Yo, Gwyneth Paltrow Raps!

g-dawg represent yoWell, not exactly. But Gwyneth did join Jay-Z on stage at Mr. Beyonce’s concert in London at the Royal Albert Hall, singing background vocals (aack! kol isha!) for “Song Cry.”

I wasn’t there, having never been to London, but everyone’s favorite scion of the Paltrovich rabbinical dynasty apparently royally rocked the Jay-Z-zizzle outta the mic, yo. And if you read this post on EW’s PopWatch, you might be momentarily fooled into thinking that G-dawg rocked some freestyle rap action during “Crazy in Love,” as the blog has the (fake) “complete lyrics” including this gem of a paragraph:

Roll down the red carpet
Coldplay, bring ya whole set
Gwyneth’s got the range! Her rivals got the mange!
They can’t figure her out, they like, ”Her accent is insane!”
Yes sir, I’m known to hang with Madonna
My Mom’s got two Emmys, and I’ve got an Oscah

The Hall has a long and esteemed history, which until Mr. Z’s appearance, had not included hip-hop. In any case, the Beatles would be happy. Because now they know how many hos (and pimps and bitches) it takes to fill the Albert Hall…

3 total comments on this postSubmit yours
  1. many hos (and pimps and bitches) it takes to fill the Albert Hall…

    Har-har, Queen Esther. :-p

  2. Thanks, Oyster. Although you and I are both too young to understand that joke. Still, you’re the only one to comment, so yasher koach.

  3. right… because Sgt. Pepper’s is such an obscure, forgotten, and underrated album. there’s not much to say in response, but if it makes you feel better i definitely giggled on the inside when i read it. i suspect plenty of people would have gotten it even without the in-built explanation.

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I write lots. In many different places. I don't cross-post everything that I write--I figure if people want to find me, they'll do it themselves via Google, follow the links, or they'll ask me, "Hey, Esther...where you at these days?" ...