Well sort of…

The new Beit Jewlicious was recently most stylishly and joyously inaugurated. Thanks to a lovely gift of a gorgeous Mezuzah by Genya, yours truly, along with Talya and Leia, added the last remaining piece to the new digs. Genya is now back in Chicago, reunited with her colleagues at the Chicago Hillel as well as with her fiance Slava, but before she left, we lit the Chanukiah and mounted the Mezuzah – always a joyous occasion! Check it out:

Now don’t get too excited. Beit Jewlicious isn’t some new project funded by a broad coalition of Jewish philanthropies! It is however the Israel base of all things Jewlicious. Scores of Jewy Web sites have already been launched from here, loads of advice has already been dispensed to numerous Jewish start ups and many hours have been spent planning and discussing the Jewlicious Festival. Beit Jewlicious contains two loft bedrooms and lots of room so while it’s not a hotel per se, lots of different people have already stayed here over shabbat or for slightly longer stays. Need a place to crash in Jerusalem? Well I guess you can call me up, but if there’s no room or you are looking for something a tad more luxurious, then I suppose you can just look for Hotel rooms in Israel. But will there be the same unbridled joy? The boundless love? The goofy characters? The proximity to the shuk? I don’t know. Find out and tell me!

What we don’t have anymore is morning shuk noise, smelly cats, bizarre odors and shady characters lurking in the stairwell. So if you ever find yourself in Jerusalem by the shuk, look me up. And don’t forget to kiss the Mezuzah!

Watch this video:

This was taken this past Friday in Sheikh Jarrah. Every Friday, protesters have been gathering there lately to protest the expulsion last August of two families from their apartments after the Israel Supreme Court ruled that the land upon which their homes were built belonged to the Sephardi Jewish community. The evacuated houses were built in the 1950s by the UNWRA in order to house Arab refugees who had fled from West Jerusalem during the 1948 war. In 1967, when Israel captured east Jerusalem from Jordan and reunited the city, the Palestinian families were permitted to stay on as tenants. Disputing the validity of the ownership of the land, they stopped paying rent. This led to the events that preceded the protests. As you can see, the bulk of the protesters are Jewish and Israeli. What really stood out though was at around 3:19 of the video. One of the middle aged Palestinian women started chanting what sounds like the following: “Falasteene Bladna, al-Yahud klabna” – that would translate into “Palestine is our country! The Jews are our dogs!” – which is kind of odd – I mean the people walking by her in handcuffs were the aforementioned “Jew Dogs” who had been arrested whilst protesting in favor of the Palestinians. Maybe that’s why she was shushed? I mean am I hearing this right?

Sheikh Jarrah is located on the road to Mount Scopus. In 1948, during the War of Independence, local Arabs butchered like dogs 78 doctors, nurses and others who were riding in a convoy on that road on their way to Hadassah hospital. Maybe old habits die hard? I don’t know! If someone has a better explanation for that woman’s chant, please let me know.

As for the protesters, 27 were arrested on Friday and as far as I know, they were all released late Saturday night.

Hat tip to Joseph Dana who linked to the video from his facebook wall.

Rain IS a Blessing

Typical day: woke up around 7am when the sun finally warmed my room, thanked Hashem in that split second between being fully awake and still floating softly in my world of dreams, put my toes into yummy slippers, headed to the bathroom, wandered groggily into the kitchen, made delicious turkish coffee from the arab shuk.. then sat, surrounded by books and mountains, just breathing and reflecting. The day always hits once the coffee is mostly gone..

I made my way to Jerusalem sometime in the afternoon, driving along winding roads that were empty.. Clouds had gathered, turning the sky to a heavy grey. There is something about clouds in the desert.. something about the sky feeling so much closer and present. Tangible.. By the time I had entered Jerusalem, the clouds had simply melded together above darkened buildings and trees that looked helpless in the wind. I kept looking at people’s faces as i drove by.. No one was smiling. I thought to myself, why is it so hard for them to remember that rain is a blessing? Where was the joy?

Time passed and by chance, my appointment was canceled. I sat in my car slightly annoyed and wondered where to go.. feeling somehow part of the storm and yet oddly detached. I felt safe from my life, from the world, enclosed in my little bubble of metal, leather and padding.. listening to Dezarie while blasting heat in my face. Deeply wishing I had something to do.

As I stared listlessly out of the car window lacking all motivation, my eye caught site of an old woman making her way slowly up the street. She was using a walker, stumbling along as if she were fighting the wind and her own body at the same time.. My heart froze. I didn’t know what to do, so I decided to watch and wait. She leaned heavily against the parked cars as she tried walking up the hill. Her eyes were covered by dark sunglasses that hid her face, and again I hesitated, simply not knowing how to act.
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Awesome adventures!

Well today was an interesting day! I have these dear friends, two sisters called Sarah and Leia, whose uncle aunt and cousin came to visit from Fresno. I had Shabbat meals with all of them and they were so cute that I decided to spend Sunday with them walking through the old city. Because it was the Feast of Eid Al Adha, the temple Mount was closed so I got the Fresno boys to don teffilin at the Kotel instead. We went to the roof of the Austrian Hospice to snap some scenic pics and then we walked by the Muslim Quarter where a young burqa wearing woman practically passed out in my arms. We put her on a chair and got her some water – must have been all the excitement. I was glad she was going to be ok and that no one stabbed me for laying my hands on a Muslim maiden. Afterward we headed off to the Jewish Quarter again for lunch and the stunning view from the Quarter Café. There we met Mark and his family from Los Angeles. Mark runs a consultancy and his assistant Weronicka is a dear friend. Mark was there with his wife, 8-year old daughter and his Mother in Law Nadine.

Nadine, an Upper East Side New Yorker, had fought with the Hagana in 1948 and hadn’t been back to Israel since 1949. She was a bit stunned at how much the country had changed, noting “I cannot believe this was the country I fought in.” She regaled us with her war stories as we pitied Mark – Imagine having a mother in law capable of assembling, disassembling and firing a Sten gun? We introduced her to Kevin, Sara and Leia’s cousin, who recently made Aliyah and was set to be drafted into the IDF in late December. Kevin is always a hoot and Nadine was a doll and lunch ended up being great fun – see them smiling in the photo above? Granted it was a very touristy day – but walla! This is why we live here. Nice people, great stories, beautiful views. Y’all come back here more often please!

Why did Nefesh B’Nefesh, an organization dedicated to bringing Jews to Israel on Aliyah and organizing bloggers conferences, organize a Flash Mob in downtown (as it were) Jerusalem last Friday? Was it in celebration of Hanukah? Must be because the mob danced to frequent Jewlicious Festival participant Smooth E’s Hanukkah Hey Ya. Others noted that perhaps Nefesh B’Nefesh was in fact making a political statement what with the mixed egalitarian dancing and all. Whatever. It was fun. Get over yourselves.

Charred coins my ass

While digging wantonly under Al Aqsa Mosque, Islam’s 3rd holiest religious site, the Zionists usurpers conveniently claim to have discovered a trove of approximately 70 allegedly Jewish coins dating from the time of the 2nd Temple – you know, the one that never really even existed?

NPR reports:

About 70 coins were found in an excavation at the foot of a key Jerusalem holy site. They give a rare glimpse into the period of the Jewish revolt that eventually led to the destruction of the Second Jewish Temple in A.D. 70, said Hava Katz, curator of the exhibition… The Jews rebelled against the Roman Empire and took over Jerusalem in A.D. 66. After laying siege to Jerusalem, the Romans breached the city walls and wiped out the rebellion, demolishing the Jewish Temple, the holiest site in Judaism… The coins sit inside a glass case, some melted down to unrecognizable chunks of pockmarked and carbonized bronze from the flames that destroyed the Temple.

Hava Katz is SUCH a liar! So she scorched up a bunch of coins. So what? Everyone knows that there was no temple in Jerusalem 2000 years ago because all the Jews where in Khazaria. And they weren’t even Jews yet. This is just another provocation by the Zionist Apartheid regime meant to justify their destructive digging under Haram Al Sharif which threatens the foundations of the mosques, and justifies the further dispossession of eternal Palestinian rights extant from time immemorial. Should you find yourself in the Zionist entity, and wish to witness this hoax for yourself, you may do so at the Davidson Center, adjacent to the entrance to the so called “Wailing Wall.” I’ll show you a wailing wall you rotten Zionists.

Nope. This isn’t about a free Birthright Israel trip (although registration for winter begins Sept. 8th and you can go with us – more info here), or any kind of flashy contest with cool prizes. The Ticket to Jerusalem Project is a simple concept, really. All you have to do is create any kind of artwork called “Ticket To Jerusalem”. Do it on a thick horizontal piece of paper, 8×3″ (20×8 cm), the size of conventional airplane ticket or boarding pass. Attach a stamp, add a return address and mail it WITHOUT an envelope to: Radik Shvarts, PO Box 245614, Brooklyn, NY, 11224, USA. The project deadline is January 1st, 2010 and all entries will posted online. Most of them will also be exhibited internationally and featured in a book titled “Ticket To Jerusalem” that will be published in 2010. Every person, whose artwork is featured in the book will get a free copy.

That’s it! So far the site features a pretty eclectic collection of 41 pieces of ticket art and, and… I don’t know what to say. It’s kind of sweet because there seems to be no underlying political message. No one’s trying to sell you anything, it’s just this very whimsical thing that is a pure celebration of creativity. OK so it is sponsored by the UJA Federation of New York, and COJECO (a central coordinating body in the Russian Jewish community of NY that works towards successul integration of Russian Jews into American Jewish life) but so what? Good on them for being involved in something that’s this much… fun!

So here’s the deal – If you’re in Israel this summer, pony up a mere 450 shekels (400 if you’re part of a non-profit) and you can enjoy a series of lectures focusing on entrepreneurial innovation and creativity by a pretty impressive line-up of speakers, culminating in a invite-only pitch night put on by the latest crop of PresenTense Fellows. In addition, you’ll also have full access to the PresenTense Hub from June 15-July 30 and half price access during the month of August. The Hub offers free Internet access, an otherwise comfy environment and the opportunity to network with a revolving cast of interesting people who make use of the facilities. Some of the speakers who will be imparting nuggets of wisdom include Michael Eisenberg, a partner in VC Firm Benchmark Capital’s Israel branch, our good friend Dan Brown from eJewish Philanthropy, Roi Carthy from the TechCruch blog, Sandy Cardin, President of the Schusterman Foundation noted commentator Yossi Klein-Halevi, Alisa Katz, Associate Producer of the film Defiance and more. You can get the whole schedule and registration at the PresenTense Web site. All that and regular access to Institute founders Ariel Beery and Aharon Horwitz?? Come on, who can say no!

It started innocently enough as we gathered to light the Menorah for the third day of Chanukah. Danielle Sheldon did the brachot inspiring us to goodness with her angelic voice. But then that saucy wench Talya Lev started in with her beat boxing, which inspired Rinat Guttman to bump up the tension a couple of notches with some freestyle hip hop. Sarah Weil, Iftachi the cat and Gal Feldman followed suit with back up dancing. If that was it, it’d be ok but then after the candles were lit, the Arak and the doughnuts came out and we all got really crazy – hopped up on sugar and carbs, things were crazy dude! Never a dull moment at Beit Jewlicious in Jerusalem. Check out the video which tonight is dedicated to Sasha Perry who went back to America after candle lighting – on her way to the Hazon Food Conference in California. Come back to us soon Sasha! We’ll see you soon at the Jewlicious Festival!

Join the Tachlis 2 Point Oh! and Jewlicious as we follow the results of the US Presidential Elections at the offices of Presentense at 64 Emek Refaim Street in Jerusalem. This will be a great Networking opportunity and we will be using a full suite of Web 2.0 tools as we broadcast the impressions of assembled Jerusalemites. Also on tap will be a fine selection of drinks and food, featuring Arack and Borekas from Machane Yehudah. Mabe I’ll even prepare some techina and pitas.

The event will take place on Tuesday, November 4, 2008 at 10:30pm and will go until… well, till no one’s left I suppose. Feel free to RSVP via our facebook event page. The event is free although given how scary this election is likely to be, you are strongly encouraged to bring more booze. Here’s a Google map of where it’ll take place and if you have any questions or if you’re a blogger who wants to participate, feel free to contact me. I can be reached at 054 673 5873 or from the US at 917 338 7570.

View Larger Map

Click on larger Map to see a street map with names in English

For the record, the only reason I used “Barack” in the title is because it rhymes with “Arack.” As a Canadian/Israeli, I don’t particularly endorse either candidate. Also you can read about this and other election related events happening in Israel in Haaretz!

Fun with Photoshop. Why? Because I can.
OK, ok so Obama was pretty honest about his past Marijuana use. In an interview he stated outright about his Marijuana use that “I inhaled frequently … That was the point.” But like the status of Jerusalem, Decriminalization of Marijuana is another thing he flip flopped on – stating that he was in favor of decriminalization one day and then changing his mind the next.

This pattern might be attributable to short term memory loss. I’d recommend inhaling less frequently.

So Matisyahu’s in Jerusalem for the holidays. Saw him at a show two nights ago – Samuel Nelson’s new band Semantra was performing at Canaan on Shamai street (they were pretty good!) – all the usual Nachlaot suspects were in attendance. So Matisyahu ambles over and tells me about a show he put together at the last minute – just him, his guitarist who was in town and a couple of locals. The show was in a small retrofitted Cafe near the shuk – it barely fit 50 people and there was a huge overflow crowd outside – folks who didn’t heed the warning that the show would sell out in like… a minute. Hippies… what do you expect? So yeah. Great show.

Sasha, who shot this vid, and I know Matisyahu well from his time hangin’ at the Jewlicious Festival. The locals were all “how you know Matis?” after they saw him talking to us. Sasha lied and said they used to date and I told them that I met him in Jail. Anyhow the Festival is coming up at the end of February. One of the things we want to do to promote it is to put together a compilation CD of some of the artists who have appeared at Jewlicious. That’s why this post has the schnorrer box. We’re still a little short of the $2500 we’ll need to produce 1000 CDs. Now’s your chance to help us out and get some phat toonzes. Donate $18 or more and get a free CD! Yay!

As you can see from the photos – I’m being quite literal. Today was the first day of Machane Yehuda’s annual Kaparot Market. Every year, Jerusalem’s central market hosts this temporary slaughterhouse where those that follow the Kaparot ritual can go and kill them some chickens.

The ritual, which is performed between the end of Rosh Hashana and the beginning of Yom Kippur, involves reading Psalms, then buying a chicken, waving it around your head three times while saying 3 times “This is my exchange, this is my substitute, this is my atonement. This rooster chicken will go to its death, while I will enter and proceed to a good long life and to peace.” It’s kind of a controversial ritual and Rabbis are divided regarding whether or not one should do it with Maimonides saying no and the Arizal (Isaac Luria) saying yes.

But me? A dedicated vegetarian? Why do I do it? Well, I don’t eat the chicken. I give it to charity. That alone justifies Kaparot. But more importantly, if these images make you squeamish, then good! For those of you meat eaters who think this is barbaric, think about that next time you chow down on a plate of wings. As a society we eat so much meat and never think about where it comes from, how it gets to our plates – that a living creature was bred and killed so that you could enjoy a yummy meal. We think even less about the environmental impact of our meat consumption.

But not me. I saw that chicken die. I was there, and while it was kind of gross, I appreciated its sacrifice and was thankful that it gave up its life so that I could do a mitzvah and help a poor family eat a meal.

Gmar Chatimah Tova!

PS: Be thankful I didn’t bring a video camera

You can Google Art Kutcher. But you won’t find much. Right now Art, an architect, should be about 70 years old, more or less. I’ve never met the guy, I have no idea what he looks like but whenever I walk down the street in Jerusalem, what I see, or don’t see, is directly related to projects this native of Sioux City, Iowa prevented from happening.

Kutcher was part of a group of architects and planners – most from English-speaking countries – hired by the municipality of Jerusalem in 1971. The Mayor of Jerusalem, Teddy Kolleck decided that the municipality was going to play a more direct role in its own city planning, rather than leaving it to the government. In his short tenure, all Kutcher designed was a parking lot on Mt. Zion. However he did execute a number of before and after sketches of proposed developments like a 21 story hotel just outside the Jaffa Gate, or eight apartment towers and two-500 room hotels in an open field (known as the Omariya plot now Liberty Bell Park) just five hundred yards West of the Old City Walls.

While these developments would have brought in certain economic benefits, they would have ruined the skyline of Jerusalem for decades to come. Kutcher was ordered not to make the sketches public but they always somehow managed to get into the hands of reporters and activists, often eliciting indignation, horror and audible gasps followed by protests and a public outcry. Through his efforts, Kutcher effectively single-handedly prevented the ruination of Jerusalem’s skyline. For all his efforts, Kutcher, who was a tireless worker but still difficult to deal with, was not rehired by Kolleck at the end of his temporary contract, but his work was done and Jerusalem was saved from short sighted government planners and greedy developers.

Since then, his legacy has been chipped away at. New developments are going up all the time and already the view of the Old City Walls from Agron street has been obliterated by the construction of the extremely cheesy Mamila Mall just outside Jaffa Gate. New towers and developments are going up all the time – geared towards well moneyed tourists and part time residents, these are causing rents and property values to increase, making life in the city less affordable for students, artists, young couples and old-time residents. The residents of the city, beaten down by one unresponsive Municipal administration after another have lost the will to protest, surmising correctly that the municipality is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Jerusalem’s property developers who don’t give a rat’s ass about the interests and concerns of the hoi polloi.

So Art… if you’re out there, how about popping back to Jerusalem for a bit. We need a shit disturber like you more than ever before. Alternatively, whoever sits in the Mayor’s office after the November 11 municipal elections ought to be mindful of the fact that it takes just one similarly motivated shit disturber armed with nothing more than some sketches and some vision to obliterate otherwise carefully crafted plans.

PS: Tonight at 7 pm at 23 Yehoshua Bin Nun, Jewlicious is co-sponsoring a Meet and Greet with Jerusalem Mayoral candidate Nir Barkat. For more details check out the facebook event page.

Photo credit: chrislilleheim

Source: Jerusalem on Earth by Abraham Rabinovich (1988) – Whose essay The Spoiler: Preserving Jerusalem on pages 195-203 inspired this post.

Maybe. We’ll see. But for those of you who are residents of Jerusalem, Jewlicious, along with Jerusalemite.net and Tachlis.org are bringing you the opportunity to have some intimate time with Nir Barkat – Jerusalem Mayoral candidate in the upcoming municipal elections (November 11th). The polls have Barkat ahead in a field that includes Rabbi Meir Porush (the dude that made little dancing girls wear burqas at the opening of Jerusalem’s new light rail bridge) and former Shas leader Aryeh Deri (who was told today by the Jerusalem District Court that he can’t run for Mayor because less than 7 years had passed since he was tried and convicted of accepting bribes, fraud and breach of faith and receiving something by deceit in aggravated circumstances). Yeah.

Anyhow, since we here at Jewlicious love Jerusalem so much, we want those of our readers who are Jerusalem residents to make as informed a decision as possible regarding the upcoming election. That’s why, along with our friends at Jerusalemite.net and Tachlis.org, we helped organize this event. Nir Barakat will give a brief speech, then answer questions and yes… light refreshments will be served.

So this Sunday, October 5th at 7 pm, come on down to Yehoshua Bin Nun 23 in the German colony. See what this Nir Barkat fellow is all about. I’ll bring Arak and raise a toast to the totally pathetic campaign run by my boys in Shas. Seriously. A convicted felon?? I would have made a better mayoral candidate.

Update: Rabbi Porush now has a semi-functioning Web site. It’s a one pager with a video and now his creepy cartoon character persona is waving! Sometimes I hate Flash…

… and I hate dancing children! —>

Terry, Terry Poison…

Don’t get me wrong. I like Paul McCartney. I know all the Beatles songs off by heart. But did I really want to spend an evening in the company of over fed Israeli Baby Boomers at a badly pronounced Beatles karaoke fest? The answer? No.

Instead of wallowing in the ancient history of rock and roll I decided to explore the future of it, and the future is Female Israeli Rockers. We’ve already featured Noa Margalit of The Carsitters, and you all know about Yael Naim. Last night, instead of joining the geriatric set in Tel Aviv (I had a free ticket by the way) I went to East Talpiot and saw Terry Poison perform. Here’s a badly shot video. Sorry. The song is 24 Hours and is an homage to Jack Bauer from “24″, who even from the perspective of folks from a country with loads of secret agent bad asses running around, is still quite the bad ass.

Terry Poison is:
Louise Kahn: Vocal, Guitar
Petite Meller: Vocal in French, Keyboard
Gili Saar: Back vocal, Bass and keyboard
Anna: guitar Bruno Grife: Production, Synth bass and guitar
Issar Tennebaum: Drums

They’ve been getting good press and attention since 2004 and they are adored in France. So… why aren’t we bringing these bands to the US? Do we really need another dry academic talking to us about Hasbarah and accomplishing nothing but preaching to the choir? What better and more effective Hasbarah is there to society at large than hot Israeli babes?? Seriously. If anyone from a Federation somewhere is reading this and wants to know about this and other bands from Israel that can have an impact not just with our elusive (and mega-bored) young Jews but with US music fans at large, let me know.

And no. If you hire them they will not start their set with fucking Havah Nagillah.

Uh… the banner above contains 2 beloved characters from the Shabot 6000, a goofy Rabbi and an irreverent robot. It also contains 2 characters from South Park – Mrs. Broflovski, Kyle’s Mom and the matriarch of South Park’s token Jew family, and Eric Cartman who is just so damned cool, even though he’s a Jew baiter. The fifth character in the middle is Meir Porush, who was selected by the United Torah Judaism party to run as Mayor of Jerusalem. So what is that? Why is he a cartoon character? Am I going to link to a funny viral video dealing with Jerusalem city politics? No. That’s the image Porush’s campaign has decided to plaster everywhere in Jerusalem in order to promote Porush’s candidacy.

And why not? He looks cute and warm and fuzzy. Not at all threatening! Porush who supported the decision to force prepubescent female dancers to wear what looked like burqas during their performance commemorating the opening of Jerusalem’s light rail bridge, is a good guy! For instance he’d like to reverse the trends that have seen 300,000 young Israelis abandon Jerusalem over the past 20 years for greener pastures elsewhere – better jobs, affordable rents etc. It’s not like they left Jerusalem because of the undue influence of guys that look exactly like him… and he has a Web site – http://www.porush.co.il – but don’t bother clicking on the link – with less than a month to go before the elections, the site is still under construction. It don’t matter none though. Haredim, who will form the bulk of those likely to vote for Porush, don’t usually have internet access. Well not at home anyway – but at night in Jerusalem, the Internet Cafes, especially those that offer private booths, are full of Haredim using the Internets. But I have a feeling they’re not exactly brushing up on municipal issues, if you know what I mean…

The elections will be held in November and we know Porush is running, as is city counselor and Internet entrepreneur Nir Barakat and maybe even Russian Billionaire, Angolan Diplomat, Israeli Philanthropist and subject of an INTERPOL arrest warrant Arkady Gaydamak. Lupiolanski, the current Haredi Mayor of Jerusalem may also throw his shtreimel in. Did I mention that the election is in less than a month???

Somehow cartoons seem oddly appropriate… I’m not voting for Porush because like… “Mayor Meir Porush” – how awkward is that??

I’m getting tired of writing these emails to my sister to send to my Mom. Three times in 3 months, twice with bulldozers and last night with a new Beemer, residents of East Jerusalem have tried to indiscriminately squash, crush or run over random residents of Jerusalem – in parts of town that I frequent. You can read about it here, here and here (where Ehud Barack calls for the demolition of the kid’s house). Was 19 year old Qassem Mughrabi a Hamas member? An angry teenager pissed at having his marriage proposal refused by his cousin? All of the above? I don’t know. All I know is that Qassem injured 13 people and seconds later he was shot by an off duty officer. Jerusalem residents are getting tired of this. I almots didn’t blog about it. But I just installed a video comment feature and want to use it to show my Mom that I am indeed in one piece.

Let’s hear it for continued bodily integrity! Yay!

10 fingers…