Ten Ways NOT To Approach Women

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Gals, we have all thought to ourselves, “Are you kidding me?” or “Is this real life?” or “Not going to happen, ever….ever.” or “Why ….just…no.” but for some reason, men do not appear to understand what they are doing wrong. So, below is a short list of ways NOT to approach women at social events. Good luck, and G-d speed.

1. Stare at a girl all night and wait until you are drunk enough to have confidence to approach her. This is a great way to freak her out and guarantee that she will be completely uninterested. Remember: women love confidence, and your lack thereof is a sure way to turn her off.

2. Ask her out, and after being rejected, ask out her sister or best friend. If girls are clearly close to one another, you will absolutely win nobody’s heart with this approach. For best results, make sure both girls (or all girls, if you’re really slick) can hear you repeating your pick-up line. In fact, if you use the same line, it is even more lame and insulting: the perfect combination for rejection by all.

3. Say you have wanted to meet her for years, because you sound like a creep. Even if you are not a creep (maybe you are just really shy) you will sound like a creep, and unless she is desperate, abnormally nice or understanding, or a combination of the two, she will want nothing to do with you.

4. Immediately make a sexual reference about her physical attributes. Women are intriguing and visually fascinating, and we know it. If you are straight to the point with a lady, she is sure to be anything but flattered and totally ignore you. If you got hit on like we get hit on, perhaps you would have a clue…or maybe not.

5.  Tell her how rich you are because real women are not gold-diggers. This approach is most effective for the man with zero self-esteem, because he will attract a woman who will use and abuse him, time and time again. This great conversation starter can be implemented at any social event.

6. Talk about yourself without even considering, not even for one split second, asking her about herself. Just walk right up to a woman you think you may be interested in and tell her what she wants to hear….as many details as possible about yourself, without any regard for her, whatsoever. This method is especially useful for confident, successful, intelligent women that you probably can’t handle anyway.

7. Invade her personal space. Women are attracted to men who can feel comfortable coming close. Take this to another level by putting your face extremely close to hers.

8. The worse you smell, the less likely it is that you will successfully get those digits. Showering is over rated. So is cologne. For added value, try not brushing your teeth or chewing gum.

9. Repeatedly tell her how amazing you are. Particularly, say things like, “So you are going to miss me so much when I leave this party” or “So did you dream about me last night?” or ” I know you are overwhelmed by me right now” because that attitude is the best way to get you nowhere.

10. Talk to her, do not ask her for her number, then add her on Facebook. Better yet, add her on LinkedIn. Nothing says confidence like online social networking, especially when you do some stalking to find her full name.

If someone approaches you by use of one or more of these clever methods, do not crush him into tiny little pieces and destroy his self-identity further by completely tearing him apart and eating him alive. Perhaps tizremu….if he seems genuine and kind, guide him. Remember that most men are trainable. Best of luck, friends.

For your entertainment, please enjoy this video.

MBA, MA. Have more fun. Worry less. Laugh more. Be good to yourselves & others. Grow, learn, and develop. The greatest risk in life is not taking one.

13 Comments

  1. froylein

    11/14/2012 at 4:06 pm

    Does 1. imply you’ve been staring back all night to notice or been tied to a spot for everyone to look at?

    • Esther

      11/26/2012 at 3:42 pm

      I’m not sure I understand the question. To clarify, I’m not talking about two people giving each other those sexy eyes all night. When I look at a man for a few seconds while smiling, it is an invitation for him to approach me….but here I am referring to someone staring in a creepy way, for too long. I hope that clarifies!

      • froylein

        11/26/2012 at 3:48 pm

        How would you know he’s staring for too long unless you’re watching the person or having that person watched? According to my experience (I’m considerably older than you, so I’ll draw the experience card), people will stare if you look familar or weird.

        • Esther

          12/26/2012 at 1:33 am

          Or if they are creepers. Maybe men are getting creepier! Or maybe women are getting more creeped out…or a combination? :) Happy Holidays!

          • froylein

            12/26/2012 at 2:45 am

            Men are often labelled creeps if they’re just awkward / insecure.

            Happy Holiday Season to you as well!

  2. dave

    12/31/2012 at 8:43 am

    Now that we have figured out what MEN are doing wrong, when do we correct the women?

    • themiddle

      12/31/2012 at 9:02 pm

      No need. Women are perfect.

      • froylein

        1/2/2013 at 2:48 am

        Please exclude me from that statement. It’s more fulfilling to own up to your imperfection than to constantly aim for perfection.

        • themiddle

          1/2/2013 at 7:18 am

          You see! Even your humility only points to perfection.

          • froylein

            1/2/2013 at 3:14 pm

            Enchantez!

    • Michelle Esther Appelbaum

      3/22/2013 at 6:17 pm

      haha. just saw this – i like it! would make a great blog! :)

  3. Ryan

    1/9/2013 at 5:09 am

    Confidence as far as speaking is concerned is the most attractive part as well as the strength of any conversation, whether one is addressing a group or a gathering, your friends or counterparts and most importantly the opposite sex, confidence is definitely the central part and thus paramount to a conversation.

  4. David

    1/28/2014 at 9:12 pm

    I don’t agree with Num 5.. I know several real women who are gold diggers and expect to be taken out to the nicest of places and order the most expensive foods on the menu.

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