As reported in the media, the Rabbinical Council of California’s Kashrut Division was in the final stages of certifying products produced by Trigg Laboratories. Certification of non-edible items is common in the kosher industry, but the intended uses of these items as now revealed, was misunderstood. The RCC has rescinded its certification with immediate effect, and deeply regrets the widespread consternation that this error caused.
Let me repeat the relevant part of this absolutely idiotic statement: “but the intended uses of these items as now revealed, was misunderstood.” What does that mean? Well, lube is used to facilitate sexual intercourse where natural lubricant is unavailable. Like I wrote in the previous post on the subject, over 30% of women between the ages of 18-59 have difficulty with dryness during sexual intercourse, even when they are aroused. Without a kosher lubricant, kosher consumers can only use spit, but human spit tends to kill sperm and besides, spit isn’t a really good lubricant. One can also use lubricant to facilitate anal sex because the anus does not produce any natural lubricants. It’s use in the facilitation of anal sex is clearly why the RCC decided not to issue kosher certification for the Wet line of lubricants.
Now lets look at the numbers. The RCC has decided to inconvenience 30% of pre-menopausal women and all post-menopausal women (who also suffer from sexual dryness) because the 10% of the male population who are gay, and who most likely could not care less about the kosher status of their lube, use it while having anal sex. Smart move RCC! I’m pretty sure Gay men might also brush their teeth prior to their sexual assignations. Will the RCC stop certifying toothpaste?
The RCC certifies BabyCakes, a cute bakery with a location in LA. Babycakes confections are free of refined sugar, gluten, wheat, soy, dairy and eggs. They are delicious and vegan and of course, kosher. I am almost certain that given their location near Beverly Hills and its healthy fare, it is patronized by gay men – perhaps even the morning after having anal sex! Will the RCC rescind their kosher certification? I don’t mean to pick on BabyCakes – there’s a whole list of food emporiums certified by the RCC here. Given that I can guarantee that all these establishments are patronized by gay man (one in every minyan!) – I wonder if the RCC will revoke their certification as well? I mean when you feed homosexual men, you’re really just facilitating gay sex, no?
I mean, I don’t want to be party to a sin and so, taking the example set by the RCC, I will not patronize any institution with a hechsher from the RCC. How do I know if sodomites are eating that food? I can’t take the chance obviously. No more breakfasts at Elat Pastry Cafe, no more food runs to Glatt Mart, No more yummy salads at Got Kosher? Nope. If the RCC can be cavalier about the needs of kosher women suffering from sexual dryness then I can be cavalier about their clients.