President Barak Obama, prior to being elected, stated, at the 2008 AIPAC Conference, “Jerusalem will remain the capitol of Israel, and it must remain undivided.” (Watch his full speech here. This statement occurs at 18:58). So, if Jerusalem is the undivided capitol of Israel, how is building in the eastern half of the city any different than building in the western half? Its all part of the same undivided capitol, is it not?. Yet, the Obama administration has been all in an uproar regarding Israel’s announcement of its approval of the building of 1,600 housing units in Ramat Shlomo, a neighborhood in east Jerusalem. Recent comments by the Obama administration have been called “especially troubling” by the ADL and “very worrying” by AIPAC. So what is it? Did Obama mean that Jerusalem is, and ought to be, the undivided capitol of Israel, or not? Or was he merely pandering for the “Jewish [and Zionist] vote?”

In that same speech (at 25:11), Obama, also, said, “I will do everything in my power to prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon – everything in my power to prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon. Everything.” Did he mean that, as well? Or does be plan on “flip-flopping” on that as well? Only time will tell. But, let us hope that, on this, the Obama administration does not intend to have a change of heart.

We all knew that Biden had a serious life-long case of foot-mouth disease. The man cannot help but make guffaws. But this trip to Israel was to be a make nice party, a chance for the US and Israel to rekindle their strong friendship and worry about BIG PROBLEMS like Iran.

Israel announced on the eve of his visit that it was halting the project that was causing so much fuss in East Jerusalem – Sheik Jarrah hood. (Remember that fake Purim video purporting to be Jews celebrating with songs in praise of Baruch Goldstein?)

UPDATE – Apparently the remarks were in response to 1600 homes in Ramat Shlomo, Wiki writes :Ramat Shlomo was founded in 1995. As of 2000, it had a population of 18,000, mostly Haredi Jews. Ramat Shlomo borders Ramot to the west, Har Hotzvim to the south, and Shuafat to the east.

Apparently, that is the “provocation” that was needed for Biden to dump a ton of rotten shwarma on Israel.

Leave it to Joe. This from the JTA:

Biden says Israeli housing starts ‘undermining’ trust

WASHINGTON (JTA) — Vice President Joe Biden denounced a decision to authorize new Jerusalem housing starts as “undermining the trust” that he needs to advance peace while in Israel.

“I condemn the decision by the government of Israel to advance planning for new housing units in East Jerusalem,” Biden said in a statement issued Tuesday, the second day of a visit that had been aimed at underscoring the closeness of the U.S.-Israel relationship. “The substance and timing of the announcement, particularly with the launching of proximity talks, is precisely the kind of step that undermines the trust we need right now and runs counter to the constructive discussions that I’ve had here in Israel.”

Photo by Beggs on Flickr

Shabbat Shalom!!

Last night, Salam Fayyad, Prime Minister of the Palestinian National Authority, spoke at the Herzliya Conference about the need for Palestinian statehood and the current situation with peace negotiations.

Fayyad stated that Oslo recognized Israel’s right to exist in peace and security. However, he argued that the problem with Oslo was that Israel did not recognize Palestine’s right to exist, and that Israel still doesn’t. Oslo “suggested” Palestinian statehood, but was not seen as a necessary outcome. In 2002, U.S. President Bush made Palestinian statehood a matter of international consensus. The “rough neighborhood” that is the Middle East, as Israeli Minister of Defense Ehud Barak put it, would become less rough if, according to Fayad, the “international consensus” became “facts on the ground.” He stated that a Palestinian state must be established based on “justice,” “peace,” “stability,” “fairness,” and “security.”
Here, Fayad seems to miss a major point. “Justice” does not necessarily mean “fairness.” That which is just may not be fair. Therefore, it would appear that Fayyad and his friends must determine whether they are looking for a “just” solution, or a “fair” solution.

Fayyad explained that, under the Road Map, Palestinians must increase their ability to govern, which includes a security force. Security, he explained, as of mid-2007, is important to Palestinians, as well. Israel, he said, must be willing to “unequivocally” accept a two-state solution. That, he explained, called for a settlement-freeze. Israel must, “stop military incursions into our [Palestinian] territory.” “Occupation,” he said, “is being brought back on its way to end.” Palestinians are “sensitive to Israeli security needs,” but “incursions must completely stop.” Today, he argued, the situation is “at an impasse,” and that “occupation” is at the heart of the impasse. Further, he stated, Palestinian police must have “security forces present in population centers outside of Area A.” This, he explained, would bring hope to the Palestinians.
Yet, while referring to the Road Map, drafted by the United States, he, also, stated that peace would only be achieved through the Arab Peace Initiative. Seems kind of contradictory, doesn’t it?

Fayyad, also, brought up the topic of Jerusalem. East Jerusalem, he argued, is Palestinian territory occupied in 1967. Fayyad loudly stated that it is, “historical fact that East Jerusalem is an integral part of Palestine occupied in 1967.” Palestinians are willing to have a state on “22% of historic Palestine,” which, he claimed, was “agreed to in 1988” by the PLO.

This, clearly, is based upon fiction. I am not arguing that the Palestinians shouldn’t have their own state; to the contrary. However, it is purely fiction to claim that there was a “historic Palestinian state” or that Israel conquered Palestinian territory in 1967. The West Bank (Judea and Sumeria), including East Jerusalem, was, from 1948 to 1967, controlled by Jordan, and the Gaza Strip was controlled by Egypt. Previously, the land was controlled by the British, who took it over from the Ottomans. Let’s get our facts strait; Jerusalem is not now, nor was it ever, an “integral part of Palestine.” Whether the political powers that be ought to decide to make East Jerusalem the capitol of Palestine is not within the scope of this article. Yet, the clear changing of facts being iterated by Fayyad and the Palestinian Authority for years, here, I felt must be addressed.

Discussing settlement building, Fayyad explained the political dimension of protest to settlement building. If Israel cannot refrain from that, “how confidant can we all [Palestinians] be that” Israel would be willing to deliver on the final status issues?

Though to that, Israel might respond, if the Palestinian Authority cannot keep their people from attempting attacks on Israel in the interim period, how can we [Israel] be confident that the Palestinian government, when a state is established, will be capable or willing to do so?

According to Fayyad, the goal is to establish a sovereign Palestinian state by mid-2011, preceded by a full Israeli withdrawal by the end of 2010. Fayad proudly remarked that over 100 completed development programs have been implemented, and they are “ready for the next batch.” He expressed that a combination of “bottom-up” and “top-down” processes are needed.

Last, he turned to Gaza. There are many problems with Gaza, he said. Mentioning two, he stated that first, Palestinians have a constitutional right to national elections, which are being prevented by forces in Gaza. Second, referring to the Israeli blockade, he said that “siege must be lifted” to allow for accomplishments in Gaza to be made.

Interestingly, the fact the PA doesn’t control Gaza, and that Hamas is on the rise in the West Bank, as well, was not mentioned at all, throughout his 30-something minute speech.

Fayyad was warmly received and even received one or two standing ovations. Reaction from those attending the conference seem to fall into camps. Some greatly enjoyed Fayyad’s speech and found it to be “right on the mark.” Others, however, were greatly dismayed by the “flagrant propaganda spewed” throughout the speech.

The boxing match continues and Israel is about to get bloodied.

As I’ve written in the past few weeks, the Palestinians believe the timing is propitious for them to pursue their endgame. I believe they think their endgame – the knock-out punch that will bring about the final part of this century-old conflict and finally give them control over the Jews and the former Ottoman Palestine – is what happens when a single state, run by an Arab majority, exists from the Sea to the River (I would argue they believe they would next lay claim to Jordan, but that’s fodder for another discussion).

To achieve this goal, the Palestinians must keep Israel off-balance while continuing to jab and throw the occasional left hook or two. Their jabs and punches take many forms: terrorism (not just blowing up buses, restaurants and hotels, but also rockets launched at civilians), diplomatic warfare, propaganda that vilifies Jews and Israel, strong media relations that consistently depict Israel’s actions as that of an evil ogre (especially if they are security based), international and domestic law-fare and pressure upon Israel’s allies which is supported and strengthened by the Arab and Muslim entourage blocs who sit in the Palestinian’s corner profiting from the Palestinian’s black eyes and bloody nose while watching from the sidelines.

This fighter, the Palestinian nation, has shown moments of brutal aggression in previous rounds, showing that it indeed belongs in the ring and doesn’t need proxies fighting its wars, but in the latest, current round, is taking a more sophisticated approach to the fight.

This fighting strategy has evolved in the past few years partly as a response to prize-fighter Israel’s success in winning the Palestinian War of 2000. For years, the Palestinians succeeded in penetrating Israel and committing atrocities against Israeli civilians, inflicting severe emotional and physical blows against their opponent. However, their opponent is a middleweight and they’re lightweights. Israel wore them down with efficacious punches that became harder and harder to counter. It evacuated Gaza, leaving that strip of land without a connection to the West Bank, forcing the Palestinians to fight with two uncoordinated arms. It parried punches with stronger punches, stopping most of the terror attacks through intensive intelligence gathering, using targeted killings, developing defensive strategies such as the security barrier and large increases in the number of check-points, and decreases in the number of Palestinians permitted to travel into Israel to work. While doing these things, Israel also kept pushing the Palestinians into a smaller and tighter corner. With Gaza gone, additional territory in the rink was being overwhelmed by Israel as it grew settlements in Judea and Samaria/West Bank and built out parts of Jerusalem. To fortify their claims, the over-confident Israelis kept pointing to their increasing activities such as archaeological digs to point out that the ring should be theirs because of the historic connection of early Jews to Jerusalem and Israel.

But the Israelis don’t know how to close a fight, and when they had the Palestinians down for the count, they stepped back and offered peace. They did this in 2000, 2001 and 2008. Every time, the Palestinians refused to accept a truce and stepped right back into the fight, even more fiercely than before. Even after the pain of fighting a losing war in the Palestinian War of 2000, faced with extensive body blows and reeling from the loss of their charismatic promoter, Yasser Arafat, the Palestinians did not bow down or give up – after all, this fight is in an inescapable iron cage and since the UN ref won’t let either side kill off the other, the fight must go on, blow after bloody blow.

It took a few years, but the solution came in the form of a new trainer, Salam Fayyad, a western-trained economist who worked in the highest echelons of international finance. Fayyad understands that the crowd which matters here is the West and they can influence the ref to give advantages to the Palestinians. Fayyad and his boss, Mahmoud Abbas who had once written a doctoral dissertation denying parts of the Holocaust, understood well that fighting a bigger, stronger fighter with brutality would only lead to greater injury and a possible loss. No, that was not the way to win an uneven fight. The only way to beat a stronger opponent is to make him work harder, make him work non-stop, tire him out, weaken him with painful and confusing jabs to the side and wait until he is too fatigued to resist. Time will do the rest.

So the Palestinians went into the rope-a-dope.

Instead of terrorism, the Palestinians began to demonstrate using civilians at B’ilin; instead of loud proclamations in the Arab media, they wooed European and North American activists to proclaim for them that Israel was an unjust state; instead of fighting fire with fire, they fought fire with fake media demonstrations like Muhammad al-Dura and the bomb that killed the family on the beach in Gaza; instead of calling Israel names, they let their shills from the Left (especially sympathetic Jews and university activism) vilify Israel in the most heinous terms (genocide; apartheid), and of course they counted on the confusion their elusive rope-a-dope strategy was sowing upon their opponent.

Their lumbering opponent, unable to see that the underdog’s strategy had changed and was now making use of their smaller size and sympathetic crowd to form a dangerous advantage, kept acting with unsophisticated brutishness. it kept pushing the settlements, watched its economy grow and its society become more entrenched even in areas that it knew it may not be able to keep, it announced a law that made it look bigoted because it prevented Palestinian Arabs from moving into Israel and bulldozed buildings under judgmental reporters’ watchful eyes. Whenever stung by jabs, Israel fought back with a barrage of heavy blows against Lebanon and Gaza, proving that a media victory can overwhelm a military victory.

Winning few points against the elusive smaller fighter who kept bouncing against the ropes, the lumbering middleweight began to feel tired and to question his own motives and tactics. And that’s the moment in which we find ourselves now: the moment when the smaller fighter against the ropes senses the weakness and fatigue of the larger fighter and comes out of the ropes quickly and aggressively to fight in the hope that time has done its share and given the advantage to the less tired and extremely motivated underdog.

Over the past few weeks, the Palestinians have come out of the ropes with threats that they won’t even discuss peace unless Israel treats not just the settlements as illegal by stopping all construction there but also give the same status to Jerusalem. The US, a fight enthusiast that had been trying to support both sides even as it kept sending messages of support to Israel’s corner, immediately supported this idea.

The Palestinians followed that jab with a second jab to the other side by announcing that their leader, Abbas, would resign, throwing the ref and the crowd into a tizzy since Abbas is believed to be a “moderate” and the only one on the Palestinian side with enough heft to deliver peace.

After these couple of jabs, the Palestinians followed with a strong right hook, allowing leaks to Ha’aretz and other reporters that Fayyad was planning to unilaterally announce a state on the 1967/1949 Armistice lines. The Israelis, tired and hurt, began to lobby the Americans, the Europeans and even the ref hard to stop this from happening. Feinting to the right, the Palestinians announced that Abbas was not in favor of Fayyad’s action. Somewhat relieved, the Israelis went to Washington to meet with the American President, who treated them as if they were from the enemy’s gym, not as their supporter and mentor. In fact, he apparently informed the Israelis that he was now supporting the Palestinian fighter unless the Israeli fighter backed off with his heavy-handedness.

Israel got the message. Bloodied, hurt and surprised by the new-found strength and crowd-support the other fighter was bringing to the fight, the Israelis lowered their defenses a little and announced a settlement freeze. Sensing weakness, the Palestinians lured in the Israelis with a light punch as Saeb Erakat announced that even the announcement to stop settlement building wouldn’t open the door the crowd demanded to talk peace. Duped, the Israelis felt they had gotten out of trouble and already began to make crowing noises about how they had put the ball in the Palestinians’ court and the Palestinians were the ones refusing to play. The Palestinians ignored this entirely. They had the Israelis right where they wanted them.

POW!! Uppercut!

That was today’s announcement that they will seek to have the ref change the rules by which the fight had been fought to their advantage. They are asking the UN to relinquish UNSCR 242 and 338 by replacing them with a new resolution that grants the Palestinians the West Bank/Judea and Samaria as well as the eastern part of Jerusalem before the next round begins. It’s official.

UNSCR 242 demands that before any peace deal is achieved and any land is given up – and specifying that not ALL the land is to be given up – peace and acceptance of all states in the region, including Israel, must be achieved. Suddenly these rules are to be changed and if they are, the price is not the West Bank/Judea and Samaria, it is Jerusalem itself. The holy part of Jerusalem.

Lo and behold, it appears the Palestinian wooing of the crowd in previous rounds as well as Israel’s perceived brutishness, mixed in with unfair singling out of this fighter because he wears a star of David on his shorts, have solidified the crowd’s support for the move and the ref will have no less than the EU supporting this move. He might even have the US’s support.

Do the Palestinians think this is the end? Heck, no. They think this is the beginning of the endgame; a final round of this fight that will last the next several years. Victory for them will be when Israel is no longer even fighting in the ring but is subjugated to their control. To accomplish this, whether they get the UN Security Council to accept the changes to 242 or not, just by having the General Assembly record these new rules and then kicking it into the Security Council, which has authority to create international law, they know that the pressure on Israel to succumb will be great, and they also know they will have the moral backing of the world as they continue to lash out at the weakened prize-fighter in front of them. After all, it will now be their land, as promised by the UN, that they will be “defending.”

Can Israel get out of this predicament? Yes. It will be tough, and I doubt that any of Israel’s current leaders in the government and the opposition have shown they have the acumen to do it, but some well aimed moves at their opponent can put Israel back in control of the fight. Sadly, if they don’t do these things soon, there is a very good chance we will see another war soon. A real war this time, where the Arabs bring the war into Israel itself.

Why did Nefesh B’Nefesh, an organization dedicated to bringing Jews to Israel on Aliyah and organizing bloggers conferences, organize a Flash Mob in downtown (as it were) Jerusalem last Friday? Was it in celebration of Hanukah? Must be because the mob danced to frequent Jewlicious Festival participant Smooth E’s Hanukkah Hey Ya. Others noted that perhaps Nefesh B’Nefesh was in fact making a political statement what with the mixed egalitarian dancing and all. Whatever. It was fun. Get over yourselves.

From the JTA: Woman wearing tallit arrested at Western Wall

From the JPost: Woman wearing talit at Kotel detained

From Haaretz: Police arrest woman for wearing prayer shawl at Western Wall

From ArutzSheva: Police Arrest, Release Woman with Prayer Shawl at Kotel.

In fact the articles are completely different — JPost says a woman was detained after trying to read from a Torah near the Kotel. The JTA, that she was arrested for wearing a Tallit.

The prayer shawl was not the reason she was detained. She was not arrested, obviously, because she was immediately released. I am not judging what should happen there — I advocate some kind of compromise — I am judging the sensational headlines, and the damage they do to the Jewish people, by our own news sources.

Forget the whole CNN vs FOX vs MSNBC debate. We have our own headline battles, though more subtle.

The woman detained was interviewed by the Jpost:

Frenkel said that as the women unrolled the Torah scroll and began to prepare to read, officials from the Kotel Foundation arrived and demanded that they leave the premises.

Frenkel said that the women agreed to roll up the Torah scroll and take it to the Robinsons Arch. But on their way out Frenkel, who was wearing a talit and was carrying the Torah, was seized by police.

I was pushed into a nearby police station and transferred to the main police station at Yaffo Gate, she said.

About 40 women who attended the prayer formed a procession and followed the police and Frenkel through the Old City to the Yaffo Gate where they congregated and sang songs until Frenkel was released.

The Jewish headlines are helping to divide an already divided people desperate for some kind of unity to face external threats.

If you are anything like me, you hate pretty much all Israeli t-shirt designs that you see at Shuk HaKarmel.   I think the one I hate the most is

Don’t worry.  Benji Lovitt, from What War Zone,   is remedying the situation by selling his own wittily-captioned t-shirts based on some content from his blog and Israeli life in general, which you can buy here and which are wittier than anything currently available on Ben Yehuda.  I should take this opportunity to mention that Benji is my favorite Israeli comedian, aside from Avigdor Lieberman.

My favorite shirt is this one :

But he has a bunch of great shirts available, so check them out and support!

I was going to call this piece “Abbas Plays Poker” but then Khaled Abu Toameh wrote a piece in the J Post called Abbas’s Big Bluff in which he argues that Abbas has called for Palestinian elections now with the knowledge that Hamas won’t participate. Khaled doesn’t quite make the point that this is a way for Abbas to stay in power, but that’s exactly what it is.

That touches on the big bluff. The bluff is not the one directed at Hamas, but the one directed at the international community and especially the Obama administration. For years and years American foreign policy has been built around the premise that there is a Palestinian partner for peace. After Arafat died and Abbas became the new leader of the Palestinians, the word came out from American diplomatic circles and parroted by the media, that Mahmoud Abbas was a moderate and sympathetic to the West.

Well, Abbas has now told the world that he is planning to quit. He is so darned frustrated with the non-progress of the peace talks, and especially with the Americans’ inability to “freeze” all Israeli building activity not only in the West Bank/Judea and Samaria, but also in east Jerusalem. He’s had enough of this and now he’s going to leave. Unspoken in the threat is that there isn’t anybody else who is “moderate” and of a leadership capacity to replace him. Salam Fayyad, for example, the current PM of the Palestinians is considered capable, but a technocrat who is not particularly beloved among the Palestinians. Others like the young guard, Dahlan and Barghouti are either not ripe yet or in prison. Abbas is the only known quantity and since the conventional wisdom places him as a moderate, losing him would spell the end of the known and entry into the unknown. Chaos is sure to follow, is the assumption among many diplomats in the West.

Let’s call this Bluff #1.
(more…)

Tomorrow evening, just before sunset, Jerusalem will be the site of what may very well be a very momentous occasion – Rabbi Sharon Brous’ Los Angeles Ikar Congregation is opening a little annex here in Jerusalem. Sort of.

Rabbi Brous, who got her smichah from the Jewish Theological Seminary, was listed (what? 3 times?) in the Forward 50 as well as in Newsweek’s 50 most Influential Rabbis in the US list. Much of that buzz has to do with exuberant and meaningful nature of the traditional/egalitarian services that she runs at Ikar.

Anyhow, called B’nei Ikar, and run out of someone’s house with a potluck afterwards, I have no idea whether this thing, oh here’s the facebook link, is even official. But still. If this gets big (they have 14 confirmed guests so far) then maybe more of these folks will stay in Israel. People always complain about the role of Orthodox Judaism in Israeli political life, and how it shuts out other streams of Judaism, and my response is “get more people who think like you to move here and have babies.” Now there’s another reason for them to do so! Shabat Shalom Angelenos! Hope you’ll stay a while!

At the intersection of Fresh Vegetables and High Tech

The shuk is going to be hopping this Sunday night as Jerusalem’s twitter community gets together at Cafe Aroma for the world’s only tweet up where you can combine face to face networking, pretty decent espresso and fresh cucumbers. Many of you who have been to Machaneh Yehuda are already familiar with the obvious benefits of this centrally located Jerusalem market – cheap produce, spices, household goods etc. Machaneh Yehuda is also in the midst of an ever increasing process of gentrification that has added high end shops and fancy shmancy cafes into the mix as well. But one of the things you don’t see when visiting is the free almost ubiquitous wifi which is beginning to turn this once impoverished area into somewhat of a tech hub where geeks rub shoulders with Yemenite healer men while planning their next startup.

Thus it only makes sense that the next Jerusalem tweetUP! takes place at Cafe Aroma in the shuk. It’s on aa Sunday at 8:30 pm so you can park IN the actual shuk and afterward, one of the local chi chi cafes has live Jazz and Tapas. So… if you’re in or near Jerusalem, come on down! You can let people know you’re coming or invite others through the facebook events page, or just show up. We don’t care! See ya Sunday night!

Oh and shuk photo credit? Sweet Jahne, aw sweet, sweet Jahne…

It really does (right-click to enlarge).

Nope. This isn’t about a free Birthright Israel trip (although registration for winter begins Sept. 8th and you can go with us – more info here), or any kind of flashy contest with cool prizes. The Ticket to Jerusalem Project is a simple concept, really. All you have to do is create any kind of artwork called “Ticket To Jerusalem”. Do it on a thick horizontal piece of paper, 8×3″ (20×8 cm), the size of conventional airplane ticket or boarding pass. Attach a stamp, add a return address and mail it WITHOUT an envelope to: Radik Shvarts, PO Box 245614, Brooklyn, NY, 11224, USA. The project deadline is January 1st, 2010 and all entries will posted online. Most of them will also be exhibited internationally and featured in a book titled “Ticket To Jerusalem” that will be published in 2010. Every person, whose artwork is featured in the book will get a free copy.

That’s it! So far the site features a pretty eclectic collection of 41 pieces of ticket art and, and… I don’t know what to say. It’s kind of sweet because there seems to be no underlying political message. No one’s trying to sell you anything, it’s just this very whimsical thing that is a pure celebration of creativity. OK so it is sponsored by the UJA Federation of New York, and COJECO (a central coordinating body in the Russian Jewish community of NY that works towards successul integration of Russian Jews into American Jewish life) but so what? Good on them for being involved in something that’s this much… fun!

And already she has prevented a sabbath violation!

So I’m sitting at a place called Tarrantino on Hillel and the paper near me (Yediot) reports that Madonna landed last night at Ben Gurion. Accompanied by her kids and a large posse, Esther plans on visiting Jerusalem prior to her two shows at Park Hayarkon in Tel Aviv on Tuesday and Wednesday. Yediot reports that her crew was already in town last week to build the stage for the shows. However, Madonna insisted that all work cease Friday night so as to avoid a violation of the Sabbath. OK, all that kabbalah junk aside, see? Madonna is more Jewish than you are. Heh. Shavuah tov Madge. Break a leg. Tuesday’s show is sold out but some tickets are still available for the next day’s show with prices starting at 490 NIS (about $125).

So began my little speech at Friday night dinner. There were 17 of us assembled and it was quite the diverse crew. We had Leah, Kate, Sasha and Talya who were getting ready for the upcoming ROI Summit. We had some local Nachlaot spiritual hippy types, denominations from Orthodox to Reform represented, the unaffiliated, Orthodox lesbian activists, right wingers, peace activists including one woman who came on Birthright Israel last summer and then joined Birthright Unplugged in the West Bank – suffice it to say we were a diverse group that came together Friday night, after an eventful week, to enjoy a peaceful and yummy Shabbat dinner. Some of us had just marched in Jerusalem’s Pride Parade on Thursday, and all of us were mindful of the heating up Shabbat Wars related to the municipality’s opening of a parking lot on the Sabbath, much to the consternation (to say the least) of members of the Haredi community.

Our Shabbat dinner table however, was lively but peaceful. Sarah and Leah helped make Matbuchah which we will turn into Shakshuka come Sunday morning. In doing so they learned first hand of the perils of cleaning hot peppers by hand (sorry ladies!) and there was tons of yummy food for all. We went around the table and made introductions and when it was my turn, I quoted the first line of Pirkei Avot (The Ethics of our Fathers). Rashi commented on the line and wondered if it meant that all of Israel, by mere virtue of being Jewish, had a share in the world to come (or whatever the penultimate goal of Judaism is). That kind of didn’t make sense – why follow the laws then? What’s the incentive to be righteous? The answer was that the sentence isn’t meant to be taken literally. What it means is that when all the Jews are united, only then are they worthy of a portion in the world to come.

Gazing around our table, far from the anger and hatred on the streets of Jerusalem that only further divisiveness, I knew that we were, in some small measure, doing our part to merit inclusion in the world to come. As we sang our Shabbat songs, even those who didn’t know the words joined by tapping a beat on the table and I knew that we had managed to carve out our own slice of Olam Haba around our modest table.

If they were not on Facebook inviting people to join their fanpage, I might never had heard of this. Well, perhaps I would have when I got to LA, which seems to be the hive of their activities.

Apparently LA is the center of some really frightenting parasitic religious groups. There is of course Madonna’s Kabob Center and there is this: The Messianic Jewish Theological Institute. With campuses in LA and Jerusalem, I might add.

I know that we have serious problems out there. Big, and Major problems. With Israel, Iran, terror, unemployment. All kinds of “mean, ugly and nasty” stuff, to quote Arlo Guthrie. So why waste a few keystrokes on these guys?

Well they are on Facebook, and I feel a moral obligation to inform and warn the general public about this parasitic group that regularly feeds on unsuspecting Jews.

Ok. Now you know. If you are Jewish, please stay far far far far away from these guys and you will be fine.

From their Rabbinical Program Desciption:

RO’I offers practical courses in congregational leadership. RO’I also provides spiritual and vocational direction for Rabbinical candidates. While SJS is a distance learning program, RO’I offers intensive, face-to-face courses given in conjunction with UMJC conferences and retreats.

MJTI is an approved school of the Union of Messianic Jewish Congregations. We offer the courses required for the UMJC Madrikh (Licensure) Certificate and S’micha (Ordination). You can learn more about the MJTI courses by reading the MJTI Program Guide.

However, MJTI does not offer the Madrikh and S’micha credentials themselves. These are offered by the UMJC. For more information about the Madrikh (Licensure) Certificate, and an application for the program, please visit the UMJC website.

$5 Million apparently…

Our dear froylein wrote about Woody Allen’s $10 million suit against American Apparel for using his image on billboards in Hollywood and New York without his permission. On the eve of the trial, American Apparel’s Insurance company and Allen reached a settlement for $5 million. Which is too bad really. I was curious to find out what possible commercial value could be associated with a guy who took nude pics of and later married his girlfriend’s adopted daughter. Allen and said girlfriend, Mia Farrow, had a biological son together and Ronan Seamus Farrow had this to say about Daddy’s shenanigans:

He’s my father married to my sister. That makes me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral transgression. I cannot see him. I cannot have a relationship with my father and be morally consistent… I lived with all these adopted children, so they are my family. To say Soon-Yi was not my sister is an insult to all adopted children.

American Apparel’s lawyers promised to wage a scorched earth battle against Allen. Also at issue was the company’s 1st Amendment rights to make a non-commercial statement and make “fair use” of an image that would otherwise fall under copyright protection. Dov Charney, the CEO of AA stated:

For the record, I personally think we had a good case. As one of my lawyers, Adam Levin explained, “Common sense dictates that the billboard at issue here is ‘not a simple advertisement.’ As a matter of law, no commercial transaction is proposed: no merchandise is shown or described, and no price is quoted. Instead, the billboard contains an image of an Orthodox Jew in a black top hat – none of which can be purchased at American Apparel. And the writing on the poster is not the copy of a commercial advertisement, but Yiddish words identifying Allen as “The High Rabbi.” Finally, even if the billboard is found to have the dual purpose of a commercial transaction and an expressive medium, First Amendment protection still attaches because the two elements are ‘inextricably intertwined.’ The decision of the United States Court of Appeal for the Ninth Circuit in Hoffman v. Capital Cities/ABC http://www.altlaw.org/v1/cases/1610780 …makes [it] abundantly clear that the speech at issue in this case is protected by the First Amendment. Any other conclusion inevitably would chill critical social and political commentary and debate.” … The billboards were designed to inspire dialogue. They were certainly never intended to sell clothes.

American Apparel has in the past used it’s marketing clout to advocate for immigration reform and against California’s Proposition 8 which banned gay marriage in the state.

Woody Allen is a wienie, what can I say. I would have had a tiny smidgen of respect for him had he just accepted the pulling of the billboards after less than a week and an apology. But that’s not saying much really. I find it hard to have respect for anyone who done diddled where he done did. Jerk. I’m now going to make it a point to shop at the American Apparel on Rivlin street in Jerusalem in order to help offset the company’s higher insurance premiums. OK, ok. I’m also gonna buy some hot shorts for a friend who I am sure is going to look awesome in ‘em. What can I say? I’m a true humanitarian!

Props to Jessica at Israel 21c for finally noticing that Jerusalem has an American Apparel! Here’s a tip though. Next time you visit the store, leave the double stroller outside – one of the staff will be happy to watch the kids while you shop for uh… hot shorts or whatever!

Yup. No speeches. No pitches. Just a great opportunity (starting at 8 pm) to meet cool and interesting people in an appropriate setting conducive to friendly networking. Free wine (while supplies last) and yummy snacks to boot ought to guarantee a good time for all! But who are these sponsors that are helping to make things happen? Well, they are a very diverse lot and include high tech startups, non-profits and partners just helping to get the word out. So by all means please RSVP on our Facebook event page and keep reading to find out more about our sponsors!

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At Jewlicious we seem to have excelled at creating a real online community. But we’ve always realized that there are limitations to online interaction and we are thus always eager to facilitate real world interaction – you know, like the Jewlicious Festival (duh). With twitter becoming the next big thing, we decided, along with our local crew in Jerusalem, to run a twitter meeting, or tweetup in Jerusalem.

So it’s time to party Jerusalem style! If you’re in Israel, come join some of the finest twits in all the land at Bulghourji Lounge and Gardens on Armenian Patriarchate Rd. 6 (Armenian Quarter – Old City) Jerusalem. It’s by the Jaffa Gate just past Migdal David. Really easy to get to (see the video for directions even a Tel Aviver can follow) and you can park for three hours for free at the Mamilla Mall. This tweetup will feature the usual tweetup action – networking with your peers, a geeky vibe – all that stuff, but with a twist! Thanks to the generosity of our sponsors, each attendee will get a free glass of wine (while supplies last) and there will be snack food to munch on fresh from the shuk. Also in attendance will be DJ Babette from Amsterdam to spin cool tunes to help you geek out!

All wine served is Kosher as are our sommeliers. The snacks are Badatz and everything will be served in or on plastic. Other than that, get ready to have a great time and stay tuned for further details as they emerge!

Special thanks of course go to all our sponsors:
Leadel.net, The ROI Community, Haaretz, JewTube, Headup.com, The Israel Artist Agency, the Jerusalem Post, tweeture, Glooq WebAds, Jerusalem.com, Jerusalem Blueprint, eJewishPhilanthropy, Presentense, and, of course, your hosts Tachlis Jewlicious.

If you have any questions, feel free to email us at info@tachlis.org, RSVP on Facebook (and invite your friends) or catch me on twitter – I’m @jewlicious and I am here to answer all your questions!

Will we see you on Monday? I hope so! Feel free to pass this on

Jon Stewart and The Daily Show’s take on the Pope’s visit to Jerusalem:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M – Th 11p / 10c
Roadus Triptum
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

I was going to write a more substantive post, but there are hungry people coming over for Shabbat! I have to cook and clean and besides, this is actually pretty darn funny.

Sure, I’ve taken the piss out of Pope Benedict from time to time, and all indications are that my ribbing has been well received. From the adventures of the Pope as a teen in the Hitler Youth, to that one time when he liberated Jerusalem and that other time when he snuck into the Jewlicious Festival, the Pope has been the good natured butt of our scurrilous attacks. Why good natured? Because today the Pope landed in Jerusalem and I have yet to be detained. In fact, I just, mere moments ago, saw his motorcade drive by the old city. Yup – life in Jerusalem is one massive traffic jam as roads are closed and traffic is diverted (badly) for the sake of Pope Benedict’s security. And Catholics? Dang! They are all over the place!

And you know what else? As demonstrated by this visiting group of Polish Catholics, they Israeli dance better than you do, they know more Hebrew songs than you do and their pronunciation doesn’t suck like yours does. So we’re all honored by this visit by a former member of the Hitler Youth, and awed by the sight of the grandchildren and great grandchildren of people who hunted us down and sent us to gas chambers, singing in Hebrew and dancing in the capital of the Jewish state. These are strange times i tell you. Strange, strange times… Happy lag baomer. Hope you build a nice bonfire. Keep the Catholics away though – bonfires, Catholics and Jews don’t usually go together so well…

Rob Tannenbaum of the band Good For The Jews came to Israel for the first time, accompanied by his lovely girlfriend Gabrielle. We took an informal tour of the old city including a visit to Har ha Bayit (the Temple Mount, where I rocked my stupid Mohawk) and capped off our fun day with an impromptu performance of “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat” in front of Jaffa Gate in the shadow of the Tower of David. Thanks to the amazing Talya Lev who backed up Rob with guitar and shaved my head. Israeli reaction? We were sitting next to deaf people so no. Not so much. Enjoy!

Well obviously we are no longer broadcasting from Cafe Aroma in the shuk. Instead I replaced the live feed with a photo of Jerusalem rapper Rinat Gutman who popped by and did some freestyle acapella rapping for the dozens of viewers from around the world who joined us in Machane Yehuda. Also on hand was Jewlicious poster dahlia who talked about, you know, this and that. It was nice chatting with all of you and I’m sure we’ll live broadcast again from somewhere in Jerusalem… stay tuned?

…and who did I run into at Café Aroma? Female Orthodox rapper Rinat Guttman and g-dcast dude, ROI alum, myjewishlearning.com guru and all around great guy Matthue Roth. We shot the shit, Matthue gave Rinat his business card so that myjewishlearning could maybe do a feature on her and I showed them the new g-dcast (Parshat Shemini) because Matthue hadn’t seen it yet (he’s traveling with family). This week’s G-dcast is narrated by JDub’s DeLeon. It’s pretty awesome, enjoy!

Oh and Shabbat Shalom mofos…

Our Save Passover initiative has already raised $485.67 from 19 generous donors! Today, along with the 33 NIS boxes of Matza (5 packs to a box!) I also bought some modest 30 NIS bottles of wine. The Passover seder involves the consumption of lots and lots of wine and since you guys have been so generous, I figured why not? But there was a problem. How do I give away wine? What possible story could I offer without making people feel bad for accepting a hand out? That’s when inspiration struck and I decided to recast myself as a recovering alcoholic! But my friends and family don’t know see? And they gifted me with all this wine that I can’t possibly have anywhere near me or else I’ll relapse and soon they will see me wandering the streets of the shuk at night yelling incoherently at passerby, my 6 years 4 months and 7 days of complete abstinence shot to hell! So yeah, it worked! People were really nice about it too as they unburdened me of that sweet, sweet life destroying nectar of the Gods. Heh.

I also need to thank Shula (not her real name) for her inadvertent help in identifying needy families in the hood. Shula is a widow with 5 boys and she knows everybody! She made some calls and I was able to get rid of the last of my wine and Matza. Problem now is I can never buy a beer and drink it in public. Oh well. We all have our crosses to bear! So to speak… In any case, should you wish to make any last minute contributions to Save Passover, you can use the button below. Thanks so much to everyone who has participated in this crazy project! And those of you that haven’t, here’s your last chance!

Also, as I mentioned in a previous post:

If you want to make a big donation, need a tax deduction or simply feel that I will spend your money on coke and hookers, please visit the Table to Table Web site and make a donation there while reading about their many innovative programs that aim to fight food hunger and waste in Israel. Like what? Like their Hametz initiative! Instead of throwing away your Hametz, you give it to Table To Table, they sell it, store it, and after Passover give it to food banks and stuff! Neat right?

Seriously. They’re much better at this than I am…