Boobquake Causes Actual Earthquake??

boobquake

Do fries go with that shake?

It started last week when Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazim Sadeghi stated that “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes.” In response to that, Purdue University senior Jennifer McCreight declared April 26th, “Boobquake” and encouraged women nationwide “to show a little skin today, hoping to prove to the sheik that a little shake never killed anyone.” However, things got off to a rocky start when at 11 am EST a 6.9 magnitude earthquake hit Taiwan.

But ladies, don’t go buttoning up that shirt just yet for fear of causing more natural disasters. After a thorough statistical analysis on her Web site, McCreight noted that “Not only did all of the earthquakes on boobquake fall within the normal range of magnitudes, but the mean magnitude actually decreased slightly!” McCreight also admitted that the decrease was not statistically significant, but in any case it certainly did nothing to support Sadeghi’s already tenuous hypothesis. Boobquake has already spawned Brainquake – a day for women to “show off their resumes, CVs, honors, prizes, and accomplishments.” Probably not as fun as Boobquake but I “facebook liked it” so go check out their page.

In conclusion, it is clear that what we need to do in response to this outrageous and unfounded assault on boobies, is invade Iran. Obviously.

Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.

5 Comments

  1. DK

    4/27/2010 at 11:26 am

    How do we know when an earthquake was caused by cleavage, and how do we know when it was caused by slighting the Gedoylim?

  2. Ben-David

    4/27/2010 at 3:18 pm

    Boob+quake=

    youtube.com/wa...

  3. josh

    4/27/2010 at 3:20 pm

    I would agree with the Muslim on this. Public cleavage is not good and divorces are up and ever increasing.

  4. Modern Girl

    4/28/2010 at 5:59 am

    Josh,

    I don’t think cleavage is causing divorces. People who dress modestly can cheat, and lie, and grow apart just as well. Showing more skin will not make you more likely to leave your husband. There’s no statistics to help you on this one.

    You can say that divorce (at least in North America) has increased since the women’s liberation movement, when showing more skin started to increase. But the reality is that the women’s liberation movement directly influenced a change in the social acceptability of divorce. Once divorce was more acceptable, people who wanted one (or needed one) started divorcing. And ending “divorce” won’t end unhappy marriages.

    If you sincerely want to cut down on divorce, here’s the answer: Society needs to stop pressuring young people into marrying so young, and we need to stop the whole Disney-magical-happy-ending-heteronormative-love-story myth that exists in the world. We need to teach people that love and relationships are something that need to be worked at, and aren’t just a magical thing that just happen.

  5. Jonny

    9/18/2011 at 1:00 am

    Divorce rates have practically nothing to do with cleavage. Rising divorce rates have to do with something far more damaging and pernicious. Have we forgotten already that feminism is to blame for the breakdown of marriage and family? Feminists have said quite clearly that they must destroy marriage and the family before they can accomplish their goals.

    Fortunately they haven’t succeeded and marriage and families still exist, but they did succeed in spreading promiscuity and disease. They convince insecure little girls that being masculine is better than being feminine. The irony of feminism is that it actually preaches masculinity. It preaches it for women and seeks to strip men of it. Does Feminism even have anything to do with femininity?

    I will say this about cleavage. Most women who bear cleavage do so to feel they have power over men and thus power over each other. It is a display of masculine dominance using female appendages. This male trapped in a woman’s body is certainly contributing to the breakdown of marriage and family simply by removing herself as a candidate for marriage. Motivated by rage she engages in masculine pursuits in lieu of breast-feeding the offspring she would’ve otherwise had. To cope with her own rejection of maternal instincts, she professes that child-bearing is beneath her. The only breast-feeding she does are the pathetic scraps she throws to a random bad-boy / boy-toy on the weekend and engages in a physical activity that resembles what occurs at a butcher’s shop rather than the cosmic experience that poets write about. She has made her heart so cold and barren that she begins to think that pure and sacrificial intimate love with another human being is a myth and that everyone else must be faking it. Well my dear you might as well be right, for its blood is upon your hands and your heart can no-longer cry for justice

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