How To Stop An Irish Flotilla

fauxtilla_000


and beat them at their own game!

You need bag pipes, food and beer. I’m not joking. Here is my plan.

STAGE ONE
Send several boats with bagpipes blowing traditional Israeli folk tunes. Each welcome vessel should have 100 of the best behaved Israeli soldiers aboard waving Irish Flags. A welcome proclamation should be issued, declaring a Day of Irish Jewish Heritage. Large banners hanging off the Israeli boats read in English “Welcome To Israel” and “Éirinn go Brách (Ireland Forever)” ” In Heaven there is no beer, that is why we drink it here.”

STAGE TWO
After the flag waving and music, a small pontoon boat approaches each side of the boat for the dangerous mission of bringing plates of pita and chumous, Marzipan ruggaleh, and cases of domestic Israeli beer.

STAGE THREE
Other plates would have Irish Whiskey, Irish stew, beef bacon and cabbage, boxty, coddle, and colcannon. Blankets, suntan lotion, beach balls, and other gift items would be handed over to the protesters on board.

The people on the boat will be either visibly moved or start throwing these gifts back at the people bringing them. Perhaps even raining down on them with refuse from the boat. The soldiers stand their ground, and take anything that comes to them – all of this being filmed and witnessed by teams of international Journalist that have embedded into the Navy.

STAGE FOUR
The people on the boat will likely be hesitant to take any of the gifts. In fact they may throw them in the ocean. It’s ok. Seeing the Irish Protesters throwing gifts away will be a huge embarrassment to the Irish mafia running the ship, and replayed millions of times on YouTube, BBC, CNN and others.

Stage four ends in three aerobatic planes from the Israeli Air Force flying over head trailing green air-show smoke, forming the Peace sign.

STAGE FIVE
After a minimum of ten waves of gift laden boats are not successful, things get more serious. A floating saloon is pull up along side the boat, complete with dozens of darts, and cold draft beer, but also a more extensive Irish Menu.

STAGE SIX
Israel prepares the red carpet treatment for the Irish and international protesters. Many are put up at Gaza Hotels while all their personal belongings etc are screened by the border patrol and the boat is turned upside-down. Everyone gets a gift certificate to some great attractions in Israel, a day at the Dan Hotel in Tel Aviv and Jeruaslem, visit Yad VaShem, and O’Connels pub in Jerusalem.

Now let’s set aside for now that this Irish Flotilla could be delivering aid the the impoverished North of Ireland that has been under British rule since 1921. This is only one set of ideas, and it is 3am – I am sure that the Israelis can come up with something equally creative and effective beyond dropping soldiers onto the boat.


8 Comments

  1. Liron Kopinsky

    6/4/2010 at 6:44 am

    10 Rounds of Gifts? Even Yaakov Avinu didn’t send Esav that many gifts (mechon-mamre.o...)

  2. Sean Fitzgerald

    6/5/2010 at 7:09 pm

    As an Irish person, I don’t even know where to begin. Actually, I do. Fuck you, and congratulations on being the most hated country on the planet. Also, stick your “Irish Whiskey, Irish stew, beef bacon and cabbage, boxty, coddle, and colcannon” up your bigoted hole.

    I’ve seen more intelligent shit posted down toilets.

  3. RadioHead

    6/6/2010 at 9:09 pm

    Hey Sean I’m shocked the captain of your retarded ship wasn’t trashed out of his mind and actually found his way to Israel! Congrats, I seriously mean it! You should be proud!

  4. bokke

    6/6/2010 at 11:08 pm

    Why would you hate Ireland simply for sending aid to Gaza? Maybe if the israelis didn’t starve them out the flotillas wouldn’t be needed.

  5. RadioHead

    6/7/2010 at 11:19 am

    Bokke – maybe Israel should never of given that land to the Palestinians to begin with. And clearly your lack of knowledge is embarrassing. Hamas is the one torturing there own people and when Palestinian women and children need medical assistance they go to Israeli doctors NOT terrorists for help or guidance. Why dont you do us all a favor and research both sides of the story. If you need a starting point I will gladly assist you. Lemme know …

  6. Lassus

    9/24/2010 at 2:11 pm

    The world starts to know who is Israel, what kind of state is, also the world start to know who is palestinians .
    Before when you heard about palestinians you think about terroris and this is because because the malicious and vecious zionism propaganda , now the world begins to realize how vecious and savage and terrorist state this so called Israshit.

    Only the true can confront the injustice.
    Long live justice, long live Palestine.

    A justice lover from Finland

    • themiddle

      9/24/2010 at 5:15 pm

      Uh no, Lassus, when you heard Palestinians and thought “terrorists” it’s because they proved themselves very capable at blowing up planes with innocent people and schools with innocent people and buses with innocent people and restaurants with innocent people, etc.

  7. Lassus

    10/9/2010 at 11:13 am

    i wonder why the whoe word hate you. you are taking palestinian land and you are crying as victims.

    ONLY THE TRUTH CONFRONTE THE INJUSTICE.

    LONG LIVE PAESTINIAN PEOPEL DOWN WITH FASCHISM!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>