The Unofficial Guide to Drugs on Birthright Israel

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Registration for the next round of free trips to Israel with Birthright Israel begin on September 13/14 2011. If you’re Jewish, between the ages of 18-26 and have never been on a peer-based trip to Israel, this is your opportunity to enjoy a free 10-day trip to the Land of Milk and Honey! You can get more information on the Birthright Israel site. There’s lots of information available there. Lots and lots. But not everything you need/want to know.

That oversite is what inspired our Unofficial Guide to Sex on Birthright Israel and it is what inspired our decision to compile this guide on getting high in the Holy Land. I mean why not? You’re not at work, you’re traveling with your friends in an exotic setting – what’s wrong with a little recreational pharmaceutical fun? Before you contemplate such a course of action there are a number of things you ought to know.

There is no right against unreasonable search and seizure in Israel
Yup. Even if you’re American, Israeli police are allowed to search you any time they feel like it. The Fourth Amendment’s privacy rights will not protect you here. And when the po-po stop someone Jewish, between the ages of 18 and 26, the thing they’ll be looking for the most is illegal narcotics. If they find any, you’re going to jail. And that’s just for starters.

Drug transactions in Israel involving tourists usually don’t end well
At best you’ll get ripped off – you’ll either be sold something that isn’t drugs, like a bag of dried parsley instead of weed or an aspirin instead of ecstasy – or the “drug dealer” will simply take your money and give you nothing in return. What are you going to do? Complain to the Police? Not likely. Fight? I doubt it. Heck, if I had the opportunity, I’d rip you off too, just on principle. Another thing you might want to consider is that the way the authorities keep the drug situation under control in Israel is by using a network of snitches. These are petty criminals who stay out of prison by ratting out other criminals. Thus, even if you do get your hands on drugs, you might be met with an unwanted interaction with the local constabulary a few moments after scoring. Afterwards, you will go to jail. In either case, you won’t get high.

Marijuana in Israel mostly sucks
A businessman/pothead friend of mine who occasionally visits Israel tells me that because of the relatively low quality of the weed in Israel, he has to smoke three times as much in order to get sufficiently high. After one week of this, his voice gets all scratchy and he develops a persistent cough. Do you really want to risk jail and deportation for a little skunk weed?

Cocaine in Israel mostly sucks
Blow is not indigenous to the Middle East. As such it has to be smuggled in from far away. By the time it gets into the hands of coke heads, it is so stepped on that it is mostly pablum. It is so stepped on that I have seen otherwise dedicated users refuse to imbibe. It is so stepped on that old people use it as a naughty pick me up. Despite its suckiness, it still costs around $100 a gram.

Ecstasy in Israel mostly isn’t
I’m sure you’ve read all the newspaper accounts involving Israeli drug kingpins flooding Europe and the US with high quality ecstasy. Perhaps you assumed that this drug would be readily and cheaply available throughout Israel. If so then maybe you ought to lay off the drugs a little given that all said Israelis are in the news because they have been arrested and their operations shut down. Anyone selling you Ecstasy in Israel is actually selling you something else. What that something else is, is anyone’s guess.

Hashish in Israel comes from terrorists
If it didn’t involve so many dead people, the story of how hash gets into Israel is kind of heartwarming. It is the only time Lebanese-based terrorists cooperate with Israelis in the furtherance of mutually beneficial transactions. The drug wholesalers approach the fence separating Israel from Lebanon and throw a pack of Hashish over it. The Israelis on the other side throw a pack of money back. It’s heartwarming because under different circumstances, these entrepreneurs would be killing each other. Not so heartwarming because the money is used to fund the Hezballah terrorist infrastructure in South Lebanon, paying for guns and rockets used to kill Israelis.

Opiates in Israel come from terrorists
The Poppies that are used to manufacture opiates are found mostly in Iran, Afghanistan and even in parts of the Sinai. Either way, by buying these types of drugs you are enriching terrorists, be they the Taliban, Al Qaeda militias or the Mullah led government of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, all of whom wish to wipe Israel off the map in one way or another. Yes, that’s Israel the country whose taxpayers paid for half your free trip.

Getting arrested in Israel is the opposite of fun
Jails anywhere are not pleasant places and jails in Israel are particularly foul. Israel frowns on the illegal use of narcotics – if you manage to avoid jail time or a court appearance you will still be deported and barred from returning to Israel for up to 10 years or more. Not a big deal, until jack booted thugs start marching in your town and you have nowhere to go to. It could happen! I’m just saying…

Bottom Line
Your trip lasts only 10 days. It’s a fast paced, intense and immersive, once-in-a-lifetime experience. Drinking too much, let alone illegal drug use of any kind, will not enhance your experience at all. Drug use will detrimentally affect your experience and may detrimentally affect the experience of the group you’re travelling with as well. It will also eventually lead you to checking out sites like centers.org looking for treatment if you turn out to have some common sense. In fact, if you read this post in the hopes of figuring out how to score drugs in Israel while on Birthright you’re obviously a shallow, thoughtless and selfish prick. I strongly urge you not to apply at all. If you get caught using drugs, you will get kicked off the trip, sent home and Birthright Israel may bill you and your family for the expenses involved. That could be like… $6000! That’s a lot to pay in order to get high. So please, just stay at home until such time as you are mature enough to take a trip like this and make the most of it. As for the rest of you, please by all means apply. Please by all means come to Israel. We’d love to meet you! Just stay sober. For 10 days. How hard can that be???

Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.

21 Comments

  1. themiddle

    9/2/2011 at 2:27 pm

    Say, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about having sex on these Birthright trips, would ya?

  2. Miss T

    9/3/2011 at 5:27 am

    I mostly agree but somehow the whole tone here sounds like public service announcement. I am married to an Israeli – both of us total nerds (with friends who are also total nerds), and yet I think that all of our Israeli friends smoke(d) weed. While I cannot comment on the quality of weed in Israel (because I don’t smoke myself), I see that in abundance all over the place among my Israeli friends. They don’t even hide it. In addition, medicinal purposes are permitted in Israel. In other words, if you know personally an Israeli who smokes, I don’t think it is that horrible.

    Having said that – I do agree with the most important paragraph in this article – the last one.

  3. jzsnake

    9/4/2011 at 8:54 am

    What’s your source that the money from the hash goes to terrorists? Did the hash I smoked in Israel over 35 years ago fund terrorism?

  4. ck

    9/4/2011 at 1:17 pm

    Not as much 35 years ago but these days, Syrian military, Hizbollah and a whole criminal network utilized by terrorists have their hand in the Hash trade. It’s not direct link but it is a link nonetheless.

  5. Rabbi Yonah

    9/5/2011 at 6:37 pm

    So far no criticism received at Jewlicious HQ over this totally uncontroversial post.

  6. DK

    9/5/2011 at 7:20 pm

    I have a friend who went to Israel a couple of years ago and he got served totally good weed in Tel Aviv.

    I agree with ck that Israel should move to decriminalize weed in order to remove the cartels, terrorists, and most importantly, improve the quality.

    • ck

      9/14/2011 at 4:17 am

      Of course one can find quality weed in Israel if one is lucky or if one has local friends to hook you up. But the prospects are grim for clueless trip participants. And it’s a dumb idea. And weed is for losers anyway. Feh. Go frolick in a field of patchouli stupid hippies.

      • Chad

        10/26/2012 at 1:12 pm

        Hi! I have spent the past several hours researching Birthright and reading all of your awesome and extremely entertaining articles. I currently reside in New York and am considering doing Birthright. I’d love to pick your brain on some questions I have regarding both Israel and the trip. If interested, please email me at chadmurnane@mac.com. You are extremely knowledgeable and I figured who better to ask than you.

        Thank you.

        Kind regards,
        Chad

  7. Jerusalem

    9/6/2011 at 6:46 am

    As a licensed Israeli tour guide/Jewish educator who has led over 50 Birthright groups since its’ inception 11 years ago, I think I have some decent perspective on this issue. 10 days to be weedless is so little to ask of participants. In every group I have guided there is always someone who asks me where to score ( one look at me and you might understand why they ask) and |I tell everyone , just wait till the trip is over. The least you can do as a “thank you” for a free trip is to stay away from from trouble. No doubt if you move to Israel and smoking is an essential part of your lifestyle , you will be able to take care of yourself. And of course listen to your Birthright Educator guide at all times , it might be me!!!

  8. Pingback: 20,000 Birthrighters in Israel last summer – but why? | ISRAELITY

  9. Mel

    1/21/2012 at 3:58 pm

    So much for the ‘Holy Land’. There’s alternative information out there that says the Mossad and Israeli government sponsor the terrorists and that the occupation in Afghanistan was all to protect the Israeli mob interests in the heroin trade. Also, interesting was an article that allege the organ traffickers and drug lords operating in South Africa are Israelis and that’s just South Africa. One can only wonder what goes down in Jew York et el :)…Israeli did 911 :)

  10. Anon

    1/22/2012 at 2:42 am

    Drugs (of a high quality, if you know where to look) are well available in Israel and if you’re careful and cautious you’ll be just fine.
    Police do random searches, but only very rarely and mostly in crime-prone areas to people that fit certain characteristics that they’re looking for.
    Many potheads here ;)

  11. Yana

    3/6/2012 at 7:19 pm

    Your coverage of all things Birthright is refreshing and informative! Thanks for telling it like it is. I went on Birthright last summer and it was fantastic. when my friends ask about the experience I show them my pics and point them to your birthright posts.

  12. Pingback: Happy Bday Joey Lawrence and Hitler! It’s 4/20 Bitches. | Hipster Jew

  13. moshe

    1/3/2013 at 11:39 am

    wow

  14. vadim

    1/29/2013 at 8:56 am

    Everything in Israel mostly sucks. Except maybe the dead sea? the dead sea doesnt suck.

  15. click here

    2/8/2013 at 5:37 am

    I really wana thank you for providing such informative and qualitative material so often.I really wana thank you for providing such informative and qualitative material so often.

  16. Pharmacyguider

    2/8/2013 at 5:42 am

    Im inspired with the exceptional and instructive contents that you provide in such short timing.

  17. themanwhoknows

    4/28/2013 at 3:09 pm

    bunch of crap.
    you won’t go to jail for under 15 grams and the weed is pretty good.

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