Jewish Vodka in Russia


You know you are The Big Jew in The Family when your parents go on vacation and meet their friends from Russia in Spain, and they bring you back the following as a present:

Like Absolut. Only not as sexy. And with more pogroms per milliliter.

That would be “Jewish Standard Vodka, made on Matzah (how? why?) and Kosher.” By some mysterious named Kauffman, who chooses to remain in Roman letters. Let’s have a closer look:

"Yaakov, I'm so hosed." "Oy, Abram. How about another 50 gramulichik?"

I mean, I guess it’s not really anti-Semitism, but who knows what is going on with that dog there.  ASPCA better get on their asses.  Except there is no ASPCA in Russia.  Only stereotypes of shtetl Jews walking around and taking shots of Jewish Standard Vodka (Made on Matzha.)

For added effect, Russian in Hebrew!  Opa.

For added effect, Russian in Hebrew! Opa.

I guess it’s not so bad, considering some of the other caricatures we have to contend with, from the Russian store I visit and buy Russian groceries at regularly:

It says they’re from Israel!  That means they are not anti-Semitic. Probably just a campaign slur on Lieberman.  It would be totally damaging to his reputation to be pictured in a kipah. Are you sure it says “roasted sunflower seeds” and you weren’t going for “roasted Jews?” No Freudian slip this time?  These garinim seem a little racist to me.  On the other hand, Racist Garinim is a great name for a band.

Just checking, Russian illustrators, just checking.


12 Comments

  1. Marinka

    6/8/2009 at 6:05 am

    my papa told me that Jews are the biggest anti-Semites. He told me this while counting money and drinking the blood of Christian babies.

  2. Barry

    6/8/2009 at 6:21 am

    Hahaha, great post.

  3. ck

    6/8/2009 at 6:56 am

    There is just no end to the weirdness Russians generate. Loud, mukti-colored Versace shirts are truly just the tip of the iceberg. Save me a pack of Greedy Jew brand roasted sunflower seeds!

  4. froylein

    6/8/2009 at 7:02 am

    Oh my, in Germany they don (fake) Dolce&Gabbana. :)

    Vicki, in a way this is too sad to be laughing but too funny to cry. Now I’m disturbed. :)

  5. Natalie

    6/9/2009 at 5:43 am

    Purchase Vodka Kauffman Jewish Standart in Europe!

    +4930 / 893 80 20 30

    info@kauffman.de

  6. vicki

    6/9/2009 at 7:37 am

    Out of all the comments on this post, the last one is most surreal.

  7. froylein

    6/9/2009 at 7:54 am

    Hi Natalie,

    ich sehe Ihr seid aus Deutschland. Ich habe gerade mal auf Eure Seite geclickt. Die neuen Flaschen sind wirklich sehr originell und ansprechend. Wir bei Jewlicious sind gegenüber Kooperationen und möglichen Sponsoren :) immer offen. Falls Interesse besteht, dann meldet Euch bitte entweder hier oder über die Kontaktseite.

    Lieben Gruß,
    Froylein

  8. vicki

    6/9/2009 at 10:19 am

    Thanks for extending the invite, froylein. We may have to investigate further. This is getting curiouser.

  9. froylein

    6/9/2009 at 11:17 am

    Vicki, think we need to sample to make sure it’s not fake Russian? I’ll bring the shashlik and the carrot salad.

  10. Vicki

    6/9/2009 at 8:18 pm

    You know us too well, Froylein. :)

  11. froylein

    6/10/2009 at 7:31 am

    Da. :) I’ll gladly tell the Russian joke about the hedgehog that has learnt to breathe through its anus to entertain the audience. :)

  12. yisroel

    3/12/2010 at 4:06 pm

    just got this as a gift. trying to figure out if this could be kosher for passover. probably not. in all likely hood will sample this shabbos. lchaim.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>