It really does (right-click to enlarge).

This sick video is up on YouTube, and maybe it should stay there so that people see how repulsive the Westboro Baptist Church really is.

Paul, Ringo and Yoko need to sue WBC for every dime they have, with some really smart Jewish lawyers.

Hat tip to y-love for pointing this out.

ed. note: If you’re in Park Slope, NY on Saturday Sept. 26th, please show your support to Congregation Beth Elohim which is scheduled to be picketed by the members of Westboro Baptist Church. Mazal Tov to little Natalie Chertoff who will be celebrating her bat mitzva that day.
–ck

He used to be such a hottie. Funny what time and 30+years of bitter, gutwrenching hostility can do to a man, habibi.

[Sidenote: for a COMPLETE list of Middle Eastern hottie/dead leaders, see this link.]

I am concerned. Muammar Gaddafi doesn’t have a place to sleep during his stay in the United States, having been denied by the Dirty Zionist town of Englewood, New Jersey,possibly denied by Jewish conspirator Donald Trump, and turned down at a number of major New York hotels.

To help him feel a little more at home in his Bedouin tent cum traveling Ringling Brothers Flying High Top as he continues to bring the Haterade on America (and Israel), I’ve graciously come up with a list of locations should feel free to use.  You can thank me later, Mo Mo.  Preferably by giving me my own AK-47.

1.  Newark, New Jersey-Its crime rate has plummeted to only 60% shootings every day!
2.  My home hood near Susquehannah Univesity, Pennsylvania, where there’s only a slight chance he’ll get cancer
3.  Clearfield, Pennsylvania, where he could possibly choke to death/die of cholesterol poisoning from a 5 lb burger
4. Some place in New York where there is a very small chance he could get run over by an epliplectic lorry driver (WTF is a lorry?)
5.  And the most obvious place?  An actual Bedouin Tent! Granted, it’s a restaurant and probably they could stick him near the sink or something, but still.  Duh, MoMo.  Think on your feet.  How did you ever stay in power so long.  You should just hire me to do all your major decisions for you.  First decision Ouiki would make? (yes, that’s right.  There’s no V in Arabic, so you have to substitute with a U.  No wonder Lybia never got anywhere.  How retarded is that? Oueri.)

Oh Jdate – you’ve failed me in so many ways…

As you may know, I am often frustrated by stereotypes… but I can’t help but note that I’ve met my first stereotypical American Self-Hating Jew.  Often, the term Self-Hating Jew is used to describe someone who disagrees with Israel, or alternately, an anti-Semitic Jew. In this case, it describes someone who speaks of other Jews/Judaism in a negative way. In particular, a young American Jew who bought me a drink but refused the opportunity to travel to Israel on a birthright trip, who hates Jews who love Israel more than America, who is proud of his designer accessories but shames American Jews who “all dress the same”…and the list of transgressions continues… (Who talks about this stuff on a first date!?)

When talking about the date experience with family and friends, we decided that he has some deep-seeded issues with Israel & Judaism. The only “positive” things he said included: I love the high holidays, but people who talk about other people instead of praying piss me off (please note- he doesn’t attend services any other time of the year) and I refuse to buy a BMW or a Ford because of their connection to the Holocaust.

The rest of the time, he spent complaining sometimes about particular stereotypical behaviors of different groups of Jews, sometimes about anything at all. For example, all young Jewish women watch a lot of TV, including Grey’s Anatomy, or comparing a “Jewish” tattoo (ie a Hamsah or your Hebrew name…) to getting numbers tattooed on one’s arm, about how Dirty a specific group of Sephardic Jews are, or about his fear of getting blown up in Israel.  All the while, he seemed to feel safe in his confessions.  And all the while, I argued, defending Israel, defending the diversity of “Jewish Ethnicity”, defending the right to Jewish self-expression, and ultimately defending my Jewish pride and identity.

In Judaism we ask questions – it’s in our faith, in our nature. But he never stopped to ask questions or to learn. He took only the time to make snap judgments, to take things at someone else’s perception of face value and never to delve deeper into his fears about visiting Israel, or his hatred of Jews who love Israel; even his tendencies to pigeon-hole his own people as Dirty, Materialistic & Shallow. I can only hope that my reaction to his comments push him to take a serious look at himself. I know his words have driven me. And I’ll screen more carefully next time.

Maybe it’s just the fact that Tisha B’Av is winding down for me and I’m writing this in a spate of hunger/anger that rivals the Hulk’s.  But you know what I think is even more ridiculous than the fact that I’ve been craving Frappuccino/pizza/pretzels all day?  The fact that Jews can’t get married in Israel. Specifically, Russian Jews.  That made aliyah and served in the IDF and now can’t marry because the Rabbinate doesn’t recognize that they are Jewish.  And so they have to fly out of the country, and their huppah in Israel won’t count for anything.

The Orthodox rabbinate forbids a legal wedding to Olga and Nico. On Israel’s Valentine’s Day, Tu B’Av, August 4 at 7:00 PM Israel time, Nico Tarosyan will marry Olga Samosvatov. The festive public ceremony in Tel Aviv’s Dizengoff Square will promote awareness of the human cost of the Orthodox monopoly on Jewish marriage in Israel.

If you want to throw them some cash to get to Prague, where they will actually marry, or so Olga can  buy a hideous Israeli wedding dress that matches the completely hideous situation she had to go through just because she can’t get married legally in Israel,  donate some money to their flight to Prague. I, for one, am giving them $19.  Why $19?  $18 for chai. And $1 so I can pay to punch the people who make these decisions in the face.  Molodtsi, rebyata (kol hakavod) for furthering the cause.

It’s sad to be a Russian these days.  The economy is swirling away softly down the toilet, we were unable to invade Georgia successfully, and Verka Serduchka, the Russian version of Dana International, still lives among us.  The greatest misfortune Russia faces is that it has run out of Jews to oppress due to  immigration to Israel, Canada, and the Greater New York metropolitan area.

Russians are a hardy people, though.  We know how to deal with hardships and surpass them.   Thus, we are innovating by dressing up monkeys as Jews in the Nikulin Circus, the most prestigious circus in Russia.   And the monkeys had a WEDDING.  WITH A CHUPPAH.

Micky Saidov, an Israeli businessman living in Russia never would have imagined that a trip with his daughter to one of the most talked about circuses in Moscow would go from an entertaining experience to a full-blown anti-Semitic one.

During one of the Nikulin Circus skits, the performers simulated a “Jewish Wedding”, with the leading roles being filled by four monkeys, acting as the bride, groom and their parents.

That present wagon looks like really nice Crate and Barrel silverware

These are some determined monkeys.   Heck, even I didn’t want to have a chuppah, citing homegirl Golda’s reluctance to be married under one.   Unfortunately, I was informed that seeing my parents’ only child being married partisan-style may result in a litany of medical conditions for my mom, including high fever, itchy eyes, sneezing, light heart murmurs, leprosy, and Unbearable Grief.  Which, I’m sure is the same thing Mama Meyerson told G.  Anyway, back to these monkeys.

Apparently, the trainers consulted with the Jewish cultural center before they put on this show:

The monkeys’ trainer Aziz Askarian said, “We consulted with representatives of the Jewish cultural center and they approved of everything. Moveover, they gave us advice on lighting that was imported from Israel.”

I was unsure of how to react to this situation, given that A) In the past there was no cultural center and the most Russians would have consulted before making fun of Jews is the poem, “There’s no water in your hall? Then the Yids have drank it all.”  and B) It seems the skit was done in a lighthearted way.  At most, there should be a warning that goes out to Israelis living in Russia: Please do not live here if you don’t understand that Russia has always had anti-Semitic overtones.  People, this is not Ramat Gan.

So I consulted with Mr. B, who is like a wise Latina, except that he is a Wise Russian Jew.

Mr. B: a lot of that depends on the context
Mr. B: I wouldn’t be pissed if this happened in a lot of other countries in the world
me: oh come on,  it’s anti-Semitic
me: at least they could have chosen giraffes. Jewraffes?
Mr. B: however considering how [when we lived in Russia] my mom was threatened by a drunk that wanted to carve a Star of David in her forehead and the cops said it was my mom’s fault, I tend to be more sensitive to these things
me: I tend to be more sensitive to Russians dressing up monkeys as Jews
Mr. B: would it be better if it was puppets?  it’s not like they dressed the monkeys to be money lenders
me: They could have. Maybe they just didn’t feel like making the costumes.
me: They got the peyot goin’ on
Mr. B: like the article said, they imitate many people including Russians, it’s not like this act is all the monkeys do
me: That’s true.
Mr. B: if we want to move passed being pogromed, humor needs to make a come back
Mr. B: I think it’s blown a bit out of proportion.  I wouldn’t get offended if it was the Druze or something
me: cause you’re not Druze
Mr. B: so they shouldn’t do any imitation acts?
me: They can. Just not people that they tend to have killed a lot of.  I wouldn’t mind it in America.  Cause America doesn’t quite have a history of pogromming it up.  It’s still a sore issue, and I don’t know that they approached it with the right amount of caution.

Mr. B has a valid point.  But I am still uneasy with monkeys as Jews.  Maybe giraffes for now.

This is based on news articles and I have not seen any of this show, I really can’t stand Idol.

As Danielle Berrin wrote this AM in the Jewish Journal:

here’s Lambert, 27, the avant-garde rocker from San Diego with clear-eyed ambition for Hollywood fame; and Allen, 23, an evangelical Christian from Arkansas who plays acoustic guitar and does missionary work….Lambert is the dark knight. Allen, by contrast, is clean-cut and pristine looking. He wears tshirts and jeans, sings sweetly and leads worship services at New Life Church back home.

In other words it was a real American rocker vs. a gay Jewish guy that loves musicals.

But CNN was stunned:

In a stunning upset, sweet-faced Kris Allen claimed victory over glam-rocker Adam Lambert in an “American Idol” showdown that received nearly 100 million votes from viewers.

Lambert, a 27-year-old former understudy in the touring production of “Wicked,” was heavily favored as the frontrunner throughout Season Eight.

Here is a little Lambert doing the Jewish thing. Both will have huge careers. Maybe Lambert will do Jewlicious Festival?

Mohawk on Har Ha Bayit: This image has nothing to do with this post. Sue me.

You guys can’t handle long thoughtful posts apparently. So here’s a snapshot of interesting stories, though unlike twitter, I will not restrict myself to 140 characters!

1. Israel Foreign Ministry takes credit for foiling Ahmadinejad’s planned South American trip:

Thousands of Brazilians, Jews and non-Jews, demonstrated in Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro on Sunday against Ahmadinejad’s planned visit. Scheduled for Wednesday, it would have been his first stop in South America… In Sao Paulo, some 1,000 people – including secular and Orthodox Jews, as well as evangelical Christians, homosexuals and Gypsies – gathered in a major square to protest… In Rio, another 1,000 demonstrators walked along Ipanema beach carrying signs and shouting messages against terrorism, homophobia and racism.

Good job! Maybe Avigdor Lieberman isn’t a total dope? Uh… nah. No need to exaggerate. In other news, Israeli President Shimon Peres compared Ahmadinejad to Hitler in a recent meeting with US President Barack Obama.

2. A National High School Mock Trial competition has led to a real trial when an Orthodox School, Massachusetts state champs, were prevented from competing because of the organizers’ refusal to reschedule the Sabbath portion of the competition:

The students, whose school had never won a state championship in any activity, were crestfallen when told of the national scheduling problem. But they were also excited about their new role… “The idea of a mock trial being in the middle of a real legal battle is pretty cool,” said Leah Sarna, 17… Her father, Jonathan D. Sarna, a well-known professor of Jewish history at Brandeis University, said the team was learning a legal lesson about “what it means to be a minority group.”

If the Brookline kids don’t win, they can always dull their bitter disappointment, Cinco De Mayo style, with Kosher Tequila!

3. Jewish men and boys are disengaging from Reform Judaism:

It is a real phenomenon, affecting our rabbis, cantors, and educators; our teenage males. and the adult men of our community. While there are several complicated causes, one that cannot be denied is the fact that the temple culture in many locations is increasingly seen by many men as out of balance. By that, I mean it favors the needs and interests of women to such an extent that it can be perceived as ignoring men’s spiritual needs and interests.

Shocker! I’m going to shut up now.

4. Christians drilling for oil in Israel? It’s a matter of faith I guess…

“As a Christian Zionist and New Covenant believer, I received the calling to render assistance to the Jewish people and the Nation of Israel and to aid them in the restoration of the land by providing the oil and gas necessary to maintain their political and economic independence,” Brown says.

Uhm. Thanks Christians, and good luck.

5. He’s from England. He’s an atheist. His Politics are Center Left. And he strongly supports Israel (!!). Why?

Despite the minus points however, Israel is in my view, a brave, vastly misunderstood and much hated (unwarranted) living and breathing embodiment of democracy and liberty fighting tyranny and religious despotism. It’s a nation that needs our support, our good will, our understanding and our help because if we refuse, we are in fact permitting large chunks of our own values and ideals of freedom be torn apart by Islamic absolutism. We in Europe, America and the rest of the democratic world are not idle spectators to this ‘regional’ confrontation between Israel and groups like Hezbollah and Hamas, as it so often might seem; we are on the very same front line! From the Philippines to southern Russia and from the Parisian suburbs to Sudan and Nigeria there lies the same inherent danger that is facing us all, that of Islamic terrorism.

Read this well written and reasoned essay. It encompasses a blueprint for rapprochement with an important element of Western society that has, almost against all reason and logic, unnecessarily distanced itself from Israel.

6. Al-Quaeda hip-hop jihad reality TV show from Somalia:

“Mortar by mortar, shell by shell, only going to stop when I send them to hell,” the unidentified voice raps on the video, which runs at least 18 minutes… The video also shows a man reported to be Abu Mansoor al-Amriki, dubbed “The American” by al Qaeda. He apparently is now in Somalia training and counseling Somalis from North America and Europe. He speaks in American English… “Away from your family, away from our friends, away from ice, candy bars, all those things is because we’re waiting to meet the enemy,” says the man believed to be al-Amriki.

Read the article and see the video on CNN.

7. Orthodox Jewish Community Struggles with Abuse Allegations:

The Brooklyn district attorney’s office, which last month announced a hotline for alleged Orthodox sex abuse victims, says it has 19 active cases of alleged sex abuse in the borough’s Orthodox Jewish community. And advocates say the problem extends beyond Brooklyn… “If you’re a pedophile, just go to one of the orthodox communities. You’re probably safest there,” said New York State Assemblyman Dov Hikind, himself an Orthodox Jew. “It’s sad for me to say that, but it’s true.”

I don’t know if “stuggle” is the right word. Seems there’s still a lot of denial and obfuscation. Seems to me that the powers that be in these communities need to understand that the truth will always come out and that it’s MUCH less of a Chillul Hashem to openly deal with allegations of sexual abuse then it is to hide them.

8. Artistic Genius and Self Destructive behavior – Understanding Amy Winehouse by considering Jean Rhys, author of Wide Sargasso Sea:

Amy Winehouse turns her black, bewildered eyes towards the cameras and we too are bewildered. Why does she seem to want to kill herself with drugs? Is the source of her pain the source of her genius? We seem to have been asking these questions for years, as she disintegrates yet further, live on Sky News… But a superb new book has just come out that provides clues. Lilian Pizzichini has written a portrait of Jean Rhys – the patron saint of alcoholic writers. Her life was an opera of violence and self-destruction. She was helpless; she wanted to destroy herself and she did, and between the blackouts and the chaos, the occasional novel leaked out.

Boy am I glad I’m not a Female genius consumed by self loathing with a substance abuse problem…

9. Sarah Silverman wins Webby Awards!

Sarah Silverman’s plug for “The Great Schlep” — the effort to get young Jews down to Florida so that they could convice their grandparents to vote for Barack Obama — won the Webby Award for best political video. Silverman also won the best actress award — for this not-for-the-children video about her fictitious affair with actor Matt Damon.

Eishet Chayil Mi Yimtsah? Is she still dating that dope Kimmel? Oy.

10. The Greatest Jewish Resurrection Since Jesus Christ? Winona Ryder set to make a big come back:

Dazzling, rebellious and iconoclastic, she was the elfin beauty in the 1980s bratpack before her conviction for shoplifting and spectacular fall from grace. Now the star of Heathers and The Age of Innocence is returning with a batch of summer movies…

Yes. She’s Jewish. I say “Yay!”

11. I sense the apocalypse approaching – The JTA releases its list of the 100 Most Influential Jewish Twitterers. Much controversy ensues – Google it if you care. Against all reason or logic, I was ranked number 2. Good lord. Geez you guys – my entire presence on twitter is an elaborate joke!

MyJewishLearning has released the second part of what looks like an ongoing video series. The last one was titled “How Jews Look.” This video explores a little known aspect of Judaism, food. Yes, apparently Jews like to eat and how and what they eat is reflective not just of their tastes but of their Judaism. Who knew! No but seriously, it’s a cute video. Watch it!

How Jews Eat from MyJewishLearning.com on Vimeo.

Gosh! I can’t wait till they produce “How Jews Fu…” oh never mind. I’ll just pull out the Ron Jeremy videos for that.