Shidduch Crisis Solved!

It was right under my nose the whole time!

So I was watching excerpts from “Unattached” , a Documentary Channel film, about the Shidduch Crisis focused on the Upper West Side of New York. Many in the Modern Orthodox world are concerned because young MO Jews are getting married later and later, foregoing marriage for career and school. The fears expressed include concerns about what this means for declining Jewish birth rates overall. Here’s the vid:

All sorts of solutions have been proposed for this problem but none seem to be working. As I thought of this I glanced at a chart I was reading regarding population figures in the West Bank and Gaza:

VI. West Bank & Gaza Strip: Arab Population (1948-2005)
B. Chart


Year

West Bank

Gaza Strip


1948 462,100 82,500

1950* 765,000 240,000

1960 799,000 302,000

1970** 677,000 368,000

1980 964,000 497,000

1985 1,044,000 532,288

1990 1,254,506 642,814

1995 1,626,689 875,231

2000 2,020,298 1,132,063

2005 2,385,615 1,376,289

So what do we see here? The result of 61 years of Zionist genocide against the Palestinian people. That’s right. After 61 years of relentless war crimes, the victim population in the West Bank and Gaza has seen its numbers explode from 544,600 people in 1948 to 3,761,904 in 2005. I know. You’re thinking “What is he going on about?” Well, clearly the Zionist usurpers totally SUCK at Genocide! We didn’t lerarn anything from the Nazis! They killed 6 million Jews in like, less than 5 years. While being at war with the allies! And also while killing all sorts of other people. Now that’s a Genocide you can bank on, whereas our Genocide causes populations to explode! Do you see where I’m getting here?

shidduchsolved

Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.

14 Comments

  1. Sarah J

    8/3/2009 at 5:55 pm

    What you’re getting at is that you think Zionist Genocide of Palestinians is a myth *rolls eyes*

    Very subtle.

    • ck

      8/3/2009 at 6:33 pm

      Sarah J: I’ve documented the population figures. The link I pointed to is full of citations as well. If this is Genocide, it’s the most inept Genocide ever.

  2. themiddle

    8/3/2009 at 5:56 pm

    Hilarious! One of your best posts ever!

  3. themiddle

    8/3/2009 at 5:59 pm

    Sarah, that was very perceptive.

    But I know why you’re confused. He forgot to mention the universities built by the Jewish state for the Palestinians in the Territories. Just another part of the genocide.

  4. D.B. Cooper

    8/3/2009 at 6:39 pm

  5. Tom Morrissey

    8/3/2009 at 8:34 pm

    Build a security fence up above the West Side Highway– that should keep the nubile gentiles out.

  6. Ephraim

    8/3/2009 at 10:09 pm

    According to my (now happily married) son, who did not find his wife on the UWS, that is indeed a pretty accurate depiction of the dating scene there. If so, that’s just really, really sad.

    Two things struck me about the video:

    1. The woman who made the film looks pretty hot. I wonder if she’s single. ;-)
    2. The first guy who came on talking about what he’s looking for in a woman needs to have a boot planted firmly up his stuck-up, self-important, pretentious little ass to replace the broomstick he’s got up there now. If he’s a typical UWS MO guy, it’s no wonder none of the women can find a guy to marry. What woman in her right mind would want to put up with such a smamry little shit?

    And, Sarah, (or, I should say, Captain Obvious) the supposed “genocide” of the Pseudostinians is exactly what CK implied it is: an utter fiction cooked up to fool the naifs, which you clearly seem to be, inasmusch as you seem to believe it is actually happening, even though the evidence shows clearly that nothing of the sort is going on. More people=no genocide. It’s pretty simple.

    As Inigo Montoya said, “You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means”.

  7. anonymous

    8/4/2009 at 6:35 am

    interesting point about the gaza geonicide, but how does that translate to solving the shidduch crisis? should we begin our ‘genocide’ on the jewish singles in order for their numbers to explode?

  8. rejewvenator

    8/4/2009 at 7:16 am

    V’cha’asher Ya’anu oto, ken yirbe v’chen yifrotz.

    And the more they oppressed them, the more the multiplied and grew.

    (Ex. 1:12)

    Maybe the exceptional fertility of the Palestinians is a sign of Divine favor for their cause.

  9. zwi

    8/4/2009 at 6:41 pm

    hi this is an interesting website:

    shidduchdategu...

    regards

  10. Ben-David

    8/5/2009 at 12:14 am

    Who will man the checkpoints? The thought of anxious Jewish mothers armed with AK’s and Uzi’s…

  11. ck

    8/5/2009 at 5:01 am

    Ben-David: In Israel, only security guards use Uzis these days, and no one uses AK-47s. I’m not sure how this is going to work but the idea is that Genocidal Zionazi IDF troops will go to New York and do to Upper West Side Jews whatever it is they are doing to Palestinians. Can you imagine?? In 20 years we can double the number of Jews in New York!! Double!!! I figure the sudden and massive presence of buff tanned Israelis will in and of itself lead to an immediate baby boom if’n ya know what I mean…

    And zw? shidduchdategu... is like the coolest Jewish Web application I’ve seen this week! OK so I won’t be going on any shidduch dates any time soon, it’s a great list of places to go on innocent dates around the world – though really? I never understood the Hotel Lobby thing.

  12. Grand Muffti

    8/5/2009 at 7:55 am

    Genocide is, by the lights of the UN:

    any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such: killing members of the group; causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group; deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life, calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part; imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group; [and] forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.

    This is a vague definition — we are used to thinking of genocide as the elimination of an entire group of people identified by race, ethnic, racial or religious identity. But the definition allows for a notion of ‘in part’ which makes it rather difficult to apply very carefully. Nonetheless, by the lights of the definition it does not seem like a contradiction that a group could commit genocide against another group and still the latter’s total numbers overall increase. Which also means that Ephraim’s simple formulation of “More people=no genocide. It’s pretty simple.” is simply inaccurate on a technical level.

    Of course, as the word is usually tossed around, CK seems clearly right.

    However, people like throwing around these words, like ‘genocide’, ‘segregation’, ‘war crime’ for effect, but anyone who is serious about modern political discourse doesn’t sit around trying to convince people that Israel is genocidal in the popular sense of total eradication of a group – they think that Israel’s long term treatment of the Palestinians is morally flawed. This, Muffti thinks, is a claim worth taking very seriously whether you agree or utterly disagree and should be examined (along with all other claims like this). Taking on people using words like ‘genocide’ for effect and doing the easy job of refuting them is a bit like taking a high school paper on War and Peace and treating it like a Phd thesis. In other words, beneath you.

  13. Ephraim

    8/10/2009 at 3:32 am

    No, it is not “beneath us” when people actually believe it is happening when it is clearly not.

    It’s a weasel definition, I agree, but the key clause is “calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part”.. In other words, shooting a terrorist between the eyes is only genocide if it is part of an attempt to destroy the people to which the terrorist belongs. Otherwise, he’s just a dead terrorist.

    And if you are trying to destroy a group, either in whole or in part, you don’t offer them a state, time and time again.

    By that definition, it is the Pseudostinians who are the genocidaires, not the Israelis. They shout from the rooftops “We are going to kill all the Jews and destroy Israel!” and “Israel says “take a state…..please”, and people scream “Israeli genocide!”, I mean, WTF?

    The other thing, if you’re parsing things like a lawyer or a philosopher, is that a people has to actually exist before you cannot commit genocide against it. The Pseudostinians are a figment of the imagination. There is no such people and there never has been.

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