Ahmadinejad’s Blog

It seems these days everyone has a blog. My Mom does not have one yet, though she’s already achieved her measure of Internet fame with that shakshuka thing (the recipe not the Brazilian dance craze that is sweeping the planet, even Israel). Besides, if she did have a blog all she’d write about was how her worthless son has time for all this Internet stuff but would it kill him to call his mother more than once a month?

Speaking of Middle Eastern demagogues, another person who has a blog is none other than the future nuker of Israel, the modern day Salah al-Dīn who will free Jerusalem from the Jews for 250,000 years at least, the man from the land with no homos: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad!

A recent blog post has Mahmoud spending relaxing time with the family. And what does the Ahmadinejad clan do for family fun? Why pore over the sacred writings in the Nahjul Balagha, particularly the letter of Imam Ali to his governor Maalik al-Ashtar, in ‎which are elaborated the fundamental principles of Islamic governance. Ahmadinejad begins by admitting that “…we must say that we are very far away from what Imam Ali (pbuh) has ‎asked us to do, but we can and must strive to fully comply with his orders.”

So what would an ideal Iranian state look like? Surprisingly it would be a lot like Canada, except without homosexuals. And non-Muslims wouldn’t pay taxes, they’d pay a tribute. The letter warns against self-aggrandizement and corruption, contains a strong social-welfare component, a foreign-policy based on truth and honesty and clearly allows for a nuclear program whose aims are totally peaceful (no, really, totally peaceful!) – just like Canada! I’m certain Mahmoud found this letter to be quite inspiring even if the teenage members of the Ahmadinejad clan were surely thinking “This sucks. Why can’t I have a Nintendo Wii like the normal kids?”

Hat tip: Steve at Jewish Literary Review and Slate.