Eilat/Sinai border – photo by Phoebe while on the recent birthright israel/Jewlicious trip.

Hash, Whores, Hamas and You.
Two of the victims of the Eilat Suicide bombings, Emil Almaliakh (32) and Michael Ben-Sa’adon (27) were buried yesterday and a third, Israel Samolia (26) is going to be buried in Miami where his family lives. Despite assertions by Egyptian spokesmen that it was impossible that the suicide bomber, Gaza Strip resident Muhammed Faisal al-Saksak entered Eilat from Egypt, it seems to be that that is in fact the case.

But how did this happen exactly? All indications are that Saksak was somewhat of a dolt – not exactly prime-quality, Grade A suicide bomber material. First of all members of his family, including his proud Mom (Mrs. Saksak?), and some of his acquaintances knew that he was planning on carrying out an attack because he told them. Ordinarily, suicide bombers intent on carrying out their missions keep their mouths shut. When Saksak entered Israel, he was wearing a large red coat. Such a coat is great when traveling across the Sinai desert, because it gets really cold at night, but in Eilat it makes you really stand out. After 7 months of training, you’d think Saksak’s handlers would advise him to ditch the coat, especially since the bomb was in his backpack and not on a suicide belt. You’d also think that they’d teach Saksak some rudimentary Hebrew or Geography – when asked by the cab driver who picked him up where he wanted to go, Saksak mostly grunted and then said “Haifa.” No one picks up a cab in Eilat, Israel’s southernmost city, to go to Haifa located in Israel’s north.

So how did such a complete moron make it across the harsh Sinai terrain and manage to cross the border into Israel undetected? Probably in much the same way illegal immigrants and drug smugglers do it – with the aid of local Bedouins who know the area like the back of their hands.

The Bedouins in question are not some secret and shady organization – they are in all likelihood the Azazma Tribe – a well known and much feared criminal organization who live on both sides of the Israel/Egyptian border. What makes these criminals unusual is that they will work for anyone who pays them. Fighting between Israeli criminal organizations, like the feud between the Abergils and the Abutbuls, has no effect on their operations and no criminal with any common sense crosses the fierce Azazma Tribe. Their specialty is smuggling anything across the border into Israel. These operations include the movement of illegal immigrants, sex trade trade workers, cigarettes, consumer goods, weapons and drugs. There is every reason to believe that they also provide assistance to terrorists, both in the West Bank and Gaza – as long as they pay their bills in full and on time.

So next time you and your buddies go off to Tel Aviv for a special massage with a happy ending, or next time you light up your darker variety of North African hashish (now that Lebanese Blond is no longer available), keep in mind that your are supporting an organization that aids and abets terrorists. It’s all fine and good to boycott Hezballah Hash from Lebanon when it’s already unavailable – but will conscientious hash smokers now refrain from all hashish? Will suburban housewives in Israel stop hiring illegal domestic help? Will Israeli men refrain from availing themselves of sex-slave prostitutes? Not any time soon I don’t think.

Thus as we in Israel try to establish who was responsible for the piguah in Eilat, was it Islamic Jihad? Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigade? Hamas? – we ought to also add to that list of suspects – the people and the state of Israel who by active involvement or passive acquiescence, facilitate criminal activities that serve only to encourage the terrorism in our midst.

This year, Jewish Earth Day falls on Friday Night. I have adapted this Tu B’Shvat seder over the last four years, and this one is very special and made for Shabbat. I hope this enhances your seder and meal. Note of caution: The fourth cup is written down before the main meal.

Kabbalist’s Feast: Tu B’Shvat Shabbat Seder 2007 Edition

A list of the news briefs from CAIR (Council on American Islamic Relations) yesterday:

MN: Open House Lifts Veil of Mystery at Islamic Center
Advocates Hopeful Congress Will Ban Racial Profiling
NC: After ‘Hate-Crime’ Melee, Calm Eludes School
CA: Faithful Make Journey to Mecca
Israel ‘Broke US Arms Deal Terms’
Israel to Buy US Bomb Kits for $100 M
CA: Shots Fired at Islamic Center
Islam-Basher to Speak in Michigan
NY/NJ: Imam Moves from City Mosque to Suburbia
Canadian Village Acts on Anti-Muslim Stereotypes
Il est interdit de lapider les femmes!
ME: Feds Won’t Charge Man Who Rolled Pig’s Head Into Mosque
CA: Mosques Enlisted to Help Fight Breast Cancer
U.S. Muslims’ Beliefs Vary Like Other Believers
South African Muslims Seek ‘Travel Treaty’ with US

Here’s a list of their press releases:

Video: CAIR Director Comments on Arar Settlement
U.S. Muslims Call Al-Arian Imprisonment ‘Double Jeopardy’
Slurs Used During Assault on Florida Muslim

No wonder their “we hate and condemn terror line” falls so flat. No, Muffti isn’t surprised. All is similarly silent at the Muslim Public Affairs Council.

It’s Oscar season, which means the spotlight is on movies. But while nominated films get plenty of attention and GoogleNews reports from Sundance, we wanted to spotlight some films and festivals that have escaped Oscar’s notice.

Tonight I went to see future Jewlicious speaker Shahar Sorek in the new film, “King of Beggars,” a movie which has been invoking critical comparison to “Braveheart,” but, as everyone says, “without Mel Gibson.” But the film is certainly more than that, portraying themes of national pride, Jewish identity, the right to fight back, the tension between secular and religious identity, the stratification of Jews into camps of universalists and particularists etc. But what really struck me was the language, which was, as two Israelis explained it later, the kind of Hebrew that Eliezer Ben Yehuda’s daughter would have spoken. In other words, the words were archaic and in parts, biblical, providing the Israeli actors with the equivalent of Shakespearean language and diction to portray the story. Truly one of the most unique Israeli films I’ve ever seen.

But now, I want more. And the bad news is that the NY Jewish Film Festival ended Thursday, January 25. Austin’s festival ended the 26th. And Washington, DC isn’t scheduled for a film festival until November and December of 2007. (Although the DC JCC does offer arts programming thoughout the year, including a special event for Black History Month on February 11th.) I’m a little limited in my travel budget. But if domestic travel’s not off your menu of options, perhaps you should let Jewish film festivals guide your vacation plans.

In Tucson, the festival started Jan 14 and runs to February 25. Other February choices, providing a range of film offerings and climates, include San Diego from February 8-18, the Triad Jewish Film Festival (begins in Greensboro, NC on February 15) or Greater Phoenix from February 17-22.

In March, crash University of Wisconsin Hillel’s Israeli Film Festival (March 5-14)–bring your own cheese. Or take your ketchup and head to Pittsburgh for the Jewish-Israeli film festival March 8-25. April (12-22) sees the National Center for Jewish Film at Brandeis hosting its festival, and the LA Jewish Film Festival rolls into the city of Angels April 21-26.

May’s not a bad time to be in Canada (5-13) for the Toronto Jewish Film Festival. And in June, you can hit North Carolina’s Triangle Jewish Film Festival (June 10) or meet me in St. Louis from June 24-28.

But if you can hold out, you can do a tri-city tour with the Israel Film Festival, now celebrating their 22nd year: March 17-22 in LA; April 26-May 3 in Miami; and June 6-21 in NYC. (For more information as it’s posted, check out the website.)

And if it’s festival headliners you’re looking for, you can check out 51 Birch Street:

“Both unexpectedly funny and heartbreaking, 51 Birch Street is the first-person account of Block’s unpredictable journey through a whirlwind of dramatic life-changing events: the death of his mother, the uncovering of decades of family secrets, and the ensuing reconciliation with his father. What begins as his own intimate, autobiographical story, soon evolves into a broader meditation on the universal themes of love, marriage, fidelity and the mystery of family.”

(Screenings are already scheduled in several cities; click the link for a list of locations.)

Or if you’d like to pursue the Holy Grail of Israeli movie screenings, head to Miami in March for the Miami International Film Festival (March 2-11), which features the US premiere of the elusive, and critically and popularly acclaimed “Someone to Run With,” the film adaptation of the David Grossman novel of the same name.

If we’ve missed your local festival, feel free to leave us a comment with the dates or a website. And for a long list of Jewish film festivals and contact info (not all have 2007 dates listed), see the National Foundation for Jewish Culture’s site.

We’ll see you at the movies!

Eilat, known for its babes, beaches and cheesy decor, was the location of a suicide bombing, apparently engineered by Islamic Jihad and Al-Aqsa Martyr’s Brigades. The bomber, 21 year old ex-Gazan Mohammed Saqsaq, was apparently driven into town by a friendly resident. Saqsaq ended his and 2 other people’s lives in a bakery, apparently as a result of being reported to the police for suspicious behavior.

What Muffti found odd and terrifying about the news report was the following line:

Islamic Jihad said the attack was meant to help bring an end to weeks of Hamas-Fatah infighting…We held back on operations for a while and gave the stage to Fatah and Hamas to conduct unity government discussions. We saw that it has not achieved anything, so we have reverted to martyrdom operations.”

It doesn’t seem to have worked: Hamas stuck to their usual guns, that the attack was a ‘natural response’ to occupation. Fatah paid lip service to their most recent party line:

We are against any operation that targets civilians, Israelis or Palestinians

Sounds nice, doesn’t it? And we were doing so well: the last, ahem, martyrdom operation in Israel happened last April.

With so many crucial differences in politics, religion, culture, history, national narrative, etc., it seems that finding peace in the Middle East is an impossible task. What could possibly bring the masses together?

Well, two of my friends in Tel Aviv have stumbled upon the answer. Men. The hot, olive skinned, strong men of the Middle East and our appreciation for them. They find that “these men are so trim and hot and sexy that the Middle East cannot afford to lose even a few of them.”

From their Mission Statement:

Mideast Piece aims to unite people around the world through shared adoration of that most sacred and bronzed of species, the Middle Eastern man. Whether Muslim, Jewish, Christian or Druze, these desert men are more valuable than any Saudi oil well.

As greater appreciation for the Middle Eastern male develops, we are confident the international community will intervene to preserve and protect this endangered species from destroying itself (and, on occasion, others). There are too many unattractive, pale people on Earth for the world not to make the entire Middle East a natural reserve of hot men, complete with admission fee, monorail, and – of course – petting zoos.

Ultimately, the blog will include writers from several regional countries, making it the only pan-Middle Eastern blog focusing on gay men, though I’ve been assured women are also welcome to enjoy the photo collection.

Larry Mark just keep cranking them out! This is the fifth in a short series of guest posts on the Jewish aspects of The Sundance Film Festival.

Park City, Utah is a town of 7,300 residents, five percent of whom, anecdotally, are licensed real estate agents. Each January, the town’s population grows six-fold, as 45,000 cinema-philes visit for the Sundance Film Festival.

Two of those visitors this year were nice Jewish men who traveled near and far, borrowed funds, and maximized their credit card balances to make their documentaries.

Berkeley-raised Amir Bar-Lev had directed “FIGHTER,” an award winning documentary about two Holocaust survivors, and was looking around for a new project in 2004. A Brown magna cum laude graduate who majored in film and comparative mysticism, he happened upon a story about a four year old artist who caused a sensation by selling her paintings for tens of thousands of dollars. It was then that he found his next subject: the idea of truth in contemporary abstract art. But MY KID COULD PAINT THAT evolved into a much broader documentary.

Elizabeth Cohen, the soul of his film, is a reporter for the Binghamton Press and Sun-Bulletin, and first happened on the story of Marla Olmstead, an upstate New York four year old with two working parents, whose abstract paintings were becoming a sensation in Binghamton.

Amir Bar-Lev’s documentary deftly shows how the news-cycle pounced on this one newspaper story. After the account’s appearance in The New York Times, international radio, newspaper, and television producers picked up the story on this potential child prodigy. As the film progresses, Marla and her family get flown to Manhattan and appear on various daytime talk shows.

Initially, Bar-Lev traveled to Binghamton NY, and did not plan to profile the Olmstead family at all in his digital meditation on modern art and subjectivity, and the obsession people have with child prodigies. But after months of filming, a “60 Minutes” episode accused the Olmstead family of perpetrating a hoax. This forced a change in his focus.

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One of the google searches leading strangers to our site is the phrase “who wrote the bible.” It brings up this fine old post by a much younger Grandmuffti and includes the first comment here by Rav Shmuel who knocked everybody’s socks off when he performed at Jewlicious 2.0. Since then, he’s put out a new CD, and I have to say that other than his native American song, which I happen to dislike, the rest of his music and lyrics are, uh, whatever the new hip word is for cool and fab.

Middle America just doesn’t “get” kashrut. Former professional wrestling superstar Hulk Hogan and his family appear in a reality TV show. In this video clip, the Hulkster and his wife have just moved to a very Jewish and very frum neighborhood in Miami. When they go to visit the neighbors with fresh baked cookies, they discover that no one can eat them because the cookies are not kosher. Afterwards they start planning a party where they will invite all their neighbors and serve them kosher food… but first they need to figure out what that means. Lessons learnt? Bananas are kosher. Men and women shaking hands? Not so kosher. Grilling kosher and unkosher meat together on a grill that hasn’t been dipped in a mikva, even if it’s new?

Geez. What the hell do you think? Aw just watch the video. It’s really funny…

OK, well, not funny ha! ha! More like funny… ha. But still, props to the Hulkster for being so considerate and chill. For an added bonus, read some of the moronic comments from some of the YouTubers.

Ezra Bookstein, Emmy award winning cinematographer & filmmaker, has won a Gold Medal at this year’s Park City Music Film Festival, for his film The Rich Have Their Own Photographers (2006), a documentary about the life and work of photographer Milton Rogovin.

This is a deeply inspirational film about the life and artwork of America’s premiere social documentary photographer alive today. After being persecuted for being a communist in 1957, Milton Rogovin refused to be silenced. He began photographing poor, disenfranchised and working class communities in Bufffalo, NY and then around the World. Now 96, his entire collection is housed by the Library of Congress.

The Park City Film Music Festival is a new independent film festival, presenting film music competition for both INDIE and studio-sponsored films, a performance showcase for composers with seminars for composers, musicians, songwriters and groups.

Rabbi Yonah, Ezra’s brother, and is shepping a lot of naches.

Talks between Fatah and Hamas fell apart after a Hamas militant died on Thursday from a car bomb. Hamas claimed it was a Fatah orchestrated assassination and Fatah claimed it was a work accident – caused while the Hamas man was preparing a bomb. Since then 24 Palestinians have been killed in internecine fighting. Amongst the dead, 2 children, one aged 2 and one aged 6. Over 50 people on both sides have been kidnapped.

Last week, PA security officers defused bombs meant to assassinate PA President Mahmoud Abbas as he was headed to a meeting with Palestinian Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh to discuss the establishment of a national unity government. Hamas was blamed for the assassination attempt. This was only reported today as “Fatah officials preferred to keep the incident a secret and not publish it, in a bid to discourage additional attempts to assassinate Abbas.”

It seems that the prospects for the establishment of a national unity government are now dim and Abbas is threatening to call elections in as little as three weeks. Of course at a speech at the World Economic Forum in Davos, perhaps in an attempt to foster some kind of national unity, Abbas blamed Israel for everything.

Of course.

*sigh*

This is the fourth in a short series by Larry Mark.

Amid the “normal” Sundance offerings, that include a documentary on horses having intimate sexual relations with men (ZOO), and a biting teen horror comedy on a woman (played by Jess Weixler) who discovers that her vagina has defensive teeth, or the fabled vagina dentata (Mitchell Lichtenstein’s TEETH), and plotting revenge against your wife’s lover (DRIVING WITH MY WIFE’S LOVER), there was a film that was oriented towards the Bible.

Daniel Karslake’s FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO does for Christians what Sandi Dubowski’s TREMBLING BEFORE G-D did for observant Jews. FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO is a documentary about various conservative Christians in the United States who must try to reconcile their beliefs on what their Bibles say and homosexuality.

Karslake’s documentary follows five families, each from different Christian denominations, and recounts their journeys and their challenges to stay in the church and remain devout believers. One of the families is that of Richard Gephardt, a U.S. Congressman and former U.S. Presidential candidate.

In addition to exploring the way religious conservative leaders and ministers have misled their congregations into believing that the Bible forbids homosexuality and how this misinterpretation stigmatizes gays and lesbians, Daniel Karslake includes interviews with various members of the clergy, including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Dr. Paula Caplan, Reverend Mel White, Rabbi Steven Greenberg, and Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer.

Karslake, Dubowski, Rabbi Greenberg, and Reverend White, were four members of a larger panel that addressed the issue of “Gays, Faith and Film” at Sundance’s Queer Lounge.

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Evening descends on the desert. Taken near King Solomons mines in Timna Park, the Negev desert. This is a beatiful area where the borders of Jordan, Israel and Egypt all come close together. You can stand on the mountain and see all three countries.

Shabbat shalom…

Parsha Bo spontaneous reflections

It’s all about the matzah. Free myself from Egyptian slavery and awaken my inner freedom. Great days await you, out there in the desert. It’s frightening all this potential. After so many miracles and death and devastation, what will happen to us? to me? Where will I be when the chips fall, when the dust clears, when the clouds part. Will I be standing on the right side of the Nile?

It’s all about the Passover offering, the Angel of Death, the Fast of the Firstborn, the Hillel Sandwich, the four questions, the Cup of Elijah, the plagues, telling it over like it was, one generation at a time. How many will hear the story from me? Is my table full of telling the story or is my table stuck in Egypt?

It’s all about the horse radish, the hot sauce, the jalapeno peppers, the pain, the salt in my wounds. If slavery is so bitter how come this is my favorite part? I complain if it’s not hot enough, if it doesn’t burn enough, if my eyes aren’t watering well then it’s just not Passover.

It’s all about the Haggadah, the Maxwell house, revised double standard new classic edition that sits unused for generations (thank GOD) in favor of the popular ones with nice drawings and politically nice speech and the Egyptians don’t drowned they just cycle through the karma or is it the darma, and God is a She and Pharaoh is my own neurosis, and Moshe is my homeboy, and Never Again, and Never Forget, and Darfur is burning.

It’s all about Passover. I just wouldn’t be a Jew without it.

Let my people go.

Hashem, it’s time. Enough of this exile.

Let my people go.

Mirembe Kawomera Cooperative was formed in 2004 and is made up of 400 farmers and their families. It is one of six smaller co-ops under the larger Gumutindo Cooperative which brings together over 2,400 Ugandan farmers. This cooperative of Jews, Muslims, and Christians is a rare partnership. Uganda’s history of religious and tribal divides is put in the past by this cooperative’s emphasis on respect and diversity.

Mirembe Kawomera Cooperative was created by JJ Keki, an Abayudaya Jew and the current co-op leader. To create the cooperative, Mr. Keki traveled on foot, knocking on each of his neighbor’s doors, asking Jews, Muslims, and Christians to put aside their differences and join him to create an extraordinary partnership. Keki was assisted by Kulanu, a U.S.-based NGO and long-time supporter of the Abayudaya (”Jewish people” in Luganda).

Joining JJ Keki will be Ben Corey-Moran, Thanksgiving Coffee’s Aide to Coffee Development, and Holly Moskowitz, Project Director, will also be joining us for the entire weekend.

As reported by the Boston Globe after his speech earlier this week at Brandeis University:

In response to a question, Carter apologized for a sentence in his book that he acknowledged seemed to justify terrorism by saying that suicide bombings should end when Israel accepts the goals of the road map to peace with Palestinians… “That sentence was worded in a completely improper and stupid way,” Carter said. “I’ve written my publishers to change that sentence immediately in future editions of the book. I apologize to you personally and to everyone here.”

Presumably, that paragraph was edited by Carter’s brother Billy, founder of Billy Beer and former agent of the Libyan government. Oh wait… that’s not funny anymore. Billy died in 1988. Shoot, sorry Peanut man.

Anyhow, afterwards, Harvard Professor Alan Dershowitz gave a critique of both Carter’s speech and his best-selling book:

“He makes it sound so simple,” said Dershowitz. “You just give back the land, and peace will follow. Tell that to the residents of Sderot!” … Dershowitz slammed Carter for omitting any mention that this plan also calls for the return of Palestinian refugees to Israel — a return that, if fully implemented, would turn Jews into a minority in Israel. He failed to note Saudi hints that a full refugee return might not be required, and that the plan does not do so… “I think he’s become an advocate for the maximalist Palestinian view,” Dershowitz said.

In the meantime, CAMERA has published a “comprehensive” list of errors and omissions found in Carter’s book. This critique is worth a read too. Since Carter’s Brandeis speech, the Jimmy Carter Library and Museum released notes showing that Carter once urged Pope John Paul II to mention Israel in a speech (this was a big deal at the time apparently. See? He’s not so bad!). Also in the news is an allegation by Monroe Freedman, a law professor at Hofstra University and a former member of the Holocaust Memorial Council that Carter once noted that there were “too many Jews” involved in the Council (See? Carter was an asshole!).

Are we bored yet?

Lawyers representing Rabbi Yehuda Rosenbaum of KOF-K Kosher Certification, a New Jersey company that certifies the Kashrut of food products was sent to the principals of Tight Fit. The letter was occasioned by the upcoming release of a made-in-Israel porn flick called Assraelis that features the KOF-K logo on the packaging. TMZ, the site that broke the story reported that

Oren Cohen, the owner of Tight Fit, finds the action “funny,” but will modify the cover art before the film’s release next week — to satisfy what he calls the “very nice” rabbis.

And indeed the Assraelis Web site shows, amongst other things, packaging where the Kosher logo has been replaced by the slogan “Shot in Israel – 100% Authentic.” Although the site promises “Yiddish Erotica,” the film was shot in Hebrew with English subtitles. And no… it does not feature Israelis acting like asses, you know, pushing in line, jostling for produce at the shuk, obbressing innocent Balestinians etc.

Hat tip to Jewlicious reader Debbie, who is obviously a connoisseur in these matters.

Much of the point of events geared at young American Jews– “young” loosely defined as 14 to menopause– is the production of Jewish babies. Such a goal, however worthy one considers Jewish continuity, can be a bit of a turn-off to those Jews wishing to learn about some aspect of Judaism (the Hebrew language, Jewish history, Israeli politics, etc.) but not, for whatever reasons, looking. Check out a 92nd Street Y or JCC catalog, and you will soon understand that “Jewish events” are “Jewish singles’ events,” not in the sense that people meet one another all over the place, but in a very specific, planned, manner. Jewish talks and classes are often geared towards dating and marriage, or, at the very least, some kind of wallowing in singledom.

Birthright Israel is no exception: as Oranim head honcho Momo Lifshitz makes abundantly clear, “It’s all about the love.” Not the love that spontaneously occurs between two people who just happen to have met on the subway, at a party, or even on Jdate or Birthright; not the forbidden love of someone of the “wrong” sex or ethnicity; but the highly-encouraged, stamped-kosher love of a boy and a girl who, after hearing Momo’s charismatic speech, seeking out some form of pseudoparental approval (many of our actual parents do, in fact, just want us to be happy), and duly hook up. After endless hours of travel, when the newly-arrived Oranim kids sat hungry and exhausted in an auditorium, Momo criticized a group of us for sitting “girl, girl, girl, girl,” rather than “girl, boy, girl, boy.” We were, in other words, instructed not to waste any time. Momo also let us know that any couple who marries after meeting on one of these trips will receive a free honeymoon in Israel. A friend of mine at NYU said she’d been discussing my trip with some people while I was away, and that they’d been joking that we get some kind of material incentives to marry or reproduce. She was surprised to learn that this is the truth.

After Momo’s initial words, what followed were, interspersed with an otherwise exciting (certainly for those of us long-obsessed with Zionism) and educational trip through Israel, various attempts at encouraging American Jewish undergrads to couple off in scenery familiar to them. At club night events in both Tel Aviv and Eilat, the Oranim groups interacted with few Israelis, had little sense of being in Israel as opposed to, say, Naperville, Illinois, wore North Face, striped-button-down-shirts, or stiletto-designer jeans combos seen everywhere in the US, and basically recreated American frat parties, except that whichever babies or STDs resulted would be Jewish babies or STDs, goddamn it!

The problem with Birthright (or at least the version I experienced) as it currently exists is the level of desperation. One can’t help but wonder, if Israel’s such a great country, then why do people have to pay us to go visit it? If Jewish women are so beautiful, as Momo keeps insisting, then why do Jewish men have to be told to notice this? As I see it, Israel’s existence is incredible, much of Israel itself is gorgeous, Jews are no better- or worse-looking than any other group of people on the planet, while Israelis are, arguably, better-looking than others, thanks to some combination of salad-consumption, sun, and time in the IDF. But constant, in-your-face nagging that you’d better like Israel, that you better not fall to the temptation of non-Jews (implication being, non-Jews are more attractive but it’s a sacrifice we must make…), is off-putting enough to make those who previously had no feelings either way run off to become (as did George Costanza, much to his mother’s chagrin) Latvian Orthodox.

So what’s the alternative?

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[When in doubt, always sing my post titles.]

I can’t tell you the number of times I’m in downtown Manhattan with some kosher people looking for a little post-PresenTense staff meeting nosh. But downtown is confusing…my nice organized Upper West Side grid is suddenly gone, replaced by extra avenues that never existed before and with Broadway, clearly a west side thoroughfare, all of a sudden crossing over to the east side of town. I mean, imagine the chaos if at an Orthodox shul, I suddenly decided to cross over to the other side of the mechitzah?

But I digress.

Now all kosher New Yorkers need is text. Thanks to Kosher-ny.com, text an address, a cross-section or partial restaurant name to eat@kosher-ny.com and within seconds, you’ll get a response. Yeah, it’s helpful, but what does it cost? “While the service is free, you may incur charges from your cell phone service provider for incoming and outgoing messages. Check with your service provider for details.”

Hekhshers are abbreviated (list of abbreviations and other info here for your convenience).

(Kippah tip to KosherToday)

Last summer, Israel was inundated with French people. Whether they were escaping anti-Semitism back home, visiting family or just enjoying the beaches and the bargains afforded by the strong Euro, one thing was clear: the French? They’re not like you and me. This clip is in Hebrew and French and if you speak neither language you’ll just have to rely on the visuals for a laugh. Here’s a helpful hint… the guy in the Speedo? He’s a French Jew from Marseilles.

Thanks to Ahuvah for directing me to this Eretz Nehederet (It’s a Wonderful Country – an Israeli comedy show) clip.

One of our colleagues, a great guy who does tons for the Jewish people, has a father who will be undergoing surgery soon. As tomorrow is Thursday, if you can do a misheberach for David ben Miriam, that would be awesome. We wish him a successful surgery and a speedy recovery!

One of the little controversies getting a lot of press in Israel lately is segregated bus lines. No, they don’t make the Ethiopians sit separately. Increasingly, Egged bus lines which serve a number of predominately Haredi neighborhoods are allowing the passengers to separate the sexes by having men sit in the front and women sit in the back. These buses are designated “kosher”, but religious authorities declined to answer how exactly they are cooked.

While there is no Halacha to the best of my knowledge that says women can’t sit next to, opposite, or in front of men on a bus, Egged, Israel’s public bus line has nonetheless acquiesced to the vocal (and male) members of the communities.

You may have heard about the now infamous case of Miriam Shear, a 50 year old religious American immigrant to Israel, who was brutally beaten on November 24 for refusing to move to the back of the bus, on a line that was not even officially designated as “mehadrin.” Read the account in her own words here.

Other women have reported being threatened, harassed and intimidated for exercising their right to sit where they want. They are public buses, after all.

Well, say the women, enough is enough. According to YNet, a group of women, “among them haredi author Naomi Ragen, will file a petition with Israel’s High Court, claiming that such segregation is illegal and humiliating. “We’re sick of sitting in the back of haredi buses. We prefer to sit up front,” they wrote.”

While I respect the Haredi population’s right to live by the motto of the Offspring song “you’ve gotta keep em separated” the execution of these bus lines was poorly, poorly done. Public buses should not be used. You want “kosher” bus lines, start your own private company which caters to your population. Additionally, the buses were poorly identified, (women report not always knowing if they were getting on to a segregated bus or not) and enforcement of this so called rule was at the hands fellow bus passengers.

I’m really hoping the petition effects real change, and hoping, perhaps in vain, that all the negative publicity Haredim have been under will wake a few rabbis and leaders up to the need for emphasizing proper behavior towards women.

This is the fourth in a short series by Larry Mark

NANKING, a documentary by Bill Guttentag and Dan Sturman about the Japanese atrocities in Nanking, China prior to World War II, had its world premiere at Sundance this past weekend.

I came away from this film wanting it to be shown in every American and Japanese school and home.

While most Jews are familiar with the Nazi Holocaust and its atrocities, and some have an inkling of the German Jews who found refuge from Hitler in Shanghai, few know about the Japanese destruction of Nanking (now called Nanjing) in 1937 and 1938, and the role of two dozen Americans and a German Nazi in the saving of over 200,000 Chinese lives.

NANKING: EVEN IN THE DARKEST OF TIMES, THERE IS LIGHT shows the power of documentary filmmaking. The film details how the Japanese subjected the temporary capital of China, Nanking, to months of aerial bombings, followed by a ground assault that left the city in ruins.

A small group of Westerners banded together to create a Safety Zone, where 200,000 Chinese found refuge from the Japanese.

The story is told with recollections by actual Chinese survivors, by Japanese soldiers who are still alive, and by readings from the letters and diaries of eyewitnesses. These readings feature Woody Harrelson and Mariel Hemingway.

Over the course of less than 2 months, Japanese soldiers raped approximately 20,000 women, and then usually stabbed them to death when they were finished; and murdered 200,000 of Nanking’s Chinese residents. A group of 22 Americans and Europeans however, were able to save 200,000. One of the saviors, a devoted Nazi, later returned to Germany, where he was ostracized and forced into poverty.

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Jewlicious Apparel has two new apparel related announcements for all you lovers of cool Jewish themed t-shirts. First of all cafepress announced a Valentine’s Day special – Free shipping on orders of $50 or more if you live in the US up until Feb. 14, 2007 – just add the following code at checkout: VDAYSHIP. I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day but a bargain is a bargain… so get shopping!

A new addition to our collection, due to popular demand, is the Palestine is for Lovers – Gay Edition collection. Perfect for when you next visit Palestine to participate in the world famous Gaza City Gay Pride Parade or party it up in the many gay clubs and cafes in Ramallah.

Not. Actually it seems like the impending arrival of Valentine’s Day is as good a time as any to remind you all of the continued plight of gay Palestinians. I don’t actually expect we’ll sell a whole lot of these shirts, but I do expect to at least shed some light on the situation. Palestinian homosexuals continue to be subject to arrest, torture, rape and murder, both at the hands of their families and the local authorities. International human rights groups operating in the West Bank and Gaza as well as various advocacy organizations around the world continue to ignore this problem. The only relief for Palestinians is escape to Israel, the only country in the Middle East where gays receive a certain measure of freedom and legal protection. Feel free to read these recent/informative articles about the situation. Uh… happy Valentine’s Day…

Oh good grief…