Food is not my beat, but Kashrut kinda is. So hear goes the Cab/Merlot and Bulgarian Feta Cheese Kashrut Alert that I just received in my in box courtesy of the OU. I wonder if the department of alerts realized the cuteness of the two email alerts going out at the same time?

These products are not kosher, but might make a nice wine and cheese picnic.

Country Road brand Bulgarian Cheese
Bulgarian Sheep’s Milk Cheese, Product of Bulgaria

Ein Kerem brand Cabernet Merlot Syrah (barcode 7290003541430)

These products bear an unauthorized OU symbol. Consumers spotting these products are requested to contact the Orthodox Union at 212-613-8241.

Oh no! Save Brüno!

The Fatah aligned Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades has threatened Sacha Baron Cohen’s life as a result of its inclusion in Sacha Baron Cohen’s new comedy, “BrünoHaaretz reports:

According to World Net Daily, the controversy erupted after Ayman Abu Aita said he was falsely portrayed in the film as a member of the al-Aqsa-Martyrs’ Brigades during an interview in the film by Cohen’s homosexual alter-ego who posed as a journalist…. Separately, the group denounced Cohen’s “dirty use” of Aita, claiming that he was misled as to the “real context of the film.” … Bruno is seen remarking to Aita: “I want to be famous. I want the best guys in the business to kidnap me. Al-Qaida is so 2001.”

Aita’s lawyer says his client plans to sue. Having nothing better to do with his time now that the terrorism business is on the wane, an Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade spokesperson stated “We reserve the right to respond in the way we find suitable against this man … The movie was part of a conspiracy against the Al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigades.” Right. Because a movie that has so far grossed $117,752,033 at the box office is really a clever front aimed discrediting an otherwise honorable and beloved organization dedicated to the defense of freedom and uh… peace and love and women’s rights and little children everywhere.

Of course, Fatah affiliated douchebags do not have a monopoly on stupid! Last week Ynet reported that Hamas claimed that Israeli intelligence operatives, seeking to destroy the fabric of Palestinian scoiety, have provided Gaza-based drug dealers with a sort of horny gum that makes chewers crave sex. Drug delaers are even encouraged to give the gum away for free. Of course this is ridiculous. If such a gum existed they’d be selling it out of convenience stores here. Also, if Israel was intent on genocide wouldn’t they distribute gum laced with saltpeter or the essence of Roseanne Barr or something that would make you the polar opposite of horny and thus less likely to procreate and have babies??

Whatever. I’ve given up on logic. Everyone should just play the Brüno Dildo Defender game.

Way!

The FBI Investigation into AIPAC that resulted in dropped charges against two AIPAC staffers accused of passing classified information to Israel may have been motivated by anti-Semitism according to Larry Franklin, who supplied the staffers with classified information as part of the FBI sting.

Franklin, a former Pentagon analyst who pleaded guilty in 2005 to revealing classified information to AIPAC, said in that interview that he became disturbed by several apparently anti-Semitic remarks by his FBI handlers:

“One agent said to me, ‘How can an Irish Catholic from the Bronx get mixed up with all these …,’ and I finished the sentence for him: ‘Jews?’ And I proceeded to tell him that Christ and all the Apostles and even his mom were Jewish,” Franklin said in the interview… “So it was that sort of thing. And just sarcastic turns of the phrase from time to time. You know, I felt dirty sometimes,” he said… “But that [anti-Semitism] dimension was part of this investigation and may have been an initial incitement of this investigation.”

Steve Rosen, one of the former AIPAC staffers once accused of illegally sharing classified information with Israeli officials responded to Franklin’s statements in an interview with the Jerusalem Post, stating:

“Within the counter-intelligence bureaucracy of the United States government, there is a virulent ideology about Israel and Jews … What these guys believe is that there’s a Jewish cabal, a Jewish conspiracy.”

Oh jeez. The FBI had no official response to either Franklin or Rosen’s allegations of anti-Semitism. FBI Assistant Director John Miller simply told the Washington Times:

“We have no way to respond to thirdhand characterizations of partial statements allegedly made by unnamed FBI employees several years ago,” Mr. Miller said. “If Mr. Franklin would like to make a formal complaint about the conduct of any FBI employee, there is a process to do.”

Hat tip to uh… white power Web site Stormfront via twitter. Now there’s a shocker…

Us? Criminals?

Of course it figures that any time a story on Israeli organized crime comes up, my family name (Abutbul in Hebrew) figures in there somewhere. OK, so the Netanya branch of our extremely distant family is a bit of an embarrassment, but the good news is that no one at the shuk fucks with me – and that’s even though Asi Abutbul was sentenced this month to 13 years in prison, convicted of activities related to his status as the ringleader of a criminal organization. Asi was the first prominent mobster convicted by an Israeli court under the Organized Crime Law.

In any case, fellow Canuck Douglas Century, wrote a five part series on the state of organized crime in Israel for Tablet Magazine:

As the economic opportunities contract—this year, according to Israel’s Central Bank, marked the country’s worst recession in its 61-year history—and as more and more of the market in this formerly socialist country is privatized, Israel’s underworld, once a dangerous if quaint West Side Story-like demimonde governed by its own code of honor, has rapidly morphed into a hellish landscape, similar to the blood-soaked world of the Camorra and Sicilian Mafia as rendered in the book Excellent Cadavers and the film Gomorra.

You can read part I here, part II here, part III here, part IV here and part V when it gets published later today or tomorrow. And don’t miss the photo essay where Century and photographer Antonin Kratochvil show you photos of the Tel Aviv underworld you’ll never, ever see in Time Out: Tel Aviv!

I enjoyed the essays, but as an insider I know Century missed out on mentioning the Arab mob families active in Israel. This would have been great because it is one of the few examples of Jews and Muslims cooperating in lucrative and money making enterprises. That would have added a great heart warming “Kumbaya” element to the story.

Maybe it’s just the fact that Tisha B’Av is winding down for me and I’m writing this in a spate of hunger/anger that rivals the Hulk’s.  But you know what I think is even more ridiculous than the fact that I’ve been craving Frappuccino/pizza/pretzels all day?  The fact that Jews can’t get married in Israel. Specifically, Russian Jews.  That made aliyah and served in the IDF and now can’t marry because the Rabbinate doesn’t recognize that they are Jewish.  And so they have to fly out of the country, and their huppah in Israel won’t count for anything.

The Orthodox rabbinate forbids a legal wedding to Olga and Nico. On Israel’s Valentine’s Day, Tu B’Av, August 4 at 7:00 PM Israel time, Nico Tarosyan will marry Olga Samosvatov. The festive public ceremony in Tel Aviv’s Dizengoff Square will promote awareness of the human cost of the Orthodox monopoly on Jewish marriage in Israel.

If you want to throw them some cash to get to Prague, where they will actually marry, or so Olga can  buy a hideous Israeli wedding dress that matches the completely hideous situation she had to go through just because she can’t get married legally in Israel,  donate some money to their flight to Prague. I, for one, am giving them $19.  Why $19?  $18 for chai. And $1 so I can pay to punch the people who make these decisions in the face.  Molodtsi, rebyata (kol hakavod) for furthering the cause.

A Jewish man and an African-American woman are both imprisoned, thousands of miles apart, under very disparate conditions. On this national day of mourning, Tisha B’Av, both deserve our attention.

Noam Shalit, the father of an Israeli soldier held by Hamas for more than 1,131 days, is asking that the U.S.’ scheduled aid package of $300 million to Gaza be delivered only after the release of his son. Gilad Shalit was abducted by Hamas in June, 2006. Noam Shalit recently testified before the Goldstone Committee, which is investigating illegal conduct by combatants during Operation Cast Lead on behalf of the United Nations, that Gilad’s abduction was a war crime according to the definitions of the Geneva Convention. The Israeli newspaper Ha’aretz reported that the elder Shalit also testified the abduction of his son preceded all the other events in the Gaza Strip: “the IDF siege on the territory, the launching of rockets by Palestinian groups, and finally the Israeli offensive – and argued that that action had resulted in the subsequent actions.”

For the more than three years Gilad has been held in captivity, he has not been visited by the Red Cross. No one even knows what has happened to him. And at no point has Hamas been required to release this information as a condition of foreign aid.

Please take a moment to sign this petition, which urges the U.S. to make its upcoming $300 million gift to Gaza dependent upon the release of Gilad Shalit. This petition will be delivered to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Please also share this message with your representatives in Congress. Just cut and paste this note into an email. The entire process takes only a minute or two. (more)

Today I got proof that I’m really a good Jewish boy. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as shrimp couscous before I read Lisa Goldman’s brilliant article in the Forward, in which she tells us the story behind the policy of Israel’s Foreign Ministry not to reimburse staffers for non-kosher business meals.

Surely, the policy was a case of religious coercion, said one lawyer friend. I wondered if Ali Yahya, an Israeli Arab who had served as ambassador to Helsinki and Athens, had been required to take his non-Jewish colleagues to kosher restaurants.

Finding myself at the foreign ministry on an unrelated matter, I stopped by the press department for a chat with the spokesman, Yigal Palmor, to ask what he thought of this kosher dining policy.

“It’s a totally irrational policy that creates an impossible situation,” Palmor said, without missing a beat. “There’s not a single decent kosher restaurant in the entire Galilee region – only kebab and hummus joints. Same goes for the Negev. So I’m supposed to take a delegation of Swedish diplomats on a tour of the north and stop for lunch at a hummus joint? It’s undignified and it creates a bad impression. And it’s hypocritical. Why would a secular Jew take a non-Jew to a kosher restaurant?”

Goldman also interviewed the guy responsible for the policy, who admits he himself doesn’t care much about kashrut.

Yitzhak Eldan, the chef de protocol, decided upon the ministry’s kosher-only policy several years ago. “Some people resisted it,” he said. “They made their opposition clear. But I never doubted this was the way a Jew should behave… I am not religious, but I believe that the policy of the ministry must reflect the sensitivities of all the people in the state of Israel, including the religious minority.”

Or maybe it just showed what an uncultured brute I am.

Heeeey there. It’s been more than a month (closer to two) since I’ve blogged. The reason can be distilled into one intense truth: I will never have more time than I have…right…NOW. (Or, as my brother likes to say, later is later.)  Or, if you will, a Carrie Bradshaw question: When you multitask, are you doing everything, or are you doing nothing?

Leaving that aside…on to my actual post.

Who believes in bad energy clusters? Raise your hand. It seems we (as a people) are about to commemorate one tonight and tomorrow, whether that’s what we want to call it or not. For the uninitiated (or the only slightly initiated) Tisha B’Av, a fast day second in seriousness only to Yom Kippur, starts tonight, culminating a three-week morning period which began with the fast of 17 Tammuz. 9 Av marks the day that BOTH temples in Jerusalem were destroyed, in addition to many other terrible things to befall the Jewish people over the years. (17 Tammuz has its own laundry list.)

If the baddies throughout history were anything like the bored hooligans in my neighborhood, it does not surprise me that stuff was burned down and smashed and people killed and chased during the summer. Riots seem to proliferate in the heat, and I seem to remember that it’s just not in Israel. I’d riot too if I didn’t have A/C. But that doesn’t account for all of it…there’s seems to be something simply unlucky going on.

So back to the bad energy.

There has been lots of stuff going on in our community this month, none of it too good, some of it actually terrible. For a few weeks starting right around when the three weeks did, there was one piece of bad news after another – deaths of friends’ parents, illnesses of friends, and even illnesses of friends’ children. (Statistically, I know, there is nothing out of the ordinary in a community full of middle aged people and 1000+ kids when a few people start to get sick and have their parents die. But the way it hit all at once, on top of a tragic car accident involving Bet Shemesh teens, on top of the Haredi riots mirroring those in Mea Shearim, and several other things that can be classified under ‘local bad stuff,’ it all just seemed like too much…)

So much, in fact, that the rabbi of our shul called for a special communal prayer, where the synagogue was half full on a regular weeknight to say psalms for the ill, etc.. Prayer and food. What else can you do?

Suburbia means that when your neighbor itches, you scratch. Especially Orthodox suburbia, where scratching thy neighbor’s itch is a high art and at times (and for some), a calling. Communal needs become your own, a natural part of life.

Most of the time, this is exactly how I think it needs to be, a page out of my philosophy. Be a giver, not a taker, and justify your existence on the planet, or else you can’t be guaranteed a spot. Cancel out the bad energy with good energy. Or something like that.

But sometimes…honestly (and what can I really add to the conversation other than honesty?)… I feel snitty and reclusive and resent all the communal responsibility for the other, which is vastly time consuming and, more than anything else, erodes privacy in the extreme. The fact that I blog (selectively telling whoever what I choose to tell you) doesn’t mean I’m not also intensely private; I hate that everyone here knows who has what, and who does what for who. We make Lynette, Gabi, Bree and Susan look like monks on a vow of silence where I live.

Caring and nosiness gently lap on these safe shores in a constant tide. Such is the Jewish way.

In fact, some of the people who are on the ill side of the beach struggle with the whole “do I ask for help or do I keep this private” thing, and several have chosen the latter, having close friends sworn to silence and receiving less “hessed” help, more quiet.

Another woman, on the other hand, recently told me that she has no idea why anyone would want to keep an illness to herself, and has felt so embraced by her friends during her struggle with early stage breast cancer that she can’t even imagine going through it without her wide circle of support. Most find a balance that is right for their comfort level, but invariably some people end up feeling both grateful for the kindness and overexposed.

Most of the time, I’m really glad to know 200 people have my back (and not only talk behind it.) It’s for real: There’s strength in a village. So I happily make (really good, I must say) soup and am just intensely grateful I can be on the giving end. It’s a blessing, and I know it, having in the past been a grateful and overexposed recipient.

(But damn it, my cabin on a rocky Maine beach awaits me in my mind.  Even though, if you read enough Stephen King, there’s no worse energy than in Maine.)

Today’s NYTimes carries an Op-Ed from Haaretz Editor Aluf Benn, “Why Won’t Obama Talk to Israel?” His article is clear and concise and asks who is the fool behind the Obama administration policy on the middle-east why has Obama pursued a policy of distancing Israel and Israelis?

He points to three places where Obama got it wrong with Israel and that his policies are counterproductive at best, and downright dangerous at worst:
1-Israelis became spoiled by unfettered presidential attention.
2-Mr. Obama’s quest for diplomacy has appeared to Israelis as dangerous American naïveté.
3-Mr. Obama seems to have confused American Jews with Israelis.

Benn points to recent Jerusalem Post poll of Israelis which indicated that only 6 percent of those surveyed considered the Obama administration to be pro-Israel. In other words, the stats show that Israelis read our Presidents name as barack HUSSEIN obama. Pro-Arab, Pro-Palestinian, luke warm on Israel, and empowering Iran.

Benn’s Op-Ed, from a leading left-wing Israel newspaper, reveals that J Street has taken Obama down the Wrong Street. Obama, Rahm and Axelrod have failed to create a viable policy for the Middle East, and Hilary over in State is kept on a short leash in the dog house.

There is a great positive part of all of this.

Obama has gotten 94% of Israelis to agree on something.

Even with American Jews split on Obama’s direction, it is better for the survival of the Jewish people that Israelis are unified, than American Jews.

Meet Ottawa academic Hassan Diab. Thirty years ago, in the first attack against the French Jewish community since the Nazi era, 4 people were murdered in an explosion at a synagogue on the Rue Copernic. French authorities issued a warrant in November 2007 for Diab’s arrest, following a lead from German intelligence saying he was involved in the October 1980 bombing. Now awaiting deportation hearings, Diab is set to teach a class on Intro to Sociology at Carleton University in Ottawa this summer, as a last minute replacement for another professor who bailed. If you are planning on taking Intro to Sociology this summer at Carleton, don’t. Carleton seriously sucks. You’d be better off taking a 6-week certificate course on video production or something. Then at least you can re-brand yourself as an interdisciplinary artist and get a job with some clueless organization. This is especially true if you are visibly Jewish. I mean why take a chance?

I’m not opposed to his bail conditions which include him having to live with his common law wife even though he recently cheated on her. The presumption of innocence is the presumption of innocence after all. I am also heartened by the support he has received from members of the Arab community who have testified to his good character, the presumption being that actual Arab terrorists have bad characters. That’s something isn’t it?

But yeah. Intro to Sociology at Carleton. Stay far, far away David Goldstein and Leah Levy. Just sayin’ is all.

Source: Vancouver Sun and a hat tip to Yankel.

Seriously. Spare me the self important Social Networking Experts. Or yet another full of himself tech guru. Ben Cabelli, man. He is the shit. I can’t even tell you what he does. I guess if you’re anal and have to define everything, you could say Industrial designer. Or Interior Decorator. Or Artist. Or Auto Mechanic. Anyhow, enjoy the video below, shot in the Florentin district of Tel Aviv where people still actually work with their hands and build things you can actually hold. Ben was interviewed by our friend, muse and ROI Alum Talya Lev and the video is a Jewlicious/LeadelNet co-production.

Golly. What a pleasure it is to work with professionals. Please by all means make it a point to visit LeadelNet for an eclectic collection of videos and commentary. Follow their harried intern on twitter. Whatever, just check them out! And stay tuned for more videos from LeadelNet and other co-productions.

If the embedded video doesn’t work, just go see the vid here.

As you may be aware, living in Israel can have serious consequences.  That’s because the State of Israel commits horrible crimes against humanity every day. These manifest themselves in the form of hideous Israeli wedding dresses.  Since we are knee-deep in wedding season, I thought I’d take a moment to remind you that tomorrow is Hideous Israeli Wedding Dress Awareness Day (HIWDAD), a day that was made up by me just about fifteen minutes ago as I was going through Facebook pictures of Israeli weddings.   To be fair, Benji Lovitt has been valiantly fighting this troubling trend for years.

If you are familiar with Israeli weddings, you know this dress has been popular for the past five years or so.  You know, the one with the barely-there middle that seems the be reenacting the parting of the Sea that exists between the bride’s upper chestal region and her navel.  (yes, chestal.)

Did I really have to witness folks cheering Ahmadinejad at a Jewish Film Festival? Was it absolutely necessary to be subjected to the catcalls and the rudeness of the anti-Israel crowd who tried to drown out a pro-Israel speakers voice? Are Jewish community funds really being spent to provide a venue to an audience that cheers at the thought of boycotts and divestment against Israel?

The JTA reported that:

Despite festival director Peter Stein’s plea not to interrupt or disrespect any element of the screening, including speakers before or after, many audience members hissed, booed and shouted at those whose opinions clashed with their own… The booed opinions nearly always were supportive of Israel.

So much for Stein’s hopes for a “civic discourse.” And the worst part of this? The really worst part, is that as a community we’ve just reinforced erroneous notions about the situation in the middle east held even by otherwise knowledgeable and involved people like Charles Bronfman as witnessed by a recent opinion piece he authored in Haaretz. In that piece, Bronfman, head of the Andrea and Charles Bronfman Philanthropies and one of the founders of Taglit Birthright Israel, implied that it is the lack of peace in the Middle East that is creating divisions between Israeli and diaspora Jewry – that the disconnect many young Jews feel with Israel and Judaism has at its root the pounding Israel’s image gets in the media and in political discourse.

Bronfman was however correct in noting that:

Israel is having limited success in telling its side of the story, according to Bronfman, who last week concluded one of many short visits to Israel. “We turned from David to Goliath in 1982, with the invasion into Lebanon, and the Arabs became David. Now everybody’s worried about the Palestinians. Now we’re occupiers, oppressors, who live by the sword. That’s what you see in the media and it festers and has effects on the general population and on Jews as well.”

And therein lies the rub. Israel may not be a perfect country. At 61 years of age, it is still in early stages of its national development. But in our desire to address criticism, we’ve allowed ourselves to begin a self-questioning process that the other side has never, ever engaged in. We’ve allowed the focus of criticism to be pointed solely at Israel while infantilizing the Palestinians by not holding them up to the same standards. The issue isn’t Israel’s intransigence with respect to seeking Peace. The issue isn’t Israel’s conduct in defending itself against enemies who to this day wish for nothing more than to wipe us off the face of the earth. The issue is that we have, as a community, abdicated our responsibility to present the facts and tell the world exactly what it is that is going on here. Who are we supposed to have peace with? A Palestinian leadership divided into two camps, one that openly calls for our destruction and another that just keeps those aspirations quietly hidden away from Western observers?

The format of the presentation of Simone Bitton’s film Rachel by the SFJFF served only to further alienate Jews from Israel and from their Judaism. There was no constructive dialog, there was no nuanced analysis. It was a boneheaded move of epic proportions. The audience and the event was dominated by members of the International Jewish Anti-Zionist Network who posted a message on IndyBay.org asking “for those against Israeli apartheid to have a presence at the film and oppose Zionists who are trying to shut the movie down and prevent Cindy Corrie from speaking.” The valiant guardians of free speech were the ones booing any statement they disagreed with. As a community, we gave these fuckers a stage. We granted them a measure of legitimacy. And how much have we advanced the cause of peace in the Middle East? Not one little bit. Not one tiny iota. We are fucking idiots.

Last year Amy Winehouse was charged with assault for allegedly punching a dancer in the face backstage at a charity event. Because of the pending charges she was unable to get a visa to perform at Coachella in California in April. Last Friday she was cleared of all charges after the Judge determined that “Having heard the evidence from all the witnesses, I cannot be sure that this was not an accident…” Winehouse has also unburdened herself of husband/leach Blake Fielder-Civil who has reportedly been dating a 16 year old and impregnated a heroin addict he met in rehab. Nice. Here’s hoping Amy will be back on track with her carreer. The video below is from the charity event and features Amy Winehouse performing Marvin Gay’s “Heard it through the Grape Vine” with Paul Weller (!!!). Enjoy!

Source: Reuters

As you may already know, Bruno and Brigitta Bitter of Budapest had a boy last week. The ROI alums and the dude behind Hungarian Jew blog Judapest have always been, shall we say, entertaining. But now they’re just plain ridiculous. In a few hours, their boy will be joining the Jewish people in the fulfillment of the Abarahamic covenant. His name? Benjamin. That’s right. Bruno and Brigitta Bitter of Budapest will name their baby boy Benjamin at his bris.

Blimey! Try saying that fast 7 times. Seriously, try it.

Dear friend,

It’s your birthday today, and of course, you’re on the mind and in the hearts of your favourite Zionists.

We’d have baked you a cake, but it was too hot today, so we got you ice cream. We’ve popped in two lactase pills and some fruit – we do care a lot about you afterall!

Happy Birthday to you and a happy, healthy and wonderful new year of life!

Your beloved Zionist friends

Vicki has been generously sharing her perspective at Jewlicious. But this week, she’s also sharing the wealth with Tolerant Nation.

Grey Goose vs. Black Bear
The bridge between Russian-Jewish relations is paved with rail drinks
By Vicki Boykis

Often, when I am at one Jewish gathering or another, people ask me where I’m from. These kinds of questions have been particularly loud lately, with Obama’s visit to Russia, which ended with him being ejected out of the country in a cannon

Usually, they ask me because I’m wearing my “Ask me about my post-Soviet Jewish Troubles” button. “Oh, so gledd yu esked mi,” I reply perkily, dusting it off. “Ai em from Ruhsha. Mai famili eemigrated ven de Soviet Union kollapsed een 1991.”

“Oh, how was that,” the unsuspecting party usually asks sympathetically, associating Russia with refuseniks, Natan Sharansky and vodka made of 50% rubbing alcohol.

“It was pretty bad,” I say, conveniently omitting the fact that I was only five years old and the most stress I faced when leaving Russia was spilling airline food onto myself one hour into our trans-Atlantic flight. (more)

Hey Comrade! Are you Jewish and can write in Russian? Do you enjoy Jewlicious and want to help spread our goodness to the Russian speaking world? Or do you merely want to figure out a way to have meaningful dialog with ROI alum and Jewlicious.ru Editor Tanya Gutsol? Then why not write for Jewlicious.ru? We can’t promise you any money but we can promise you higher visibility in the Jewish world, a certain measure of fame and maybe, just maybe an authentic Versace shirt. You know, the classy one with that Versace logo Grecian motif? Da Tavarich! Real Versace! OK, maybe I was kidding about the Versace shirt. But Tanya is indeed looking for a few good writers. So if you want to help out, please contact Tanya at tanya@jewlicious.ru and see what you can do! As for the rest of you, should you want to support the mission of Jewlicious.ru, you can make a donation to Jewlicious.ru via PayPal or buy a snazzy Rucking Fussians t-shirt (or thong or boxer shorts or whatever) from our Cafe Press shop. Dos Vedanya Comrade or should I say До свидания, товарищ!

Some Jewish students in Southern New Jersey were surprised to find federal agents removing some data from the Deal Yeshiva Jack and Rachel Adjmi Learning Center this morning. In a coordinated effort to make arrests, U.S. federal agents from the Internal Revenue Service and the FBI arrested two New Jersey mayors, a smattering of rabbis, and a few others for money laundernig and corruption.

According to The New York Times, The Newark Star-Ledger and the NJ Asbury Park Press, over thirty politicians and others were arrested in an early morning sweep.

Rabbis from Brooklyn NY and Deal and Elberon NJ (along the Jersey shore) were taken into federal custody.

The politicians seem to have been caught taking payoffs from an informant interested in real estate developments. Some say that part of the case began with when Solomon Dwek was arrested for bank fraud in 2006 for passing a bad $25 million check. Yes. $25 MILLION. Dwek, the angelic looking son of a prominent rabbi, Rabbi Isaac Dwek, turned informant after he was arrested and had to file bankruptcy. He was accused of owing $400 million to his creditors.

Some of the non politicians who were accused included Mordchai Fish (a/k/a “Mordechai Fisch,” a/k/a “Martin Fisch,”) who served as a rabbi for Congregation Sheves Achim, a synagogue located in Brooklyn; Lavel Schwartz, (a/k/a “Albert Schwartz,”), the Rabbi Fish’s brother who also served as a rabbi, and Yolie Gertner (a/k/a “Yoely Gertner,”). Arye Weiss was accused of conspiring with Eliahu “Eli” Ben Haim, the principal rabbi of Congregation Ohel Yaacob of Deal, New Jersey and the leader of several charitable tax-exempt organizations, and a coconspirator in Israel to launder funds. Also, Moshe Altman (a/k/a “Michael Altman”) was accused of conspiring with a Jersey City Building Inspector to obstruct and extort. Shimon Haber, a real estate developer, has been accused of conspiring with Altman and Itzak Friedlander. Charles Amon is accused of meet with a person at a restaurant in Lakewood, New Jersey. to hatch a scheme wherein the person would make corrupt payments to a public official in Lakewood Township in exchange for permitting the person to illegally utilize a residence in Lakewood as a commercial office.

In one of the craziest indictments, Levy Izhak Rosenbaum of Brooklyn was accused of conspiring to broker the sale of a human kidney for a transplant for $160,000 USD. Rosenbaum told the undercover FBI agents, posing as a businessperson and his assistant who needed the kidney for an ill uncle, that he had a decade of experience brokering deals between U.S. patients and Israelis with extra body parts. “I am what you call a matchmaker,” Rosenbaum said, according to the criminal complaint. He warned the undercover FBI agents that buying and selling human organs is against the law. Therefore, the payment would be a gift for the donor’s time, he told them. I wonder if the kidney was smooth…. I mean, “glatt.”

What a nice way to wake up.

By James Kirchick
Originally published by the Forward

When the self-described “pro-Israel, pro-peace” group J Street was founded over a year ago, many in the Jewish community predicted that it would have little to no influence in the shaping of American foreign policy. While American Jews are indeed overwhelmingly left-of-center in their political orientation, they also happen to hold rather hawkish views on Israel. A 2007 American Jewish Committee survey found that the overwhelming majority of American Jews believes that Israel “cannot achieve peace with a Hamas-led, Palestinian government” and that “the goal of the Arabs is not the return of occupied territories but rather the destruction of Israel” — views sharply at odds with J Street’s support for engagement with Hamas and its tendency to accuse Israel of hindering the peace process.

J Street’s moral relativism was on full display in its reaction to last year’s Operation Cast Lead. None other than Rabbi Eric Yoffie, head of the Reform movement and one of America’s most prominent liberal Jewish leaders, admonished the organization in these very pages, describing its denunciation of Israel’s military operation against Hamas as “very wrong” and “deeply distressing.” Despite its claims, J Street does not represent mainstream Jewish opinion in this country, let alone in Israel, where the Jewish population was nearly unanimous in its support for Cast Lead. Yet notwithstanding the Jewish community’s rejection of J Street’s vision, the organization seems to have garnered the support of the most important constituency of all: the Obama administration.

Read the rest of this piece in the Forward.

Actually, the world doesn’t care.

I had to hear about it from Kelsey who heard about it from The Forward which heard about it from the JTA which actually unearthed this story.

I guess the JTA is more useful than bloggers.

In any case, in a nutshell the story is this: in Greece, a nationally broadcast telethon for a Christian hospital in Gaza ran for several hours. The telethon claimed the hospital was destroyed by Israel. It ran for some days and even received public support from Greece’s leaders.

The telethon included recorded video messages by Greek President Carolos Papoulias and Foreign Minister Dora Bakoyianni, along with a parade of Greek politicians, singers, public personalities and trade unionists. Many used the telethon to cast broadsides at Israel.

The campaign raised $1.67 million, according to telethon organizers, who said little Greek children had gone so far as to break their piggy banks to offer $14 to Palestinians in need.

There was no such hospital. Apparently it was fictitious.

But Israel got beat up in the telethon and the press anyway.

As for the false story, It’s a little like the birth of Jesus…nobody is taking responsibility. A virgin birth indeed.

Nine cool Jews and Jewish businesses have donated $175 worth of gifts in celebration of “Tu B’Av,” a day on the Jewish calendar for sweethearts. In ancient times, Tu B’Av was celebrated by young single women dressing in white and shaking their groove things in vineyards; young men from all 12 tribes would sneak-a-peek, hoping to find their future wives. Today, you can celebrate in similar fashion — at parties rather than vineyards — on August 5th.

There are two ways to win the Cool Jew Love Day Gift Box:

(1) Enter to win at http://tinyurl.com/lovedaygiveaway by submitting your answer to this question:”What Do You Love About Being Jewish?” We’ll announce a winner online on August 5th!

(2) If you are in LA, celebrate at LoveFest 2009, organized by JConnectLA and featuring live performances by Moshav, Rav Shmuel, DJ Eric Rosen and more. One lucky guest will be chosen to win the Cool Jew Love Day Gift Box. Join LoveFest at 8 pm, August 5th, at the Bungalo Club in Los Angeles. CoolJewBook.com and ModernTribe.com are co-sponsors of this event! For more information, visitjconnectla.com.

The Cool Jew Love Day Gift Box contains:

* Ladino chanteuse Sarah Aroeste’s “Puertas” CD (retail value $15)
* Heeb magazine’s “Night of the Living Jews” DVD
with the uncut version of “Strip Dreidel” ($12.50)
* Jewcy.com’s signature thong ($12)
* Author Lisa Alcalay Klug’s book
Cool Jew: The Ultimate Guide for Every Member of the Tribe ($13)
* Naomi Less’ “Meshuga’at” CD, Jewish Chicks Rock
women’s tank top and temporary tattoos ($30)
* Mashuga Nuts – kosher dairy sweets – from TornRanch.com ($15)
* Moshav’s “Higher & Higher: The Best of the Moshav Band” CD ($18)
* Jennie Rivlin Roberts’ “No Limit Texas Dreidel” game
from ModernTribe.com ($20)
* Threaded Heritage’s “Ahava” Love t-shirt ($39)

(No purchase is required to enter. This contest is open to residents of the U.S. and Canada 18 years old and older.)

Take a Moment for Fun and Enter Now

Some time ago,  I read Shush! Growing Up Jewish Under Stalin by Emil Draitser and reviewed it my website (because it’s clear I save Jewlicious writing for more serious endeavors such as wondering if I’m blonde enough to be like Anastasia Samuelson). Recently, I had the chance to interview Dr. Draister, a Professor of Russian at Hunter College in New York City.  You can read all about it here.

Muffti is in beautiful Budapest and stopped by Apuchka to have a drink with ROI alum Bruno Bitter of Judapest, who is the new father of a gorgeous baby boy (Benjamin Arion). He couldn’t stay long but he met some of Bruno’s family and friends and he’s happy to say that he hasn’t seen a happier man than Bruno in a long time. Mazel tov to Bruno and Brigitta (also an ROI alum!)!

Sorry for the shortness of post but Muffti has to run to the University. Hope y’all are having a great summer.