}

Brave New Blog, Nice Jewish Girl

You know the line. It’s been the start of countless conversations. “Men and women can’t be friends, because the sex thing always gets in the way.”

Lately, I’ve been wondering if that’s also the case in the shomer negiah world, if powerful attraction between a man and a woman means the same sort of inner turmoil, self-doubt and bubbling cauldron of hormones and swirling emotions that it means for those who are not shomer negiah. Now, we’ve got an inside source. And the preliminary answer seems to still be yes: even when there’s no sex to be had, the “sex thing” always gets in the way.

With various tips of the hat to Bloghead, Ren Reb and others, I can tell you that Nice Jewish Girl is definitely worth checking out. She’s been posting for about two months, and is candidly–and beautifully–documenting her struggle to reconcile her sexuality, her faith and her commitment to being shomer negiah in a world that doesn’t always respect or encourage sexual abstinence.

You see, once someone has gone through so much time being S.N., then anything I might do with a man I was dating becomes much, much more important. The first man I kiss, for me it will be like what having sex for the first time is for some other women. For me it will be very significant. I’m not going to waste that on someone I’ve only met a few times.

Sometimes it is not about sex I fantasize about but rather about affection, and I fantasize about holding a man’s hand when I am walking around outside. I will go places for Shabbos and secretly envision a man who loves me sitting next to me at the Shabbos table. I just want him to be there.

You go, Nice Jewish Girl. You may feel conflicted, but you’re a stronger woman than most. And therefore, by the power only recently vested in me, I hereby proclaim you “Jewlicious.”

Esther Kustanowitz

For more posts by Esther, see EstherK.com, MyUrbanKvetch.com and JDatersAnonymous.com.

119 Comments

  1. T_M

    3/28/2005 at 4:58 pm

  2. laya

    3/28/2005 at 5:08 pm

  3. Esther

    3/28/2005 at 5:14 pm

  4. T_M

    3/28/2005 at 5:25 pm

  5. laya

    3/28/2005 at 5:36 pm

  6. Esther

    3/28/2005 at 5:41 pm

  7. T_M

    3/28/2005 at 5:48 pm

  8. T_M

    3/28/2005 at 5:55 pm

  9. Dina

    3/28/2005 at 6:02 pm

  10. laya

    3/28/2005 at 6:14 pm

  11. T_M

    3/28/2005 at 6:21 pm

  12. Dina

    3/28/2005 at 6:40 pm

  13. Dina

    3/28/2005 at 6:43 pm

  14. Dina

    3/28/2005 at 6:51 pm

  15. ck

    3/28/2005 at 7:44 pm

  16. Dina

    3/28/2005 at 8:01 pm

  17. Michael

    3/28/2005 at 8:15 pm

  18. Dave

    3/28/2005 at 10:18 pm

  19. Esther

    3/28/2005 at 11:18 pm

  20. shtreimel

    3/29/2005 at 1:13 am

  21. T_M

    3/29/2005 at 1:31 am

  22. Grace

    3/29/2005 at 1:35 am

  23. shtreimel

    3/29/2005 at 3:53 am

  24. harry

    3/29/2005 at 5:21 am

  25. josh

    3/29/2005 at 7:03 am

  26. Esther

    3/29/2005 at 10:42 am

  27. ck

    3/29/2005 at 10:47 am

  28. Esther

    3/29/2005 at 11:14 am

  29. T_M

    3/29/2005 at 12:39 pm

  30. Michael

    3/29/2005 at 1:15 pm

  31. Esther

    3/29/2005 at 1:50 pm

  32. T_M

    3/29/2005 at 3:34 pm

  33. kate

    3/29/2005 at 4:35 pm

  34. josh

    3/30/2005 at 3:25 am

  35. T_M

    3/30/2005 at 4:00 am

  36. b,h,&E.

    3/30/2005 at 11:20 am

  37. T_M

    3/30/2005 at 1:46 pm

  38. laya

    3/30/2005 at 2:01 pm

  39. T_M

    3/30/2005 at 2:10 pm

  40. Grandmuffti

    3/30/2005 at 2:25 pm

  41. b,h,&E.

    3/30/2005 at 7:36 pm

  42. T_M

    3/30/2005 at 8:52 pm

  43. ck

    3/30/2005 at 9:24 pm

  44. Dave

    3/30/2005 at 10:29 pm

  45. T_M

    3/30/2005 at 10:57 pm

  46. T_M

    3/30/2005 at 11:07 pm

  47. T_M

    3/30/2005 at 11:12 pm

  48. Dave

    3/30/2005 at 11:12 pm

  49. ck

    3/31/2005 at 12:33 am

  50. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 12:38 am

  51. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 12:59 am

  52. ck

    3/31/2005 at 1:03 am

  53. shtreimel

    3/31/2005 at 1:17 am

  54. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 1:19 am

  55. shtreimel

    3/31/2005 at 1:21 am

  56. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 1:28 am

  57. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 2:02 am

  58. shtreimel

    3/31/2005 at 2:16 am

  59. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 2:31 am

  60. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 3:24 am

  61. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 3:29 am

  62. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 4:02 am

  63. Grandmuffti

    3/31/2005 at 4:06 am

  64. ck

    3/31/2005 at 4:32 am

  65. ck

    3/31/2005 at 4:54 am

  66. kate

    3/31/2005 at 5:14 am

  67. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 5:15 am

  68. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 5:30 am

  69. kate

    3/31/2005 at 5:45 am

  70. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 5:48 am

  71. kate

    3/31/2005 at 5:52 am

  72. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 6:01 am

  73. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 6:04 am

  74. Esther

    3/31/2005 at 8:41 am

  75. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 8:54 am

  76. ck

    3/31/2005 at 9:36 am

  77. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 10:46 am

  78. Grandmuffti

    3/31/2005 at 11:42 am

  79. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 11:58 am

  80. Kolodny

    3/31/2005 at 12:14 pm

  81. Dave

    3/31/2005 at 12:21 pm

  82. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 12:24 pm

  83. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 12:27 pm

  84. ck

    3/31/2005 at 12:27 pm

  85. Grandmuffti

    3/31/2005 at 2:48 pm

  86. T_M

    3/31/2005 at 2:52 pm

  87. b,h,&E.

    3/31/2005 at 3:59 pm

  88. Laya

    3/31/2005 at 4:09 pm

  89. b,h,&E.

    4/1/2005 at 5:08 am

  90. Esther

    4/1/2005 at 9:54 am

  91. ck

    4/1/2005 at 9:58 am

  92. Dave

    4/1/2005 at 4:28 pm

  93. b,h,&E.

    4/1/2005 at 5:20 pm

  94. Dave

    4/6/2005 at 11:50 am

  95. b,h,&E

    4/6/2005 at 5:35 pm

  96. T_M

    4/6/2005 at 5:53 pm

  97. b,h,&E

    4/6/2005 at 7:56 pm

  98. T_M

    4/6/2005 at 8:59 pm

  99. b,h,&E

    4/7/2005 at 3:13 am

  100. Safiyyah

    4/7/2005 at 4:00 am

  101. b,h,&E

    4/7/2005 at 5:03 am

  102. Aish Freak

    4/7/2005 at 8:54 am

  103. Esther

    4/12/2005 at 10:30 pm

  104. boteach

    4/12/2005 at 10:43 pm

  105. TM

    4/12/2005 at 11:20 pm

  106. mike kaufmann

    5/15/2005 at 1:51 pm

  107. Soferet

    5/23/2005 at 3:07 am

  108. esther

    5/23/2005 at 9:13 am

  109. Pingback: Jewlicious » Nice Jewish Girl Redux

  110. Simcha Hoyzen

    6/8/2005 at 3:44 pm

  111. themiddle

    6/8/2005 at 5:32 pm

  112. emily as-sifr

    6/9/2005 at 3:57 pm

  113. Wildthing

    6/10/2005 at 12:49 am

  114. JennyfromBerlin

    6/14/2005 at 9:07 pm

  115. Peter Yoon

    5/2/2006 at 2:07 pm

  116. Pingback: Jewlicious » Reason #34: “YOU CAN NEVER NEVER NEVER TRUST A BOY”

  117. david lars louis shalom

    7/26/2008 at 1:04 pm

  118. Jewish Girls

    8/16/2009 at 7:01 pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *