Many years ago, a pair of friends who lived in a basement apartment were getting ready for Hanukkah. They were very close, enjoying a very unique friendship despite their different interests; one of them kept busy adding to his paperclip collection, while the other enjoyed taking relaxing bubble baths with his favorite rubber duck and singing.

As they were both devout Jews, they were excited about celebrating the holiday, and this year was special, because they had only recently moved in together. They were young, money was tight, and they had promised each other there would be no presents. But each secretly harbored a wish deep is his heart for the other’s happiness, and vowed to find a way to buy a gift.

So the one traded his paperclip collection for a special menorah, and the other friend traded his beeswax candles for a magnetized paperclip holder. When they discovered what had happened, they fell into each other’s arms and wept, touched by each other’s generosity, and saddened by the futility of their sacrifices.

But Hanukkah is a special time, and miracles abound. Mr. Hooper, a cantankerous old shopkeeper, was visited one night in his sleep by the Ghosts of Hanukkah Past, Present and Future. When he saw the shadows of the friends embracing and crying over latkes and applesauce, he knew what he must do. He had to open his heart and make this the best Hanukkah ever. Upon awakening the next morning, he rushed to the store and bought the pair some shiny paperclips and scented candles, never even looking at the price tags. And then, in a fit of magnanimity, he bought them what was really closest to their hearts: matching striped turtlenecks.

So this, my friends, is how Bert and Ernie had the best, and most miraculous Hanukkah, ever. I know this story has been told and retold many times over, but I think we can see where it relates to Muffti’s story.

I don’t care about their anti-semitism, but at least they should have a little knowledge… I bet they haven’t read the Protocols of Zion either…