The lead investigator for Human Rights Watch, the one that accused Israel of intentionally bombing kids on a beach, and using phosphorous as a weapon, and other Gaza war-crimes has been discovered to be an unapologetic, a world-class collector of Nazi keepsakes, and Neo-Nazi swag.

This news was brought to light thanks to pro-Israel bloggers, first reported by Elders of Ziyon blog, then reposted by Mere Rhetoric. Since word of Marc’s dubious personal life was revealed more than a week ago, it took until today for the NY Times to cover the story… on page A4. And not with the picture above, but with a standard head shot.

Back in 2006, I will never forget the allegations that he spread across the globe claiming Israel intentionally killed sunbathers in Gaza.

Marc Garlasco, a former Pentagon analyst who’s now a senior researcher for Human Rights Watch, said all the evidence he had gathered in Gaza pointed to an Israeli shell as the cause of the explosion.

“Based on what I have seen, I’d be shocked if it was anything other than that,” Garlasco said.

The IDF stood by their story that the blast was that of a bomb or mine placed by Palestinians on the beach. (See our articles here and here) The bomb was apparently part of an effort to prevent IDF ground forces from storing the beach. Remember that the ambulances arrived in seconds, that the videos and photos from the scene were suspicious, and that the bodies were retrieved before the investigation could be completed? Oh and that the IDF was not shooting in that area?

Oh but Marc Garlasco, the Nazi Hoodie sporting, 400-page-Nazi-Medals-book-writing, grandson of a Nazi, knew better. And predictably the world, personified by Kofi Anan, claimed it was Israel’s fault.

Human Rights Watch continues to disgrace itself, on the eve of Judgment Day. First they denied everything. Ooops. Now they suspended Mr. Garlasco WITH pay, pending an investigation. And blame the Jews for trying deflect attention away from the Israel.

Debate Link points out:

When the story broke, HRW responded in what is rapidly becoming typical fashion: accusing critics of being motivated solely by the desire “to deflect attention from Human Rights Watch’s rigorous and detailed reporting on violations of international human rights and humanitarian law by the Israeli government.”…

the expressive message HRW is sending out is that it does not particularly care if Jewish persons and organizations find them biased, unfair, or hostile.

It was also revealed that Marc Garlasco’s ID on the Nazi Memento site was “FLAK88″. Afriend of mine informed me that when one sees an 88, it could be shorthand for HH (the eighth letter of the alphabet) i.e. “Heil Hitler.”

Though it also just be might be a reference to an infamous Nazi German large caliber anti-aircraft gun. According to Wiki “The German Condor Legion made extensive use of the FlaK 88 in the Spanish Civil War, where its usefulness as an anti-tank weapon and a general artillery …”. It also appears as a popular weapon in Call of Duty.

Does Marc Galasco’s admitted fetish for collecting old and new Nazi paraphernalia, wearing Nazi sweatshirts, leather coats, and who knows what else, writing a long book about Nazi medals make affect his opinions about Israel? Fo shizzle!

Marc Garlasco’s Booty:

Sorry. What am I? Fucking 12 years old or something? No. You don’t in fact have cooties. I don’t even know what cooties are. Man. A generous interpretation would be that I am writing this in a fit of whimsy! Why? Because after watching the latest interview on Leadel.net with Tel Aviv musician Kutiman, I am addicted…

Ya gotts ta check out Kutiman’s YouTube musical alchemy project Thru You where he takes otherwise banal musical video clips from YouTube, many shot in drab, North American Suburban basements or bedrooms and magically transforms them into wicked ass grooves. I am sure the women at Hadassah are bumpin’ booties to “The Mother of All Funk Chords” as we speak! Kutiman also fronts the Kutiman Orchestra which includes the amazing MC Karolina and you better believe next time they perform in my neck of the woods, I’m a be there.

And already she has prevented a sabbath violation!

So I’m sitting at a place called Tarrantino on Hillel and the paper near me (Yediot) reports that Madonna landed last night at Ben Gurion. Accompanied by her kids and a large posse, Esther plans on visiting Jerusalem prior to her two shows at Park Hayarkon in Tel Aviv on Tuesday and Wednesday. Yediot reports that her crew was already in town last week to build the stage for the shows. However, Madonna insisted that all work cease Friday night so as to avoid a violation of the Sabbath. OK, all that kabbalah junk aside, see? Madonna is more Jewish than you are. Heh. Shavuah tov Madge. Break a leg. Tuesday’s show is sold out but some tickets are still available for the next day’s show with prices starting at 490 NIS (about $125).

When a law is made, or a ruling is handed down by the Supreme Court, all citizens are meant to follow it. Yet, a certain governmental agency in Israel has decided to ignore this basic principle of democratic nations. Israel’s Religious Affairs Ministry has decided that it is above the law.

Earlier this year, the Israeli Supreme Court ruled that the Ministry of Religious Affairs must fund non-Orthodox institutions if they provide Jewish services. The specific case was about the funding of conversion programs of non-Orthodox institutions, such as those of the Reform and Conservative movements in Israel, yet may easily be extrapolated to include other Jewish services. Despite this ruling, religious Affairs Minister Ya’akov Margi stated last week that state-funding for religious services will only be given to Orthodox institutions, and that the Reform and Conservative movements ought to fund their own services. Margi stated that, “According to the law for Jewish Religious Services, the Chief Rabbinate is the sole body responsible for providing religious services. And they do this in accordance with Halacha. Since the Conservative and the Reform do not conform to Halacha, they are not eligible for state funds. Nor do they have the right to use existing mikvaot and synagogues.” However, it would appear that the true sentiment behind this is, to quote Finance Committee chairman Moshe Gafni, “The Reform Movement is not a legitimate form of Judaism. [They] are a bunch of treacherous backstabbers to Judaism. They are jokers who operate without hierarchy and without rules.”

Natan Sharansky, head of the Jewish Agency sent a letter to the Ministry of Religious Affairs saying the following:
“I was surprised to read your statements in The Jerusalem Post in which you claim that only institutions that are run in accordance with Halacha are eligible for Religious Affairs Ministry funding. I wish to remind you that the Religious Affairs Ministry is not a halachic body and is responsible for providing religious services to all citizens of the state of Israel from all religions, streams and congregations who need these services.

The Religious Affairs Ministry must ensure religious freedom and prevent infringement of citizens’ rights in this field. The Jewish Agency calls on the Religious Affairs Ministry to fulfill its responsibility to all the religious congregations in Israel and to foster mutual respect and brotherhood among different religious approaches and beliefs. By doing so the ministry will deepen appreciation and respect for Jewish tradition.”

I would like to congratulate Mr. Sharansky on this action. But more so, I would like to add my utter contempt for the statement by the Minister of Religious Affairs and his associates. The question at stake is not whether these individuals believe that either Reform or Conservative Judaism are “legitimate.” Rather, it is a question as to whether a governmental institution will abide by the rulings of its own Supreme Court. Debate and even disagreement is legitimate, but this should not be demonstrated through contempt for the court. If rulings by the Court are to be ignored at will, then what is the point of the Court? How is the system of checks and balances supposed to function? Then again, maybe these individuals would prefer that there be no Court, no system of checks and balances, no democracy; maybe these individuals believe themselves to be elected monarchs who may rule over the public as “benign” dictators. It would appear that such statements indicate that Margi and his compatriots see themselves as above the law.

Yeah, yeah. Happy Birthday Gilad. I signed up for this thing on twitter called #Tweet4Shalit and I’ll be honest? I was hoping NOT to have to tweet for his release. It’s like I’d rather do ANYTHING than sit all day in front of my computer and compose plaintive messages in 140 fucking characters or less talking about how unjust it is that he’s been held in captivity for three years – boo hoo hoo – and the Hamas fuckers haven’t let anyone see him – waah waah waah – and he can’t contact anyone, and his captivity is incredibly cruel and a war crime and oh so terrible, waah fucking waah. I don’t want to “tweet 4 shalit.” Gilad Shalit is just a regular guy. He ought not merit all this attention. Shalit should be eating watermelon in Eilat. He should be coming back from his trip to India or Thailand or South America boring the shit out of everyone about the spiritual epiphanies he experienced at Machu Piccu or Ko Pi Pi or in some ashram somewhere. He should be butting in line at the bus station. He should be getting ready to begin his academic career in the pursuit of whatever Lil’ Bo Peep “toar rishon” diploma he’d be pursuing. He should be hanging out with his friends grilling way too much meat and camping out by the Kinneret and being way to fucking loud. If he was here I’d tell him to shut the fuck up and pour him another Arak limonada. But noooo. Instead I have to tweet about how tragic it is that he is spending yet another birthday in Hamas captivity.

Seriously. I’m sick of this. I don’t want to do this anymore. Bring Gilad home so I can give him a whack upside the head. It might also help if you tweet and use the #GiladShalit and #Tweet4Gilad hash tags so we can make sure it trends. If you don’t know what that means, well… I don’t know what to tell you. Do something else for Gilad today. Write a blog post, leave a comment, email your friends or find him, give him a whack upside the head from me and then bring him home to his Mom.

Featuring: MGMT, Faith No More, Dinosaur Jr. James Murphy & Pat Mahoney from LCD Soundsystem, The Dallas Guild and The Monotonix

From the press release:

For the first time ever, Israel will host an international music conference – “Heineken Music Conference”. The conference will take place on Tuesday – Wednesday, 1-2 of September 2009 in the Israel Trade Fairs Center in Tel-Aviv, under the initiative of the Heineken brand… The Heineken Music Conference will host senior and key personalities from the international music industry that will arrive especially to Israel in order to participate in the conference, as well as local representatives from the Israeli music scene, among them: record company representatives, artist managers, international agents, media personalities and producers… An indie festival will take place in the evening, with preferences by MGMT, Faith No More, Dinosaur jr., LCD Soundsystem in a special Disco set, The Dallas Guild and the Monotonix.

Usually I’d throw in some clever commentary but all I can think is wow! I am impressed that this was pulled off. And that it’s going to happen. It’s not just a kick ass show, but also an industry meetup that will help get Israel on the international music map. Well, hopefully anyway. The list of Industry bigwigs is impressive and program sounds pretty good! So.. for more information, check out www.heineken.co.il and for press inquiries call Hani Levi, Gil-Ad Branding P.R. 03-6448050 / 054-6644677.

Hat tip to Jeremy at Israel Artist Agency

Nothing’s ever that black and white.

Another Kumbaya Moment

I could not help but gush at the recent news that showed how effectively J-Street, the peace loving, pro-Israel alternative to AIPAC, has managed to bridge gaps between Arabs and Jews. This heart warming news was reported by the Jerusalem Post after perusing J-Street’s Federal Election Commission filings:

The J Street political action committee has received tens of thousands of dollars in donations from dozens of Arab and Muslim Americans, as well as from several individuals connected to organizations doing Palestinian and Iranian issues advocacy…

J-Street has raised a whopping $111,000 so far this year and its contributors include Finance Committee members ($10k minimum contribution) Richard Abdoo, a current board member of Amideast and a former board member of the Arab American Institute, and Genevieve Lynch, who is also a member of the National Iranian American Council board. The Jerusalem Post also notes smaller contributions by representatives of the Saudi Government, members of the State Department, several leaders of Muslim student groups, Saudi- and Iranian-born Americans, and Palestinian- and Arab-American businessmen. Kudos go out to J-Street for bringing these disparate voices together in support of it’s staunchly pro-Israel agenda!

And J-Street isn’t just about building bridges. No sir. J-Street is also about helping friends out. Remember that poll back in March 2009 commissioned by J-Street? You know the one that showed how American Jews were surprisingly supportive of J-Street’s agenda? The poll administered by the firm of Gerstein | Agne? Well, it turns out that Jim Gerstein, principal at Gerstein | Agne is, according to J Street’s 990 IRS form, J-Street’s Vice President. Gerstein’s presentation on J-Street’s Web site as an impartial analyst is probably a reflection of his humility and has nothing to do with perceptions of impartiality that may arise should that information become more apparent. Whatever the case may be, it is clear that Gerstein is a friend of J-Street and vice versa, and again, I am touched by this wonderful example of friends helping friends. Gerstein gets a nice high profile gig and J-Street gets rigorously administered polls and analysis. OK, so the numbers don’t quite mesh with other impartial polls, so what? What are you trying to say? Why must you be so cynical??

Come. Lets build a camp fire and start singing “Kumbaya.”

When I read the New York Times weddings announcement for Dr. Sarah Sternklar amd Marvin Davis in 1996, I had no inkling that they would produce such a mensch. Sternklar, a psychoanalyst, philanthropist, and teacher in New York, and Marvin Davis, a real estate professional who was intimately involved with the redevelopment of Times Square are the proud parents of a Bar mitzvah age young man, Benjamin Sternklar Davis.

Benjamin Sternklar Davis, a student at the Heschel School in Manhattan, gave $40,000 in bar mitzvah gift funds to the city of Sderot in Israel to fund a children‘s park. The Mayor of Sderot, David Buskila, said the Sternklar Davis can be the first kid to use the park when it is completed.

A pretty good idea. Start these emerging philanthropists young. Give kids money and then let them decide how to allocate it. Now that he is 13, I guess he can join the Jewish Teen Funders Network.

New York International Fringe Festival Comedy Sex and the Holy Land

One cannot ignore the correlation between sex and Israel that exists in the hearts and loins of the tens of thousands of parentally unsupervised diaspora youth that visit Israel every year. Many will explore the hills, valleys and bodies of water that dot the country while engaging in a similar exploration of each others bodies. Many will note the sheer sexiness of the terrain and the sun kissed people that inhabit it. A good number of diaspora women will have, uh… physical interactions with refreshingly forward Israelis, though a much smaller number of diaspora men will be so fortunate (Israeli women don’t tend to be very attracted to boyish, soft in the middle Jewish guys). Thus it is no surprise that Sex and the Holy Land, a play opening at the New York International Fringe Festival this week is focused on the adventures of Lili, a female protagonist. A similar play focusing on a guy’s adventures would read as follows: “Tried to get with soldier chick. Fail. Tried to get with girl medic. Fail. Tried to get with bartender girl. Fail. Finally got with that slut from Fresno who wanted to cheat on her boyfriend. Bitchin!” Yeah. Boring right? But from a woman’s perspective? Hotness. And funny too apparently.

From their press release:

SEX AND THE HOLY LAND is the tale of Lili’s plunge into a stereotype-shattering sexploration of Israel. Her two best friends and a string of Middle Eastern men lead Lili out of enslavement by the Greek Chorus of Jewish Mothers ruling in her mind. It is a coming of age comedy about liberation, religion, and love… Marking 23-year-old playwright Melanie Zoey Weinstein’s New York debut, SEX AND THE HOLY LAND was inspired by Weinstein’s study abroad experience in Tel Aviv in Spring 2007, following the Second Lebanon War. “It was a time of disillusionment and questioning for myself and many of my friends,” said Weinstein. “We were experiencing Israel for the first time as adults outside of the Jewish institutions in which we were raised.”

Sex and the Holy Land will be performed 5 times at the New York International Fringe Festival starting August 18. If you go see it, let us know what you think!

Hamas has reported that they are willing to deal “positively” with Obama’s Middle East Peace Plan “but only in exchange for a long-term truce.”

So let’s break this down:

1) This says that Hamas is going to engage in peace talks with the maximum its willing to do is a long-term truce. Does anyone else see the problem with this? I was under the impresion that on engaged in peace talks in order to obtain peace. I guess Hamas’ leadership is unaware of this fact.

2) One has to wonder, what could possibly possess Israel to consider giving up land and dealing with a terrorist organization in peace talks when that organization isn’t even offering peace. Let’s be clear here, if all you’re talking about is a long-term truce (hudna), peace is not on the table. This is a game of saying “we’re willing to acknowledge tha tde facto you exist, but are unwilling to recognizethe fact that you’re here because we don’t believe you have the right to be.”  This a way for Hamas to achieve a semi-long term secession of battles without giving up its right to resistance (muqawama).

Underhanded? Duplicitous? More than a tad.

Traffic all across Israel has ground to a snarl as police are checking cars looking for an IDF soldier that may have been kidnapped today at noon. Stay tuned as we’ll try to update you with the latest news as it becomes available. The police have yet to reveal any details to the press and have not officially mentioned any potential kidnappings.

UPDATE: The Jerusalem Post now reports that there was a nationwide roll call of all soldiers after a female soldier reported seeing 2 civilians forcing a soldier into a car last night near an air force base. A Palestinian group has already claimed to have successfully kidnapped a soldier:

The Palestinian Ma’an news agency reported that a previously unknown group calling itself the “Al-Quds Army” claimed responsibility for the reported capture in a statement sent to it… “A group of our resistance fighters captured an Israeli soldier near Ben Gurion Airport and withdrew with the soldier without incident . we will provide details about the captured soldier later,” the statement quoted on Ma’an’s Web site said.

FINAL UPDATE: False alarm! Thank goodness. Though I must say, having had to slog through all that traffic, I can’t help but be impressed by the efforts expended at saving just one soldier from the fate currently suffered by Gilad Shalit who has been held in captivity by Hamas for just over three years now, without a single visit from the Red Cross.

Thanks to my Twitter friend Koshmarik, I procured a wonderful book this week:

It’s chockful of beautiful pictures and little descriptions about Israel for kids by Czech guy M. Sasek. Normally, I am leery of Czech people and the Czech Republic in general, but this is a gem of a book. It was written in 1962, but it’s still mostly relevant to political boundaries today.  It’s also not dumbed down in any way, the way a lot of childrens’ books are,  and I wouldn’t hesitate to read it to my imaginary MENSA wunderkind child.   As a fun little activity, I’ve taken pictures of some of the artwork, and you can guess which part of Israel it portrays.  Answers will be revealed in the comments.

The first picture:

The second picture:

The third picture:

The fourth picture:

The fifth picture:

The sixth picture:

The seventh picture:

J-Street

I subscribe to many email lists of organizations that I don’t agree with. I like to see what people are sending out to their folks, how they portray themselves to their supporters versus how they portray themselves to the world. I like to see what they really think about themselves, and by getting their stuff, you get a picture over time of their ideas and agenda. So here is a little exploration of a recent J Street email to supporters that states their aims and objectives, and most importantly, their sense of arrogance. From our Jewish brothers and sisters over at J Street:

Do Jewish Americans and other friends of Israel support President Obama’s active and balanced pursuit of Middle East peace?

We have to prove that the answer to this question is yes — right now.

Defenders of the unworkable status quo [who likes the status quo?] are whispering to the White House and Congress that supporting the President’s thoughtful and balanced [blame the victim is now fair and balanced?] approach to the Middle East could hurt them politically.

We know that the majority of Jewish Americans – and of Americans generally – support the President’s balanced calls on Israel to freeze settlements, for the Palestinians to rein in violence and incitement, and for Arab states to take steps toward normalizing relations with Israel. [Which they have all completely rejected in today's papers.]

Each line can be discected, and the entire letter is below the fold. Buzz words that caught my eye include “whispered” implying a Jewish cabal. “Hurt them politically” which is the SOP of Israel Lobby conspiracists. The letter ends with “All of our futures are at stake…” really? “Our” future is at stake? Or theirs?

J Street is running hot and full of themselves after the Jewish summit with Obama, when their approach was the one favored by the Obama administration. I am reminded of the phrase from Pirkei Avot: Be careful in your relations with the government; for they draw no one close to themselves except for their own interests. They appear as friends when it is to their advantage, but they do not stand by someone in their time of stress.

When J Street’s approach fails to bring good polling numbers to the Obama camp, I am guessing that they will no longer have the ear of the inner circle.

J Street believes that American pressure is the answer! This will somehow convince Hizbollah and Hamas to give up their stated aim of destroying Israel, bring a democratic government to run a Palestinian state, get all the Arab states of the region to join in one big love hug with Israel, get Yesha to forget the Torah, and even make the lion lie with the lamb.

J Street has forgotten their Torah/Bible studies. Jews are a stiff necked people, and we don’t like people telling us what to do. Even God can’t tell us. And Israelis have an extra dose of stiff neckedness. American pressure has already hardened most Israelis and as we mentioned only 6% of Israelis back Obama’s policies. The current policies are likely to continue intransigence. As soon as the Obama folks have had enough of no results on the middle east, J Street’s star will no longer shine over the White House. There are millions of pro-Israel Christians whose support Obama needs much more.

I mean no ill will towards our brothers and sisters at J Street, I am not calling them names. I just think that their approach will get us nowhere fast.

(more…)

It was right under my nose the whole time!

So I was watching excerpts from “Unattached” , a Documentary Channel film, about the Shidduch Crisis focused on the Upper West Side of New York. Many in the Modern Orthodox world are concerned because young MO Jews are getting married later and later, foregoing marriage for career and school. The fears expressed include concerns about what this means for declining Jewish birth rates overall. Here’s the vid:

All sorts of solutions have been proposed for this problem but none seem to be working. As I thought of this I glanced at a chart I was reading regarding population figures in the West Bank and Gaza:

VI.	West Bank & Gaza Strip: Arab Population (1948-2005)
	B. Chart

---

Year

West Bank

Gaza Strip

---

1948

462,100

82,500

---

1950*

765,000

240,000

---

1960

799,000

302,000

---

1970**

677,000

368,000

---

1980

964,000

497,000

---

1985

1,044,000

532,288

---

1990

1,254,506

642,814

---

1995

1,626,689

875,231

---

2000

2,020,298

1,132,063

---

2005

2,385,615

1,376,289

---

So what do we see here? The result of 61 years of Zionist genocide against the Palestinian people. That’s right. After 61 years of relentless war crimes, the victim population in the West Bank and Gaza has seen its numbers explode from 544,600 people in 1948 to 3,761,904 in 2005. I know. You’re thinking “What is he going on about?” Well, clearly the Zionist usurpers totally SUCK at Genocide! We didn’t lerarn anything from the Nazis! They killed 6 million Jews in like, less than 5 years. While being at war with the allies! And also while killing all sorts of other people. Now that’s a Genocide you can bank on, whereas our Genocide causes populations to explode! Do you see where I’m getting here?

Every summer, right in the hot, soft belly of July/August, I’m hit with it in the head, like the skillet of an angry housewife: the urge to play Alan Jackson loud with the windows of my minivan rolled down (ain’t got no truck, just my luck), hang back on my porch at sundown, and go out drinking with the girls. You guessed that right, son – Redneck Fever.

I’m guessing I can’t be the only (sub)urban sophisticate, the lone overly-serious Jewish girl with an occasional thing for white trashiness. Growing up in Baltimore / Silver Spring in the 80’s, I was buffered by a strong, warm, and nosy Orthodox community, but just beyond the breach in the bubble stretched vast redneck territory, and boy: the country radio was sweet, and so was the drive out to the pool where I guarded up in Reisterstown, and the trip out to Spa Lady in Timonium. And going Down-the-Ocean, or to school down in Montgomery County via US route 29 from B-more, you best believe we crossed paths with plenty of Earls and Randy’s.

I’ll tell you what: The thing I miss most about America, truth be told, is not the jumbo sized Mountain Dew or even Bed, Bath and Beyond. It’s the people. The space they give you, the space in them. Things are simple, basic, and on an as-need basis. Ain’t no right or wrong way to breathe, hon.

 Take the relaxed way the locals speak, south of the Mason-Dixon, the reassuring gait out back to the truck to get another part, the walk of a man who isn’t quite sure (and doesn’t quite care) what the final result was of the Civil War. (Yes, I am aware – this has its downsides…) He’s got time, and he keeps his thoughts to himself. They are probably straightforward thoughts and not historically complicated, mired in guilt, or otherwise needing of footnotes and subscripts and ardent, multi-nuanced opinions.

And I’m betting on no Bluetooth sticking to his ear.

Where’s the Israeli ability to sit quietly with one’s thoughts? Or to separate sin from guilt, wrong from outright lost? We could use some self-forgiveness around here, some private 12oz. absolution. Calm contrition. Contemplative work. “Hell, was I wrong, but tomorrow is for fixin’. Now back to what needs doin’.” Can you hear that coming from a Levantine mouth?

 And excuse the non-sequitur, but what about baseball? Remember night games in August rained out in the 5th, beer and nachos floating down the aisles, sunburned women in yellow ponchos running to the car and thinking they’d be protecting their hair with the drenched paper program they were holding up over their heads? Shoot, ain’t nostalgia a bitch.

And if you still had any doubt that Rednecks rock, I have just two more words: True Blood.  This show had me at Howdy because it involves my two very favorite things of the moment: Rednecks and Vampires. I’ll be a network exec’s uncle if I know what they have in common (predators???) but DAMN.

Throw in Brad Pitt’s debut in Thelma and Louise and know this: 10 months a year I LOVE that my argumentative, close-talking, fast-walking, dark, intense, complex, spiritual and spiritual-phobic, text-obsessed, content-driven, sarcastic and bombastic, cell-phone shouting, hi-tech worshipping, God-ambivalent family of Jews is who I live among, but LORD – if I don’t wish every summer for a wide open I-64 and a beat- up old Ford, some Virginia dreamin’, and a bottle of Mountain Dew so big I can hear my kidneys screamin’.

 Amen.

Today will be a black day in the history of Israel. Let’s hope people can get past petty differences and that we’ll be able to unite as a nation and as a people and unequivocally condemn this insane, cowardly and heinous attack. I’m nauseous and my sympathies go out to the victims, their families, friends and loved ones.

Way!

The FBI Investigation into AIPAC that resulted in dropped charges against two AIPAC staffers accused of passing classified information to Israel may have been motivated by anti-Semitism according to Larry Franklin, who supplied the staffers with classified information as part of the FBI sting.

Franklin, a former Pentagon analyst who pleaded guilty in 2005 to revealing classified information to AIPAC, said in that interview that he became disturbed by several apparently anti-Semitic remarks by his FBI handlers:

“One agent said to me, ‘How can an Irish Catholic from the Bronx get mixed up with all these …,’ and I finished the sentence for him: ‘Jews?’ And I proceeded to tell him that Christ and all the Apostles and even his mom were Jewish,” Franklin said in the interview… “So it was that sort of thing. And just sarcastic turns of the phrase from time to time. You know, I felt dirty sometimes,” he said… “But that [anti-Semitism] dimension was part of this investigation and may have been an initial incitement of this investigation.”

Steve Rosen, one of the former AIPAC staffers once accused of illegally sharing classified information with Israeli officials responded to Franklin’s statements in an interview with the Jerusalem Post, stating:

“Within the counter-intelligence bureaucracy of the United States government, there is a virulent ideology about Israel and Jews … What these guys believe is that there’s a Jewish cabal, a Jewish conspiracy.”

Oh jeez. The FBI had no official response to either Franklin or Rosen’s allegations of anti-Semitism. FBI Assistant Director John Miller simply told the Washington Times:

“We have no way to respond to thirdhand characterizations of partial statements allegedly made by unnamed FBI employees several years ago,” Mr. Miller said. “If Mr. Franklin would like to make a formal complaint about the conduct of any FBI employee, there is a process to do.”

Hat tip to uh… white power Web site Stormfront via twitter. Now there’s a shocker…

Us? Criminals?

Of course it figures that any time a story on Israeli organized crime comes up, my family name (Abutbul in Hebrew) figures in there somewhere. OK, so the Netanya branch of our extremely distant family is a bit of an embarrassment, but the good news is that no one at the shuk fucks with me – and that’s even though Asi Abutbul was sentenced this month to 13 years in prison, convicted of activities related to his status as the ringleader of a criminal organization. Asi was the first prominent mobster convicted by an Israeli court under the Organized Crime Law.

In any case, fellow Canuck Douglas Century, wrote a five part series on the state of organized crime in Israel for Tablet Magazine:

As the economic opportunities contract—this year, according to Israel’s Central Bank, marked the country’s worst recession in its 61-year history—and as more and more of the market in this formerly socialist country is privatized, Israel’s underworld, once a dangerous if quaint West Side Story-like demimonde governed by its own code of honor, has rapidly morphed into a hellish landscape, similar to the blood-soaked world of the Camorra and Sicilian Mafia as rendered in the book Excellent Cadavers and the film Gomorra.

You can read part I here, part II here, part III here, part IV here and part V when it gets published later today or tomorrow. And don’t miss the photo essay where Century and photographer Antonin Kratochvil show you photos of the Tel Aviv underworld you’ll never, ever see in Time Out: Tel Aviv!

I enjoyed the essays, but as an insider I know Century missed out on mentioning the Arab mob families active in Israel. This would have been great because it is one of the few examples of Jews and Muslims cooperating in lucrative and money making enterprises. That would have added a great heart warming “Kumbaya” element to the story.

Maybe it’s just the fact that Tisha B’Av is winding down for me and I’m writing this in a spate of hunger/anger that rivals the Hulk’s.  But you know what I think is even more ridiculous than the fact that I’ve been craving Frappuccino/pizza/pretzels all day?  The fact that Jews can’t get married in Israel. Specifically, Russian Jews.  That made aliyah and served in the IDF and now can’t marry because the Rabbinate doesn’t recognize that they are Jewish.  And so they have to fly out of the country, and their huppah in Israel won’t count for anything.

The Orthodox rabbinate forbids a legal wedding to Olga and Nico. On Israel’s Valentine’s Day, Tu B’Av, August 4 at 7:00 PM Israel time, Nico Tarosyan will marry Olga Samosvatov. The festive public ceremony in Tel Aviv’s Dizengoff Square will promote awareness of the human cost of the Orthodox monopoly on Jewish marriage in Israel.

If you want to throw them some cash to get to Prague, where they will actually marry, or so Olga can  buy a hideous Israeli wedding dress that matches the completely hideous situation she had to go through just because she can’t get married legally in Israel,  donate some money to their flight to Prague. I, for one, am giving them $19.  Why $19?  $18 for chai. And $1 so I can pay to punch the people who make these decisions in the face.  Molodtsi, rebyata (kol hakavod) for furthering the cause.

A Jewish man and an African-American woman are both imprisoned, thousands of miles apart, under very disparate conditions. On this national day of mourning, Tisha B’Av, both deserve our attention.

Noam Shalit, the father of an Israeli soldier held by Hamas for more than 1,131 days, is asking that the U.S.’ scheduled aid package of $300 million to Gaza be delivered only after the release of his son. Gilad Shalit was abducted by Hamas in June, 2006. Noam Shalit recently testified before the Goldstone Committee, which is investigating illegal conduct by combatants during Operation Cast Lead on behalf of the United Nations, that Gilad’s abduction was a war crime according to the definitions of the Geneva Convention. The Israeli newspaper Ha’aretz reported that the elder Shalit also testified the abduction of his son preceded all the other events in the Gaza Strip: “the IDF siege on the territory, the launching of rockets by Palestinian groups, and finally the Israeli offensive – and argued that that action had resulted in the subsequent actions.”

For the more than three years Gilad has been held in captivity, he has not been visited by the Red Cross. No one even knows what has happened to him. And at no point has Hamas been required to release this information as a condition of foreign aid.

Please take a moment to sign this petition, which urges the U.S. to make its upcoming $300 million gift to Gaza dependent upon the release of Gilad Shalit. This petition will be delivered to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Please also share this message with your representatives in Congress. Just cut and paste this note into an email. The entire process takes only a minute or two. (more)

Today I got proof that I’m really a good Jewish boy. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as shrimp couscous before I read Lisa Goldman’s brilliant article in the Forward, in which she tells us the story behind the policy of Israel’s Foreign Ministry not to reimburse staffers for non-kosher business meals.

Surely, the policy was a case of religious coercion, said one lawyer friend. I wondered if Ali Yahya, an Israeli Arab who had served as ambassador to Helsinki and Athens, had been required to take his non-Jewish colleagues to kosher restaurants.

Finding myself at the foreign ministry on an unrelated matter, I stopped by the press department for a chat with the spokesman, Yigal Palmor, to ask what he thought of this kosher dining policy.

“It’s a totally irrational policy that creates an impossible situation,” Palmor said, without missing a beat. “There’s not a single decent kosher restaurant in the entire Galilee region – only kebab and hummus joints. Same goes for the Negev. So I’m supposed to take a delegation of Swedish diplomats on a tour of the north and stop for lunch at a hummus joint? It’s undignified and it creates a bad impression. And it’s hypocritical. Why would a secular Jew take a non-Jew to a kosher restaurant?”

Goldman also interviewed the guy responsible for the policy, who admits he himself doesn’t care much about kashrut.

Yitzhak Eldan, the chef de protocol, decided upon the ministry’s kosher-only policy several years ago. “Some people resisted it,” he said. “They made their opposition clear. But I never doubted this was the way a Jew should behave… I am not religious, but I believe that the policy of the ministry must reflect the sensitivities of all the people in the state of Israel, including the religious minority.”

Or maybe it just showed what an uncultured brute I am.

Today’s NYTimes carries an Op-Ed from Haaretz Editor Aluf Benn, “Why Won’t Obama Talk to Israel?” His article is clear and concise and asks who is the fool behind the Obama administration policy on the middle-east why has Obama pursued a policy of distancing Israel and Israelis?

He points to three places where Obama got it wrong with Israel and that his policies are counterproductive at best, and downright dangerous at worst:
1-Israelis became spoiled by unfettered presidential attention.
2-Mr. Obama’s quest for diplomacy has appeared to Israelis as dangerous American naïveté.
3-Mr. Obama seems to have confused American Jews with Israelis.

Benn points to recent Jerusalem Post poll of Israelis which indicated that only 6 percent of those surveyed considered the Obama administration to be pro-Israel. In other words, the stats show that Israelis read our Presidents name as barack HUSSEIN obama. Pro-Arab, Pro-Palestinian, luke warm on Israel, and empowering Iran.

Benn’s Op-Ed, from a leading left-wing Israel newspaper, reveals that J Street has taken Obama down the Wrong Street. Obama, Rahm and Axelrod have failed to create a viable policy for the Middle East, and Hilary over in State is kept on a short leash in the dog house.

There is a great positive part of all of this.

Obama has gotten 94% of Israelis to agree on something.

Even with American Jews split on Obama’s direction, it is better for the survival of the Jewish people that Israelis are unified, than American Jews.

Seriously. Spare me the self important Social Networking Experts. Or yet another full of himself tech guru. Ben Cabelli, man. He is the shit. I can’t even tell you what he does. I guess if you’re anal and have to define everything, you could say Industrial designer. Or Interior Decorator. Or Artist. Or Auto Mechanic. Anyhow, enjoy the video below, shot in the Florentin district of Tel Aviv where people still actually work with their hands and build things you can actually hold. Ben was interviewed by our friend, muse and ROI Alum Talya Lev and the video is a Jewlicious/LeadelNet co-production.

Golly. What a pleasure it is to work with professionals. Please by all means make it a point to visit LeadelNet for an eclectic collection of videos and commentary. Follow their harried intern on twitter. Whatever, just check them out! And stay tuned for more videos from LeadelNet and other co-productions.

If the embedded video doesn’t work, just go see the vid here.

As you may be aware, living in Israel can have serious consequences.  That’s because the State of Israel commits horrible crimes against humanity every day. These manifest themselves in the form of hideous Israeli wedding dresses.  Since we are knee-deep in wedding season, I thought I’d take a moment to remind you that tomorrow is Hideous Israeli Wedding Dress Awareness Day (HIWDAD), a day that was made up by me just about fifteen minutes ago as I was going through Facebook pictures of Israeli weddings.   To be fair, Benji Lovitt has been valiantly fighting this troubling trend for years.

If you are familiar with Israeli weddings, you know this dress has been popular for the past five years or so.  You know, the one with the barely-there middle that seems the be reenacting the parting of the Sea that exists between the bride’s upper chestal region and her navel.  (yes, chestal.)