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Hitler and Crocs

Hitler is a DumbassFacebook has groups for every possible interest. Like for instance, do you hate Crocs? You know those ridiculous multi-colored plastic shoes that are sooooo comfortable but look totally ridiculous? Well, there’s a group for you! Called “I Dont care How Comfortable Crocs Are, You Look Like A Dumbass” (link is only visible if you have a Facebook account) it has 318,354 members, 37,393 wall posts and 1063 photos. One of them shows Hitler wearing Crocs. And the comments? Emily Dundas Oke of South Kamloops Secondary School noted that Hitler’s Crocs were on the wrong feet. Sam Hanske of Ballard High School then noted “well the point is hitler is a dumbass, because: 1) hes wearing crocs 2) wrong feet 3) hes hitler.” Well put Sam, well put. ALL enemies of the Jews are dumbasses.

Man, those people hate Crocs like Abe Foxman hates anti-Semites.

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ck

Publisher at Jewlicious
Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.
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38 Comments

  1. DK

    8/26/2007 at 2:07 am

    “ALL enemies of the Jews are dumbasses.”

    This isn’t historically accurate, unless I am missing some mysterious new street meaning attached to “dumbass.” Tragically, a small element have been quite intelligent, and worse, capable. Additionally, one can’t help but doubt you yourself would be fully comfortable with even with a modest qualifier, say “most,” as your insistence of all reeks of posturing bravado. At best, we can hope that you genuine believe some.

    I was just at an engagement party. For hippies. If I don’t like this post tomorrow, I may have to ask you to modify it. I’m guessing I won’t like anything tomorrow.

  2. ck

    8/26/2007 at 3:44 am

    Oh DK. Allow me my moments of bluster and braggadocio, will you? This post was prima facie ridiculous – how can you be so serious ALL THE TIME? Even when drunk??

    Whose engagement party?

  3. ramon marcos

    8/26/2007 at 6:04 am

    To get back on topic here, were any of the hippies wearing Crocs?

  4. chassidisheyekke

    8/26/2007 at 3:33 pm

    everyone in my yeshiva wears those! so annoying!

  5. Sarah

    8/26/2007 at 5:21 pm

    The discussion of Crocs = the discussion of FlipFlops (Chucks, Vans, Paladiums, Doc Martens, platform sandals, wedge-heels etc.) re-loaded. But what do I know?

  6. ck

    8/26/2007 at 5:29 pm

    Sarah – do you really not see the unprecedented dorkiness of Crocs? Of course there were always issues with the flipflops, the Vans, the Paladiums, Docs etc. but Crocs have got to be the ugliest shoes ever, no?

  7. Sarah

    8/26/2007 at 5:45 pm

    I used to think they were made for gardening etc., but then I saw some people strolling around with them in Midtown Manhattan. There are puddles in Manhattan. . . Seriously though, I don’t think Crocs are apt footwear for about any environment, but they are a good way of telling the wannabe-hip running-after-each-and-every-trend fashion victim from people that know what shoes to wear in what weather.

  8. Giyoret

    8/26/2007 at 7:21 pm

    They are sickening. Ugly beyond description. And I am also nauseated by people walking around a filthy city in flip flops with basically bare feet. An online “date” showed up in flip flops on our first meeting; there never was a second one.

    And–apropos of nothing–the other day at Starbucks I was thinking about how glad I am that I am too old to go out with guys who use skateboards and bicycles as transportation. And who look grungy. And who are completely covered with tatoos and piercings. And who wear flip flops…oy. And who would consider crocs just another choice of footwear.

    It’s like I dodged a bullet, or something…

  9. ck

    8/26/2007 at 9:43 pm

    Giyoret wrote: I was thinking about how glad I am that I am too old to go out with guys who use … bicycles as transportation. And who look grungy… And who wear flip flops…

    Eep! Do I know you?

  10. themiddle

    8/26/2007 at 9:47 pm

    I look smashing and never grungy when I wear my crocs.

  11. Sarah

    8/27/2007 at 12:12 am

    TM, prove it 😀

    As for transportation, I’d never expect anybody to own a car as it might simply be an unncessary thing to be had depending on their residential situation. Besides, I only ride motorbikes myself (which is about the only time I wear flat shoes). Anyhow, no offence meant, but turning about any comment-thread into a dating rant may make one look rather desperate.

  12. Chutzpah

    8/27/2007 at 12:26 am

    I have 5 pairs of crocs and each of my kids has 2 pairs. They are THE most comfortable thing to ever put on your foot since the Birkenstock and the Teva. Of course we where the ones for $4.99 from “Five Below”…THE BEST JUNK STORE EVER…but if anyone is looking at the label on my shoes that closely they deserve to be kicked in the face.
    Hey Giyoret…send those grungy skater boys my way…I like my males young, strong and with enough energy to go all night.

  13. Shy Guy

    8/27/2007 at 4:47 am

    I’m sure Debbie Schlussel would categorize Crocs-wearing males as “girlie-men.”

  14. Sarah

    8/27/2007 at 6:54 am

    I think what ck mused was not that Crocs were comfortable or what-not, but that they were awkward-looking enough for more than 300,000 people to sign up up to a Facebook group solely concerned with the appearance of Crocs. Shoes can indeed tell you a lot about the people that wear them.

  15. Giyoret

    8/27/2007 at 8:11 am

    Chutzpah– they’re all yours 🙂 Sweaty, tight, and with energy to burn….hop down to Philly and I’ll direct you to South Street.

    Desperate? (to whom, anyway?)
    Uh…no. You haven’t seen me. That is not my problem.

    Rock those Crocs, people!!

  16. ofri

    8/27/2007 at 10:34 am

    Crocs are an abomination to shoe lovers the world over. Chutzpah, your credibility is shot to hell. Joss Stone can’t dance around barefoot onstage, but you can traipse around in public wearing fugtastic rubber clogs?! Not that clogs of any material are particularly appealing, but rubber is especially ghastly.

    Giyoret, I urge you to open your mind a bit. You could look at bicycle riders as active and environmentally conscious rather than “grungy.” Also, since when are bike riders necessarily careless in their appearance?
    Moreover, if you immediately dismiss any guy who is visibly tattooed or pierced, you are overlooking some of the nicest, smartest guys around. I reluctantly concede that the same may be said for those who sport Crocs.

  17. Giyoret

    8/27/2007 at 11:15 am

    I love “fugtastic” 🙂 🙂

    Well, sporty, environmentally aware is definitely a type that appeals–maybe we just have a lot of sweaty, stinky guys here.

    You know, Vespas are always cool and environmentally friendly, too. A cute guy on a Vespa wearing Crocs? I hope I never have to make THAT decision……

  18. Sarah

    8/27/2007 at 12:30 pm

    1) Despair is not a matter of looks but constant pre-occupation.
    2) I’ve been riding motorbikes since I was 15. As much as I love my bikes, I’d like to emphasize though that motorbikes are not environmentally friendly. They easily need as much petrol as your average Vokswagen, Toyota, Fiat etc. – even when you’re a good driver who knows exactly when to shift gears best – and they do carry fewer people and less luggage than most cars. Motorbikes are fun. There’s a reason why riding motorbikes often is referred to as “the second-best feeling in the world”.

    As for Crocs, I’ve never tried any on, so I can’t tell how comfortable they actually are; I understand the need for good shoes (that’s why I’ve got more than 100 pairs 😉 ), but if their appearance doesn’t appeal to me, I just can’t bring myself to wear them.

  19. Giyoret

    8/27/2007 at 2:34 pm

    You’ve outed me, Sarah: I’m a loser. Not only am I in such a sea of despair about my dating situation that I hijack important topics such as Crocs for pitiful displays of neediness, but I am an absolute shithead when it comes to the environmental impact of Vespas.

    I’m sorry if I distracted you and everyone from your right-on comments about whatever it was you were stringently on-topic about.

    If you can think of an appropriate punishment I can self-inflict, please let me know.

  20. Jewish Mother

    8/27/2007 at 2:38 pm

    Marty Beckerman is a wonderful man. Ben Shapiro is too.

  21. Tom Morrissey

    8/27/2007 at 2:40 pm

    What’s the first-best feeling?

  22. Jewish Mother

    8/27/2007 at 2:44 pm

    ?

  23. Jewish Mother

    8/27/2007 at 2:46 pm

    They are writers. I just read Marty Beckerman’s book. I haven’t the courage to face Ben Shapiro’s yet. But I feel confident in my pronouncement that he too is a wonderful man.

    What do you mean by first-best feeling? I don’t have infant memories.

  24. Tom Morrissey

    8/27/2007 at 3:00 pm

    Sarah’s reference, Jewish Mother. I assume she’s referring to Johnny Damon’s home run off Javier Vasquez in 2004 ALCS, Game 7, but I wasn’t sure.

  25. themiddle

    8/27/2007 at 4:05 pm

    Easy one, Giyoret. Your appropriate punishment is to go out on three dates with the worst date Chutzpah ever got from JDate while wearing your new purple crocs.

  26. Jewish Mother

    8/27/2007 at 4:07 pm

    Probably.

  27. ck

    8/27/2007 at 5:34 pm

    You people slay me.

  28. Giyoret

    8/27/2007 at 6:05 pm

    Middle: I see a theme here we can work with! Cast-offs, the concept of “environmentally friendly”…

    You know, one man’s trash is truly another man’s treasure. Chutzpah: Three dates with your worst Jdate? It might just work, and my undercurrent of despera..er, depth of universal love for mankind might allow me to see something in him that you missed.

    And I’ll trade you a hot strappin’ young’un on a bike. It wouldn’t be ladylike to accost him while he’s riding, so I will have to surreptitiously steal him away while he’s getting a smoothie at Whole Foods. (That way I’ll know he’s a healthy sort, too, and will be able to…um, you know…all night)

    Is that a plan, or what??

  29. ramon marcos

    8/27/2007 at 6:09 pm

    ck, you posted this. Hence you started it. Which makes me believe you were posting while wearing your new blue and white Crocs.

    Apparently the Croc craze is centered in Israel.

    http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=1346492007

  30. Sarah

    8/27/2007 at 6:30 pm

    ck, not on purpose. I still like you. (People may read into my words whatever suits them best.)

  31. Giyoret

    8/27/2007 at 8:30 pm

    ck in blue and white crocs? Surely you jest!

    He has already self-identified (see above) as a flip flop wearing bicycle rider, so watch the kinds of accusations you throw around. (Although I think that’s just to throw the chicks off his trail, actually..unless I am in denial about the truth, because subconciously I want to date him, which, as we know, is just about the only thing I think about…)

    However, even he might move in on the new trend I read about on jezebel.com:

    “Frightening Footwear: Cruggs are what happens when shoes made like Crocs get furry insoles like Uggs. You may also call them Fuggs.”

    Wonders never cease. Never ever.

  32. ck

    8/27/2007 at 9:04 pm

    I don’t own or wear crocs or flip flops of any color. I do however often wear sandals – bad ass Tevas, not the hippie Jesus leather type. And while I do ride a bicycle, it’s a very expensive one.

    The existence of Cruggs means that surely the days of messianic redemption are upon us…

    God help us all.

  33. Giyoret

    8/27/2007 at 9:40 pm

    Whew!! Thanks, ck. I can now breathe, and rest, easy 🙂

    I knew you were cool…

    Laila tov!

  34. ramon marcos

    8/28/2007 at 3:35 am

    “Bad ass Tevas”.

    That’s like saying “Macho Speedo.”

    It don’t work. None of it. Unless you’re running from the dock to the lake home and back there is no reason for a guy to show toe.

    There is no throwing chicks off ck’s trail. There is, however, the chance that when he gets on his bike he can run a few off (from a few of his accounts of his bike riding spills). 🙂

  35. ck

    8/28/2007 at 7:30 am

    sorry ramon, you’re wrong. It’s hot here. And my Tevas are like All Terrain Vehicles – they’re great for hiking and climbing, sturdy enough for biking, both in the city and on trails, you can run in them, and you can go into the water with them (Mediterranean, Red Sea, Kinneret AND the Dead Sea). Try that with your $250 Nikes. Experience dictates that they are also good for stomping assholes with. My Tevas are indeed bad ass. And my exposed toes are quite handsome given the regular pedicures I subject them to.

    Finally, Speedos can be macho – just not on most people. Try telling any buff Olympic swimmer he’s not macho. Go on. Try it.

  36. ramon marcos

    8/28/2007 at 12:07 pm

    First off, as far as Speedos and competitive swimmers, there’s exceptions to every rule. That’s function over form. And bicyclists. I’ll give you those.

    Second, I’ll give you the functionality of Tevas may justify it’s form. But the same, then, holds true for Crocs. I have a few friends who are chefs, on their feet all day, who swear by them. They need to keep the toes covered so no Tevas (or it’s ancestor the Birkenstock) or flops.

    Third, my decidedly non-pedicured yet rugged Northern feet are, season permitting, covered by Addidas, Converse One-Star or Pumas. Unless I’m out at night, when I’m sporting leather zip-up Beatles-style boots with Italian heels. Which I’ve found best for high kicks in faces when the situation may once have arisen in a Munich bar (I’m not saying for sure). And since we only have about two months without Mukluks fashion is a big deal for me.

    $250 Nikes… sheesh… don’t get your toenails caught in your spokes. 🙂

  37. Giyoret

    8/29/2007 at 11:56 pm

    From the AP newswire:

    Researchers from the prestigious Helsinki Institute have made a disturbing discovery: “Crocs”, the shoe craze sweeping the civilized world in 2007, actually had its origins in an uncivilized world of yesteryear, the Weimar Republic. Crude sketches of the clog-like footwear–which scholars believe was meant to humiliate the wearer–were discovered taped to a discarded entry by a perverted, frustrated Jewish art student for an alleged “Diary Contest” sponsored by an unidentified radio program of the era.

    According to researchers, short-sighted broadcasters apparently dismissed the design as impractical, covering the drawings with frowning faces and the odd, seemingly dismissive notation “VDF???”. Linguistic experts concur that the first words of the acronym stand for “VAT DER..”, but cannot agree on the meaning of the last one.

    In related news, The Sons of the Weimar Republic are demanding reparations from the “Crocs USA” company, who declined to make a comment.

  38. Shoshana

    8/30/2007 at 9:45 pm

    LOL–thought it was real!

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