There are two constant fears in the Russian Jewish community.  The first is that daughters will sit at the corners of tables and, thus  will never get married. The second is that Obama will never let the administration support Israel because he is  quite obviously, a Muslim (Hussein.  Duh!).  This worry happens pretty much any time we have a new president.  Actually concerns about Israel’s security and U.S. support of Israel was the primary reason I voted for Bush in 2004.  But that was when I was young, stupid, and still drank Vlady.  Please don’t hurt me.  The Vlady was punishment enough.

When you dig a bit deeper, however, it turns out that, no matter who is in charge, American foreign policy implicitly supports Israel (rah!).  The most telling statistic is this one, from the Congressional Research Service, a non-partisan research service for Congress members, from the Library of Congress.  When I think about CRS, I think goblins at Gringotts.

Anyway, in their 2005 report on American assistance to Israel (PDF), they write,

Israel is not economically self-sufficient,  and relies on foreign assistance and borrowing to maintain its economy.  Since 1985, the  United States has provided $3 billion in grants annually to Israel.  Since 1976, Israel has been  the largest annual recipient of U.S. foreign assistance, and is the largest cumulative recipient since World War II.

So much for Republicans and Democrats contributing different amounts and discouraging Israeli policies.   Also, so much for Zionist self-reliance.

From 1949 through 1965, U.S. aid to Israel averaged about $63 million per year, over 95% of which was economic development assistance and food aid.

From what’s been going on so far, this isn’t going to change anytime soon, even though Obama, may possibly apply lots of pressure to Israel regarding settlements and the two-state solution,  so have others.  But, while he postures, the money will still be coming in regularly.

Israel’s ambassador to Washington thanked the Obama administration for maintaining assistance levels to Israel. A commitment to $2.775 billion in defense assistance in 2010 and to joint defense development projects such as the Arrow anti-missile system appeared in the detailed budget proposal the White House submitted last week to Congress.

Oh, and this year?  Still  $2.5 billion.  Now, it doesn’t take an economist (although I am one, so ha!) to draw the trend line between 1949 and today.  Trend line still positive.

This whole US aid to Israel question is one I struggle with on a regular basis.  Not because I don’t think the United States shouldn’t be giving Israel aid, particularly in the military sector.  Global neighbors got to help each other out.  Especially when your other neighbors are CRAZY and maybe planning to kill you a little bit.  But, because, it really undermines the point of the State of Israel, which is to be a self-sufficient Jewish state.  You know, the hoeing and the planting and the self-made Davidka guns?  I mean, all this showering in U.S. money is great, but what happens if, suddenly, the United States no longer has Israel on its agenda and decides that it doesn’t need us as an ally?  Not that that’s ever happened to Jews before.

I realize it’s hard for a small country with only 7 million people (one million of which, are at any given time, watching Russian tv serials and eating sunflower seeds) to maintain a military the size of Enrique Iglesias’ mole and still continue to contribute to technological and infrastructure growth, which, as every good classical economist knows, are the key to GDP growth, which is the key to self reliance. I’m not judging. If we didn’t have the military, we’d be somewhere between Crete and Istanbul in the deep city of Atlantis. The problem is critical and the solution not imminent.  If I figure it out, I’ll get back to you.  Don’t wait up for my call.

Dear California Secretary of Education Thomas,

The “UC Intifada” at UCI – is raging and Chancellor Drake and the University seem unable or unwilling to act in an effective way to protect the best interests of the student body, and keep intimidation, racism, and anti-Semitism off campus.

I have been the campus rabbi at UCI for almost 5 years, under the auspices of an independent Jewish campus ministry. I also serve as the only Rabbi of the UCI Interfaith Center. My concerns are based on long-term, grassroots involvement, which has brought me into contact with thousands of UCI students – Jewish and Gentile.

It is a well established, and sadly, an accepted part of student life at UCI, that Israel and Jews are being singled out, vilified, and targeted for intimidation. It is the same nightmare of previous year’s except much worse and much longer.

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Sure, I’ve taken the piss out of Pope Benedict from time to time, and all indications are that my ribbing has been well received. From the adventures of the Pope as a teen in the Hitler Youth, to that one time when he liberated Jerusalem and that other time when he snuck into the Jewlicious Festival, the Pope has been the good natured butt of our scurrilous attacks. Why good natured? Because today the Pope landed in Jerusalem and I have yet to be detained. In fact, I just, mere moments ago, saw his motorcade drive by the old city. Yup - life in Jerusalem is one massive traffic jam as roads are closed and traffic is diverted (badly) for the sake of Pope Benedict’s security. And Catholics? Dang! They are all over the place!

And you know what else? As demonstrated by this visiting group of Polish Catholics, they Israeli dance better than you do, they know more Hebrew songs than you do and their pronunciation doesn’t suck like yours does. So we’re all honored by this visit by a former member of the Hitler Youth, and awed by the sight of the grandchildren and great grandchildren of people who hunted us down and sent us to gas chambers, singing in Hebrew and dancing in the capital of the Jewish state. These are strange times i tell you. Strange, strange times… Happy lag baomer. Hope you build a nice bonfire. Keep the Catholics away though - bonfires, Catholics and Jews don’t usually go together so well…

Get all your t-shirts, buttons, and stuff at Ilovetehran.com. Oh and you can get Mahmoud Ahmadinejad buttons too!

You guys can’t handle long thoughtful posts apparently. So here’s a snapshot of interesting stories, though unlike twitter, I will not restrict myself to 140 characters!

1. Israel Foreign Ministry takes credit for foiling Ahmadinejad’s planned South American trip:

Thousands of Brazilians, Jews and non-Jews, demonstrated in Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro on Sunday against Ahmadinejad’s planned visit. Scheduled for Wednesday, it would have been his first stop in South America… In Sao Paulo, some 1,000 people - including secular and Orthodox Jews, as well as evangelical Christians, homosexuals and Gypsies - gathered in a major square to protest… In Rio, another 1,000 demonstrators walked along Ipanema beach carrying signs and shouting messages against terrorism, homophobia and racism.

Good job! Maybe Avigdor Lieberman isn’t a total dope? Uh… nah. No need to exaggerate. In other news, Israeli President Shimon Peres compared Ahmadinejad to Hitler in a recent meeting with US President Barack Obama.

2. A National High School Mock Trial competition has led to a real trial when an Orthodox School, Massachusetts state champs, were prevented from competing because of the organizers’ refusal to reschedule the Sabbath portion of the competition:

The students, whose school had never won a state championship in any activity, were crestfallen when told of the national scheduling problem. But they were also excited about their new role… “The idea of a mock trial being in the middle of a real legal battle is pretty cool,” said Leah Sarna, 17… Her father, Jonathan D. Sarna, a well-known professor of Jewish history at Brandeis University, said the team was learning a legal lesson about “what it means to be a minority group.”

If the Brookline kids don’t win, they can always dull their bitter disappointment, Cinco De Mayo style, with Kosher Tequila!

3. Jewish men and boys are disengaging from Reform Judaism:

It is a real phenomenon, affecting our rabbis, cantors, and educators; our teenage males. and the adult men of our community. While there are several complicated causes, one that cannot be denied is the fact that the temple culture in many locations is increasingly seen by many men as out of balance. By that, I mean it favors the needs and interests of women to such an extent that it can be perceived as ignoring men’s spiritual needs and interests.

Shocker! I’m going to shut up now.

4. Christians drilling for oil in Israel? It’s a matter of faith I guess…

“As a Christian Zionist and New Covenant believer, I received the calling to render assistance to the Jewish people and the Nation of Israel and to aid them in the restoration of the land by providing the oil and gas necessary to maintain their political and economic independence,” Brown says.

Uhm. Thanks Christians, and good luck.

5. He’s from England. He’s an atheist. His Politics are Center Left. And he strongly supports Israel (!!). Why?

Despite the minus points however, Israel is in my view, a brave, vastly misunderstood and much hated (unwarranted) living and breathing embodiment of democracy and liberty fighting tyranny and religious despotism. It’s a nation that needs our support, our good will, our understanding and our help because if we refuse, we are in fact permitting large chunks of our own values and ideals of freedom be torn apart by Islamic absolutism. We in Europe, America and the rest of the democratic world are not idle spectators to this ‘regional’ confrontation between Israel and groups like Hezbollah and Hamas, as it so often might seem; we are on the very same front line! From the Philippines to southern Russia and from the Parisian suburbs to Sudan and Nigeria there lies the same inherent danger that is facing us all, that of Islamic terrorism.

Read this well written and reasoned essay. It encompasses a blueprint for rapprochement with an important element of Western society that has, almost against all reason and logic, unnecessarily distanced itself from Israel.

6. Al-Quaeda hip-hop jihad reality TV show from Somalia:

“Mortar by mortar, shell by shell, only going to stop when I send them to hell,” the unidentified voice raps on the video, which runs at least 18 minutes… The video also shows a man reported to be Abu Mansoor al-Amriki, dubbed “The American” by al Qaeda. He apparently is now in Somalia training and counseling Somalis from North America and Europe. He speaks in American English… “Away from your family, away from our friends, away from ice, candy bars, all those things is because we’re waiting to meet the enemy,” says the man believed to be al-Amriki.

Read the article and see the video on CNN.

7. Orthodox Jewish Community Struggles with Abuse Allegations:

The Brooklyn district attorney’s office, which last month announced a hotline for alleged Orthodox sex abuse victims, says it has 19 active cases of alleged sex abuse in the borough’s Orthodox Jewish community. And advocates say the problem extends beyond Brooklyn… “If you’re a pedophile, just go to one of the orthodox communities. You’re probably safest there,” said New York State Assemblyman Dov Hikind, himself an Orthodox Jew. “It’s sad for me to say that, but it’s true.”

I don’t know if “stuggle” is the right word. Seems there’s still a lot of denial and obfuscation. Seems to me that the powers that be in these communities need to understand that the truth will always come out and that it’s MUCH less of a Chillul Hashem to openly deal with allegations of sexual abuse then it is to hide them.

8. Artistic Genius and Self Destructive behavior - Understanding Amy Winehouse by considering Jean Rhys, author of Wide Sargasso Sea:

Amy Winehouse turns her black, bewildered eyes towards the cameras and we too are bewildered. Why does she seem to want to kill herself with drugs? Is the source of her pain the source of her genius? We seem to have been asking these questions for years, as she disintegrates yet further, live on Sky News… But a superb new book has just come out that provides clues. Lilian Pizzichini has written a portrait of Jean Rhys - the patron saint of alcoholic writers. Her life was an opera of violence and self-destruction. She was helpless; she wanted to destroy herself and she did, and between the blackouts and the chaos, the occasional novel leaked out.

Boy am I glad I’m not a Female genius consumed by self loathing with a substance abuse problem…

9. Sarah Silverman wins Webby Awards!

Sarah Silverman’s plug for “The Great Schlep” — the effort to get young Jews down to Florida so that they could convice their grandparents to vote for Barack Obama — won the Webby Award for best political video. Silverman also won the best actress award — for this not-for-the-children video about her fictitious affair with actor Matt Damon.

Eishet Chayil Mi Yimtsah? Is she still dating that dope Kimmel? Oy.

10. The Greatest Jewish Resurrection Since Jesus Christ? Winona Ryder set to make a big come back:

Dazzling, rebellious and iconoclastic, she was the elfin beauty in the 1980s bratpack before her conviction for shoplifting and spectacular fall from grace. Now the star of Heathers and The Age of Innocence is returning with a batch of summer movies…

Yes. She’s Jewish. I say “Yay!”

11. I sense the apocalypse approaching - The JTA releases its list of the 100 Most Influential Jewish Twitterers. Much controversy ensues - Google it if you care. Against all reason or logic, I was ranked number 2. Good lord. Geez you guys - my entire presence on twitter is an elaborate joke!

This year is different for us in Southern California. Every year about this time, UC Irvine hosts an Israel hate fest and this year we’ll be getting one more.

This year, though, there’s also some good news! Amid all the misinformation about Israel, at least at San Diego State University there is another type of discussion going on. At SDSU this coming Sunday, May 10, 2009, from 1:00-8:00 pm, the Jewish Studies Program together with the San Diego Agency for Jewish Education are running a one day Israel symposium. They are bringing out nine scholars who specialize in the study of Israel and are planning to have different themes discussed throughout a day of teaching and learning.

Nine leading Israeli scholars currently residing or teaching in the US have been invited to share their views on three different subjects. Under the general title of “Israel in the 21st Century: New Hopes, New Challenges,” three scholars each will address in succession the following themes: Israeli Society in the 21st Century, Israel in the Global Era, and Peace and War.

This event is free to faculty & students but advanced registration is required. There is a charge to community members.

For more detailed information please see the website.

This unique event will open up the world of current Israeli sociology, politics and thought to the broader San Diego community, allowing lay learners and academics alike to hear from a distinguished panel of experts speaking about various aspects of current life in Israel.

Muffti wonders if he’ll take a plane or train! The number of famous politicians addressing the crowd is huge (see the bolded part below) and sure to fuel yet more speculation, publication and accusations about ‘the Lobby’ controlling America’s foreign policy. Muffti thinks, naturally, that this is ridiculous but while Israel is an important ally worthy of aid and consideration, it’s a bit creepy (n’est pas?) that it draws more members of congress than ANY event other than a joint session or state of the union. (Is one of our more sensitive readers/posters going to claim that Politico is anti-Semitic for this claim?) It leads Muffti to wonder if such displays are actually all that wise. In any case, according to politico:

Vice President Joe Biden will headline the American Israel Public Affairs Committee’s annual conference, which begins tomorrow in Washington, D.C., a source at the group said.

The announcement that Biden will speak Monday morning comes a day after a victory for the group and the pro-Israel community; the Justice Department decided to drop charges of mishandling classified information against two former AIPAC staffers.

The conference, a chance for AIPAC to flex its unmatched Beltway muscle, is expected draw 6,500 people, and a phalanx of top officials of both parties. Other speakers include Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman John Kerry, Newt Gingrich and Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, as well as congressional leaders Steny Hoyer, Dick Durbin, Eric Cantor, and Jon Kyl. The event typically draws more members of Congress than any outside a joint session or State of the Union.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will also be addressing the group, live via satellite from Jerusalem, getting up at 3:00 a.m. local time to do it. Rep. Jane Harman, who was investigated in connection with the dropped case against AIPAC staffers, will also be speaking.

Rob Tannenbaum of the band Good For The Jews came to Israel for the first time, accompanied by his lovely girlfriend Gabrielle. We took an informal tour of the old city including a visit to Har ha Bayit (the Temple Mount, where I rocked my stupid Mohawk) and capped off our fun day with an impromptu performance of “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat” in front of Jaffa Gate in the shadow of the Tower of David. Thanks to the amazing Talya Lev who backed up Rob with guitar and shaved my head. Israeli reaction? We were sitting next to deaf people so no. Not so much. Enjoy!

The pro-Israel world is aflutter at the vindication - those are the words of the Washington Post - of the two staffers that were under indictment for espionage. Formerly on the staff of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, Mr. Steven Rosen and his colleague Keith Weissman were charged with violating the World War I-era Espionage Act; specifically, “that they had disseminated sensitive information gathered during conversations with government officials to members of the press and foreign diplomats.”

Ben Smith at Politico tells us:

The Justice Department filing blames unfavorable preliminary rulings in the case and the “nature, quantity, and quality of evidence” against the two men, Steve Rosen and Keith Weissman, who were charged with mishandling classified information, which they allegedly passed on to Israel. Their lawyers have argued that the information was not actually secret, and court rulings had bolstered their ability to make that argument.

JTA broke the news, which is a black eye for the FBI, a relief for the Israel lobby, and a sort of vindication for Jane Harman.

One of the men, Rosen, has filed a multimillion-dollar lawsuit against AIPAC for firing him as the case proceeded.

AIPAC’s Mega Conference is set to open on Monday. Will Rosen and Weissman will receives a heroe’s welcome, as if they had been released from custody? Unlikely.

Shot from the Machane Yehuda, Jerusalem’s Central Market, this morning at 11 am when the annual Memorial Day air raid siren sounded. Officially known as Yom Hazikaron or יום הזכרון לחללי מערכות ישראל ולנפגעי פעולות האיבה it is day when Israelis commemorate their fallen, 24,293 soldiers and counting. Later tonight we will break out of our sombre mood and celebrate Israel Independence Day. Till then, well… remember.

Speaking of memory, below is a guest post by writer Sara K. Eisen:

On Memory
Is a memory something you have or something you’ve lost? – Woody Allen (Spoken by Gena Rowlands (as Marion) in ‘Another Woman’)

Today we think of who we do not have and why, and then what that lack demands of us.

Tomorrow, about how we celebrate being alive to meet those demands.

Today is Memorial Day in Israel, honoring fallen soldiers and victims of terror, observed here a day before Independence Day. The connection is essential since it is widely recognized that without the former, celebrating the latter would be impossible, while always hoping that one day, this will not be the case. That there will be no more names on next year’s list of the fallen. It is, in other words, a sacred day we wish with all our hearts we didn’t need to observe, and in fact grapple with its necessity all the time.

Here’s something I wrote about potential loss and war when my husband was commanding an APC in Lebanon II. I was essentially the least supportive war wife ever, because I didn’t believe in the war. I later learned, from the Disney franchise of all places, that Hassan Nasrallah was counting on people like me to behave exactly as I did. (What does Disney have to do with the IDF and Hezbollah? Think Mufasa / Scar / Simba / Pridelands / Hakuna Matata / Circle of Life… Or just read the essay.)

In any event, Israel is not quite Western and also has a very small population - death by war is not something distant and abstract, since everyone has either lost someone or knows someone who has. As such, there are no Memorial Day sales and no Memorial Day home games and no Memorial Day picnics. There are, instead (not in addition), countless public ceremonies, school observances, lots of sad TV documentaries (and little else on) and public moments of silence when traffic stops all along the nation’s highways. It’s not a case where some of the country mourns its fallen sons and daughters and some of the country shops or watches baseball.

Memory is pervasive around here, fraught. It is as much something as it is a lack of something.

The mood shifts dramatically sometime around 5 pm, as people get ready for Independence Day, an out and out celebration, complete with picnics, barbecues, parties, fireworks, etc. Much like the Fourth of July.

(But stores: Still closed.)

It seems that Israeli memory is about a conscious decision to always be remembering and forgetting all the time, in the same instant, a constant argument between absence and presence that sometimes results in the type of massive virtual memory overload that can causes one to freeze. Independence Day is, to continue that metaphor, like one big national reboot.

In truth, I sometimes miss the days of memory being something you celebrate at Macy’s, unless, of course, you had someone die in Vietnam or Iraq, in which case your day might look a little Israeli.

In any event, this silence and seriousness and restraint and celebration of life that nearly everyone does around here is very intense and it makes me want to hide some days.

But then I forget that I need to. Memory is like that.

We’re now in the Yom season, as I call it, that time when at least once a week, for a few weeks, we have one day holidays. Some are days of somber remembrance, others days of celebration, recalling independence and reunification. But for as many Yoms occur during this spring season, and for all the remembering and commemoration, we are forgetting. We so easily forget the “chained” - the Agunot. These are women who are in the process of divorce, in Israel, and have been strung along by their self-righteous, bitter, misogynistic, temper-tantrum-throwing (and cbag) husbands. Some have been waiting for months, some for years and still others, for decades. They represent all women - of all shapes and sizes, of all backgrounds, ex-pats and sabras - and everywhere in between.

These ladies have been fighting the good fight on their home front - literally. They’ve been pushed and prodded, questioned and sometimes verbally abused by the Israeli bureaucracy. Unable to reclaim their lives unless their husband (soon to be, or not, ex) allows them.

And at some point, when the time eventually comes (it doesn’t for some), a group of old men with beards sit in judgement of every argument she and her husband had and have the power to decide if her life is horrible enough to force the husband to give her a get. There is no consideration of the damage this antiquated and one-sided process can cause - for either of them (not forgetting the children, if there are any).

The Agunot deserve to be recognized and remembered. During the Yom season, we recall those who have suffered injustice. So where is Yom HaAgunot?

With so much craziness going on in the world, we have to stick together and show solidarity for Israel. Jewlicious has joined the largest Israel Festival in the USA to help bring you an amazing show by MOSHAV. Join us for an afternoon of fun, music, and friends. Vendors, food, Israel vibe everywhere - there will be 10-20,000 people there. ONLY $5 Check out the Jewlicious Booth where we will have a free gift! This is going to be a huge party and we look forward to seeing you!

MOSHAV play at 4pm so you want to be there by 3 to get parking and make your way to the stage.
Join the Jewlicious Facebook Event here
Israel Festival
Sunday, May 3, 2009 10 am – 7 pm
At Woodley Park Admission $5
All day fun for adults, kids and families — Rides, food, and a variety of booths and more….
For more info: www.israelfestival,com or 818-757-0123

REPEAT! Moshav @ 4pm on the main stage….don’t miss this show for Israel!

In recent weeks I’ve had to repeat, several times, that I advocate a unilateral Israeli withdrawal from most of the West Bank to the portion of Judea and Samaria that is west of the Security Fence. I don’t believe this will constitute a final border, but it will remove a pretty sharp arrowhead from Israel’s bleeding achilles heel.

To be clear, I consider the West Bank to be “disputed” territory and not occupied. I believe this land is the cradle of Jewish civilization, perhaps to a greater degree even than where Israel is situated today. I abhor the bigotry that causes the Arabs to seek to remove all of the Jews from their midst. I am fully aware that the Palestinians do not seek a Jewish state called Israel to exist next to them and have designs on the entire area (including Jordan).

I have little sympathy for the Palestinians and their war on Israel. They could have and should have made peace long ago, and the formula has been on the table for almost a decade. In other words, I don’t believe that justice rests with the Palestinians. They have not earned a state or the right to a state. They have shown in Gaza that left to their own devices, they will use their resources to wage war rather than build their society and economy.

The weepy Left excuses all of these shortcomings, usually by blaming Israel: “the Occupation;” “the starvation of Palestinians;” “genocide;” “cruelty;” “collective punishment;” “resistance;” etc. They fall all over themselves justifying Palestinian terrorism, Palestinian war-mongering, Palestinian anti-Semitism and even Palestinian lies and perfidy.

For example, if you read a number of the anti-Zionist blog-sites out there, even ones written by Jews, they have taken recent Palestinian claims about ownership of the Dead Sea Scrolls at face value. They actually call Israelis thieves for possessing the Scrolls even though the Scrolls are written in Hebrew and Aramaic, contain the books of the Torah, and other writings that relate to religious life and belief among those Judeans who lived in the area we now call the West Bank a couple of thousand years ago. There could not be a clearer case of artifacts bearing the cultural heritage of a people than the relationship between the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Jewish people. And yet, in a cynical game played by the very same people who declare openly that Jews have no historic, religious or cultural connection to the Land of Israel, the Palestinians claim and demand ownership of these treasures of Jewish history.

In other words, morality is not the Palestinians’ strong suit. Their sympathizers have to twist themselves into awkward pretzel-like shapes to excuse the behavior of the Palestinians over this past century of conflict. Of course, they do it by constantly casting blame upon the Jews and upon Zionists.

By leaving most of the West Bank/Judea and Samaria, Israel would be handing over this important area to the Palestinians.

Then again, the Israelis are far from perfect themselves. The ongoing construction of settlements over the past 40 years has been an epic mistake.

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The man runs a dictatorship that gets hundreds of millions in US Aid, and has a peace treaty with Israel. He says in a recent interview with NPR, that Israel is the problem in the region, and that Israel needs to decide to be a good neighbors.

Its not lack of freedom, terrorism, water resources, discrimination of women, minorities, etc etc. that might be part of the cause for the lack of peace. Nah!

No, this Oxford educated political genius, pegs it all on Israel. Wow that is so original.

The ultimate “prize” for the Israelis, King Abdullah said, is recognition by the 57 Arab and Muslim nations that don’t have relations with the Jewish state. He says Israel is at a critical juncture now and has to decide whether it wants to be “integrated into the neighborhood” or continue to be “fortress Israel.”

When you listen to the interview, in almost sounds like he is saying that Israel is at a juncture. . . for existence. You listen, and tell me that I am not dreaming this up.

Hey… I’m the new girl. You can learn all about me from my bio on the “about” page.  I’ve still got Pesach on the brain and since this lil bit helped get me to where I am today, this very moment - I thought I’d share. Even though, when my parents read this, they might not be so proud. Or maybe they’ll finally go…international pressure is on! So, Next Year in Jerusalem it is:

Every year at the seder, Jews through the Diaspora end the evenings order by announcing ” Next Year in Jerusalem!”. This year, I returned from Jerusalem only days before the first seder, and as part of me was wishing I was still there, it got me thinking. Why is it OK to break the 9th Commandment (no lying) during Pesach, but not OK to eat flat breads, like naan or tortilla because they don’t resemble cardboard? For real: how many people say “Next Year in Jerusalem” and mean it or follow through?

For example: my parents, during their marriage alone, have said “Next Year in Jerusalem” twice a year for 34 years. How many times have they travelled to Israel? Zero. My parents, who dutifully kasher their home for for Pesach every year, who attend shul every Shabbat, who have countless sets of dishes, utensils and cookware, who are involved wholly in their Jewish community…and they’ve not once set foot in the Holy Land when they’ve announced 68 times - “Next Year in Jerusalem”.

Before I left for Israel last month, I told my parents that I would use my camera to document all of the amazing things I saw there, so that they would see what they’re missing. I took pictures of everything I could - the scenery change from rocky terrain outside of Jlem to grassy mountains carpeted with wildflowers in the Golan…from the mudpits at the Dead Sea to the lapping waters of the Kinneret. Even of my younger cousins’ gelato covered faces as we walked through the German Colony. And what shayne punims! If their doe-eyed, chocolate-faced cuteness wasn’t enough to lure my parents to Israel, what could?

I’ve been emailing them often with information about organized trips for adults - so if anyone knows of some - let me know. It’s my goal to get my parents to Israel by this time next year!

The World Conference Against Racism 2009 hit the apex of ridiculousness yesterday when Iranian President and Holocaust denier Mahmoud Ahmadinejad addressed the delegates in a speech that brought out killer clowns and caused most of the representatives of the civilized world to walk out. But there was behind the scenes ridiculousness as well!

Following the conclusion of the Iranian President’s speech, members of the World Union of Jewish Students, human rights groups, Students Against Racism, Prof. Alan Dershowitz , Nobel Laureate Ellie Wiesel, and American actor John Voight held a second silent protest outside of Ahmadinejad’s press conference, while others read aloud the Universal Declaration of Human Rights… In a move of comic tradegy,UN officials approached the group telling them “you cannot read that here”. An Iranian group began heckling the protest with cries of “end the Holocaust in Gaza”. The group protesting Ahmadinejad responded with a chant, “no to racism, yes to human rights”. This resulted in those protesting Ahmadinejad’s racism having their United Nations accreditation removed for the remainder of the conference. Security staff entirely ignored the antics of the Iranian responsible for the provocation.

Le grand mechant sigh. But yeah, down with racism! Woohoo. What a joke. What are these poor anti-Ahmadinejad protesters supposed to do now? Do you have any idea how fucking boring Geneva is??

Well obviously we are no longer broadcasting from Cafe Aroma in the shuk. Instead I replaced the live feed with a photo of Jerusalem rapper Rinat Guttman who popped by and did some freestyle acapella rapping for the dozens of viewers from around the world who joined us in Machane Yehuda. Also on hand was Jewlicious poster dahlia who talked about, you know, this and that. It was nice chatting with all of you and I’m sure we’ll live broadcast again from somewhere in Jerusalem… stay tuned?

…and who did I run into at Café Aroma? Female Orthodox rapper Rinat Guttman and g-dcast dude, ROI alum, myjewishlearning.com guru and all around great guy Matthue Roth. We shot the shit, Matthue gave Rinat his business card so that myjewishlearning could maybe do a feature on her and I showed them the new g-dcast (Parshat Shemini) because Matthue hadn’t seen it yet (he’s traveling with family). This week’s G-dcast is narrated by JDub’s DeLeon. It’s pretty awesome, enjoy!

Oh and Shabbat Shalom mofos…

Well, it wasn’t a break really as I never have official time off, but Passover, above and beyond the Seders and ceremonies, was indeed action packed this year! I’ll go into the details later, but enjoy the pics for now - we have the once every 28 years Birkat Hachama, Good Friday in Jerusalem and this insane hiking and camping trip I took in the Golan. Happy what’s left of Passover!

www.flickr.com Jewlicious’ Passover 2009 photoset

Save the Date - America’s Largest Israel Independence Day Festival is May 3rd, and Jewlicious is proud to be a sponsor. Over 20,000 people are expected at this year’s day-long festival featuring multiple stages, art-fair, food vendors, performances from some of Israel’s biggest acts, games, and other attractions. Entrance is only $5. Stay tuned for more details about the Israel Festival and have a HAPPY PASSOVER!

I so am the cutest! Thanks to Daddy (you know him as Harry) for stepping away from the new Jerusalem.com in order to man the camera. Or was it Ima (aka Zeva of Designist Dream)? I can’t remember, I’m just a fucking kid!!

Our Save Passover initiative has already raised $485.67 from 19 generous donors! Today, along with the 33 NIS boxes of Matza (5 packs to a box!) I also bought some modest 30 NIS bottles of wine. The Passover seder involves the consumption of lots and lots of wine and since you guys have been so generous, I figured why not? But there was a problem. How do I give away wine? What possible story could I offer without making people feel bad for accepting a hand out? That’s when inspiration struck and I decided to recast myself as a recovering alcoholic! But my friends and family don’t know see? And they gifted me with all this wine that I can’t possibly have anywhere near me or else I’ll relapse and soon they will see me wandering the streets of the shuk at night yelling incoherently at passerby, my 6 years 4 months and 7 days of complete abstinence shot to hell! So yeah, it worked! People were really nice about it too as they unburdened me of that sweet, sweet life destroying nectar of the Gods. Heh.

I also need to thank Shula (not her real name) for her inadvertent help in identifying needy families in the hood. Shula is a widow with 5 boys and she knows everybody! She made some calls and I was able to get rid of the last of my wine and Matza. Problem now is I can never buy a beer and drink it in public. Oh well. We all have our crosses to bear! So to speak… In any case, should you wish to make any last minute contributions to Save Passover, you can use the button below. Thanks so much to everyone who has participated in this crazy project! And those of you that haven’t, here’s your last chance!

Also, as I mentioned in a previous post:

If you want to make a big donation, need a tax deduction or simply feel that I will spend your money on coke and hookers, please visit the Table to Table Web site and make a donation there while reading about their many innovative programs that aim to fight food hunger and waste in Israel. Like what? Like their Hametz initiative! Instead of throwing away your Hametz, you give it to Table To Table, they sell it, store it, and after Passover give it to food banks and stuff! Neat right?

Seriously. They’re much better at this than I am…

During a speech in Baghdad, “Palestinian” President Mahmoud Abbas (a.k.a. Abu Mazen) stated that in order for negotiations to continue between his government and Israel, Israel’s new government would have to “accept the creation of a Palestinian state, stop construction in West Bank Israeli settlements and remove army roadblocks crippling life in the West Bank so that we can resume dialogue in order to reach a political solution.” This statement, at first glance, appears more than reasonable. After all, why should he try to engage with people who don’t recognize his “people’s” right to statehood, and are attempting to undermine that statehood. However, on closer examination, this statement is practically laughable.

First, the crippling of the West Bank has less to do with roadblocks than with a lack of economy. While a part of the poor economy can be blamed on Israeli security measures, such as roadblocks and checkpoints, and an additional part can be blamed on competition from other Arab states (after all, how different are the goods produced in Gaza City from those in Cairo, or those in the West Bank from those in the East Bank), the far larger part is that of the “Palestinians.” P.A. laws are not written in a way which secure property rights, thereby going against the Coase Theorem, and preventing investment. Think about it, would you invest somewhere where you weren’t sure the government or some other strongman would one day just claim it for their own, and you would have little or no legal recompense to get it back. Moreover, with low education, even minor innovations, such as the use of newer tractors or agricultural techniques are not implementable. Furthermore, regardless of whether you think there is an inherent right in armed militias in the “Palestinian territories,” there nonetheless exists a situation in which a manufacturer cannot be certain that his (and this is not meant to be non-politically correct, but realistically, I have yet to have read a report about a female manufacturer in the West Bank) goods will even make it to market, forget in a timely manner.

Second, why would the Israeli government want to stop building settlements when they are a useful bargaining chip? If he wants settlements dismantled, or wants them to stop being built, he should be negotiating for it. Now, I’m not saying that its right for Israel to keep constructing settlements, but frankly, its strategically smart for the Israeli government to keep building, so as to put pressure on the “Palestinians” and bring them to the negotiating table. It’s not as though terrorist attacks aren’t occurring and that Israel is simply ignoring a large population. With each new settlement or settlement expansion, the message is: talk to us now, for in a few years, there will be little or nothing to talk about. In essence, it is establishing an “Iron Wall.”

Third, regardless of whether it is fair, “Palestinians” are not in the position to be issuing demands. If the Israeli government chooses to, and can find a country which will take them, the government could, though illegally**, to transfer the entire Arab population of the West Bank, thereby removing the whole question of “Palestinian” statehood in the regions of Judea and Samaria. While I am not advocating such an action, it seems to me that the Abbas should be trying to convince Israel to talk to him and to help establish his state, rather than leave his people at risk of not having one. That is, of course, if his goal is the establishment of a Palestinian state, something of which this author is not so sure.

 

**Thanks to P.J. for pointing out that I had misremembered the Geneva Convention!

Sell your land to a Jew and you can get the death penalty. Well, if you live in an area controlled by the P.A., you can. Palestine Authority Chief Islamic Judge Sheikh Tayseer Rajab Tamimi issued a warning reminding his constituents that should they sell their land to Jews, they are guilty of high treason, punishable by death. This reminder is based on an existing fatwa from 1935 prohibiting Muslims from selling their land to Zionists. Sheikh Tamimi extended the fatwa to include the renting of property in East Jerusalem to Jews. To clarify, if you are a Muslim and you rent/sell your property to a Jew, you are guilty of high treason and can be killed. Further, if you aid in the renting/selling of the property, you are, also, guilty of high treason, and can, therefore, be killed.

For years, I have argued that if Israel wants to have full legal control of the land of Judea and Sumaria (i.e. the West Bank), they should buy it; pay the land owners twice the property value, and just buy out the land. This was the original Zionist policy: they would buy swamp land in the north of the Palestine Mandate for more than twice the cost of fertile land in Missouri (far, far more than its worth). It appears that some American Jews bought some land near the Mount of Olives, and that this triggered the reminder. The extension to include renting is supposedly an attempt to keep out “immoral” influences. (After all, just think of all the immoral imfluences that will come from those charedim who want to rent in East Jerusalem). It is, also, a move to prevent that which is de facto from becoming de juro. If East Jerusalem only has Jewish residents, the strength of “Palestinian” claims to the city would be greatly diminished.

In any case, its always nice to get a confirmation as to how moderate the P.A. is. Imagine what the law would be if it was controlled by people who aren’t moderates! Instead of killing the seller, they’d likely kill the seller’s family as well. Regardless, it is my sincere feeling that when the West says “moderate” and the Islamists say “moderate,” there is a slight gap between that to which each party refers.

. . . At least according to an opinion piece in today’s Jewish Journal by Persian Community leaders, David Peyman and Sam Yebri.

He then made a startling observation — that whether Israel should continue to exist as a Jewish state or whether Hamas’ grievances are valid and justified … “that’s where the debate is going.”

Shocking?

Having been a reader of the LA Times since we arrived on the West Coast nearly five years ago, I have seen the paper become more and more anti-Israel. Their coverage? Anything that paints Israel in a poor light is front page news.

There is a parade of lies that populate the Letter to the Editor section. It seems any racist that hates Jews and Israel is allowed to vent themselves.

Articles with scathing criticism of Israel clearly outnumber anything remotely negative about the Palestinians - perhaps CAMERA has some stats.

Then the rub - LA times publishing the op-ed piece from Hamas during the Gaza War. No counterpart from the Israeli side. Nada.

The Persian Jewish leaders quoted above had arranged a meeting with the LA Times Opinion Editor because of the perceived bias, and were allowed in the door. They were treated courteously. The meeting was civil. However the banality of the evil expressed in the phrase “whether Israel should continue to exist as a Jewish state” demands that the Jewish community wake-up.

They published a piece in 2007 from Saree Makdisi, a UCLA professor who claimed that the paper was heavily pro-Israel. “In the war of words, The Times is Israel’s ally: The paper consistently adopts Israel’s language, giving credence to an inaccurate, simplistic and dangerous cliche.” The piece went on to question the right of Israel to exist. Honest Reporting took action on this piece and questioned at the time whether the LA Times believed Israel had a right to exist.

CAMERA wrote in 2004 “the LA Times’ reporters and others should report more fairly and fully about Israeli military operations and include context about Palestinian children being callously encouraged by their teachers and leaders to place themselves in the line of fire.

The LA Times is owned by Tribune company, owned by Sam Zell, and their phone number is 888-287-7568. Gary Weitman is Senior Vice President for Corporate Relations and can be reached directly at gweitman@tribune.com.

Eddy W. Hartenstein is the Publisher and Chief Executive Officer of the Los Angeles Times since August 2008. E-mail: readers.rep@latimes.com, Telephone message line: (877) 554-4000

The LA Times which has been hurting for years - well before the recession - can’t afford to lose many readers. They might react to a mob of letters and phone calls that threaten to cancel their subscriptions and switch to more Israel friendly media.