}

In Goodwill Gesture, Palestinians Show Israel Why One State Solution is Ideal

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That’s right, speak to many Palestinians and they will tell you that what they really want is for there to be no borders and that a single state should exist between the river and the sea with all the area’s members as its citizens. Israel has resisted this for many years citing silly ideas like the right of self determination or the ongoing hostility of the Palestinians toward the Jews going as far back as the early part of the last century when Jews were a significant minority in the region.

Finally, having hit a wall, literally and figuratively, the Palestinians have decided to try a new approach: impress the Israelis enough to make them want a single state solution. To that end, the Palestinians, as is their wont, recruited some combatants – to make things a little simpler for our reader, we’ll call them terrorists – to show Israel what they can offer Israeli society. The terrorists, members of Fatah’s own Al Aqsa Brigades, took it upon themselves to make a favorable impression and today was the day they kicked off their public relations campaign.

How did they launch it? Did they bake cakes or distribute sweets to Israeli children? Nope. Did they send messages of good cheer accompanied by kegs of lemonade and vats of hummus? Nope. Did they blow kisses and smile fondly at Israeli passers-by while burying their weapons underground never to be seen again? Nope. Nope. Nope. They launched their campaign by killing a man in broad daylight, and then his alleged lover/mistress/girlfriend in broad daylight. I know what you’re thinking, you’re asking yourself whether this is an effective PR approach. That’s a valid question and I believe the Palestinians went out of their way to make this event truly unique and exemplary of what would happen in their ideal single state.

You see, the man who was killed, Jafal Abu Tzrur, was accused of being an informant who had told the Israelis about an Al Aqsa Brigades member who was killed by the IDF. How did they know that he was an informant? He confessed.

After two days of torture.

So Mahmud Abbas’s Fatah offshoot Al Aqsa Brigades simply issued a death warrant on the spot, took Abu Tzrur to a nearby public courtyard, threw him down to the ground and as he crawled back up, they shot him several times. Until he was dead.

Then these representatives of the democratically elected Palestinian leadership took Abu Tzrur’s lover, Odad Abu Mustafa (also named Waida Abu Mustafa), and were going to kill her. But they stopped themselves in a magnanimous gesture of goodwill toward her family. Rather than kill Ms. Abu Mustafa with their own hands, they wanted to accomodate the request of her family to allow them to retain their family honor, took her to a more private courtyard of a Palestinian hospital, proceeded to have fifteen members of her family prepare her for her punishment, put a gun in her brother’s hand and he then put a bullet into her head. As she crumpled on to the ground, he fondly remembered a previous episode of The Sopranos and continued to shoot bullets into her body. Waida was 27 and leaves behind four children aged 3 to 11, leading certain mathematicians to claim that she had been married at the age of 15. The children are now orphans because their father was an Al Aqsa Brigades terrorist who was killed by the Israelis. Al Aqsa Brigades claimed the Israelis knew his whereabout because Jafal and Waida informed on them.

In combination with this story, the recent civil-war-like fighting in Gaza between Hamas and Fatah and a deep desire to own ski-masks and wear them in 100 degree weather, is it a surprise that a small but growing movement among Israelis seeks new elections to bring to power a government that would accept a one-state solution with the Palestinians? Already people are talking about the benefits of allowing the young daughters of Israel to be married off at 15 (3 more years of child-bearing!) and of providing their brothers with extensive training in close-range shooting of hand-guns.

UC Irvine’s Muslim Student Union has recently launched a friendly public relations program also advocating a one state solution and with these recent actions by Fatah, a leading Palestinian movement, they believe their campaign will have legs and finally earn them the respect they seek from mainstream America and Israel.

(image source)

7 Comments

  1. bruce david

    5/31/2006 at 11:22 am

    mmmmmm mmmmm
    mmmmmm mmmmmm

  2. Pete (Alois)

    5/31/2006 at 11:40 am

    Jes’ folks. Wonderful!

  3. Shy Guy

    5/31/2006 at 11:56 am

    Is that a light- the- fuse- and- make- a- last- wish kinda pie?

  4. taltman

    5/31/2006 at 6:15 pm

    The children are now orphans because their father was an Al Aqsa Brigades terrorist who was killed by the Israelis. Al Aqsa Brigades claimed the Israelis knew his whereabout because Jafal and Waida informed on them.

    These lines confuse me. So Jafal was the lover of Waida, but Waida was the wife of the Al Aksa terrorist that was killed by the IDF? Was the IDF-killed terrorist the father of the children, or Jafal?

  5. VJ

    6/1/2006 at 4:10 am

    Questions, I’ve always got questions.

    1.) How many doctors were present when they shot this woman? Did they have a duty to intervene?

    2.) Is this torture completely kosher with the UN/World Court/Amnesty Int./Human Rights watch? What will academics in the UK think about it? See if we knew what kind of torture is not only effective, but recommended by these world authorities, we’d be a lot better prepared for our own claims of impunity.

    3.) I guess big bro is going to take care of all those kids, now made orphans by his own actions. (And probably proudly so). How can they be taught most effectively to be able to visit this same sort of family justice (extra judicial though it may be) on the next generation? Do they have to kill offending 2nd cousins as a sort of practice round? Perhaps just settlers, no?

    4.) Boy these guys would make for great Kappo’s & mafia enforcers! Oh wait….

    Cheers, ‘VJ’

  6. Shy Guy

    6/1/2006 at 4:30 am

    Who takes care of the orphans? Read: Little Orphan Ali.

  7. Ravit

    6/5/2006 at 3:14 pm

    Great article

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