Rabbinical Council of California Stupidly Rescinds Kosher Certification for Lube because Fear of Gays

Girls Not Wet? Ow.


Girls Not Wet? Ow.

Why did the Rabbinical Council of California Suddenly rescind its kosher certification for Trigg Lab’s line of Sex lubes? According to a statement by the RCC:

As reported in the media, the Rabbinical Council of Californiaís Kashrut Division was in the final stages of certifying products produced by Trigg Laboratories. Certification of non-edible items is common in the kosher industry, but the intended uses of these items as now revealed, was misunderstood. The RCC has rescinded its certification with immediate effect, and deeply regrets the widespread consternation that this error caused.

Let me repeat the relevant part of this absolutely idiotic statement: “but the intended uses of these items as now revealed, was misunderstood.” What does that mean? Well, lube is used to facilitate sexual intercourse where natural lubricant is unavailable. Like I wrote in the previous post on the subject, over 30% of women between the ages of 18-59 have difficulty with dryness during sexual intercourse, even when they are aroused. Without a kosher lubricant, kosher consumers can only use spit, but human spit tends to kill sperm and besides, spit isn’t a really good lubricant. One can also use lubricant to facilitate anal sex because the anus does not produce any natural lubricants. It’s use in the facilitation of anal sex is clearly why the RCC decided not to issue kosher certification for the Wet line of lubricants.

Now lets look at the numbers. The RCC has decided to inconvenience 30% of pre-menopausal women and all post-menopausal women (who also suffer from sexual dryness) because the 10% of the male population who are gay, and who most likely could not care less about the kosher status of their lube, use it while having anal sex. Smart move RCC! I’m pretty sure Gay men might also brush their teeth prior to their sexual assignations. Will the RCC stop certifying toothpaste?

The RCC certifies BabyCakes, a cute bakery with a location in LA. Babycakes confections are free of refined sugar, gluten, wheat, soy, dairy and eggs. They are delicious and vegan and of course, kosher. I am almost certain that given their location near Beverly Hills and its healthy fare, it is patronized by gay men – perhaps even the morning after having anal sex! Will the RCC rescind their kosher certification? I don’t mean to pick on BabyCakes – there’s a whole list of food emporiums certified by the RCC here. Given that I can guarantee that all these establishments are patronized by gay man (one in every minyan!) – I wonder if the RCC will revoke their certification as well? I mean when you feed homosexual men, you’re really just facilitating gay sex, no?

I mean, I don’t want to be party to a sin and so, taking the example set by the RCC, I will not patronize any institution with a hechsher from the RCC. How do I know if sodomites are eating that food? I can’t take the chance obviously. No more breakfasts at Elat Pastry Cafe, no more food runs to Glatt Mart, No more yummy salads at Got Kosher? Nope. If the RCC can be cavalier about the needs of kosher women suffering from sexual dryness then I can be cavalier about their clients.

Shabbat Shalom!

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15 Comments

  1. Jkaplb

    7/19/2013 at 12:02 pm

    I guess Jeff’s Gourmet Kosher Sausages are entirely out too? That might be a deal breaker.

    • ck

      7/22/2013 at 3:50 pm

      Do not fear! Jeff’s isn’t under the supervision of the RCC!!

  2. Pun intended

    7/19/2013 at 2:17 pm

    Lube doesn’t need to be kosher unless one plans to eat it.

    • ck

      7/21/2013 at 6:44 am

      Um. Have you ever had sex Pun? It’s messy.

  3. David

    7/21/2013 at 11:38 pm

    ck: You are clearly ignorant of the facts. You have written an entire article bashing a kashrus organization a faulty premises. First, lube does not have to be eaten. For this reason, any lube can be used during intercourse. I recommend KY. Second, RCC never made any statement, explicit or implied, that homosexuality is the reason they rescinded the hechsher for this product. In fact, that is doubtful. It is much more likely that they felt that “kosher sex” would be better served if the people using the lubricant didn’t eat it. I’m sure you can muster up the creativity to figure how people would go about eating the lubricant. Well, kosher consumers, at least those who care about an Orthodox hechsher, just aren’t interested. If you don’t wish to eat at RCC restaurants anymore, so be it. That just means I won’t have the misfortune of actually having to run into you.

    • themiddle

      7/22/2013 at 8:00 am

      If they did hechsher this lube and you ate it, perhaps it would clean your lashon ha’ra? Really, try to do something about it.

    • ck

      7/22/2013 at 3:47 pm

      David – Here’s a very realistic scenario for you to contemplate. An Orthodox married couple are attempting to have sexual intercourse. The husband uses lube in order to facilitate penetration. During the course of the act, they decide to switch it up a bit and the husband decides to perform oral sex on his wife. Then it’s possible that the lube would touch his tongue and be otherwise “eaten.” There is nothing halachically wrong with a man pleasuring his wife as such. The only issue would be the kashrut of the lube.

      As for KY, as a water-based lubricant, it’s most handy when used in tandem with latex products – like say, condoms, which are overwhelmingly considered halachically impermissible – though dental dams are ok. In any case, Trigg labs has some very highly rated lubes from Silicone to Glycerin based. These would have been of great help to the 33% of Orthodox women between the ages of 18-59 who have trouble with dryness.

      David added: “RCC never made any statement, explicit or implied, that homosexuality is the reason they rescinded the hechsher for this product.” Well… they made no significant statement at all. This process was about to culminate after 2 years and suddenly? Well, I am allowed to speculate, and any possible reason they might have was stupid. And if I am wrong and it wasn’t stupid then it was definitely stupid not to specify their reasoning. Either way. Stupid.

      David, find me an Orthodox Rabbi who is willing to say that lube doesn’t have to be kosher. As for your dining options and company… Bete’avon my friend. It’s a free country.

  4. elli

    7/23/2013 at 5:12 pm

    How ridiculous. Bacon Lube is certified Kosher by the Chof-K jdfoods.net/pr... as well as MANY of their Bacon (sic) Flavored products.
    What about BAC-Os? Or Coffee Rich? All of these could be considered WORSE than Wet brand Lube.

    Perhaps the RCC should stop certifying EVERYTHING – because I can think of completely UnHoly things to do with MOST products they certify!

    They have just created the worst Chilul HaShem I have seen in years.

  5. elli

    7/23/2013 at 5:13 pm

    BTW it appears that BabyCakes bakery is open on Shabbos. That alone calls it’s Kashrus into question.

  6. ck

    7/24/2013 at 4:28 am

    Thanks for the heads up elli!
    Being open on Shabbat does not prevent Kosher certification. Places like Baskin Robbins, Krispy Kreme and Coffee Bean have enjoyed Kosher Certification for decades despite being open on Shabbat. I remember one proviso with Krispy Kreme was that if you purchased donuts on Saturday night you had to ask and make sure that they hadn’t been baked on the Sabbath. So the RCC’s certification of Baby Cakes is legit …

    While JD’s artificial bacon flavored products are indeed certified kosher, it’s unclear if their bacon flavored lube is. I don’t think it’s manufactured by them. Kosher bacon stuff has always left me uncomfortable but what can you do…

  7. elli

    7/24/2013 at 12:42 pm

    Not sure where you live ck, but here in NYC MOST of the reliable Hechsherim will not certify a place that’s open on Shabbos. There are SO MANY Halachic issues that can arise, not the least of which is Bishul and Pas Yisroel. (I am not including those reliably kosher restaurants open on Shabbos the pre-cook and have a Mashgiach Temidi).
    Here in NYC a sure sign of reliability in Kashrus is whether or not they are open on Shabbos.
    Having lived the first 18 years of my life in L.A. and then another 6 years after getting married, I am well aware of how Kashrus works “out of town” and that there are places owned by non-Jews that remain open on Shabbos (ie Baskin Robbins) but most of these places don’t cook or bake on Shabbos. It’s a red flag to me of how seriously they take being Kosher.

    • ck

      7/25/2013 at 8:53 am

      I don’t disagree with you elli. I live in Jerusalem btw where all the hotels, even those that are Badatz, serve food on Shabbat…. but that’s besides the point. There are of course, different levels of kashrut. I’ve never seen a Hassid at Krispy Kreme. Which is probably a good idea…

  8. Jonathan

    10/18/2013 at 1:36 am

    Elli, here in NYC most hechsherim are basing their hechsher on nonsense that has nothing to do with the kashrus of the place they’re certifying. It’s a big problem.

  9. Elli

    10/18/2013 at 10:08 am

    I don’t know what hechsherim you are referring to Jonathan. That’s a very broad statement and possibly a little slanderous! Which ones are you referring to? Do you have any evidence to back up this claim? Certainly any hechsher that allows a store to operate on Shabbos with no mashgiach and no shower Shabbos staff is unreliable. Other than that I cannot imagine what you’re referring to.

  10. Maria

    5/15/2014 at 7:32 am

    Yeah lubricant are the best and more important product to use during a kosher sex, and very interesting article on it thanks for that.

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