Stuff Jewish People Like


** UPDATED! **
More stuff and a separate Web site: Stuff Jewish People Like – The Blog!
Come on… like you didn’t see it coming.

Buffet!Riffing off of the success of Stuff White People Like, I’d like to present a list of “Stuff Jewish People Like.” Enjoy and feel free to criticize or add your suggestions!

All You Can Eat Buffets: This should probably be listed under Stuff Old Jewish People Like but I can’t help but notice that there are no Kosher All You Can Eat Buffets in Jerusalem, the Upper West Side, Pico Robertson or Le Marais. It can’t just be because of the old people. Luckily however, there are plenty of All You Can Eat Buffets in Chinatown and in Suburban strip malls and while they may not be kosher, the Jews love them! Why? Maybe it’s a throwback from the impoverished shtetl days where quantity was valued above quality. Maybe it’s a remnant of our history of anti-Semitism where a Jew never knew if a particular meal was his or her last before they had to pack up their belongings and run away from the Cossacks and who knew when they could eat properly again? Whatever it is, despite their relative wealth and freedom from anti-Semitism, the Jews, they love them a good fress!

Validation from the Goyim: Jews sometimes behave like Canadians. Allow me to explain. In Canada, the quickest way for an emerging artist, writer or musician to be taken seriously is to achieve success south of the border. It’s as if popularity in America is the ultimate validation – the greatest proof that someone is worth being taken seriously. It’s kind of the same with the Jews. Like what’s the ultimate compliment you can give to a kosher restaurant? The fact that you can bring your goy friends there and they won’t even know it’s a Kosher restaurant! The fact that non-Jews like Matisyahu, that SoCalled plays at European music festivals, that makes them more acceptable to Jews. Graduating from Harvard gives you more yichus than graduating from Hebrew Union College, the cover of the Rolling Stone is better than the cover of the Forward, dating Leonardo DiCaprio is cooler than dating uh… Abe Foxman. You know what I mean…

Remembering the Holocaust: With greater acceptance in mainstream America, many Jews felt that traditional manifestations of Jewish identity were, well, kind of uncool. While sill tenaciously maintaining their identity, Jews needed something with which to anchor it – and there ya go, the Holocaust fit the bill perfectly! Of course it is important to honor your dead, but often times Jews use the Holocaust as the central tenet of their identities, as if before the Holocaust, there was no good reason to be a Jew. Consequently Jewish communal resources are inordinately dedicated to Holocaust-based organizations, Museums and memorials. Is it any wonder that newer generations of Jews are uninterested in an identity based on virtual necrophilia? But still, that Holocaust train keeps a chuggin’ along!

Old Timey Jew Food: On the Lower East Side on Houston Street, within two blocks of each other, you can visit both Russ and Daughter’s and Yoni Schimmel’s Knishery. Within these establishments on most Sundays, one can find Jews from all over New York and the US taking a gastronomic trip down memory lane by chowing down on all manner of bagels and shmears and lox and smoked fish and knishes and kugels and latkes. They bring their kids with them, they get all misty as they bite into the food their parents and grand parents used to eat. This scene gets replayed all over – from Schultzies in Miami to Schwartz’s in Montreal, from Canter’s in LA to Joe Goldberg’s in Paris. Never mind that this food is mostly unkosher and not particularly Jewish – what’s important is that Jews sure do love their Old Timey Jew Food!

Free Stuff: See All You Can Eat Buffet
Israel/Anti-Semitism: See Remembering the Holocaust

*** NEW! More Stuff Jewish People Like!! ***

Answering a Question with Another Question: “What do I mean?” What am I supposed to mean? Many attribute this unique cultural predisposition to Talmudic scholarship, particularly the Gemara. The Gemara (500 CE) represents Rabbinical analysis of the Mishnah (200 CE) and is presented in the form of questions and answers in a kind of virtual debate. Others attribute this ethnic trait to Jews just being shifty and never wanting to give you a straight answer. Who is right? What? Do I look like a Talmudic scholar?

Florida: Jews frickin LOVE Florida, particularly Boca Raton and Miami. Every December they descend upon these cities like a swarm of locusts. Is it any wonder then that the most well attended Matzo Ball parties are in Boca and Miami? It’s easy to understand why though. Most of the visiting Jews are there to escape the cold North Eastern winters where they live. It’s also nice to get away from all that incessant Christmas mishegas, and well, since Florida is a thriving destination for retirees, they get to visit Bubbe and Zaiyde too. Add to that the existence of many establishments that sell Old Timey Jewish Food and really, it’s no wonder the Jews love the State of Florida. Well all except for the North and the Gulf Coast. That’s for the Rednecks.

Famous Jews: Remember when Eliot Spitzer was Governor of New York? The Jews loved him! And Ari Fleischer? Oy such naches – President Bush’s Press Secretary, a Jew! And of course we all love Jon Stuart, the host of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show. What about Sasha Baron Cohen? The Jews adored Borat! And yet… Spitzer never had a bar mitzvah and married out. Fleischer and Stuart and Cohen are also married to non-Jews. In fact, very few famous Jews, from the ones I already mentioned to Scarlett Johansen, Sarah Silverman, Amy Winehouse, Leonard Cohen, Norman Mailer, The Beastie Boys etc. are particularly, you know, Jewy. However, it seems that their fame more than makes up for it and we tend to uncritically embrace them as we would a warm knish after Yom Kippur. Unless of course they get caught ordering prostitutes, or they marry their ex-girlfriend’s children. Then we cry “Shanda Fur the Goyim!” But barring that… Jews sure do like famous Jews.

Ailment Oneupmanship: I wish I could say this only applies to old Jewish people, but I know I’ve witnessed young ones doing it too. This happens when you get a group of Jews together chatting about this and that. At some point someone starts to kvetch (complain) about the headache they had that afternoon. Then another talks about their painful heartburn, and before you know it we have brain tumors, aneurysms and even made up stuff like, I don’t know, cancer of the eye. It’s a sort of game where the winner is the one with the most horrific disease. Why do Jews do this? Well, you know how tight Jews are right? They do this oneupmanship thing to make each other feel good. I mean if you had a headache for an hour, and it made you feel bad, when your friend tells you he has cancer of the eye it helps put everything into perspective and then you don’t feel so bad. Clearly your friend is a tzadik, a righteous person. OK so he’s a fucking liar, but still, what a tzadik!

Unaffiliated Jews: According to all the major Jewish demographic studies, the fastest growing denomination in Judaism isn’t Orthodox or Conservative or Reform. It’s no denomination. These mamzerim (bastards), it’s feared, are going to cause the end of Judaism. But much like that guy who never calls or that gal who won’t give you the time of day, it seems Jews are fascinated by the unaffiliated. They ask themselves “Why don’t they come around? Where are they? What do they want? What are they thinking? How can we get them to take our calls? What can I do to make them like me?” They spend massive sums of money trying to attract them, have endless conferences about them and even judge the success of many of their programs by how many of them they can attract – even if it means watered or dumbed down content. They try to entice them with free stuff, hip music, money even sex! Unaffiliated Jews tend to not contribute to their community institutions or causes, yet they are an endless source of fascination and longing for the Jews.

Doctors: Man do Jews like Doctors. I feel like it’s such a cliché that it’s almost not worth talking about. It’s like every Jewish mother’s wet dream – Jews want their children to either be a Doctor or be married to a Doctor. It’s like the ideal profession – combining respectability, implied intelligence and a good, steady income, as well as the attendant bragging rights for the parent involved. Now remember, I’m talking medical Doctors. Your PhD in English Literature might allow you to use the designation “Doctor,” but really, your Mother cries herself to sleep every night wondering where she went wrong.

WASPs: That’s right, Jews like to emulate White Anglo Saxon Protestants. Well at least American Jews do. They have always wanted to live where they live, to golf where they golf, vacation where they vacation, go to their schools, talk like them, look like them and dress like them. And the WASPs? Well ya gotta give them credit. They tried to keep the Jews Jewish by not letting them into their clubs, schools and daughters’ pants, but the Jews are an obstinate bunch – it says so in the Torah! They changed their names, amassed great wealth and lavished WASP institutions with massive endowments. The women straightened and dyed their hair blond, the men wore duck boots and polo shirts and pursued lithe blond shik… err, non-Jewish women with great gusto. It’s gotten to the point where the quintessential WASP-style fashion designers are Jews – Ralph Lauren (Polo Shirts? When did Jews ever play Polo??) and Calvin Klein (his minimalistic approach to fashion with muted colors and clean lines are reflective of a WASP sensibility). I mean you can walk into Yeshiva University and judging by all the crew neck sweaters, Polo shirts, Penny Loafers and Khaki Pants, you’d think you had just walked into some bucolic Vermont village. Jews like WASPs so much that it now seems that they are in fact more WASPY than actual WASPs.

Kvetching: See Ailment Oneupmanship

I could go on and on… so, what other Stuff do Jewish People Like?

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ck

Publisher at Jewlicious
Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.
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105 Comments

  1. themiddle

    2/24/2008 at 6:22 pm

    I hear Jewish people like voting for Democrats.

    And they like sex. I hear Jewish people like sex.

  2. Giyoret

    2/24/2008 at 7:12 pm

    Oy ck, my stomach kinda flipflopped upon reading “Holocaust train”. What a choice of words.

    On a brighter note, yes, I agree with middle that Jews like sex. And they love telling you how much they like it. And how it’s genetic or something. And how they’re not hung up about it like the Christians! And oh, also, how much they like it.

  3. Giyoret

    2/24/2008 at 7:14 pm

    Oh, and how much they really want it with YOU. Forgot that. Perhaps it’s understood, but you know, maybe it wasn’t.

  4. themiddle

    2/24/2008 at 8:17 pm

    Not with me. I look like a penguin. But there are about 13 million other Jews around and I hear some of them are attractive and desirable.

    Come to think of it, I know plenty of Christians who really like sex.

    Maybe this isn’t such a Jewish thing. Let’s stick to chinese food shakshukah, Jews like shakshukah.

    And sex.

    Oh wait! Some Jews really like the Torah. And having lots of babies. And wearing long black suits and big fuzzy hats. And these!

  5. Max "Bunny" Sparber

    2/24/2008 at 8:22 pm

    Finding out famous people are Jewish. And hamantaschen.

  6. themiddle

    2/24/2008 at 8:46 pm

    Jews like to dance to cheesy music at bar mitzvahs.

  7. Jack

    2/24/2008 at 8:54 pm

    What is wrong with Yonah Schimmels?!

  8. froylein

    2/24/2008 at 8:57 pm

    One-upping each other on ailments.

    Knowing where you could have purchased an item way cheaper after you’ve asked around for a good deal and eventually purchased it.

    Paying wholesale.

    Calling mum.

    Being related to famous people.

    (Israelis:) Going to Germany to buy electronics. And having cheeseburgers and milkshakes at McDonalds there.

    Discussing things.

    Quantifiers as common patterns of speech instead of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

  9. Tom Morrissey

    2/24/2008 at 9:00 pm

    We Christians never think about sex.

  10. Ali G II

    2/24/2008 at 9:00 pm

    Here is something Jews would LOVE!

    Saturday, March 15 2008 11PM – Acclaimed Israeli Jazz, Funk, Hip-Hop band, Coolooloosh lands at New York City’s famed Joe’s Pub on their first ever US tour.
    Saturday, March 15th – 11PM

    Coolooloosh

    coolooloosh.co...
    @
    Joe’s Pub
    Joespub.com

    Tickets – $12
    Students with ID – $10

    425 LAFAYETTE STREET, NEW YORK, NY 10003
    Astor Place – Subway Station

    Dear friends and associates,
    I would like to invite you to an intimate live show with Coolooloosh.

    Recently at the invitation of Grammy® nominated engineer/producer David Ivory (The Roots, Patti Labelle, Erykah Badu) Coolooloosh arrived to the US in January of 2008 to begin pre-production and the tracking of their new full length album with Ivory at the helm.

    Suitably named “Coolooloosh”, a Jerusalemite word for celebration and joy; this is precisely what the band exhumes with each and every exciting performance. Wooing fans around the world with their intelligent blend of genres, Coolooloosh combining Hip Hop, Rap, Jazz, and Funk, is one of Israel’s most popular groups, and is one of the very few well known emerging acts that can pull it off. Consistently, pushing the envelope, the band is destined to break internationally.

    Press Quotes:

    “Coolooloosh is a band worth looking out for – a bastion of originality in a culture of copycats”-Jerusalem Post

    Debut album review:
    “In short, the Israeli public can expect to hear a lot more from this band with the addictive sound and a magical ability to draw crowds” –Jerusalem Post Show Review ”

    “The Music Is infectious and the crowd gets on their feet” Swindel Magazine L.A

    Links of interest:

    youtube.com/co...
    youtube.com/wa...

    Booking, Press, and Promotion Contact:
    Alex Gutman
    Pro.motions.212@gmail.com
    212.844.9416

    ——————————————————————————–

  11. bubba

    2/24/2008 at 9:28 pm

    I jumped off the Holocaust train awhile ago. I am sick of it and one of the reasons for Chabad’s success in Europe is that they go beyond the train, while for the established Federations its “all aboard”!
    Moreover if the American institionized trains are a valediction for their inaction and indifference during the Holocaust, I’d spit on a ticket.

  12. Giyoret

    2/24/2008 at 9:45 pm

    I second that “finding out that famous people are Jewish”. And stunning non-Jews with the info! And knowing/using the mohel who circumcized some famous person’s kid.

  13. themiddle

    2/24/2008 at 11:19 pm

    Alex from Pro.motions, I’m not sure whether you emailed us to ask nicely to promote this show. I’m letting your advertising through because both our Esther and ck are connected to the Israelity tour that just toured around with Coolooloosh. However, if you didn’t email us, please do so in the future before posting ads. Thanks.

  14. ck

    2/24/2008 at 11:52 pm

    Jews DO love sex! Check this lame shit out: A great article by Ricky Ben David who reports on a sex fest in Tel Aviv that seemed like… the opposite of sexy. Next time someone tells you Tel Aviv is so hot and sophisticated, well… not so much.

    Finding out that famous people are Jewish is a good one I shoulda caught. Ailment one upmanship is another. Y’all are good!

    And Alex Gutman? SO not cool. But you get credit for at least trying to integrate it into the ongoing conversation. Now go tag Jewcy, Jewschool and uh… Presentense.

  15. Gila

    2/25/2008 at 1:51 am

    Re: Holocaust in place of religion–I too, have gotten off that train.

    Re: buffets–if we like them so much, then how come there are none in Israel?

    Natch for ol’ timey Jewish food. Do you have any idea how tough it is to find a decent kosher dill pickle around here? Not to mention a really good bagel? What a shanda!

    Famous Jews: Drives me up the proverbial wall.

    Okay, I really am going to stop surfing the web RIGHT NOW and go to the gym.

  16. Mia

    2/25/2008 at 6:13 am

    I just read the first part but …Excuse Me. No All You Can Eat Buffets in Jerusalem?!
    You obviously have not been to an Israeli Hotel (in Jerusalem or otherwise).
    Why do you think people go to the Dan if not for the All You Can Eat Buffet breakfasts (and licking the serving spoon and putting it back in the cheese).

  17. Hila

    2/25/2008 at 8:29 am

    Buffets is an American thing, Americans love buffets.

  18. Sharon

    2/25/2008 at 12:37 pm

    Jews love navel gazing!

  19. Giyoret

    2/25/2008 at 1:14 pm

    Buffets are not just American; there are little old ladies stuffing their purses with cookies at every kind of ceremony and every hotel the world over.

  20. froylein

    2/25/2008 at 1:18 pm

    There’s a definite market for pocket-sized food containers…

  21. Netsach Shebe Netsach

    2/25/2008 at 4:46 pm

    Being a Jewish Doctor or Marrying a Jewish Doctor or son who is a Jewish Doctor… oye would youre Parents Kvell! or having sex with one is definitely approved

  22. Jewish Mother

    2/25/2008 at 4:48 pm

    Many of them like neat houses and reading. It says so right here:

    jta.org/cgi-bi...

  23. The Jew & The Carrot

    2/25/2008 at 10:45 pm

    You’re definitely right on with the buffet – my aunt Minnie, being the old-school Jewish vegas-goer and buffet afficiando that she is, knows that your meal isn’t done until you have a scoop of mashed potatoes wrapped in a napkin and tucked safely in your purse. Go on with your bad buffet-stealing self, Aunt Min!

  24. Ben-David

    2/26/2008 at 3:53 am

    And there are uniquely Jewish MODES of enjoyment.

    Such as the untranslatable “Nachas” – somewhere between pride/gratitude/social confirmation/sense of continuity.

  25. grandmuffti

    2/26/2008 at 10:53 am

    Judging by their actions, Jews love heavily funding interminable discussions and conferences concerning various buzzwords such as ‘continuity’ and going bald.

  26. ck

    2/26/2008 at 11:05 am

    Going bald?

  27. froylein

    2/26/2008 at 11:08 am

    ck, that only applies to non-brunette Ashkenazim (and I’m not referring to Muffti with that), I suppose.

    Another thing Israelis in particular love is the Eurovision Song Contest.

  28. Giyoret

    2/26/2008 at 7:20 pm

    Wait– they love funding conferences on going bald or they just simply love going bald?

  29. grandmuffti

    2/26/2008 at 10:42 pm

    Nice spotting of the ambiguity there, Giyoret, and good call on teh restriction F’lein. If they would stop talking about contintuity they coujld have conferences on going bald.

  30. Giyoret

    2/26/2008 at 11:08 pm

    And if they continue to go bald they can talk about continutity and balding all in the same conference. Jews love a bargain! Two conferences for the price of one! And the little old ladies can load up their purses with Danish when it’s over (or during, if they’re really crafty!)

  31. ck

    2/27/2008 at 2:10 am

    Well there’s nothing wrong with wanting continuity. But I think the real issue is, you know, why? Why be Jewish. Does being Jewish have any intrinsic value? I mean if your Judaism barely manifests itself in any sort of significant way, then what is it that needs to be perpetuated? Some irrational, tribal or sentimental attachment to a history you know nothing about or a religion you don’t believe in or a heritage that is meaningless to you? So yeah, fuck continuity for its own sake. It’s stupid.

    And baldness? That’s like a sign. It means your testicles are shrinking.

  32. ramon marcos

    2/27/2008 at 3:55 am

    “And baldness? That’s like a sign. It means your testicles are shrinking.”

    That is absolutely not true.

    Is it?

    “Some irrational, tribal or sentimental attachment to a history you know nothing about or a religion you don’t believe in or a heritage that is meaningless to you?”

    Maybe I’m missing your point (qualm) here, but when does religious affiliation have to be unsentimental and rooted in the rational? I agree that when the conversation turns to Jewish delis and you claim you know the best Jewish delis in NYC because you’re Jewish and everyone else in the room isn’t is a load of crap. Or that because you’re Jewish you understand Leonard Cohen’s “Field Commander Cohen” better than the other hipsters in the room.

    But, at least in my generation, the most secular, non-practicing (semi-Buddhist) Jews still find a sense of identity in the irrational, sentimental (re: bubbe’s amazing lukshen kugel), and tribal (uniqueness, last name, etc…) in their lives. Maybe it’s because no matter how secular my generation is in adulthood, the majority assumed in their youth Hebrew School Bar/Bat mitzvahs, Jewish day camps and retreats were required from Reform to Orthodox.

    So (not speaking for myself), no matter how much we’ve fallen away from the practice, the sentimentality will always be there.

    Or maybe I missed your original point.

  33. Jewish Mother

    2/27/2008 at 10:30 am

    Baldness is a sign of intelligence. Grass does not grow on a busy street.

  34. froylein

    2/27/2008 at 4:05 pm

    JM, that very line was commonly used in blonde jokes over here to explain why blondes haven’t got pubic hair…

  35. grandmuffti

    2/27/2008 at 4:35 pm

    Blondes don’t have pubic hair?!?

  36. froylein

    2/27/2008 at 4:45 pm

    Not in that joke for punchline matters..

  37. themiddle

    2/27/2008 at 4:45 pm

    Excuse Muffti, Froylein, he only dates brunettes.

  38. froylein

    2/27/2008 at 4:50 pm

    How would I know, Middle? All Muffti and me ever talk about are philosophy- or turtle-related matters.

  39. Giyoret

    2/27/2008 at 5:13 pm

    Do Jews love pubic hair?

  40. froylein

    2/27/2008 at 5:19 pm

    Giyoret, that pretty much varies, but just as among their non-Jewish peers, you’re more likely to find men that expect women to shave / wax while not doing anything about their neck-to-ankle rugs themselves than women that require men to do something about their secondary hair.

  41. Tom Morrissey

    2/27/2008 at 5:38 pm

    Giyoret, the Brazilians don’t– that we know.

    Very tempting to invoke my goyishe expertise apropos blondes and pubic hair, but being mindful of modesty….

  42. Giyoret

    2/27/2008 at 6:49 pm

    Umm..since when are we modest here on Jewlicious?

  43. Tom Morrissey

    2/27/2008 at 8:14 pm

    Yeah, come to think of it, Giyoret… Still, prior experiences in opining about female pubic hair have been, well, unhappy. The third rail, if you’re a guy.

  44. grandmuffti

    2/28/2008 at 10:54 am

    In all fairness, Froylein, the neck to ankle rugs range over a surface area that is MUCH larger than the surface area covered by some pubic hair, making shaving a much larger, longer task – especially when you consider the amount of upkeep it will take until you die – and waxing a more painful one (in total amount of pain). It’s like comparing apples and gigantic apples. Muffti doesn’t buy it.

  45. froylein

    2/28/2008 at 11:02 am

    Muffti, let’s put it this way: no pain, no gain.

    Seriously though, we had that discussion among staff the other day. My point of view was and is that if a woman wants those men she engages in sexual intercourse with look like a pre-pubertal boy, then there’s something immensely wrong. A man can be well-groomed even with hair on his chest, so that’s no excuse.

  46. Netsach Shebe Netsach

    2/28/2008 at 5:30 pm

    tripple decker pastrami or corned beef sandwiches at a Deli. The way you know if its a good deli is to sample the pickles. If they are crisp and not sweet and vinegary like a vlasic or clausen.

  47. Giyoret

    2/28/2008 at 5:44 pm

    I don’t know why, but my brain jumped from waxed/shaved pubes to all-you-can-eat buffets.

    Let’s play the Jewlicious word association game!! ;)

  48. ringomercedes

    2/28/2008 at 8:17 pm

    There is also another one called Stuff Asian People Like.

    skuunk.blogspo...

    I kind of fall in between the 2.

  49. Michelle

    3/16/2008 at 2:46 am

    yeah, asian people love buffets too! here’s the url: stuffasianpeop... it’s quite funny

  50. Pingback: Stuff People Like phenomenon « Ifelicious Thoughts

  51. froylein

    3/23/2008 at 4:33 am

    Brilliant update!

    Answering questions with questions though can be tracked back to the Hellenized period and stems from Socrates.

  52. jc.

    3/23/2008 at 7:02 am

    Jokes. Jewish people like jokes. My father inlaw (who had absolutely no sense of humor) revealed this truth to me, in a whispered aside, after we´d known each other for about 20 years. This is the same man who had viewed any humorous book or movie or article about jews by jews presented by my wife and myself as most probably being anti-semitic ( The Producers? don`t even go there…)
    Anyhow Jews like a good laugh.
    And your little list gave me one.

  53. ck

    3/23/2008 at 8:57 am

    I am not disputing the existence and historical provenance or even the influence of the Socratic method F’lein. I’m just saying that Jews like to answer questions with more questions, even outside the context of intellectual discourse.

  54. froylein

    3/23/2008 at 2:06 pm

    Do you think so? ;)

    Other things Jews like: travelling, “having family there“, Yiddishisms, mocking non-Jews using Yiddish words for their pronunciations (even if the pronunciation they use themselves may be far off), Old World-food, debating, guilting and criticizing their offspring but boasting about their kids in public, having a better rabbi / shul than everybody else,…

  55. aaron

    3/23/2008 at 2:37 pm

    Others:

    Finding nailclippers (after searching for them for a long time).

    Pretending to follow sports.

    Buying dress shirts for holidays (When we already have enough.)

  56. Adam Hyman

    3/23/2008 at 10:35 pm

    Jews love playing non-contact sport.

    Forget football and soccer…. Jews love tennis and golf.

  57. ck

    3/23/2008 at 11:33 pm

    … some Jews. My buddies and I loved (still love) playing basketball and I was on the city football team. Most of the Jews on the Football team were Sephardic though, so that might explain it.

  58. Giyoret

    3/23/2008 at 11:39 pm

    Older people–Grabbing your arm to pull you in closer and then yelling in your ear. With a heavy accent. And relaying something embarassing/vaguely insulting that other people can hear.

  59. froylein

    3/24/2008 at 5:17 am

    gmail, social networking sites

  60. jc.

    3/24/2008 at 6:11 am

    almost forgot, extensive personal pharmacies…

  61. froylein

    3/24/2008 at 6:27 am

    older Ashkenazim (ladies mostly): obsession with the quality of cloth – Somebody has to keep the term shmatta alive afterall.

    collecting things (plastic bags, food containers of all shapes and sizes) to re-use them – which they will never be

    partaking in other people’s conversation – Is it my fault they were talking so loud for me to hear?

  62. Count Raffulon

    3/24/2008 at 2:57 pm

    Stuff Jewish People Like:

    A Tribe Called Quest – Most crackers like this, but Jews especially. It’s very “safe” hip-hop.

    Stuff NCSYer’s Like:

    – Billy Joel (Again, “safe”.)

    – Having “The Sounds of Silence” on your voicemail. Original emo.

  63. C-Girl

    3/24/2008 at 8:32 pm

    Jews like sports. Not sports they’d actually play (you might get hurt, chas v’sholem), but sports that have lots and lots of statistics to memorize. Especially baseball and basketball. Jews do not like hockey so much. The cold air is bad for their asthma.

    Jews also like Jackie Mason even though nobody else thinks he’s funny.

    Jews do not like to ski, unless they belong to Reform Temples. Then they are required to ski per the membership bylaws.

    Jews like batteries. Every Jewish household I’ve ever been to has economy sized packages of batteries in assorted sizes because you never know when the power might go out. Traditionally Jews did not like rechargeable batteries, but that is changing because so many Jews are now starting to like to save the environment.

    Jews like words that come from Yiddish. They use them frequently and often out of context. They think it is very funny when non-Jewish actors use these words in movies and will memorize the lines and repeat them, even though they are not as funny or ironic when Jews say them. Especially when they repeat them for the 52nd time.

    Jews love Brooklyn. They think that sign that says “Leaving Brooklyn- OY VEY” is the funniest thing they’ve ever seen and will drive to Brooklyn just so they can leave and see the sign again.

    Jews love Bob Dylan. They forgive him for his little dalliance with Christianity because he was, after all, born Robert Zimmerman (I learned that when I was 8) and you can hear him singing Hava Nagila in a yarmulkah with Chabad on youtube. Jews love watching other Jews having fun with yarmulkes on, especially if they’re famous serious musicians.

  64. froylein

    3/25/2008 at 3:02 am

    [Just a heads-up, Dylan may be a MOT, but Zimmermann is a pretty typical decidedly non-Jewish last name. It means “carpenter”, which was a skilled craft one needed to be a member of a guild for to pursue it. Jews, however, were barred from joining guilds.]

  65. Tom Morrissey

    3/25/2008 at 1:11 pm

    Sorry, Countmeister, but it’s been steeply downhill for hip-hop since A Tribe Called Quest. Time to address that white self-loathing.

  66. Chris

    3/31/2008 at 10:14 am

    Nation Wrecking

  67. themiddle

    3/31/2008 at 11:28 am

    Chris, are you a left-winger or a right-winger?

  68. Sam Pedalino

    4/12/2008 at 1:46 pm

    Old Jewish men love Italian women with large breasts. Ben zelden can verify that.

  69. themiddle

    4/12/2008 at 3:50 pm

    Who is Ben Zelden?

  70. Sam Pedalino

    4/12/2008 at 10:07 pm

    Ben Zelden is a left wing Brooklyn CHEW

  71. froylein

    4/12/2008 at 11:17 pm

    Show me a straight Jewish man who doesn’t appreciate of a large bust, and I’ll show you a Sicilian that never gets jealous.

  72. themiddle

    4/12/2008 at 11:59 pm

    Well, somebody should ask Ben to come in here and speak for himself. Or at least one of the lovely Italian ladies under discussion. Preferably with a photograph.

  73. froylein

    4/13/2008 at 2:32 am

    Look here: samjons.com

    Since I’m an F-cup girl, my gauge might be a bit subjective, but the bust in that picture doesn’t ring me as large.

  74. themiddle

    4/13/2008 at 2:38 am

    What bust?

  75. froylein

    4/13/2008 at 2:47 am

    Heh heh, you’ve said it. :)

    Which doesn’t mean that there aren’t any busty Italian women, and since I was conceived in Italy, I’m partial to that country, but give circumference credit where circumference credit is due.

  76. Bob Milward

    4/13/2008 at 11:51 am

    Ben Zelden was a good old chew who adored women. [remainder deleted by TM]

    EDITED BY TM: “Bob,” please keep your personal wars out of our site and stop with the libel.

  77. ck

    4/14/2008 at 1:03 am

    Who the hell is Ben Zelden?

  78. themiddle

    4/14/2008 at 1:14 am

    I think Sam/Bob is/was intimately involved with a woman (Italian, with large breasts?) who left him and he may be holding Ben Zelden responsible.

    You know how it goes, the aggrieved individual then goes on to the Internet and starts libeling his supposed nemesis. And doncha love it, somehow Jewlicious is this guy’s preferred destination for airing his dirty laundry.

  79. Sam Pedalino

    4/14/2008 at 2:54 am

    I would never libel Ben zelden . I have great respect for him and his brother Jack. As far as Bob goes I dont know who he is. Ben also loved pot cheese with sour cream. Can you even get pot cheese anymore?

  80. themiddle

    4/14/2008 at 3:27 am

    Sure, it’s called cottage cheese, I think.

    I’m sorry, but I didn’t check your IP address earlier. You’re not Bob and you didn’t libel Ben Zelden. Is Ben still alive by the way? Neither his name nor Jack’s give away much on Google.

  81. Ley

    4/14/2008 at 5:16 am

    WHOLESALE.
    More for less!

  82. Sam Pedalino

    4/15/2008 at 4:47 pm

    Ben Zelden just disappeared about 40 years ago . His last known address was in Jamaica Estates in the county of Queens N.Y. He also loved to eat raw eggs -yuck-

  83. ck

    4/15/2008 at 9:02 pm

    Uhm… what the hell?

  84. froylein

    4/15/2008 at 11:12 pm

    Sam, I strongly recommend you clean up your act and stop being a creep.

  85. LD

    5/26/2008 at 7:58 pm

    Jewish MEN love Shiksa’s!!!

  86. Joanne

    6/9/2008 at 10:08 pm

    There is an expression for waspy Jews: They’re called “washes,” or White Anglo-Saxon Hebrews.”

  87. Nina

    7/9/2008 at 10:23 pm

    What is this self-hating, stereotyping bullshit?
    Fuck you!

  88. ck

    7/9/2008 at 11:30 pm

    very good nina. you are beginning to understand the point of this whole exercise… we’re not self-hating and stereotypes are usually meaningless and dumb. See the irony?

  89. froylein

    7/10/2008 at 12:29 am

    Nina, it’s called “humour”, which, BTW, is considered one of the most attractive qualities in spouses.

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  91. JUST SAYING

    9/17/2008 at 4:30 pm

    BTW we are not WASPY because we actually TALK about EMOTIONS and FEELINGS and EAT DINNER instead of “GRABBING A BITE” and DATE instead of “CONNECTING”

  92. Herbie Menoff

    9/30/2008 at 1:00 am

    You are gay.

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  95. Sexy Lily

    10/19/2009 at 11:19 am

    StuffJewishPeopleLike.com

    Add your ideas to the site.

    LOL I just found it and haven’t stopped laughing.

  96. Waffles

    1/19/2010 at 1:20 am

    Jews love fighting on the internet!!!

    and kugle.

  97. Meg

    2/22/2010 at 12:13 pm

    Skiing? Or is that a WASP thing? Or both? I’m Mexican and it’s seems to be pretty trendy for White people to ski or pretend to be in the Olympics.

  98. Pingback: Stuff Ninjas Like « Casual Mafia Blog

  99. Jimmjimmychips@yahoo.com

    9/10/2010 at 8:35 pm

    When I was younger I’m catholic. and i was taught that Jewish people are bad….They never said it but implied we had to think that Jewish people had bad to Christan people. I’m sorry for feeling this way…..I have meet people of Jewish faith and I think all Americans and all other Countries should find out about the people are people..

  100. Charley Bach

    11/27/2011 at 11:08 am

    Gerald & Jerome ( the Tishman twins ) love folk music , but they do not like tomato soup froylein.

  101. Joe

    2/25/2012 at 2:39 pm

    Palestinian land?

  102. Jnichy

    6/9/2012 at 12:59 pm

    They enjoy visiting massage parlors and engaging prostitutes, no matter how beautiful their non-Jewish wife is. Jew men want their wife to mommy them and not have sex with them. They can make any woman a good home but they can’t be faithful and it’s in their blood to compulsively lie and cheat others out of money. They are greedy gluttons and are guilty of all 7 deadly sins.

  103. Damien Fellinger

    11/24/2012 at 11:18 am

    I am sorry, but I have a basic question for you. Where do the Jewish people believe theyy sent Jesus Christ? And do you believe in the Holy Spirit?

  104. Judy

    4/3/2013 at 5:33 pm

    I live in South Florida. Jews LOVE Florida. This is the new Borscht Belt. If Jews love buffets and Jewey food, why aren’t there any Jewey food buffets? They would go over big here. Maybe even bigger than Chinese buffets.

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