Okay, so maybe there’s some hostility towards Jews at university campuses across Canada, and maybe “Israel Apartheid Week” is spreading like a cancer through those cold provinces, and maybe Canada has let in half of the Muslim Middle East as immigrants over the past twenty years so that in a short time the Muslim population of Toronto alone is larger than Canada’s entire Jewish population. Maybe.

But, those Canadians are showing the kind of moral fiber that not many others are willing to show. For this we have the Harper government to thank.

For instance, Durban II is coming up and until recently Israel was on the menu as the sole dish for the international community to devour. But Canada has steadfastly refused to attend. Even when the US sent a trial balloon by sending over a delegation from the State Dept., the Canadians did not budge from their boycott. That’s courageous and highly ethical!

What else is great about Canada, other than its entire West Coast? Those Canucks gave the world basketball!

And the telephone!

And Irwin Cotler! The man is Jewlicious great. One of the world’s leading authorities on international law and a former Minister of Justice for those amazing Canadians, he makes Alan Dershowitz wish he were Canadian too.

You know who else? Alanis Morissette and Second City are Canadian. So is NEIL YOUNG! And Bruce Cockburn! And the Barenaked Ladies.

That’s right, Canada produced the Barenaked Ladies!

Well, even so, today Canada outdid itself.

Yes, today, Canada’s judiciary agreed with its politicians that terrorist sympathizers are unwelcome and may not come to this lovely land.

A judge declined Monday to overturn a Canadian government ruling that bans an outspoken anti-Israel British lawmaker from entering the country.

Canada banned George Galloway on national security grounds earlier in March, saying he provided money to Hamas, which is considered a terrorist organization in Canada.
…
Earlier in March, Galloway was awarded an honorary Palestinian passport in a secret meeting with the Hamas prime minister. Ismail Haniyeh’s office released a photo of the two men embracing.

…

A spokesman for Canadian Immigration Minister Jason Kenney said that Canadian border officials made the decision on grounds Galloway was a national security threat. Spokesman Alykhan Velshi said the government declined to overturn the decision because of Galloway’s financial support for Hamas.

In a letter to Galloway, the government said the lawmaker delivered humanitarian goods to war-torn Gaza and gave US$45,000 to Hamas.

Martineau said in a written ruling that he’s not willing to exempt Galloway from Canada’s Immigrations laws.

That’s right, Canada is not only a land of beautiful women (and men, but who cares), but in Canada, if you hug a terrorist, you are out on your ass because that’s just like, uh, sorta like, um, ah, hmmm, I know! It’s like lying in bed with a murderer and smiling for the photo op “Oh Ismayil, you launch such beautiful rockets.” “Why thank you George, and your soft beard gives me great pleasure as well.”

Those Canadians won’t put up with that sort of crap. Uh uh. Not in Alberta, or Nova Scotia. Not in Banff or Vancouver Island. Not in Algonquin Park and not in Niagara Falls. That’s right, nowhere in Canada, not even in Quebec, will they let terrorist huggers in to give lectures to people lest those folks also become terrorist huggers.

Actually, it’s not even because of that. It’s just BECAUSE.

Here are some Barenaked Ladies. Dance along kids!

Has Libyan strongman Moammar Gadhafi followed in former Ugandan Dictator Idi Amin’s footsteps and contracted a case of syphilis induced dementia? How else to explain the following comments uttered at the Arab Summit in Doha? Gadhafi began by calling Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah a ”British product and American ally.” Not too outrageous given their previous scraps. But then when asked to shush, he went ballistic, demonstrating the extent of his craziness:

I am an international leader, the dean of the Arab rulers, the king of kings of Africa and the imam of Muslims, and my international status does not allow me to descend to a lower level

International leader? King of Kings? What? Well at least he got one thing right – the former revolutionary blowhard and now neutered ally of Western Oil companies indeed cannot “descend to a lower level.”

After his outburst, Gadhafi stormed out and took a tour of an Islamic museum. Uhm. Yeah.

This is a press release issued by Israel’s Foreign Ministry:

Military Police investigation on Rabin Center statements: Based on hearsay
(Communicated by the IDF Spokesperson)

The Military Advocate General, Brig. Gen. Avichai Mendelblit, decided to close the Criminal Investigation Department of the Military Police case of the statements made by soldiers at the Rabin Military Preparation Center about Operation Cast Lead. This decision was made after the Military Police investigation found that the crucial components of their descriptions were based on hearsay and not supported by specific personal knowledge. In particular, this includes the two alleged stories that raised suspicion of acts in which uninvolved non-combatants were fired upon.
Additionally, it was found that once the claims were checked, they were not supported by the facts as determined by the investigation.

The investigation was initiated by the Military Advocate General after reviewing claims made during a conference at the Rabin Military Preparation Center in which soldiers who participated in Operation Cast Lead were present. The Criminal Investigation Department of the Military Police was ordered to investigate the claims made, with an emphasis on the alleged firing at uninvolved non-combatants.
The investigation concluded from the soldiers who participated in the conference that the stories told were purposely exaggerated and made extreme, in order to make a point with the participants of the conference.

For example, the story in which a soldier was claimed to have been given orders to fire at an elderly woman was clarified during the investigation. In fact, the soldier witnessed no such thing, and was only repeating a rumor he had heard. In an unrelated investigation, it was found that in a similar incident, a woman, suspected as being a suicide bomber, approached an IDF force, which opened fired towards her after repeatedly trying to stop her from advancing.

This same soldier admitted that he had not witnessed the additional disrespectful and immoral incidents he had described during the conference.

A claim made by a different soldier who had supposedly been ordered to open fire at a woman and two children was also clarified as an incident that he had not witnessed. After checking the claim, it was found that during this incident a force had opened fire in a different direction, towards two suspicious men who were unrelated to the civilians in question.

During the Military Police investigation, two additional claims arose regarding improper conduct. These claims were separate from those made at the Rabin Military Preparation Center. It was found that these incidents do not raise suspicion of unjustified opening of fire. This finding is based on a debriefing which had occurred close to the time of one of the incidents and upon further investigation conducted by the Military Police.

It must be stated that during these investigations, the participants at the Rabin Center said that they had based their claims relating to the use of phosphorous munitions on what they had heard in the media and not on their personal knowledge.

The Military Advocate General, Brig. Gen. Avichai Mendelblit, concluded the findings of the Military Police investigation:
“It is unfortunate that none of the speakers at the conference was careful to be accurate in the depiction of his claims, and even more so that they chose to present various incidents of a severe nature, despite not personally witnessing and knowing much about them. It seems that it will be difficult to evaluate the damage done to the image and morals of the IDF and its soldiers, who had participated in Operation Cast Lead, in Israel and the world.”

The IDF Spokesperson Unit wishes to stress that the Military Advocate General’s conclusions refer solely to the investigations that focused on the transcripts of the Rabin Military Preparation Center conference, in addition to the two separate aforementioned claims. This investigation is additional and not a substitute for the investigations conducted on all levels of the IDF, following Operation Cast Lead.

General Mendelbit writes, “It seems that it will be difficult to evaluate the damage done to the image and morals of the IDF and its soldiers, who had participated in Operation Cast Lead, in Israel and the world.”

I don’t think it’s that difficult to evaluate. The General could, for example, make a scale with 1 being the lowest number and 10 being the highest. He can be confident that the results to his question will appear low, in the lower half of the scale. The damage these idiot soldiers have caused is severe, and that is saying a lot considering how Israel was viewed after Gaza. Nobody will believe the IDF investigation (”Oh, they conveniently shut it down…”), and within Israel, soldiers who put themselves at risk to preserve the lives of others and to be ethical in war, will wonder why they bothered and whether they should put themselves in such risk again. These soldiers, and the man who led the publication of their stories, Zamir, should be punished in some way for the libel.

I think we were all heartened by recent news that a Palestinian Youth Orchestra from Jenin performed for a group of aged Holocaust survivors in Holon last week. The event was organized as part of “Good Deeds Day,” an annual event organized by an organization belonging to Israeli billionaire Shari Arison. The 13 member orchestra performed an Arabic song, “We sing for peace,” followed by two musical pieces with violins and Arabic drums. Sweet, right?

Well, all the optimism engendered by this unprecedented event faded away with news that the Palestine authority had disbanded the orchestra because of the performance and banned the Israeli Arab conductor, Wafa Younis, from re-entering the camp.

Adnan al-Hinda, director of the Popular Committee for Services in the Jenin refugee camp, said that the participation of the children in the concert was a “dangerous matter” because it was directed against the cultural and national identity of the Palestinians.

He accused “suspicious elements” of being behind the Holon event, saying they were seeking to “impact the national culture of the young generation and cast doubt about the heroism and resistance of the residents of the camp during the Israeli invasion in April 2002.”

Uh… yeah. That makes PERFECT sense.

He’s 28 years old in this clip.

hat tip to Jerusalem Post.

David Horovitz, editor of the Jerusalem Post, is one of the finest reporters covering Israel and the Middle East in the world. Over the past couple of decades, he has been influential in two key English language publications, the Jerusalem Report and now the Jerusalem Post. I look forward to his editorials and often learn a great deal from them.

His latest essay is a must-read. He writes about the international fallout of the Israelis’ offensive in Gaza. As we’re showing here on Jewlicious, and as anyone traversing discussion forums and blogs on the internet can see, Gaza has given a wide opening to those who oppose Israel, and has forced Israel’s defenders into a defensive posture. The bigger problem is that the true haters of Jews, the pro-Palestinians who seek a one state problem, the extreme leftists who have long held Israel in contempt and many of the Jews who have taken to bashing Israel for whatever reasons, now have the ball in their court and they are pressing.

This is combined with a new war on the intellectual and political fronts, where a number of prominent individuals have taken the tactic of divide and conquer to the Israel-America partnership. The perception of the Obama Administration as open to “alternative” approaches to the Middle East is prodding the Carters, Walts, Mearsheimers, Freemans, Finkelsteins, etc. of the United States to go on the offensive to ensure their message is heard. Jews across the country are astounded to see an Oliphant cartoon with their Star of David pushed along by a storm-trooper. They are amazed to hear that other Jews, those called the “Israel Lobby,” are called immoral liars by a man who was supposed to lead the intelligence community of the United States. They find themselves lumped in with accusations of war crimes which they are supposedly supporting. And then, these people have to deal with the knowledge that after watching and reading the news about Gaza, they are also unsure about their footing with respect to Israel.

The problem is that asymmetric warfare produces different results than wars between two state armies. It’s one thing when the IDF beats up the Egyptians or Jordanians, but it’s another thing when the IDF, using its powerful arms and well-trained soldiers, fights a war inside civilian zones against enemies who view their own civilians as nothing less than prized media puppets who will gain for them the victory which they will not earn militarily. It is the height of cynicism, but it is a war and there are no rules governing war except that you had better win in some fashion. Hamas may have lost one battle over Gaza recently, but they are winning the war over Gaza by having won the media war. It is not entirely surprising, by the way, if only because as we saw in Lebanon 2006, the media in general has been skeptical and critical of Israel while willing to buy the narrative provided by Israel’s enemies.

Assymetric warfare is challenging for Israel in a way that it isn’t for large and powerful states such as the US or Russia. Part of the conflict, the part that exists in the ether of media publications and reports, is the perception of the Israelis as strong and rich Westerners while their foes, the Arabs, are perceived as weak, poor and unable to compete with Westerners. War scenes from Gaza and from Lebanon enhanced this perception and sealed it with some effective visuals about the damage caused to Arab civilians. Thus, you can’t win if you’re Israel. If you don’t attack, you keep getting attacked, but if you do attack and win, then you lose the public perception fight.

This is a big deal. Israel can’t survive on its own, and Israel has, for good or bad, tied its future to the US. However, this is not a balanced partnership because Israel can never supply the US with enough intelligence or any other form of support to equal what the US gives Israel. Which is why Israel has to behave in a manner acceptable to the Americans, and to some degree that is going to be determined by the views of the person on the street…the one who votes and who matters to politicians.

That is the heart of the latest battle in the war. We are now witnessing an assault on the mainstream American view of Israel with the goal of weakening Israel to a point where it will lose the support of American governments. To some people, the objective is nothing less than the destruction of Israel as a Jewish state. To others, it is merely a desire to punish Israel so that it is forced to offer a different range of compromises to the Arabs. There are those, of course, who may believe that Israel is harmful to American interests, but it’s hard to reconcile that view with people who support Western democratic values. For example, if Chas Freeman prefers that US foreign policy be friendlier to Saudi Arabia and less friendly to Israel because American interests will be better served, then the question that has to be asked is whether he actually believes that a theocratic dictatorship is the model of an ally he thinks the US should support over a vibrant democracy.

The last group is the key group the anti-Israelis are chasing: the mainstream voter who will come to view Israel as a liability. In order to make this case and to destroy the case that Israel is a strong democracy, they have to convince the public that Israel is immoral in its actions and that the Palestinians who live in Gaza and the West Bank/Judea and Samaria, are the victims here and not to be seen as the source for the conflict. This is precisely what Walt & Mearsheimer do in their work on Israel. They seek to undermine its credentials as a moral state first. After they spend a great deal of time doing so, they attack Israel’s relationship on the US. Why, they ask, should the US defend an immoral state?

Why, says Freeman, should unethical lying “Israel Lobbyists” be heard? How, asks Carter, can the US support a state that practices “apartheid?” How can people respect a nation that uses religion to drive its own soldiers to become stormtroopers, asks Oliphant.

After Gaza, this argument is much easier to make for these people, and renders many Israel supporters speechless.

David Horovitz’s editorial made me realize what I already knew from recent debates and attacks on this site and others: it’s going to be rough going for a while and it’s going to require getting hands on good, solid information whether it is in Israel’s favor or not, so that the enemies of Israel do not succeed. Success will not mean some magical return to 1967 lines. The Palestinians can’t even get themselves to seriously negotiate a two state solution where they get virtually all of the West Bank and all of Gaza. Success for these enemies of Israel will mean the destruction of Israel because the weakening of Israel will lead to a point where it will not be able to defend itself or hold on to the idea of Israel being the home of the Jewish people.

I ask you to read Horovitz’s editorial in its entirety. It’s an important article. I will, however, just point out one section from it. As we know, recently some Israeli soldiers reported heavily unethical behavior by other soldiers. This story was publicized far and wide across the world. Here is Horovitz on the subject:

They [consumers of news about the Gaza offensive] don’t know that the head of the pre-IDF academy who compiled the targeting-the-innocent allegations went to jail for refusing to serve in the West Bank, that key soldiers involved now say they were discussing “rumors” and have no direct evidence of any such crimes, and that the central terrible charges of “cold-blooded” killing have been refuted after investigation by the relevant unit’s brigade commander.

(As The Jerusalem Post was told by the IDF on Thursday, “In the [central] incident of the alleged shooting of the mother and her children, what really happened was that a marksman fired a warning shot to let them know that they were entering a no-entry zone. The shot was not even fired in their general direction… The marksman’s commander ran up the stairs of a Palestinian home, got up on the roof, and asked the marksman why he shot at the civilians. The marksman said he did not fire on the civilians. But the soldiers on the first floor of that house heard the commander’s question being shouted. And from that point, the rumor began to spread. We can say with absolute certainty that the marksman did not fire on the woman and her children… We know with certainty that this incident never took place.”)

Important information which has now been published by the IDF itself and that will undoubtedly NOT make it into prominent headlines in the same papers that have reported this story. Just as nobody bothered to run headlines about the UN school that didn’t have 43 kids dead and actually wasn’t attacked.

The truth is supposed to prevail, isn’t it?

Only if you fight for it.

Photographer is Avi-D. Very evocative. Appears to be Tel Aviv.

SHABBAT SHALOM!

A story for your Shabbat pleasure:

DON’T GIVE UP!

Reprinted from Holy Beggars’ Gazette 5737/1977 Copyright (c) 1977 by the Judaic Book Service Reprinted with permission of the Members of the House of Love and Prayer and all the Holy Beggars Not for commercial redistribution

Rabbeinu speaking

Reb Nachman tells a story of a poor woodchopper who found a diamond under a tree in the forest, he came home to his little village and asked people, “How much is this treasure worth?” “We’re not equipped to know,” the people told him. “it looks like millions of rubles. You have to go to Moscow to find out what it is worth.”

He didn’t actually own a single ruble, or even a penny, but he had the diamond. When he stopped at an inn he ate like crazy. When the innkeeper asked, “Can you pay?” he said, “I’m sorry to tell you I can’t pay, but I have this treasure here.” Even if the inkeeper didn’t know how much it was worth exactly, he knew it was millions, so he said, “We trust you. When you come back please allow us the great honor of serving you.”

So he made his way to Moscow. He came to Moscow and there they told him, “Even in Moscow we are not equipped to tell you how much your treasure is worth. You have to go to London, and in London they will tell you.”
(more…)

…and a FREE Ticket Offer!

The Birthright Monologues Web page describes the show as “An evening of solo performances of monologues, spoken word and hip-hop exploring Jewish identity inspired by a 10-day trip through Israel.” Superbly directed by the talented Vanessa Hidary, of HBO’s Def Poetry Jam – she’s the one that appears at the end of Tribe: The Film – the performers relate their own touching, poignant, often entertaining and sometimes funny Taglit Birthright Israel related stories. Those of you who have been on trips will be able to relate, and those of you who haven’t will understand what the fuss is all about while enjoying some remarkably high quality entertainment. The Birthright YouTube page is chock full of video-taped performances which you can view at your leisure. Below is Monologues in a Nutshell:

Looks like fun no? Wanna go for free to the NY shows? Leave a comment and tell me why you should be given a free ticket and maybe I’ll give you a pair… otherwise, click here for discounted $5 tickets – tickets are usually $10 in advance and $15 at the door. Here are the dates and locations – more details on the Monolgues site!

The Triad Theatre – New York, NY – March 31 and April 1
Tobacco Road – Miami, FL – April 23 and April 25
Bergen PAC – Englewood, NJ – April 28
The Triad Theatre – New York, NY – April 29 and April 30
Cabaret Theatre @ Chicago Center for the Performing Arts – Chicago, IL – May 7

Hat tip to Farrah Fidler Yo!

It is never too early to start thinking about which Haggadah we are going to use this chag, hagg, or Passover holiday. There are so many to choose from, and in the same way that some people buy a new xmas ornament each year or a new dreidel, I believe in purchasing and using a new haggadah each year, and finding a paragraph or reading from each one, or a concept to share at the table. I especially recommend one where all the participants each year can sign the haggadah, like a guest registry, so decades from now, we can all recall who was there and when.

So, which one do you use? I start out with the Maxwell House classic, and use the red and yellow Conservative staple as a foundation, the way a cook starts out with a basic soup base.

I then like to add in some readings from the servies of haggadot based on the writings of several rosh yeshivah’s (or is that roshim yeshivot, or roshot yeshivim?) and Torah Scholars. For example, in my edition, Rabbi Kotler asks why the haggadah says were it not for the Exodus, we would be slaves. After thousands of years, would not the Hebrews have freed themselves? R’ Aharon replies that the seder text changes tense from slaves to enslaved, and that although we would be free, we would still be enslaved to Egyptian or a foreign culture and its priorities. Hmmm. I also like anything from Urim Publishing. Urim seems to come out with a new haggadah each season, the way Hallmark (or American Greetings, since they have Jewish roots) comes out with a new card. This year, I will use their Haggadah based on Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach. I like Carlebach’s commentaries. For example, when describing the RasHa child, he feels that the child is not “wicked.” The child is there, present at the seder. The “RaSHa”, he writes, is a resh ayin surrounding a Shin. The SHin in the middle shows that the kid has potential and is not being nurtured. Similiarly, the Clever son is perhaps a little too clever and devoid of spirit. Unleavened food for thought? Also, it can’t hurt to breeze through some of the ideas listed in, How To Create Lively Seders,” a book that suggests ways to keep everyone engaged and interested.

From “The Holistic Haggadah, ” I like the idea that “The Alienated Child is angry. With compassion and understanding must come the answer. Help the child soften. Explain that a rejection of the Divine is a rejection of Self; that giving up leads to self-condemnation in the crucible of enslavement; that there are many questions, but not necessarily corresponding answers. The entire evening, in fact, can be seen as being dedicated to this dejected and rejecting child.”

And it comment on bread: “Hametz is bread – soft, delicious bread. It consists mainly of empty space produced by a gas that does not sustain human life. Its great volume is an illusion of its true essence. Hametz is symbolic of our inflated, swollen egos – mostly hot air.”

For the second seder outside of Eretz ha’Knaidalach, I like to spice things up with a unique haggadah, like the one for Hin-Jews; Jew-Bu’s and others at the left. There is The Telling and Ma’ayan, and other more female focused haggadot. Or the Shalom Seders, an oldie but goodie; or the standard haggadah from the university Hillel’s. There is even a 30 minute seder that you can find online, download, and make as many copies as you like for a nominal fee.

SO… what about you? Any tried and tested ideas for a good and meaningful seder? What haggadah do you plan to use?

Above is the 1st part of 3 videos of Aharit Hayamim performing at the Shemspeed Massive. We called our friend Matisyahu to come out and vibe with us that night. He did just that and for 25 minutes. To check out the other two parts click to youtube.com/shemspeed all 3 videos are sitting there waiting for you

Shabbath Sholem, Erez

In 1948, Egypt invaded the fledgling country of Israel, trying to wipe it off the map, along with four other Arab nations, and contingents from two additional Arab nations. In 1956, Israel attacked Egypt as a part of the Sinai campaign to keep open the Suez Canal, in agreement with Britainand France. From 1956 to 1967 there was a constant War of Attrition along the border, including acts of terrorism emanating from the Egyptian side. In 1967, Israel preemptively struck Egypt, after the Egyptians had closed off access to the Suez Canal for Israeli ships, and Egyptian and Syrian troops were massing at their respective borders, with Israel being victories in the resulting Six Day War, taking the Sinai from Egypt. In 1973, Egypt and Syria launched a surprise attack on Israel, which almost resulted in the total destruction of the State of Israel (i.e. Dayan’s* statement of the imminent “destruction of the Third Temple”). 35 years ago, Egypt was one of Israel’s two greatest enemies.

Yesterday marked the thirtieth anniversary of the signing of the peace treaty between Israel and Egypt. The treaty was signed on 26 March 1979 on the White House Lawn by Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat, and was overseen by American President Jimmy Carter. In it, Israel agreed to withdraw from the Sinai, pulling out its settlements and military bases, and giving up its strategic position overlooking the Suez Canal. In return, Egypt recognized Israel’s right to exist in peace and security. Both countries promised to allow each other to live in peace and prosperity.

While the peace between the two countries has not always been the warmest, there is, nonetheless, a stable and, so-far, lasting peace between the two nations. At the time of the signing, there was a feeling on both sides (though primarily in Israel), that this would be the beginning of “a beautiful friendship.” While this “friendship” has had many ups and downs (probably more downs than ups), the friendship is still intact. In fact, during Operation Cast Lead, the Egyptian government was far more critical of Hamas than they were of the Israeli government. The peace was, also, reaffirmed by statements released by Israeli President Shimon Peres and Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak “celebrating” the anniversary.

Here’s to hoping the peace continues, grows warmer and stronger, and spreads throughout the region, so that all the peoples of the region may “beat their swords into plow shares, their spears into pruning hooks, nation shall not lift up sword against nation, nor shall they ever again know war” (Isaiah 2:4).

In this spirit, below is the traditional Jewish song “Hine Ma Tov,” sung in Hebrew, by the late Egyptian singer Dalida.
Dalida singing “Hine Ma Tov”

**thanks to my dear friend Arie for pointing out that this was a statement by Dayan, and not by Halutz!

So there’s been some discussion regarding Pat Oliphant’s most recent cartoon depicting Jews and Israelis as blood thirsty Nazis intent on driving Palestinians over a cliff. While I feel that Oliphant’s cartoon is idiotic, I believe in his right to express himself. I don’t feel we need to be protected against cartoons by the Simon Wiesenthal Center and the Anti Defamation League. The ADL called Oliphant’s cartoon “hideously anti-Semitic” (I think it’s hideously ignorant) while the Simon Wiesenthal Center has urged the New York Times and other Web sites to remove it. Of course, given the publicity and attention this dumb drawing has received, it’s now been seen by much more people and in all likelihood will never disappear. I understand that these otherwise well meaning organizations are hurt by the perceived defamation of Israel and the Jewish people, but in civilized countries, we don’t ban such expression – we discuss why we think its wrong and let intelligent people make up their own minds.

The ADL and the SWC should have asked the World Jewish Congress for advice. Today the United Nations Human Rights Council passed a resolution calling “defamation of religion” a human rights violation. The Council adopted the text proposed by Pakistan on behalf of the Organization of the Islamic Conference that essentially deems criticism of Islam a human rights violation. This was condemned by the World Jewish Congress whose President, Ronald S. Lauder stated “We see it as weakening the rights of individuals to express their views and criticize other religions, and, in the case of this specific resolution, particularly Islam … This resolution is an attempt to bring to the international body the blasphemy laws prevalent in some Muslim countries. In accordance with human rights laws, the rights of individuals to express their views should be protected and not restricted or punished by the state. Today’s vote is unfortunately only a harbinger for what may yet transpire in Geneva at the upcoming Durban Review Conference as proposals such as this one keep coming to the fore.”

The Jewish Community ought to adopt a consistent policy regarding freedom of expression. If it’s ok to be critical of radical Islam, then it ought to be ok to be critical of Judaism – regardless of how idiotic such criticism may be. In that vein, I hope you enjoy my cartoon showing a heartless creature representing Hamas, it’s Iranian supporters and radical Islam seeking to devour and destroy the people of Gaza in order to further their own political and religious agendas. How else do you explain firing thousands of rockets at a much stronger neighbor in order to provoke an attack that would inevitably lead to the deaths of your own otherwise innocent people?

Whatever. Where do I pick up my Pulitzer already? And the prize money. I have rent to pay!

CoolJewBook.com and ModernTribe.com have teamed up again to help rock your holiday! We’re offering one lucky winner the following Passover accoutrements, all boxed up and ready to give to your favorite Afikomen lover.
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This is what Pat Oliphant thinks of the Jewish state and what happened with Gaza.

Pat Oliphant is wrong.

However, there is a lesson here for Israel. No matter how hard Israel tries to minimize injury to civilians, to fight ethically and to protect its citizens from the endless attacks they’ve had to endure, it will be vilified. Even if Israel unilaterally leaves land where Palestinian live and leaves them to their own governance, it will be vilified. Three, no matter how many rockets are fired by Palestinians or Hizbullah at Israel, any response will be painted as inhuman.

The lesson is that next time Israel should do what it will be accused of doing anyway. If we’re going to have to watch anti-Semitism surge, lies about Jews spoken publicly by prospective government officials, hideous reports and votes coming out of the UN, uncomfortable situations across numerous N. American university campuses, and more, then the least the Israelis can do, for themselves and for Jews living outside Israel, is to finish off Hamas. They accomplished nothing in this war other than to powerfully arm Israel’s haters.

Pat Oliphant is proud of his work, I’m sure, but he should be ashamed of the ugly depiction of Israelis, of Jews, and especially of the comparison to the Nazis. He should also take a good look at Hamas men next time he has a chance because they don’t look like that little old lady.

Y-Net reports that the Kentucky Fried Chicken chain has taken steps to make all KFC restaurants in Israel Kosher by replacing their milk-powder chicken coating with an identical kosher soy-powder coating. The chain is planning on opening three more branches in Israel and an unspecified number of branches wherever Kosher Jews congregate in large numbers – probably the Upper West Side, Pico Robertson and New Jersey. But whatever, as far as Israel goes, this news is bad news for Israel’s uh… growing obesity crisis – one need only look at the fat, cholesterol and sodium content found in the crap KFC tries to pass off as food. I mean really! Do we really need a 790 calorie chicken sandwich with 11 grams of fat?

I know folks are all excited and whatnot, but really. Who is going to protect the delicate waistlines of the lithe and attractive Israeli men and women whose beauty represents a large part of Israel’s international Hasbarah efforts? Why is this being treated like the second coming when in fact it represents nothing less than an all out assault on one of Israel’s greatest natural uh… assets. For shame KFC. For shame.

Apparently so…
Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert today stated that “Israel has never had stronger deterrence than it has gained in the last few years. Those who need to know are aware that there is no place that Israel can’t reach.” Many have seen this as a not so subtle nod to recent reports that Israel bombed an arms convoy in Sudan in January carrying Iranian supplied weapons on their way to Hamas in Gaza. The airstrike in a desert area northwest of Port Sudan city, near Mount al-Sha’anoon killed 39 people and destroyed 17 arms laden trucks.

Ha’aretz quoted unnamed Israeli security sources who stated that “an international network has been set in place in which smugglers move arms caches from Iran through the Persian Gulf to Yemen, on to Sudan and then to Egypt and Sinai where they are brought into the Gaza Strip through tunnels.” These weapons include anti-tank missiles, small arms, and military grade high explosives, as well as missiles.

The government of Sudan is said to be very embarrassed by this attack but apparently not so embarrassed by the arrest warrant issued against Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir by the International Criminal Court on charges of war crimes in the Darfur region. Bashir has been to Egypt and Eritrea in recent days, is visiting Libya today and is expected in Ethiopia and Qatar for an Arab Summit. It’s enlightening to see that an ICC arrest warrant need not stand in the way of racking up major frequent flier points!

It’s hard for me to get any writing done at home. This misfortune has led to a patronization of coffee establishments in the Encino/Sherman Oaks area. Here are some of my favorites!

1. Aroma Café – Encino

An Israeli style Café in the heart of mini Tel-Aviv, the crowd is mostly Arab and Nazi sympathizers. The food is REALLY good (get the Tunisian on a Jerusalem Bagel), you can smoke on the patio – they also put out misters during the summer! – and the waitresses are all hot Israeli chicks looking to get a Visa. Bring a ring next time you go.

Pros: Besides the food, the best part is that Aroma is a scene, which is exceptional since it’s in the VALLEY. The Hollywood feel, without the pretentiousness. Waitresses like it when I talk in Hebrew. Still, I always leave heartbroken and dateless.

Cons: Expect to wait a long time for a table, especially if you want to sit outside. Flirt with the hostess by commenting on her stupid necklace she bought off her friend in the mall. Usually, you’ll get seated earlier.

2. Starbucks – Ventura and Hayvenhurst

The caffeinated anchor in yet another manufactured suburban entertainment complex. There’s an outdoor patio where the young and old school each other in speed chess matches. Illegal checks usually lead to a flurry of Farsi across tables. The police came down hard on the establishment about eight years ago when one of them pulled out a gun on a cop.

Pros: Adjacent to Barnes and Noble. Frequented by cougars. Hot moms make for pleasant eye candy. Radiohead will pop up on the store playlist about once a month.

Cons: Persians.

3. Coral Tree Café – Tarzana

Serving panini, pasta and wine, the food and the prices draw an upscale, professional crowd that come for meetings, awkward lunch dates, and coo over newborn babies with gargantuan heads. I know this because I’m sitting right next to one.

Pros: Curried Chicken Sandwich. The counter to table service, and endless cups of drip coffee.

Cons: Pricey. But you pay for what you get. The sandwiches are enormous and come with a nice salad.

4. Coffee Bean – Reseda and Ventura

Where suburbia goes, coffee will follow. I have a special place in my heart for this one –I did my barista training here, got wired on 8 shots of espresso in half the hours. Shaky hands brings angry service. Lisa, the manager, liked to close up on time, so she’d put an out of order sign on the bathroom 30 minutes before close to avoid the heavy post clean-up. They reopened it after Israelis started peeing in the parking lot.

Pros: Equidistant to nearly everybody I know, I’ll see someone every time I visit. Good place to meet Jewish girls. They have a fireplace during the winter, and Coldstones and Robeks Juice is next door. But who the fuck ever goes to Robeks Juice?

Cons: CB pays no attention to furniture: it sucks far worse than the Office Depot desk my brother gave me for my apartment in San Francisco. Also, Israelis tend to get rowdy during the midnight hour, smoking cigars and eventually turning into werewolves.

5. Starbucks – Kester and Ventura

Same drinks, different feel. This Starbucks stays open till midnight every night, one of the few places in the area to do so. In typical Valley behavior, a spat broke out last time I was here between three burly, goateed Armenians and an older Persian guy, who I call Mr. Bronze. He was hitting on a few young girls. 10 minutes later he was about to “get his jaw cracked and knocked the fuck out for talking shit.” Another ten minutes passed and nothing happened.

Pros: You can sit in the corner, start working, and not order a thing. If the staff can’t see you, they can’t bother you. The music is not too loud or distracting. And you can’t beat the late hours.

Cons: I would again say Persians, but I don’t want to diminish the entertainment possibilities.

I stumbled upon Hudson New York, a publication that has published an article by long-time Israeli reporter, one who is Muslim and works for the Jerusalem Post, Khaled abu Toameh. Anybody who reads the J Post, knows that abu Toameh is an excellent journalist who often brings into his stories the Arab or Palestinian perspective. He does so with integrity and his analyses are often penetrating and intelligent.

A few days ago, Abu Toameh published On Campus: The Pro-Palestinians’ Real Agenda describing his experience in a series of talks at different US campuses. He concludes by writing:

we should not be surprised if the next generation of jihadists comes not from the Gaza Strip or the mountains and mosques of Pakistan and Afghanistan, but from university campuses across the U.S.

What leads him to this extraordinary assertion? Well, something we’re covered here at Jewlicious plenty of times, the extremism of the pro-Palestinian advocates on campuses and their strong hatred – there is no other word – for Israel and anybody who is connected to it in any way.

Abu Toameh writes:

During a recent visit to several university campuses in the U.S., I discovered that there is more sympathy for Hamas there than there is in Ramallah.

…

I was told, for instance, that Israel has no right to exist, that Israel’s “apartheid system” is worse than the one that existed in South Africa and that Operation Cast Lead was launched only because Hamas was beginning to show signs that it was interested in making peace and not because of the rockets that the Islamic movement was launching at Israeli communities.

I was also told that top Fatah operative Marwan Barghouti, who is serving five life terms in prison for masterminding terror attacks against Israeli civilians, was thrown behind bars simply because he was trying to promote peace between Israelis and Palestinians.

Furthermore, I was told that all the talk about financial corruption in the Palestinian Authority was “Zionist propaganda” and that Yasser Arafat had done wonderful things for his people, including the establishment of schools, hospitals and universities.

The good news is that these remarks were made only by a minority of people on the campuses who describe themselves as “pro-Palestinian,” although the overwhelming majority of them are not Palestinians or even Arabs or Muslims.

The bad news is that these groups of hard-line activists/thugs are trying to intimidate anyone who dares to say something that they don’t like to hear.

…

On one campus, for example, I was condemned as an “idiot” because I said that a majority of Palestinians voted for Hamas in the January 2006 election because they were fed up with financial corruption in the Palestinian Authority.

On another campus, I was dubbed as a “mouthpiece for the Zionists” because I said that Israel has a free media.
…
And then there was the campus (in Chicago) where I was “greeted” with swastikas that were painted over posters promoting my talk.

… (more…)

I’ve been in New York for the better part of a week now. The headlines have been dominated by news of Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme in light of his guilty plea and subsequent jailing until his sentencing later this summer. As I surveyed the horrific destruction wreaked by Madoff and his enablers – personal fortunes evaporated overnight, charitable foundations forced to close, widows rendered penniless etc. etc., I couldn’t help but wonder what lessons one could glean from this unfortunate affair.

Well, there’s the obvious lesson that when one makes investments, it’s best to diversify. Also, it’s a good idea to research any prospective investments thoroughly. But I knew that when I was 12 and my taxi driver Dad taught me about the stock market. No the lessons learned have more to do with the nature of Jewish philanthropy then they do with financial (mis)management. I’ll try to explain.

There was an article about Madoff in the latest Vanity Fair. The author had been following Madoff for a while, ever since he was fortuitously refused entrée into the most exclusive club in town – those that were allowed to invest in Madoff’s Fund. Madoff’s genius is that he was able to gain the confidence of otherwise intelligent people by sole virtue of who he knew, where he lived and the external trappings of his (stolen) wealth. He was so good at what he did that people and foundations were literally begging to be allowed to give him their hard earned money. Begging!

What does this have to do with Jewish Philanthropy? Well, I really enjoyed Eli Valley’s most recent cartoon in the Forward. Jacob Berkman over at the Fundermentalist, a Jewish Philanthropy blog at the JTA noted that Valley’s cartoon appeared appeared in time for the Jewish Funders Network 2009 Conference in Florida. Berkman notes:

The plot of the comic: A meteor is heading towards earth, so in an effort to save the human race scientists choose Jewish social entrepreneurs to blast into space to another planet. Why? Because social entrepreneurs are the smartest and the brightest and the bestest that the Jewish communal world has to offer.

The subplot of the comic: Maybe they’re not.

The context: The JFN conference is expected to be focused a great deal on social entrepreneurship in the Jewish community.

My Fundermentalist sixth sense tells me there are a few people that want to blast Eli Valley into space right about now.

Now what’s that all about? What does this have to do with Madoff? I guess that the possibility exists that the great folks at the Jewish Funders Network, a collection of the top Jewish philanthropists, might be getting sold a bill of goods when it comes to the importance and even meaning of the notion of “social entrepreneurs” and it’s bastard cousin concept “social networking.” So desperate are some to connect to Gen-Y Jews, that they will latch on to any easy to digest concept that might provide an easy answer to their communal woes – you know, the usual suspects – intermarriage, assimilation, declining Jewish rates of literacy, declining rates of Jewish communal involvement etc. And why are they being fooled? Because being on twitter will not give you any greater street cred with young Jews. A facebook account is not automatically going to endear you the masses of young Jews who have historically been bored shitless with what you have to offer. And those well dressed, hyper eager and articulate activists and newly minted consultants urging you to spend money on a tech-strategy that they, let alone you, barely understand – well, they’re the ones getting a lot of attention, but they are also the ones that have been responsible for a number of failed social networking type projects in the past, so buyer beware.

I think Valley’s cartoon underscores the possibility that the Emperor may have no clothes, that there is an industry out there that preys on clueless foundations by generating meaningless catch phrases and that investments in projects, individuals and concepts that are not sufficiently well thought out and vetted may end up earning the same sorts of returns as an investment in Madoff’s Ponzi scheme.

Oh but the lesson! There was a lesson in all of this! Yes, the lesson is that substance is very important of course, but no matter how raw and indie and effective your project is, you ought not ignore presentation. Take a lesson from successful social entrepreneurs – even the hucksters amongst them – dress well, speak passionately and with an air of authority, kiss butt strategically and stay up to date on the latest advances in technology and social trends.

I didn’t want this to come off sounding like a massive indictment against those that fund our organized Jewish community. The evidence is clear that many out there “get it” and spend their philanthropic dollars wisely. I was pleased to read the study by Professor Steven M. Cohen and Dasee Berkowitz released at the JFN and cited in Dan Brown’s eJewishPhilanthropy blog. Titled Patterns of Singularity: The Motivations of Independent Jewish Funders in Times of Economic Distress, the research was based on in depth interviews with a diverse group of 17 donors as well as a web-administered survey completed by 195 donors and foundation professionals associated with the Jewish Funders Network. What I found there that gave me the greatest hope were the results of the answers to the question “Thinking about your current giving to Jewish causes, what are the issue areas that appeal to you?”

69% cited “Educating Jewish children and adolescents,” 46% cited “Supporting identity-building initiatives by & for Jewish young adults,” and 37% cited “Innovative Jewish learning initiatives” and “Strengthening young people’s ties to Israel.” Those were the top 4 responses. The lowest two issues cited were “New media with a focus on Jewish identity” (8%) and Jewish media (e.g., JTA, newspapers, magazines) (6%). I know looking at these numbers favorably while running a Jewish blog seems odd, but all the online interaction in the world does not compete with significant real world activities and interaction. No matter what the “next-gen millenial i-gen platform leadership text message start-up 2.0 innovator digital zionism” crowd might have you believe.

Real world interaction. That’s how Bernie Madoff succeeded and that’s how you can succeed too. But for the love of God, make sure you can generate a positive return on investment!

Speaking of which, the ROI Summit application period has been extended by a week. If you’ve read this far and you’re a young Jewish innovator, you should probably apply if you haven’t already!

So tonight is the first official event of the Spring Tour with “Cool Jew Night” @ SUNY Rockland at 7 pm. Rumor has it there is a Cool Jew Contest in the works, cool Maui Wowie drinks to be had, and some kind of Cool Jew cookies in the offing. I’m curious to see it all unfold… S’all free and kosha, so if you’re in the ‘hood, come join in!

Big news: Wednesday may be the first time a Jewlicious presenter hits XM Satellite Radio. Cool Jew will make her debut on XM Channel 156 and Sirius Channel 195 at 5 am, 1pm, 7pm EST. The show will air again Sunday at 7am EST.

If you’re not a subscriber, never fear. For a free three-day trial sub (no credit card required), click here.

At Oprah.com, you can also get more information about Oprah XM Satellite Radio Channel 156 and the “Dr. Maya Angelou Show.”

Meanwhile, stay tuned for deets on the upcoming Jewlicious Passover giveaway sponsored by Cool Jew and Modern Tribe!

“Shir HaShirim” by Benyamin Brody, Diwon & Dugans came out today! Modular Moods/Shemspeed are having a limited time sale buy the CD in the Shemspeed store (LINK HERE) and get two free Diwon mixtapes or buy on iTunes for 8.99 (LINK HERE).

Now to some info; “Benyamin Brody, Diwon, and Dugans take on Shir Ha Shirim (The Song of Songs)/Kodesh Kodashim (The Holy of Holies), an hour long meditation broken into 9 songs. The music mixes the emotive Moroccan singing of Benyamin in a “call out” to the most high, through the writings and poetry of King Solomon, with Diwon’s and Dugans’ signature walls of sound that bring hip hop, rock, and mizrachi influences to this middle eastern meditative record.”

Download the single free: “Yehi Razton (final prayer)”
Watch 2 clips from the CD Release Party at Joe’s Pub ONE & TWO.
Visit them on myspace: myspace.com/shirhashirim

Has the economy wreaked havoc with your post-graduation career plans? Having a tough time finding a job or even a decent internship that doesn’t involve moving to Alaska or fetching coffee? It’s ok. You have options thanks to MASA Israel – check out their Web site, abetterstimulusplan.org for more information on a variety of subsidized long term programs in Israel that involve Internships, volunteer programs or study. Ride out the current economic storm in Israel while generating some serious resumé fodder to boot! While you’re exploring your options, you MUST check out the hilarious videos produced by Heeb Magazine promoting this valuable and timely initiative. Below is my favorite. Why? Because it involves a Buick of course – though be warned – of the three produced it’s the only one that includes a little nudity…

Yeah, ok so that was a little provocative. I did warn you. But kudos to MASA for doing what it takes to reach its target demographic – namely producing good quality videos that combine humor and creativity with an important message. And yes, they are also advertisers, but like I told Kelsey, I would have featured their vids regardless. Because of the Buick reference. Of course. Yup…

Not since a candy bar was found floating in a country club swimming pool, has there been such a near riot over something tubular. It began when a patron thought there was something fishy about his plump chicken frank that did not fit into his challah roll. He accused the worker at Brooklyn’s 13th Avenue Cheskel Shawarma King restaurant of not serving a kosher frank. It had come from a package that did not look like it had a hecksher. It didn’t. It has been reported that a hungry, but enraged, mob as large as ten minyanim, pushed and yelled and attacked the restaurant’s staff. The manager had to fend off attackers with an electric carving knife (which could be used to stop the attacking Jewry, since it had not come into contact with the unkosher meat). Rabbi Naftali Meir Babad, who had certified the restaurant as kosher, wrote a note to the Boro Park community in Yiddish defending the eatery and explaining that it was a one time incident. It seems as if the worker who was sent to the market to buy some dogs went to the local grocery and not the kosher purveyer. The sullied equipment was disposed of and the restaurant cleaned.

As for the video: click here

Paul Krugman is one of the most astute commentators on American public life, especially as it relates to our economy. Winner of last year’s Nobel prize for Economics, he has been a tireless critic of the Bush Administration and has not held back now that Obama is in power.

It was disconcerting, to say the least, to read his criticism of the latest twist in the Obama attempt to fix the banking system and the credit markets. For those of you who aren’t following, Tim Geithner, the Treasury Secretary, announced today that along with the bank and AIG bailout plan for which we’re paying $750 billion, and along with the trillion dollars the Fed has just pledged to release into the economy to lubricate those stiff bank credit lines, and along with the $180 billion we’ve given as a gift to AIG, and along with the $100-$200 billion in guarantees to Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae…

…We are now planning to spend between $500 billion and a trillion (1000 billion) dollars to buy the “toxic” assets held by banks in some weird public-private investment scheme where we, the taxpayers, heavily subsidize the risk of investors purchasing these “toxic” assets. If they go up, the investors will make a ton of money, but if they go down, the investors will only lose a little while the taxpayer will lose a fortune.

This sounded to me like a recipe for disaster, but what do I know? The guys over at Treasury are smarter than me so I assume they have it all figured out.

Not so fast, says Krugman in today’s NY Times column. He uses the term “despair” in his title! Discussing the plan, which he calls “cash for trash,” Krugman writes:

This is more than disappointing. In fact, it fills me with a sense of despair.

After all, we’ve just been through the firestorm over the A.I.G. bonuses, during which administration officials claimed that they knew nothing, couldn’t do anything, and anyway it was someone else’s fault. Meanwhile, the administration has failed to quell the public’s doubts about what banks are doing with taxpayer money.

And now Mr. Obama has apparently settled on a financial plan that, in essence, assumes that banks are fundamentally sound and that bankers know what they’re doing.

…

But the real problem with this plan is that it won’t work. Yes, troubled assets may be somewhat undervalued. But the fact is that financial executives literally bet their banks on the belief that there was no housing bubble, and the related belief that unprecedented levels of household debt were no problem. They lost that bet. And no amount of financial hocus-pocus — for that is what the Geithner plan amounts to — will change that fact.

You might say, why not try the plan and see what happens? One answer is that time is wasting: every month that we fail to come to grips with the economic crisis another 600,000 jobs are lost.

Even more important, however, is the way Mr. Obama is squandering his credibility. If this plan fails — as it almost surely will — it’s unlikely that he’ll be able to persuade Congress to come up with more funds to do what he should have done in the first place.

All is not lost: the public wants Mr. Obama to succeed, which means that he can still rescue his bank rescue plan. But time is running out.

These are scary times.