Some things deserve nothing but derision and contempt. I make no apologies. What these people stand for is a dagger aimed at the heart of the Jewish people. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Most of the people here have already turned their backs on Judaism: they have intermarried or are in the process of intermarrying or are ‘OK’ with it.

Most of them are ignorant and have taken their westernized upbringing and are trying to mold Judaism to fit that. In that vein they defend every corruption of Judaism they come across.

They in fact wouldn’t know a Jewish concept if it hit them in the head.

These people active to torpedo Judaism were exactly who the Macabees were against.
Read “Down with Hanukkah”
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Shitting all over them is another.

I’m so fucking sick of “hipster” “Judaism”. Oooohhh, look how transgressive we are. Fear us, you pathetic squares! We are the new face of Judaism!

Actually, no, you’re not.

You’re just a bunch, of navel-gazing, self-involved, alienated losers who have been mind-fucked by gentile culture into being ashamed of being Jews. yeah, that’ll stand the test of time.

Grow the fuck up, get the fuck over yourselves, and learn something about who you are and where you came from before vomiting all over Yiddishkeit, thinking you’re making some kind of bold statement.

Learning about Chanuka from a Catholic Bible, while trying to teach your gentile fiance, who is “converting” about Judaism?

I mean, WTF is the matter with you?

Loser.

In fact Hannuka is not about the freedom to do whatever you want. It is about the freedom to serve God.

And a number you would not have done well under the hasmonians at all! But you might have been left alone if you didn’t actively join the other side. There were hellenized Jews who joined the Greeks (hmmm not much different than today!).

-no point in screwing up history.

Look, Muffti is at a complete loss as to what the issue is here. In fact, so far as he can tell, there isn’t one. (1) there is nothing wrong, Muffti takes it, with knowing your history and when the history is fraught with certain ironies, there isnt’ anything wrong with poking fun at them a la EV and Kelsey. (2) Pointing out the bad in an event shouldn’t prevent one from appreciating the good. Or even from using it as a symbol, relgious icon or so forth. One of the geniuses of Muffti’s preferred inquiry, philosophy and logic, was Frege whose diaries reveal him to be a proto-nazi. Obviously Muffti finds that reprehensible but is he going to quit lionizing him as a genius of modern logic? Extremely unlikely.

So what is the argument here actually about? TM, you’re right that channuka stands as a symbol independantly of some unsavoury facts in the story. Kelsey and EV, you two are right to point out the unsavory parts and mock them in an artistic manner. So far as Muffti can tell, everyone is right which means, ipso crapso there is no argument here.

We’ve got Jewcy!

Hey, Jewcy, why don’t go outside and play hide and go fuck yourselves?

Even better, sew your foreskins back on so you don’t have to pretend to be Jews anymore!

Happy Hanukah, you self-hating motherfuckers!

Don’t forget to not write!

When you see Jews rejecting invisibility and standing up for who there are…

When you see Jews at the forefront of movements for social change…

Remember, that without the Maccabees/Hasmoneans — warts and all — most likely we would not be around to win any Nobel prizes.

It didn’t lose anything in translation.

NOW THAT IS REALLY FUNNY!

A rabbi of a small town is good friends with a wealthy Christian merchant, and they meet often for a chat. One day, the rabbi drops by that merchant to find him feasting on a large lunch of six pork cutlets and wine in his study. The merchant offers the rabbi to share his lunch with him, but the rabbi denies kindly, stating he couldn’t eat non-kosher. The merchant finishes off the cutlets, then helps himself to some wine. He offers the rabbi a glass full, but the rabbi kindly denies, stating he couldn’t have it as it was not kosher. “But Rabbi, is there no way you could eat or drink something non-kosher?” “Nu, under threat of death, I don’t have to keep kosher.” The merchant instantly pulls a gun out of a drawer and points it at the rabbi. “Drink.” The rabbi pours down a glass of wine. “More.” The rabbi has another glass of wine. The merchant puts away his gun. “Wasn’t that excellent? Hope you aren’t upset at me now.” “I am upset at you as you didn’t use your gun when you ate the cutlets.”

(I’ll admit those jokes lose their particular charm in translation.)

Yeah. So EV and DK – you kinda gotta take responsibility for the style and content of your cartoon. I mean I know what you were trying to say, and you enunciated it well here, but still.

Sometimes circumstances dictate the solution and had the Maccabees not been ruthless, well, probably none of us would be here today. I can say this in full knowledge of the fact that the Hasmonean dynasty turned out to be corrupt, debased and unjust. I learned this at my Orthodox Day School where no attempt was made by my black hat Rabbis to whitewash our people’s history. Even with all that, I’m glad we had the Maccabees when we did, especially if the alternative was to lose Judaism entirely. Judaism idealizes peace it’s true, but not at the expense of life.

I know, I know, Al-Quaeda feels the same way. But I still think comparing the Maccabees to contemporary terrorists is facile and simplistic, oh and did I mention grossly simplistic? This point was one made by Hitchens, Almond and Sieradski (but not EV and DK). This argument is so idiotic I feel gross even acknowledging it – as if I were arguing with someone who called my Mother a whore, forcing me to explain that my Mom was at home every night taking care of me and my sisters and not down at the docks blowing sailors for $5. See what I mean? Gross.

But the fact remains that their analysis was one sided and barely mentioned that the Hellenists, Jew and Gentile alike, were complicit in horrific crimes against those Jews who merely wished to practice their religion freely.

Anyhoo, I’m glad we’re talking these things out and please, by all means, do not eat pork on Chanukah or ever. Not on my account anyway.