-166935 [...] This week also saw the publication of Directions, the Jewish Week’s annual themed NYC Living guide/magazine. This year’s theme was parenting, and one of the articles, by their singles columnist, recounted her experience as a babyless single woman in a world that was increasingly babified, including a citation of by Jewlicious co-founder Laya’s famous “Fricken Babies” post: Recently, my twentysomething friend Laya noted on the Web log Jewlicious that she was weary of her friends’ recent baby-propelled descent into discussions of digestive systems and whether or not smiles are real or gas-inspired. She didn’t see herself having babies and “cooing along with the rest of the pod people” anytime soon, she said. Her remarks provoked an outcry from well-intentioned, but boundary-challenged individuals from all over the world. Invoking imperatives of Jewish continuity and citing Jewish population studies, they demanded that she drop this unpopular opinion in favor of “going forth and multiplying,” preferably immediately. One person suggested that as soon as Laya found Mr. Right, she’d want to “make a lot of babies who look just like him.” I’m no doctor, but last I checked, a uterus was not a Xerox machine. [...] [...] This week also saw the publication of Directions, the Jewish Week’s annual themed NYC Living guide/magazine. This year’s theme was parenting, and one of the articles, by their singles columnist, recounted her experience as a babyless single woman in a world that was increasingly babified, including a citation of by Jewlicious co-founder Laya’s famous “Fricken Babies” post: Recently, my twentysomething friend Laya noted on the Web log Jewlicious that she was weary of her friends’ recent baby-propelled descent into discussions of digestive systems and whether or not smiles are real or gas-inspired. She didn’t see herself having babies and “cooing along with the rest of the pod people” anytime soon, she said. Her remarks provoked an outcry from well-intentioned, but boundary-challenged individuals from all over the world. Invoking imperatives of Jewish continuity and citing Jewish population studies, they demanded that she drop this unpopular opinion in favor of “going forth and multiplying,” preferably immediately. One person suggested that as soon as Laya found Mr. Right, she’d want to “make a lot of babies who look just like him.” I’m no doctor, but last I checked, a uterus was not a Xerox machine. [...]

]]> By: esther http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-166859 esther Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:33:09 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-166859 For more about crazy aunties, specifically about wacky Doda Esther, see my new article in the Jewish Week about <a href="http://www.thejewishweek.com/bottom/specialcontent.php3?artid=1064" rel="nofollow">What to Expect When Your Friends Are Expecting</a>... For more about crazy aunties, specifically about wacky Doda Esther, see my new article in the Jewish Week about What to Expect When Your Friends Are Expecting…

]]> By: quietann http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-162182 quietann Fri, 09 Dec 2005 23:49:05 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-162182 awwww, thanks :) I realize that there are all sorts of rude people out there, not just Orthodox. (in fact the vast majority of the Orthodox Jews I know are nice.) I do kind of have metaphorical children; I am a "crazy auntie" for my friends' babies, and my career is helping others... specifically people with HIV, and people at risk for HIV, and their children. And I have pets :) I like this blog, you know... awwww, thanks :)

I realize that there are all sorts of rude people out there, not just Orthodox. (in fact the vast majority of the Orthodox Jews I know are nice.)

I do kind of have metaphorical children; I am a “crazy auntie” for my friends’ babies, and my career is helping others… specifically people with HIV, and people at risk for HIV, and their children. And I have pets :)

I like this blog, you know…

]]> By: esther http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-162137 esther Fri, 09 Dec 2005 18:36:54 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-162137 quietann, if you've been following this discussion, it won't be any surprise that I am also horrified by anyone who would say that to you. Although I do know people who are very judgmental and would say things like that without thinking about how they might emotionally affect the people they're speaking to...all I can say is that I'm so sorry for your experience. People, even religious ones, are idiots, and need to learn to think before they react. Also, I believe there's a way to "have children" without actually birthing or adopting children--by viewing the commandment metaphorically, you can engage in any kind of activity that creates a better community, environment or world--in any sense of the word "better" that you may choose--and thereby gives the future a better chance. Don't get divorced (as if that were a real option): divorce yourselves from the assclowns who said something so ridiculous and insensitive. quietann, if you’ve been following this discussion, it won’t be any surprise that I am also horrified by anyone who would say that to you. Although I do know people who are very judgmental and would say things like that without thinking about how they might emotionally affect the people they’re speaking to…all I can say is that I’m so sorry for your experience. People, even religious ones, are idiots, and need to learn to think before they react.

Also, I believe there’s a way to “have children” without actually birthing or adopting children–by viewing the commandment metaphorically, you can engage in any kind of activity that creates a better community, environment or world–in any sense of the word “better” that you may choose–and thereby gives the future a better chance. Don’t get divorced (as if that were a real option): divorce yourselves from the assclowns who said something so ridiculous and insensitive.

]]> By: quietann http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-162128 quietann Fri, 09 Dec 2005 17:03:22 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-162128 getting in late on the conversation. I can't have children (for a whole variety of reasons, this includes adopting someone else's as well as having my own). When I married my beloved, a couple of Orthodox a**holes actually told us that we should not get married because I am "barren" and this will keep him from fulfilling a mitzvah. (We are not O by the way... sort of unaffiliated-conservative who occasionally go to Chabad because we like the local rabbi...) I was... horrified and angry (still am, in case you have not guessed). My husband was also furious with these people. What do you say? Should we get divorced so he can go find someone else to marry and have kids with? getting in late on the conversation. I can’t have children (for a whole variety of reasons, this includes adopting someone else’s as well as having my own).

When I married my beloved, a couple of Orthodox a**holes actually told us that we should not get married because I am “barren” and this will keep him from fulfilling a mitzvah. (We are not O by the way… sort of unaffiliated-conservative who occasionally go to Chabad because we like the local rabbi…)

I was… horrified and angry (still am, in case you have not guessed). My husband was also furious with these people.

What do you say? Should we get divorced so he can go find someone else to marry and have kids with?

]]> By: Jewlicious » “Appalling Shadchan Behavior, Aisle 3…” http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-158448 Jewlicious » “Appalling Shadchan Behavior, Aisle 3…” Tue, 22 Nov 2005 18:54:25 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-158448 [...] It’s no secret from anyone who reads pretty much everything I’ve written that one of my central issues with the Orthodox movement is the way it treats singles, especially single women in their thirties and “Godforbidforties”: as “a crisis,” thinking that if the community puts enough pressure on singles, they’ll marry and do their duty to the Jewish people by procreating. Never mind that some people, for whatever reason, may not WANT children at all or right now, or whatever (fricken babies, anyone?)…Or that most singles aren’t just sitting around twiddling their thumbs, waiting for Mr. Godot or Ms. Right to knock at their doors. [...] [...] It’s no secret from anyone who reads pretty much everything I’ve written that one of my central issues with the Orthodox movement is the way it treats singles, especially single women in their thirties and “Godforbidforties”: as “a crisis,” thinking that if the community puts enough pressure on singles, they’ll marry and do their duty to the Jewish people by procreating. Never mind that some people, for whatever reason, may not WANT children at all or right now, or whatever (fricken babies, anyone?)…Or that most singles aren’t just sitting around twiddling their thumbs, waiting for Mr. Godot or Ms. Right to knock at their doors. [...]

]]> By: Eitan http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-158333 Eitan Tue, 22 Nov 2005 02:36:31 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-158333 "The beginning of life is messy, and the end of life is messy. The middle is neat and clean. So, can you cope with a little mess?" Hahaha! The middle is pretty messy too. That's part of what makes the whole thing worthwhile! :>) “The beginning of life is messy, and the end of life is messy. The middle is neat and clean. So, can you cope with a little mess?”
Hahaha! The middle is pretty messy too. That’s part of what makes the whole thing worthwhile! :>)

]]> By: Jobber http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-157166 Jobber Wed, 16 Nov 2005 16:52:58 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-157166 Ala Brachos, Simcha, u should have much nachas from the little one. It sounds like u already are. I think it is about maturity this issue. U can't force someone to be mature. U can ask them to be open minded that is all. Ala Brachos, Simcha, u should have much nachas from the little one. It sounds like u already are.

I think it is about maturity this issue. U can’t force someone to be mature.

U can ask them to be open minded that is all.

]]> By: Simcha http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-157095 Simcha Wed, 16 Nov 2005 01:13:10 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-157095 I am presently expecting my first child. I used to feel like I would never want kids but now I can't wait to have a lot of them. Give yourself time and the zechus to find the right partner and you will want them also. Being pregnant and feeling the little kicks inside me is one of the coolest things in the world. I talk to my baby all the time and I know she can hear me from the inside which no other person in the world can do except your children. I am presently expecting my first child. I used to feel like I would never want kids but now I can’t wait to have a lot of them. Give yourself time and the zechus to find the right partner and you will want them also. Being pregnant and feeling the little kicks inside me is one of the coolest things in the world. I talk to my baby all the time and I know she can hear me from the inside which no other person in the world can do except your children.

]]> By: Jewish Mother http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-157077 Jewish Mother Tue, 15 Nov 2005 21:16:38 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-157077 There is so much negativity inside this can of worms - harshness, sarcasm, panic, fury, and scorn, that it is a miracle that there is one single child, one, born to the North American Jews in a year's time. Present company is of course respected. It is just that these are characteristic attitudes of our community. Just how reasonable are these ideas? Should people examine their assumptions? Or even fight for their rights, if not inconvenient or expensive? It's only your happiness at stake if you miss the target. I am fine. There is so much negativity inside this can of worms – harshness, sarcasm, panic, fury, and scorn, that it is a miracle that there is one single child, one, born to the North American Jews in a year’s time.

Present company is of course respected. It is just that these are characteristic attitudes of our community. Just how reasonable are these ideas?

Should people examine their assumptions? Or even fight for their rights, if not inconvenient or expensive? It’s only your happiness at stake if you miss the target. I am fine.

]]> By: Jewish Mother http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-157075 Jewish Mother Tue, 15 Nov 2005 21:07:48 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-157075 Should childbearing be safe, legal and rare? Should childbearing be safe, legal and rare?

]]> By: Jim R http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-156992 Jim R Tue, 15 Nov 2005 11:22:35 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-156992 Also, the ones who can't spell Esther. Stupid gentiles. Also, the ones who can’t spell Esther. Stupid gentiles.

]]> By: Jim R http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-156991 Jim R Tue, 15 Nov 2005 11:20:53 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-156991 You are so intelligent and articulate Ester, I bet you intimidate the hell out of many genetically macho male mammals. The kind you wouldn't want anyway. :) You are so intelligent and articulate Ester, I bet you intimidate the hell out of many genetically macho male mammals. The kind you wouldn’t want anyway. :)

]]> By: Jewish Mother http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-156908 Jewish Mother Mon, 14 Nov 2005 21:34:08 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-156908 The quite-young are not buying. They have pleeeenty of time. (In all fairness, both are in their early twenties; they are still bambini. ) The decidely mature, except for Jobber and me, have seen it work, and therefore aren't worried. Last-minute worked for them, so it's fine for everybody. (Never mind not everyone gets that last-minute luck. It worked for them.) The not-married, highly beautiful, brilliant unmarried woman, Esther,is not sure how to navigate between sorrow and the political correctness. The last thing she needs is to be called Republican or right-wing. He jests at scars that never felt a wound. Those who still have pleeenty of time, and those who got theirs, should be a little quiet around Esther. IMHO The quite-young are not buying. They have pleeeenty of time. (In all fairness, both are in their early twenties; they are still bambini. )

The decidely mature, except for Jobber and me, have seen it work, and therefore aren’t worried. Last-minute worked for them, so it’s fine for everybody. (Never mind not everyone gets that last-minute luck. It worked for them.)

The not-married, highly beautiful, brilliant unmarried woman, Esther,is not sure how to navigate between sorrow and the political correctness. The last thing she needs is to be called Republican or right-wing.

He jests at scars that never felt a wound.

Those who still have pleeenty of time, and those who got theirs, should be a little quiet around Esther.

IMHO

]]> By: esther http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-156880 esther Mon, 14 Nov 2005 18:32:49 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-156880 Anecdotally, the existence of such men who take 34-year-olds out over and over again yet fail to marry them is an urban legend. They don't date endlessly, they date not at all. Or only once. Anecdotally, the existence of such men who take 34-year-olds out over and over again yet fail to marry them is an urban legend. They don’t date endlessly, they date not at all. Or only once.

]]> By: ofri http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-156875 ofri Mon, 14 Nov 2005 17:28:40 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-156875 this is the post that just wouldn't die. this is the post that just wouldn’t die.

]]> By: michael http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-156871 michael Mon, 14 Nov 2005 17:10:17 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-156871 Hear that, Layaleh? Better stop all that useless work you're doing to buy food and pay for your apartment and all that stupid stuff, and go ahead and get knocked up, or else you'll wind up at 34 with a man who takes you out again and again and doesn't marry you until, apparently, menopause. It could happen to yoouuuu... Hear that, Layaleh? Better stop all that useless work you’re doing to buy food and pay for your apartment and all that stupid stuff, and go ahead and get knocked up, or else you’ll wind up at 34 with a man who takes you out again and again and doesn’t marry you until, apparently, menopause.

It could happen to yoouuuu…

]]> By: Jewish Mother http://www.jewlicious.com/2005/11/fricken-babies/#comment-156869 Jewish Mother Mon, 14 Nov 2005 16:58:45 +0000 http://www.jewlicious.com/?p=1499#comment-156869 Jobber's post is tough to read, as he does not believe in paragraphs, but it contains much that is true. I still hear the deafening silence from the childless. Where is their rage? When people make decisions, they have to factor in all the things that are possible. Missing the boat is possible. So, it has to be evaluated. How terrible would that be? A minor annoyance or a crushing horror? We have to be clear about all the scenarios and their consequences. Jobber’s post is tough to read, as he does not believe in paragraphs, but it contains much that is true.

I still hear the deafening silence from the childless. Where is their rage?

When people make decisions, they have to factor in all the things that are possible. Missing the boat is possible. So, it has to be evaluated. How terrible would that be? A minor annoyance or a crushing horror? We have to be clear about all the scenarios and their consequences.

]]>