}

Jews are Sexy in 2013

Sexy Jews 2013

You know, not everyone is opposed to Jewish intermarriage. Advocates say that when Jews reproduce with non-Jews it expands our gene-pool. Given all the congenital ailments that Jews, Ashkenazi Jews specifically, are subject to, like Crohn’s, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Tay Sachs Disease, increased incidence of Breast Cancer, liking Geffilte Fish etc. introducing new DNA to undo the damage caused by centuries of close knit ghetto living seems like a good idea. And then there are the aesthetic considerations as well. Why do so many single Jewish men on JDate lie about their height? Why are so many Jewish men, again mostly of Ashkenazi extraction, seemingly balding prematurely? Why do so many Jewish women insist on straightening their Semitic locks? There is a notion that, while they are good in business, science, medicine and the arts, Jews are not so pretty to look at.

Well, clearly, it’s time to disabuse these notions. In November, Esquire declared that Jewess Scarlett Johnansson was the sexiest woman alive. The 28 year old Johansson, whose Mother is Jewish, won the title for the second time (her last victory was 7 years ago), beating out last year’s winner, another Jewess, Mila Kunis. And now, People Magazine has declared that Maroon 5 frontman and coach on The Voice, Adam Levine, is 2013’s Sexiest Man Alive.

Both Levine and Johansson come from interfaith families but consider themselves Jewish. So what’s going on here? Why isn’t Levine a shnooky accountant? Why isn’t Johansson a member of Hadassah? What is interesting however, is the intermarriage aspect of all this. It’s not that sexier, healthier genes are going to enter the Jewish people, but rather that already sexy Jewish genes are heading to the goyim! That’s right. Forget about all your silly prejudices. Scarlett is currently engaged to her French Catholic boyfriend Romain Dauriac – so yes the kids will be technically Jewish but really, who are we kidding here? Levine is now also engaged to his girlfriend, Victoria’s Secret supermodel Behati Prinsloo who hails from Namibia and whose Dad is a Christian Minister. See that? Jewish genes going to the goyim in order to make the world a better place.

See? Jews ARE sexy! Talk about Tikun Olam.

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ck

Publisher at Jewlicious
Founder of Jewlicious? Publisher? Man I hate titles. I coined the name Jewlicious and I slave over the site. I live in Jerusalem and I need to get some breakfast.
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4 Comments

  1. Lisa

    11/21/2013 at 1:53 am

    It’s called watering down the gene pool. They will not be more, we will only be less.

    • ck

      11/21/2013 at 2:22 am

      Oh Lisa? Ya think? It seems you’re begining to understand my sarcasm!

  2. Bee

    11/23/2013 at 6:53 am

    It is not only people of mixed background. Mila Kunis, who you mentioned, and Bar Refaeli, who was Maxim’s #1 woman, were born to two Jewish parents. And so are many other attractive famous people, like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Logan Lerman, Paul Rudd, Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, Adam Brody, Gabriel Macht, James Wolk, etc. (some of those were on People’s list this year).

    As for Levine, he is mostly of Jewish descent anyway (75%), though not a halachic Jew.

  3. Bee

    11/23/2013 at 6:54 am

    “And so WERE” is what I meant to say, of course.

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